Mary teleported Stewart, Glinda, Bertram, and herself to the Cliche Cave. "The power of love is all we need to survive!" Mary shouted to the heavens.
It immediately started raining fat-free blueberry muffins. "The power of love…..has taken the form of these delicious and nutritious muffins!" Stewart shouted to the heavens.
Mary used her telepathic Sue 'curse' to check on the bloodbath. She saw that three of the tributes had been casually murdered by their comrades. This didn't bother her much, since she could bring them back as adorable furry animals. What did bother her was that each of the fallen tributes was bleeding a different color. And all the colors clashed horribly! Wallace Grommit, the poor unfortunate tribute who had brought the deadly token of a pair of tweezers was missing their head, and was bleeding a gharish shade of purple. One of the bags of burning coal that was replacing the District 11 tributes who didn't show up was split open, bleeding neon orange. Jackson McJacksonson, a tribute from District 7 just sorta died because it was convenient for the plot. He was bleeding a dreadfully normal shade of red. "Gasp! Stewart! The dead tributes' blood all clashes!" she cried.
"Don't fret, my love, it isn't their fault. Now come, let us resurrect the fallen as adorable woodland creatures!" The dead tributes were changed into cute, fluffy rabbits right before the claw took them away. The adorable bunnies hopped away, but Porpoise Seafoam tried to stab the wascally wabbits with her trident, which then proceeded to shoot deadly rainbow colored lasers from their eyeballs. Porpoise Seafoam started to slowly melt away, a look of horror plastered on her face. When she was fully melted, the bunnies started to roll about in the liquified human and grew ten feet tall. The giant bunnies began to search for another victim, but Mary's melodious thoughts held them at bay with their pretentiousness.
Mary and Stuart proceeded to have a cliche make out session in the Cliche Cave. For the rest of the Hunger Games. But wait! What are Bertram and Glinda going to do now you may ask? Well, they're obviously going to transform into a giant barrier shaped like a bowl of grapes. The grapey barrier kept all of the tributes out, and Mary and Stewart used their telepathic Sue 'curses' to observe the others.
The Careers had all gathered about the Cornucopia, and were distributing the items strewn on the ground. Polish Luxur was wearing the body of a bloodbath tribute as a cloak. Mary knew that he would be the last one of them to fall. The other Careers were all doing the macarana as they burned the other corpses. The wreckage of the claw lay next to the bonfire, so Mary knew that she couldn't leave any of her victims' dead bodies laying about. "I know!" Mary exclaimed in between her passionate kisses, "I'll transform all of the people I gracefully murder into shoes! I can send the shoes to needy children in all 15 Districts!"
Two Districts came out of nowhere and tributes from the new Districts teleported into the arena, where they were promptly killed by the Careers.
Some of Mary's triangular colored hair got in between her and Stewart. She focused her neon orange eyes on it as she swept it back with her elegant hand. Stewart paused for a moment, also fixing his metallic pink hair. Mary locked her neon orange eyes on Stewart's borange eyes and they saw everything that they had ever done in their entire lives during those few seconds. Mary saw the long hours of grueling whistling practice that had happened only a couple of days ago along with the time his shirt hadn't matched his eyebrows. Stewart saw some of her abusive past, and they both started weeping their diamond tears over each other's painful pasts.
During this long and boring 'exposition', the other tributes were busy trying to not die. Most of them were failing miserably. Several of them had been killed by the Career wearing the bloodbath tribute's body, Polish Luxur, who was now wearing rings made from the thumbs of everybody he had killed on each hand. Mary decided to put a stop to his garish fashion sense by using the power of love to strike only his clothes with lightning. Polish Luxur screamed, as the lightning had gotten rid of everything made out of human carcasses and replaced it with silly bands. The silly bands proceeded to burn with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, branding Polish Luxur's flesh with images of each and every silly band, arranged to spell out 'Saved by a Sue'. The burns were so bad that the Career was slowly cooked alive. The tribute who the Career had been throttling, Dumbicus Namius, gave a silent prayer of thanks to Mary.
Due to the prayer of thanks, Mary was compelled to beam a message across the sky with her rainbow vision in gigantic letters made of food that would rain upon all the hungry people of panem. It said, "Kimiya Mary Ice Cream Lexi Starling Kitty Jessamine Currant Flourish Kryptonia Titian Lilly Sue Chyna Rosalinda Germaine Darling Bertha Ursula Jenn Brianne Quetzalcoatl Aspen Birch Mahogany Ebony Raven Tara Way Lyn Clair Desiree Rene Charlene Pollyanna Guadalupe Maritisu the one and only is just like everyone else and is not to be prayed to. Neither is Stewart Manly Curtis Devon Bobert Fredrick Leo Innocent Gregory Urban Pious Martin Francis Benedict John Paul Richard Ignatius Loyolla Jynx Raichu Ash Oak Edward James Charles Napoleon Louis Henry Jesse George Ringo Doris Marion LaDean Yikyik Belkar Raymond Quincy Daigo Hernando Utopia Stievedly. Enjoy this free food! Love, Mary and Stewart. PS: In your face, Ecstatic Prissyface Candy-Muffin!"
The people of Panem were overjoyedly delighted at Mary's tremendous display of humility, generosity, and slightly justified gloating. They held festivals in her honor across the country and she and Stewart attended them all at the same time they were in the arena just because they could, even though that had been the exact opposite result of what the message was supposed to do. Bertram and Glinda were the special guests of honor, although Jayfinch and Leffie questioned whether Mary and Stewart had begun to treat the "rocks" as beings superior to humans. They were completely right. Nothing mattered more to them than Bertram and Glinda (except for the safety of every living molecule in Panem, and some unliving ones, but that was "equal" in importance).
Glinda felt important, glittery, humus-filled, jiggly, pink, hard, soft, blue-ish, moist, attractive, redundant, humble, cheese-like, brick-shaped, luminescent, delightful, astounding, kool, amazing, beauteous, gigantic, swanky, quizzical, zany, xenophobic, vibrant, cow, frightfully super, fortunate, firey, woody, interactive, friendly, hungry, wondrous, glassy, dog-like, better than Bertram (who had recently fallen in the pudding), and many other things that cannot be described with mere words.
Back in the arena, Maple Fencely had stumbled upon the most terrifying creature the arena had to offer. Even worse, it did not seem particullarly interested in killing him. Its cry was the most dreadful thing that he had ever heard in his life. It sounded like several cats being run over by a steamroller, with AUTOTUNE. Justin Bieber v7683 was singing along to the original Justin Bieber's music. The Capitol had recognized the terrifying power of the Biebs, and had been cloning him for millions of years. Maple Fencely's ears were just beginning to bleed as he ran away from the abomination. But Bieber v7683 wasn't done with him yet. To Maple's horror the clone had thrown a microphone at him, the cord wrapping around his legs, and was pulling him back.
"Nooooooo!" Maple screeched with the terror of a thousand burning wallabees. He grabbed a nearby stick and stabbed himself in the side with it until he died. Mary and Stewart could have saved him, but they decided to be merciful and let him commit suicide. If Maple hadn't died, he would be having extremely powerful flashbacks of the terrifying event that had befallen him. Mary's mercy was all that stood between Maple and a life of insanity.
Author's Note: Another year of high school... and I'm not dead yet. Yeah, this update took forever. Maybe we'll finish before I go off to college. Just kidding, there will be one more chapter of this story, and then it reaches its horrifying conclusion. Thanks for reading!