Light and Dark
The woman had dressed and was now looking at the Doctor. He was also looking at her, frozen, mesmerized and somehow confused. He opened his mouth and raised his hand, but now words came out, only a short sigh.
"Well do you like it?" he finally managed saying.
"Do I like what? The dress?" she asked, her eyes still on him. "Does it matter?"
"No. Yes, I want you to feel comfortable. I mean no, what do I care about a dress," he shook his head. "Look, it's the first time I am speechless in…many years."
"You don't sound really speechless to me, just confused," she shrugged and it seemed to him that she was slightly amused.
"Are you always so taunting?"
"Are you always so… not brilliant?" she crossed her arms.
"Actually I am always very brilliant."
"I know that."
"But you look so… alive!"
"Doctor, I am alive and you know it very well."
"Of course I do, but not like this!" he pointed at her and then jumped down the stairs. He approached her and looked long at her. "Why red hair?" his eyes narrowed as he waited for an answer.
"Are we going to talk about my hair now? Because I am going right back into my heart if we are going to chit-chat."
He was surprised by the answer, but she arched her eyebrow unimpressed.
"All right, no more stupid babbling. Can you leave the TARDIS? Because I will take you somewhere. Anywhere! Where do you…"
"Doctor, I am not one of your companions," she interrupted him.
"What's wrong in being my companion?"
"Nothing, I am just not one of them. And you can't ask me if I can leave the TARDIS, as I am the TARDIS," there was a smile on her lips.
"So I call you that? TARDIS?"
"No, call me the Driver."
He looked at her confused. She smirked.
"You're making fun of me," he finally concluded. "It amuses you that I am confused! Can I hug you?"
"What?" she blinked a few times.
"Now you are confused!" he said entertained, approaching her.
"Get away from me!" she warned him, taking a step back.
"Oh come, come here you old, fantastic ship!" he said tickled, embracing her.
"Old?!" she said annoyed, waving her hands in the air.
"Yes, you are a brilliant ship!" he grabbed her shoulders looking at her.
"You said old!"
"No I didn't," he shook his head, stiffening a little.
"I don't care," she smirked again.
The Doctor dropped his shoulders, relaxing. He hugged her again, and she let out a small squeaky, disagreeing sound.
"Doctor, ships are not meant to be hugged."
"But you are not a ship anymore. You are here in flesh and bones. What are you, after all? Human or…" he started turning her and looking at her from every point.
"I'm just an image, inside I am still me. Now stop it," she backed up.
"You're beautiful, that's what you are!" he concluded.
"Of course I am, I have always been beautiful! All TARDIS are perfect!"
"Well, I didn't say perfect."
"Oh do you have complains? Should I write them down and ignore them later?"
"Can you write?"
"I can fly you through space and time and you think I can't write?"
"Well, you've never written me anything."
"I'll send you a postcard next time," she said as she walked back to the control panel.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Going back. You're more alive than ever, my work here is done," her eyes started glowing.
"Wait, wait, wait!" he ran after her, grabbing her arm. "Don't go, yet. You're one of the most magnificent encounter I have ever made. Stay a little longer."
"What does a little longer mean to you?"
"I don't know. A hundred years?"
"And what do a hundred years mean to you? You travel through billions of years in one second."
He looked at her intrigued.
"You don't have the concept of time…I mean regular time. You only fly through time which means…you don't know time. Like animals, or creatures without conscience. That's fantastic!" he said thrilled.
She rolled her eyes, annoyed.
"I don't have any need of a clock. You sleep, brush your teeth, and meet people for a given amount of time. Your own personal time. I don't need that. But it doesn't really make me a…fox or anything else."
"A fox, I like that!"
"And you are like an oxford comma," she looked at him amused.
"Now, that's something no one has ever called me. A little, full of contradiction comma. And still so essential for some!"
"You are essential for this universe just that most don't understand how much. Half of them don't even know you exist."
"You're brilliant!" he said ecstatic, running around again. He was close to the door.
"Don't open that!" the woman said quickly. "Don't open the door; I'm keeping you safe in here."
"What? Keeping me safe from…oh," he realized and sat on one of the chairs.
"Precisely," she said sitting next to him. "You stopped half away. Made the ship leave, but never gave her a destination. We're …'hung' in space. I'm programed for such happenings, but a body can't handle it. Not even the one of a Time Lord."
"I can't just give you a command to land somewhere as you don't have a point from where to leave. This is why you are actually still here."
"We'll figure it out," she pressed her lips together.
He puffed a little and smiled. She looked at him intrigued.
"Usually it's me figuring it out."
"And sometimes I'm rescuing you sorrow ass," she also smiled.
"Excuse me, lady, where did we get such a colorful vocabulary?" he said amused.
"Well, you develop one when you get hit all the time on the head with a hammer!"
"Right…my bad…"
She looked at him as his mind drifted away.
"It's hard to keep up with six minds…" she sighted.
"Six…"
"They were all brilliant minds…all six of them. And one of them would have known how to solve this situation. After all the six had all different knowledge, knowledge you had to absorb and handle by yourself."
"Yes, one of them would have known…but it's not me," he sighted and stretched his back looking at the ceiling of the ship.
"So what…you're giving up now?" she looked at him in golden colors.
"No! Of course not!" he replied.
She smiled comforting and he liked that.
"It's kind of empty, isn't it? Without them, without the other pilots. This ship used to be so alive," he shrugged.
"You are the one who gives it life. You are so full of life…somehow I have never felt anyone being like…you."
"Neah, all of my companions were full of life."
"They were…but none quite as you. But they were always what you needed: to be brought back to life, to be reminded of the beauties of this universe. Only reminded, all believes are yours."
"Mhm…I don't know. They come and go, they are humans. And in the end loneliness is what remains behind. It didn't used to be like this when we were six."
"In those times I didn't comprehend the concept of loneliness."
"Of course, because there was none."
"No, that's not it. Actually it was the intensity of your feelings which taught me loneliness, grieve, happiness and even love. You're the last Time Lord, I am the last TARDIS. There isn't one mechanic out there who can fix me, I had to deal with everything myself. And in doing so, I became…well, I guess evolve."
"You feel…my feelings?"
She shrugged and looked at him.
"But you have all our knowledge, right? You know everything I do and everything the six pilots and every mechanic does. So you know how to get us out of here!" he jumped up, running again around the control panel. "You will tell me what to program and how…" he stopped as she wasn't reacting. She was actually staring at him, deep into him.
"Doctor, you run a lot."
"You're not the first one to tell me and…" his words left him. It was not what she had meant.
"Some peace of mind…" she said.
"Just get me out of here!" the Doctor snapped.
He was angry, staring at the control panel. And who was he giving commands to anyway? His ship was sitting right there in front of him, in the form of a woman whispering into his mind.
"Would you like a hammer with those fries?" she broke the silence.
"For crying out…"
"No, you listen to me, Doctor!" her voice was still calm, but colder. She rose and approached him. "You have life in you to feed three, not one, but three TARDIS. You've got life in yourself to make the universe reborn when it's going to die. You got life in you to live forever and go on forever. But everything…everything you have done, everything you lived, loved, sacrificed, every life, everything you had to leave behind is chasing after you and, as fast as I might go, it's right behind you. And instead of turning around and looking it all in the eye, you keep running. You've started dying, Doctor."
"I'm dying?" he asked skeptic.
"Yes, we both are dying."
"Both?"
"You've connected me so much to yourself… you had to be six pilots and once, but as this isn't possible anymore you and I became one. And I am going to keep you alive as long as I have engines to run and fix. You're not dying on me!"
Her eyes looked straight at him and she was so decided, that the universe could have fallen apart in that very second and they would still be drifting into nowhere.
"So get yourself together, because your work isn't done yet. You still have many species to save and a lot of moments in time to change."
He looked at her long, but there was definitely no space to contradict her. And not because of any trace of harshness, but because of the hope and gentleness she was reflecting on her face.
"Is it so wrong to die? Because if it is then I have done a lot of wrong in my life. I have let so many behind to their death," he asked her.
"The life in me doesn't have any concept of wrong and right. But I have learned that fighting for life and what you love is what keeps one alive. I am fine with dying in your own time. But only after I have given you all the life you deserve, all the life I have in me. Only after you see yourself as I see you," she took his hand.
His body approached her involuntarily as his eyes looked into hers. Not only into her eyes, but somewhere deep. He looked at a life, a long one of a being loved, of a being that saved and was saved, he looked at every strand of grass, every molecule still alive because of him, he looked at his soul rotten into darkness and blooming into life. He looked at broken pieces, shattering over and over again, just to form different new forms of lives, new traces of love, new stars and new hope. He looked at hope and pain, at balance. He looked into warmth and it was his warmth.
She closed her eyes and shook her head.
"More would kill you," she spoke silently.
"There is more?"
"There is everything you made me."
"I am this to you?"
"You are this to the universe."
He realized his hand was on her waist that she was in his arms and she was holding him.
"You will feel loneliness in the future as well. But you won't be alone, not as alone as you have been before. And you will always have life, my life. I will find you, in darkness in light," she whispered and her lips touched his into a velvety, embracing kiss. He finally saw the whole universe reflect into him and for a moment the Doctor couldn't trace back any loneliness.
He didn't want to open his eyes because he knew she wasn't there anymore. He knew he wouldn't speak to him again, he couldn't even tell if she had ever been real. She was an image, but one that was now deep imprinted in his mind, one translating into never ending hope.
And as he opened his eyes, there wasn't so much emptiness and loneliness surrounding him.
The TARDIS had landed in a spot in time and space.
Fluffy cheesiness, I know :) Hope you have enjoyed it! Thanks for reading.
