A/N:Thanks for the reviews… and follows. I am soo ready to write more… as usual go ahead and tell me what you think and of course rant away! I want to hear opinions of allegiant, maybe it will help me accept the end. -or not! Five stages of death... Denial (check), depression(check), bargaining(Peter! Drew! Caleb! Evelyn! Marcus! Christina? Maybe Tobias! Anyone but Tris!), anger(CHECK!), acceptance(NEVER!)

Chapter Fifty-three

Tris

The light I turned away from is there calling me. It got brighter and brighter as I walk farther away from it. But it's call isnt as strong and comforting as the voices I hear in the darkness.

"Tris..." a voice in the darkness beacons me. I am compelled to that voice that I want to do everything I can to reach it.

As much I want to find who owns that voice, the light is also getting my attention. I am torn between the light and the dark. Most people usually associate darkness with fear, but i feel braver hiding within the shadows. But at the same time I am drawn to the light, like an insects that are drawn to a fire lighting up a dark room.

I made the mistake of turning around and looking at the bright light. I am slowly walking towards the light but there is a tugging feeling in my gut telling me not to go to the light. That the light isn't the freedom I want, it isn't where I should go because deep inside me I know I fear that light.

Tris, fight for Tobias...a voice awakens me from my trance and I finally see the light for what it is. It may be bright and beautiful but it has a menacing look to it. It made me turn around and start running away from it.

I should fight for Tobias... there is a tiny voice in my head again that is asking, Who is Tobias. but i ignored it. Of course I know Tobias... he's... he's...

But before I could find the answer in my mind. The hair on my back started to stand up, i start having goosebumps and my heart start racing, I'm all of a sudden anxious and scared. I knew what was happening before i could think about it, the light behind me is swallowing the shadows.

I start sprinting to the nearest shadow that hasn't been taken by the light yet. But every step I take the more the light catches up, when my feet hits the shadows the light is right there only a few inches away threatening to swallow me as it did with the darkness around me.

I do no think I can keep up with this any longer. Fatigue is slowly taking over my body. I grow weaker and weaker every second. I feel like giving up and just let the light take me.

The voices in the darkness is slowly fading away, words that I used to hear are now muffled as if they are underwater. No! I wanted to scream but i needed to keep all my strength into running.

She's strong! A voice screams in the darkness.

Yes! I am strong! That voice alone gave me strength to fight. To run away from the light that wants to take me into its menacing embrace.

Tris... come back to me. Please...

and then voices finally got louder to urge me to fight but the thing is the voices aren't in the shadows, they are in my head.

Fight it Tris, fight it for Tobias if not for anyone else! Caleb's voice echoes in my mind.

You said to me that I'll always have you, Tris. So you pull through this... and come back so we can create lots of trouble in the new world that you fixed... I could hear Christina's tears in her voice.

You shouldn't give up... You have a lot of people waiting for you. And I'd only admit this to you because you probably wont remember... but I really don't think your nose is really too big... Cara says guiltily and she laughs but underneath that I could hear sadness in them.

As i hear the voices in my head, I can see their faces fade away from my mind. I know who they are but i can feel them slipping away, leaving me. I try to hold on to the memories but I couldn't focus anymore because it got brighter and brighter that its starting to blind me. I feel weaker. I could feel my soul slowly leaving me, pulling me towards the light. I am so tired of fighting that i stop running and i see the darkness getting smaller and smaller, all hope of going to hiding in the darkness is gone.

I could feel a tear fall from my eyes, "Goodbye," I whisper to the darkness. I really don't know why im sad to let go of the darkness, i know in my heart there was a reason why I wanted to fight the light but I don't have another fight left in me. I am ready to let go... To let the light take me wherever it wants to take me.

And then that is when I heard a voice, a voice that made my heart alive and be filled with hope. I don't want to give up, I want to fight. I want to fight for him... To fight the light, to fight death.

His voice echoed in here and all he had to say was one word. His voice sounds desperate and pleading, that all I have in me wants to comfort him and reassure him. ''Tris..''

My hands tingle from his invisible touch. I want to hold his hand, to touch his face, to remember his face...

I felt my fingers move but when i look down my hands arent moving.

"Tris, come back to me. You can do this; I know you're strong enough to fight this…" His voice echoed in my head. without him knowing, his words give me stregth. He is right, I am stronger than this! I am going to fight this... I am strong!

I realize to win this battle is to believe that I can fight this... to beat the light is to become the shadows that I want to hide in. The only way to do that is as simple and insane as it sounds is to close my eyes. It has to work, and i know it will work. This is the only way I'd come back to them, to come back to him.

I could hear a noise around me, a sound of a steady beep... beep... beep... i focused on that sound until it got clearer and clearer. I feel pain, i feel something. My arms hurt, It hurts to breath and most of all I can feel warm breath on my cheek as if someone is kissing me.

The touch caused my heart to jump and skip a few beats, my body feels tingles around it's tips and again into my cheek. My eyes immediatly opened without my brain telling it to. I stare into the most beautiful dark blue eyes I've ever seen, there is a hint of sadness in them.

"Tris..." he whispers. His voice alone caused my heart to leap out of his chest again, a feeling that confuses me. How can he make me feel this way?

A tear falls from his eyes and into my cheek, he leans down and kisses my cheek, nose, and forehead. "Oh thank god!"

Each time his lips touches my skin, I could feel an electric feel that tingles on the tips of my fingers and my toes making them shiver. As if, his kisses is all my body needs to heal It's wounds. I didn't understand any of this.

I need to focus... I could feel panic bubbling in me, it takes over me clouding my judgment. Even though his touch comforts me and all i want is to hug him back, But there is something tugging at my head saying that i need to get away... I need to keep my head straight and figure out what is going on. A few images started to play in my head but they are too blurry and for me to understand. I blinked a few times to get the images away from my eyelids but the images became more vivid and there are so many of them that my head feels like something is pounding in my brain, and the fact that he is looking at me like I've saved him from his loneliness and demise confused me even more.

I raised my hand onto his chest, once again that touch causes my heart to skip a beat and then raise at the same time that I almost choked on a sob. I push him away from me with what strength I have. When he doesn't move a muscle away from me, I asked him a question that broke his heart and for some odd reason that pain causes my heart to clench in pity. "Who are you?"

But before he could answer the question, the images that I saw a few seconds ago comes at me all at once that I could feel my eyes go back into my head... Images that now i know are memories... they come at me like someone is making me watch a movie but it is played in fast forward...

Ferris wheel, a kiss with someone at the chasm, my hand on a glass holding on to a hand on the other side of it, my hands running on tattoos on someone's back, a young man lifelessly being thrown on the other side of the building as a big boulder hits him on the head, a bullet hitting a young man square between the eyes, a woman falling as bullets hit her body, a man getting shot a few more times in his stomach, another man standing on a ladder getting shot a hundered times and he falls 8 stories below...

and then i could hear gunshots and pain races through me. The gun goes off again, more pain surges though me. The next thing i hear is a scream, a scream that escaped my lips. The sound of it reminds me of someone being tortured... but i feel like it anyway. The images in my head wont stop playing and the more memories escape my brain the more it feels like someone is drilling into my skull and twisting my brain. All I could do is scream, hoping that my screams would block more images from my head... pained images in my mind.

a/n: i know that this is kinda blaa... but i hope you like it... R&R please...