Author's note: I'm sorry for not updating! High school is busy. This mandatory filler chapter was written completely by my sister. It is, to say the least... horrifying. Please review anyways... assuming your eyeballs don't burn out.
I do not own the Hunger Games. If I did, Buttercup would be the main character.
After a short car ride to the train station, Mary's face instantly lost all traces of tears the second she looked at the first camera. Her reaping outfit sparkled more than Edward Cullen in full sun surrounded by mirrors, but of course all of the pictures and footage were perfect anyways. She hurried into the train, closely followed by Stewart. As soon as the door closed, the train started moving. Mary and Stewart were completely unaffected by the sudden burst of speed and proceeded to make out on the polka dotted velvet plush sofa, before realizing that the color clashed with both of their outfits. They immediately sprang apart and began the obligatory banter with their drunken mentor, Jayfinch. "I l-love you Jayfinch, you remind-ind me of my dearest deceased father." Mary sputtered, immediately giving Jayfinch a big hug.
"Well, you're obviously not going to win by actually killing anyone, unless they die from laughing at you." The train turned, and Mary fell over. Jayfinch stared at the wall. Mary blinked. Mary's dress danced in the moonlight. Mary coughed. Mary fidgeted with her very expensive bracelet, made of pure platinum and more diamonds. Mary twiddled her thumbs.
Leffie Trinket suddenly walked through the door. "Let's watch the reaping recaps….." Leffie suggested. Mary's dress sparkled more than ever before and for no reason became pink. "That's a wonderful idea Leffie!" Mary turned on the TV, and saw the District 1 reaping…..Shimmer Shiney, age 18, did a little happy dance when she was reaped, as she was going to volunteer. Her pure gold-and-silk dress glowed slightly as she flounced up to the stage, her long blond hair trailing behind her (sound familiar? All Career reapings must be described, along with the reaping of an equally pathetic Sue or Stu from a poor District. The rest of the tributes will rarely be mentioned until they die; and of course, Mary knows everyone's name because she's a Sue). The male tribute, Polish Luxur, age 18, calmly volunteered for the wussy 18 year old, and walked up wearing his turquoise tuxedo and spiffy white silk tie. He flourished his three-foot-long saber with an opal-encrusted hilt and solid silver sheath. Mary thought he was a very unfortunate boy.
"Poor Polish! His sword's hilt is only opal-encrusted! How very unfortunate!" Then the District 2 reapings were up….Flint Locke, age 18, ran up to volunteer, her token of 2 katars slung casually over her shoulder. She beamed at the crowd as the male tribute was announced, Fostress Maximilian, age 18, whose token was a semi automatic machine gun with 20 reloads. "Oh that poor boy! He has a mullet!" Mary exclaimed. District 4 was up next…..Porpoise Seafoam, age 18, looked a bit startled as her name was announced, but she bravely walked up to the stage, dragging her gigantic trident (her token). A wussy boy was reaped, but his younger brother, Wallace Grommit, age 18 (yes, 18 is the cutoff, but it was his older-than-him-by-two-minutes twin brother), volunteered for him and placed his token of a pair of tweezers in his pocket. "That boy Wallace has a very dangerous reaping outfit! I should give him money to buy an outfit that doesn't clash!" Mary yelled. It was weird that she should care so much about random psychopaths who would probably kill her during the bloodbath, but neither Stewart nor Leffie commented on this. Jayfinch had already drunk so much that he had sustained alcohol poisoning and was taken to emergency medical care by a Capitol attendant. All of the other kids who were reaped except for the Careers were twelve years old. Nobody thought this was unusual in any way. Mary remembered every single tribute's name, and happily danced in front of the gazillion mirrors in the room she conveniently walked into. "I love you Stewart…..Do Do do doo…..I love you too…..Do do do de….. I love you Stewart…De do do…..You're just like me…..I love your bellybutton….. Dum Dum dutton…. Cute as a button…Do do do….I love your arm….De Do Do Darm…. Like chicken pram…Do do do….I love your pancreas….de do do dad….It gives me happiness…do do do…..I love your esophagus…..de de de…Unlike ring rot fungus…..do do do…..Love your appendix….do do de…Your hot genetics…I love your throat….do do de ed… It's-so-much-better-than-this-crappy-fanfic-that-the-authors wrote….de de de do….I love your thumb…..do do do do…What the heck is gmbh?…do do do de….I love your fingernails…..do do do do…..Just like your toenaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiils!" Mary sang perfectly on pitch in her sweet dulcet voice. Over. And over. And over again. She continued to conveniently sing for the duration of the train ride. She used her ninja-Sue powers to see that Stewart was singing almost the EXACT SAME SONG! Creepy, much?