A/N: As you know, this story is supposed to span a weekend. So this chapter starts on Saturday night and ends Sunday night. I will likely continue with their return to New York but not much more after that. This chapter definitely brings to light issues for the main four (CB DS) and clears up some lingering questions about previous references. It's a fast moving story, but DB also dated for almost two years which means their feelings can be recognized more easily now. I hope you enjoy it, but if you don't that's okay! My stories always completely change from my original idea (unintentionally), but I've enjoyed the angsty direction of this one.

The song No One's Gonna Love You is perf for Dair, everyone should listen to it, and the book quote is from A Farewell to Arms.

If you can't tell from this chapter, I love writing confused and in love puppy dog Dan.

Also, this chapter serves as a reason why the story is rated M.

She would stay home with him when he wrote sometimes. She was usually quite distracting, flaunting around in her La Perlas while making breakfast or pouring him another cup of coffee.

She liked watching the smile spread across his lips as he looked up at her, complaining about how much work the still had to do.

"I'll give you something to write about," she whispers in his ear, a hand trailing down to the waistband of his boxers.

"Blair-" he breathes. He means to say more, but with her hand wrapped around him he's at a loss for words.

"I used to think about you sometimes, back before we were friends."

"We were-" he's cut off by a groan as her hand slides up and down slowly, "We were friends?"

Her laugh rings through his ear and brings an easy grin to his face, "It was innocent at first. I just thought about your touch. I imagined your hand sliding up under my shirt, resting behind my neck, stroking my inner thigh."

His head falls back against her shoulder as he licks his lips, picturing his lonely high school self feeling up Blair Waldorf.

"Then after NYU and Dorota's wedding, the thoughts started to get dirtier."

She waits a few minutes to continue, just working him carefully until he says,

"Tell me."

"When I was in Paris with Serena, she'd spend some nights out of the room. I'd lay in bed wondering what it'd be like to have Dan Humphrey for one night. I'd push my underwear aside and rub my clit gently, thinking about what was underneath your hideous clothing."

"Dirtier," his voice is deep and it sends a shiver through her spine.

"I liked to think about you in old run down bars, pinning me against a bathroom stall, my fingers sliding in and out of myself secretly wishing it was you, wishing you were fucking me against that cold metal, thrusting in and out of me roughly."

"Blair, I- Fuck."

"Then I'd arch my back, squeezing my eyes shut as I'd come with your name on my lips."

He groans loudly, pulling her onto his lap hastily and letting a few fingers slide into her. A soft moan gets buried against his neck.

"Blair Waldorf," he mutters into her ear, "everything I hate about the Upper East Side," she tilts her head back, sucking in her bottom lip as his thumb moves against her clit at an achingly slow pace, "doe-eyed," her teeth dig into her lip as she smiles at him through hazy eyes, "bon mot tossing," he feels her hand reach to stroke him again, "label whoring-" her finger nails dig into his shoulder as she steadies herself, hips grinding into his hand. She comes in a series of short little breaths and he swallows them in a kiss while she finishes getting him off, "package of-," his breath hitches as her lips touch his jaw, her hand moving far too quickly for him to focus.

She doesn't let him finish the sentence.

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"Blair," his hand shakes her shoulder gently before she jumps awake.

"Dan?"

"You fell asleep out here I guess. It's almost 2 am." His soft eyes force a small smile from her as she pushes herself up from the couch.

She couldn't sleep in bed with Chuck. His phone was glued to his hand until he fell asleep with his arms wrapped around her so tightly that she couldn't move in any direction. She had walked down to the living room around 10 and must've fallen asleep reading.

"What are you still doing up?" she asks quietly, eyes adjusting to the dim lighting.

"I don't sleep much these days."

It's evident from the dark circles under his eyes and the weary look he's been wearing the past couple days.

"One more day, right? Then we'll all go home and you and Serena can go back to planning your wedding."

"Right."

They're both silent and she swears her ears are ringing. It's a dull silence that she wants to break, but fears it'll just annoy him.

"I'm sorry for that stuff I said the other night," his voice is barely above a whisper as he continues scribbling on the piece of paper in front of him, "You know I just want you to be happy."

"Friends?" she raises her eyebrows, probably a bit too hopefully.

He doesn't respond, just stares at the paper in front of him pensively.

"I never wanted to hurt you," she says quietly.

Dan nods, closing his eyes to reflect on the past two years, "I know," he says, "but you did."

She looks at him carefully, the detailing of his face, his delicate lashes, the way his hand slides across the paper as he writes. It's graceful, and yet, rugged and distraught.

"Writing sonnets about your effervescent blonde goddess?" She doesn't mean for it to come out bitter, but somehow it does.

"I don't write those much anymore."

"Why not?"

"I'm not in high school anymore."

And they leave it at that.

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"Will you marry me?"

Her eyes fill with tears as she leans down to press a kiss against his lips.

"Yes," she kisses him again, "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes."

He loves seeing her like this. It's the reaction he always wanted, the one he needed. Her blonde hair falls into his mouth and he pulls it out clumsily before standing.

As he stands to face her, Serena's smile gleams back at him in the sunlight.

He proposes on the Met Steps, and the whole thing gives him a fucked up sense of deja vu.

I thought you should get to feel like a princess one last time.

"Are you sure about this?" She asks, and it's so genuine that it kind of makes him hate himself since the decision was completely impulsive. The ring on her finger makes his stomach do a small flip as he nods and tells her he's sure.

In reality, he should've seen it coming. Serena always said they were forever, maybe she was right.

Their spending the past few months together was very eye opening for Dan. He started re-thinking being done with women altogether. Blair was back with Chuck and that meant he had to move on too. For good.

The problem with that was, he couldn't take opening himself up to rejection from a new relationship. While choosing Serena may have been a selfish choice, at least it was also making her incredibly happy.

And yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that she'd come back. Brown curls and dark apologetic eyes, standing in the doorway of the loft the way she always had. Maybe it was wrong for him to still think that way, but it wasn't as though he could control it.

The worst part of it all is that knew, on the off chance that she did return to him, he would probably forgive her.

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They all decide to go out for their last night up north. While the local bar is different from their normal taste, it seems like a fun way to spend time as a group before they all go back to living their separate lives downtown.

Dan collides with Blair in the hallway and she looks so beautiful he has to catch his breath before he can speak. She's wearing the same dress she wore their first night in Italy. He can still remember the plum colored skirt swinging in the breeze as she walked down the beach, her entire back exposed in a deep V.

Her pale pink lips curl into a smile as she pushes past him politely to walk back to her room. He watches her until she turns the corner inside.

Serena greets him in a short red dress that is equally appealing, but on entirely different levels.

"You look nice," she grins, her lips painted a deep red to match her dress. He notes that in his flannel shirt, he'll probably fit in quite well at the bar.

Chuck and Blair are the last to arrive due to another argument about a merger between Bass Industries and Waldorf Designs. Chuck insists it's the best thing for both companies, and their relationship. Blair just seems against it because it upsets him. Either way, they show up with plastered smiles just the same.

Dan sits at the bar with a whiskey sour. He's not much of a dancer, and Serena seems to be getting along just fine without him. Carter's arm rests lazily around her waist as they sway freely to the music.

"Buy me a drink, Humphrey," her small frame slides into the stool next to him.

"Buy your own, Waldorf."

She keeps glaring at him so eventually he orders her a gin and tonic and slides it over to her hand, careful not to spill.

He looks at her out of the corner of his eye and is reminded just how perfectly the dress compliments every part of her. It's not the greatest feeling.

"Bass Industries and Waldorf Designs, huh?"

The whiskey gives him the courage to ask.

"It's never going to happen. My mother finds the whole thing far too risky."

"How so?"

Blair takes a deep breath and brings her gaze up to meet his, "She says we're too unstable for such a big commitment."

While Dan expects the words would make him happy, instead he just wonders why she's even with him. He will never understand how Blair can continue returning to a relationship that makes her miserable. He can see just how vulnerable the statement makes her so he quickly thinks of a response,

"Well that's just how you two are, isn't it?"

Two wrongs make a twisted right.

"I guess. I don't know," her eyes are hurt and he reaches for her hand but quickly retracts when he realizes his movement, "I thought I needed dysfunction in a relationship for it to be right. I thought Chuck understood my dark side more than anyone, but I'm starting to think I was wrong. About all of it."

Dan leans back on his stool, his elbow resting on the bar as his gaze moves from her eyes down to her lips and back up again.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought Chuck was the only person who saw the real me, no matter how much you tried, I didn't think you would ever fully get me. You wrote Inside, about Clair Carlyle, who was everything I wanted to be in high school. But that wasn't actually me. I thought I was some sort of illusion to you, that you couldn't love what I was really like," She closes her eyes for a moment, moisture gathering on her lashes, "But the more I look back on it, the more I see that I was never more myself than when I was with you."

Dan recalls his first proposal, when he told her that he was never more himself than when they were together, and it was the truth. He just wished she could've seen the same was true for herself earlier.

"Blair, I-" he takes a breath, "I don't know what you want me to say."

The music stops and No One's Gonna Love You by Band of Horses begins playing throughout the bar.

"I know it's too late now. I just thought you should know." She stands from her seat and extends her hand for a dance.

Dan rolls his eyes because she knows how much he hates dancing, but she would always force him anyway. As they make their way to the dance floor he notices Serena and Nate whispering and laughing in the corner. He wants to care, but as Blair's body moves into his he can't.

"I'm surprised Serena's doppleganger survived this entire trip," Blair whispers into his ear, laughing lightly.

"You don't like Stacey? I think she's nice."

Blair grins as her hand gently squeezes his side, "I'm pretty sure her name is Rebecca and you haven't said one word to her this whole weekend."

"That's because I've had you following me around like a lost puppy all weekend."

They both laugh and Dan feels himself pulling her closer against him. He knows Chuck, Serena, Nate, whoever are probably all watching them but he doesn't care. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to have her in his arms, smiling up at him in the most beautiful way. His fingers glide up and down her back gingerly as her gaze flickers down to his lips.

Okay, no.

"But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do"

"Blair, listen-"

"Humphrey, thanks for keeping her warm for me. I can take over now," Chuck cuts in between them smugly and reaches for Blair's hand.

"Really? The song isn't even over yet," he feels really immature for saying that, but the point still stands.

"No, but the dance is."

Blair looks incredibly annoyed but Dan knows she won't do anything so he just decides to walk away. Before he can, Chuck grabs his arm firmly.

"I have to say, I was worried about her, spending all that time with you abroad. I was afraid you'd change her for the worst, but I must say, Humphrey," he takes a moment to meet his gaze with Dan's, "she's even more of an animal in bed than before."

He doesn't even know how it happens but his fist is colliding with Chuck's jaw in a fit of anger. His whole body is burning and he desperately needs air. He glances at Chuck, pushing himself up from floor, laughing at the scene he'd just caused.

Blair's eyes are watery and apologetic and he just needs to not be there.

Dan makes his way through the crowd of people and out the door into fresh air.

"Dan!" Serena grabs for his hand as he storms down the sidewalk and he whips around, taking a deep breath.

"Serena, I'm sorry. I just need to be alone right now."

"Too bad," she ignores his request of silence, "I felt so guilty for forcing you to come on this trip. I knew you didn't want to go, but I made you because I thought it'd be good for our relationship. Clearly this trip was a mistake," she takes a breath, "but it's not the only mistake, is it?"

Her hands fall on her hips firmly and he can tell she already knows the answer to her question, just needs to hear him confirm it.

"No, the trip was not the only mistake."

"I see the way you look at her, Dan. Even when I'm sitting right next to you, I don't even think you realize you're doing it half the time."

"Serena-"

"I tried to be okay with it, because I knew you hadn't seen her in a year so it was probably just hard for you. But tonight, the look on your face when you danced with her…"

She trails off to wipe her eyes and sniffles slightly, her firm posture weakening.

"Are you still in love with her?"

Dan buries his face in his hands. He thought he could get away from it, that the more he pretended it wasn't there, the more it would go away. But the weekend brought everything back full force. He feels defeated. He rubs his eyes roughly with his palms before opening his eyes to look at her again.

"Yes. But that doesn't mean-"

"Here," Serena yanks the ring off her finger and places it in his hand, "We both know it was never mine."

Then she walks back inside and leaves him out on the empty sidewalk alone. For the first time in awhile, he doesn't mind being by himself.

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The second time Dan proposed was at Harold's birthday party. In front of about thirty people, he poured his heart out to Blair only to have her tell him she'd think about it. Needless to say he was getting used to the rejection.

Blair's out shopping when he gets a call from Lucia about a party for the writers program. The open bar isn't something they would pass up.

He fumbles through the counter drawer for a pen to take down the address, shuffling through papers and knick knacks until a card goes fluttering to the floor. He can't quite make out the picture so he kneels down to get a closer look.

The Empire State Building.

His heart is slamming against his rib cage as he turns it over and reads the words,

"I'll be waiting this time."

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"What is wrong with you?" Blair shoves him even after he's regained balance, "Why would you say that to him?"

"You told me it was over. That there was nothing between you two anymore." Chuck holds his jaw in pain, but keeps himself close to her body.

"What's your point?!"

"My point," his voice rises, pulling her off the dance floor, "is that what I saw wasn't nothing. Everyone could see it! Do you honestly think I'm that big of an idiot?"

Blair looks around to see all of her friends gossiping quietly, pointing at them and exchanging glances.

"No," she says quietly, "I don't."

"I thought this was what you wanted! I thought this was your fairytale."

"You and I, we were never a fairytale, Chuck."

And finally, she figures it out. Everything becomes clear.

Her mind flashes through scenes from the past few years of her life.

You'll still have me / Always / I meant what I said, whatever you need, I'm here for you / I want more, I want you / I couldn't stand to see you so unhappy / Our relationship is our world / That girl is fiercely strong, independent, outspoken, beautiful, capable of anything / I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you / I'm in this for the long haul / I'm never more myself than when I'm with you / My book ends with you and me / I've already made my choice…and it's you

"I figured it out," she says, more to herself than anyone.

"What?"

"He told me to figure out what I want. I figured it out."

Chuck smirks but a certain sadness rests in his eyes as he comes to the conclusion that it's not him.

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"Read my favorite part," She nuzzles against his shoulder gently.

"Blair, you have like seven favorite parts in this book."

"You know which part," her voice is firm as she curls into his body slightly, making herself more comfortable. Dan's already on the page.

"Maybe…you'll fall in love with me all over again."

Dan glances down to notice that Blair is mouthing the words with him as he reads.

"Hell," I said, "I love you enough now. What do you want to do? Ruin me?"

Her eyes stay closed and a small smile rests on her lips as she says aloud,

"Yes. I want to ruin you."

"Good." Dan replies, "That's what I want too."