All of the unimportant ugly people died whilst Mary was staring into the luscious, auburn eyes of her lover. Stewart returned the blonde teenage girl's gaze steadily. "Is something wrong, love?" he asked in a tentative voice, noticing that the intensity of her gaze had slightly lowered to the white hot intensity of nine hundred and ninety-nine suns.
"The- p-poor… u-ugly p-p-p-people!" Mary sobbed. "Of course, they will live on forever in everyone's memories and their families are now rich and famous thanks to my efforts, but they n-never g-got the ch-chance to be p-p-pretty!" she wailed.
"There there, love, when they gaze upon their new beauty in your wondrous afterlife we created for them they will forget their ugliness forever and bask in the glow of beauty."
"Oh Stewart, you always know what to say." the teenage girl said as she lost herself in her lover's jolly thoroughfare elevator-colored eyes. They could only match his angelic bicycle-colored hair if he was perfectly perfect in every perfect way. And he was. Mary was so glad that her dearest beloved was just as perfect as she was.
Suddenly something happened to remind them that yes, they are in fact in an arena. The Capitol anthemn played over the speakers along with a message from President Frivolious Maxima Poison-Viper. "Attention Sues." President Frivolious Maximus Poison-Viper's voice boomed all across the arena. "Turns out, having two victors is stupid and always leads to trouble, plotholes, OCs, and the like, so one of you needs to die (overdramatically, I'm sure) so that the Games may go on forever. If one of you does not die, then you both will be mercilessly murdered in a public execution along with everyone you know and love. Good evening, and may the odds be ever in your favor."
Mary gasped. Stewart gasped. The entirety of Panem gasped. Since the Sues loved every living breathing thing in Panem, it would be like the end of all life on earth! Building would crumble! Forests would wither! Fine cheeses would go to waste!
Stewart turned towards Mary and prepared to commit suicide for his love. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Mary shouted to the heavens, "STEWART! WAIT!" Stewart stopped himself from spontaniously combusting as he heard the voice of his sassafrass-eyed, alarm-haired beautyd. He looked deep into her eyes as she spoke.
"Stewart. Let me be the one to die. There are so many people who love you, who need you to carry on after my death. My family and uber-best friend died and now you're the only one who loves me. Nobody ne-" Mary was cut off by Stewart.
"Mary, you've got it all wrong. I still need you, I still love love, I couldn't even last a second without you. Without you by my side, I wouldn't be a Sue anymore. I'd just be a sad little girl named Linda. Let me, my love. Let me be the one to nobly sacrifice myself for the good of all life." Now Mary was at the brink of tears.
"Stewart, I know that you want to protect me, but you can't stop me from doing this. Look, there was a prophecy from a long lost civilization that was written on a graham cracker about what needs to be done here. I found it one day as I was skipping through a plothole. I memorized it, and it said '... the sky will be darkened by the wings of many bats and when the hour of the beast comes the evil one will reveal his true form. Angels will shoot arrows of hope and light at the loved ones of those they were sent to protect and a miracle will happen.'" Mary stated eloquently.
"Are you sure that's the right prophecy?" the Fanfic Police glared at Mary.
"Of course." she replied.
The Fanfic Police exploded because of just how right she really was. Of course Mary was right. She's Mary. Stewart is Stewart and Glinda is Glinda. Don't you see now? This paragraph is a huge waste of time.
"Look!" Mary pointed at the sky. "It's still darkened with the wings of many bats!" And time changed so that it was so. "And it was 6:06:06 when President Frivolius Maxima Poison-Viper revealed his true form!" Every clock in the world changed to the appropriate time. "Bertram and Glinda are obviously the angels, and we're obviously the loved ones of those they were sent to protect, since they were sent to cleanse and purify the world and we're the only known beings to be beloved by the entire world!"
Stewart was taken aback by just how much sense that really made. Bertram and Glinda changed into angels with bows and arrows, preparing for what needed to be done. All of Panem held its breath in anticipation. Mary and Stewart held hands as they were pierced by the arrows of hope and light. A great light flashed up from the arena and suddenly the world of Panem was changed forever.
The citizens of the Capitol realized that it was wrong to make others work for them and the District people realized that hey, they didn't have to produce everything while living in poverty so Panem became a socialist society where all were equal, everyone had their own share of the luxuries and labor, and President Frivolius Maxima Poison-Viper ruled forever as its benevolent dictator. It was all peaceful and happy and altogether quite boring. The Games still went on, but these had become an honor for everyone involved and anyone killed in them would be taken to Maradise, a heaven only accessible to former tributes. And almost everyone lived happily ever after. The end.
Author's Note: Finally got around to finishing this thing. Wonder where that prophecy bit came from... anyways, the real miracle is that this finally ended without me having to make another Christmas special. How did this take almost three years to write again? Oh yeah, 'cause I'm lazy. So thank you to everyone who's stuck through this monstrosity that barely ever updated, read the terrifying holiday specials, and hasn't sent me any death threats over the internet.
Special thanks to everyone who reviewed this from start to finish, and... I bet hermanita thinks she's getting thanked here too. Well, she's wrong, since we live in the same house and I can thank her anytime I feel like it. Hope this ending was satisfying, and a Mary Hanukwanzmas to all!