Chapter 6

They brought him back into the tavern, where Killian mumbled something sarcastic at the bartender, through his drowsiness.

"Don't give me that, pirate," said the barkeep, "This isn't an inn. Hair of the dog, then?"

"We'll just sit," said Killian, wincing. "What, the breakfast crowd's not come in yet. Haven't I given you enough business?"

The barkeep shrugged and went about wiping down the other tables.

The old woman had applied to be the new chef. She was indeed from the Dawnlands, but she spoke the common language without a trace of an accent. She was used to cooking for a large family—she'd had a husband, eight sons, five stepsons, all beloved, and all of whom died in the ogre wars. Her widow's pension was regularly overlooked—she suspected, because of her Dawnland appearance, so she wanted to spend her last days adventuring with pirates because she hated the corrupt and immoral kingdom for which her entire family had died.

"Welcome to the crew," Killian told her, with sincere warmth, although his drunken headache might have gotten in the way. As he shook hands with her, he noticed that the thumbs on her hand were set backwards.

"A birth defect," she explained, "I think it helps me roll the noodles that much faster. It's why people here call me Noodler."

The girl dressed as a boy insisted that she was a boy. She had papers.

"Certification... and references," said Killian, raising an eyebrow. "Considering that you're applying for a position on a pirate ship where none would be needed, usually, I'm sure these are excellent. You know…" he looked at Noodler, "No one need disguise themselves, on this crew. Any untoward behavior against one another would be harshly dealt with, in recent events it was especially against dishonorable behavior towards a lass."

"That's admirable," said the girl dressed as a boy, "But I don't see how it would help me. I'm just an ordinary boy. I do hope the references would persuade you see that I have something more to offer than courtesy towards my fellow crewmates."

"Right," Killian said. "Well, you won't need certification, fake or otherwise. The moment you join us, you pledge to make a name for yourself. What's your name, lad?"

"Oliver."

"Welcome aboard."

"It's Polly, really," whispered Noodler to Killian, "But she's insisted upon Oliver from the moment she learned to talk."

The dwarf was next to introduce himself. "Alf Mason," said the gray-bearded dwarf, gruffly.

"What brings you out of the fairy dust mines?" asked Killian.

"He was never in them," said Skylights. "I'm sorry for interrupting. Alfie's my child…with a similar condition that I have, so I'm anxious to send him off. Ship's carpenter is good work, isn't it?"

"A similar condition?" Killian looked from Skylights, the male fairy, to Alf Mason…who must have been, then, a female dwarf. "Is this town dangerous for you both?"

"I'll be fine," said Skylights, "I have magic. And I do have a duty to my godchild…but Alf..."

"I don't take people in out of pity," said Killian.

Foggerty interrupted, "He replaced the rope ladder from the crow's nest with a spiral staircase. Before the others sai-"

Murphy clapped his hand over Foggerty's mouth.

"I'd like to see that," said Killian, without suspicion or sarcasm. He trusted Foggerty's judgment, even if Murphy was being strangely rude to the assistant gunner. "Welcome aboard, Sir Mason. Or Sir Carpenter, it should be. New Master Carpenter. Jukes is demoted to carpenter's mate."

The man in rags introduced himself as Geordie, and he was very anxious to be off before anybody discovered that he wasn't dead.

"And are you dead?" asked Killian, conversationally.

"A few times I was, yes, but it doesn't last," Geordie replied. "I don't know why. It has given me more experience with being a surgeon than I'd like, mind you. I can't make anyone immortal like me, but I've had personal experience patching up a great variety of unfortunate injuries."

At that moment, Charles Turley descended from the stairs.

Killian gave him the side-eye. "I thought the barkeep said that this wasn't an inn."

Turley smiled. "I did him a favor." The smile faded when he saw Geordie.

"You!" the said in unison, Turley with a wide-eyed surprise, Geordie with a snarl.

"New rule," said Killian, "All disputes between our crew members shall be settled by a gentlemanly duel on land. We should write that down and make people sign to agree to it…"

"Jukes can write them," said Murphy. "Other pirates have copies of such contracts. He'd mentioned them before, but us once being the King's navy I admit that we snubbed him."

Charles Turley won the duel with Geordie that would have been to the death, if Geordie had not sewn up and cauterized his own injury.

"Well done. I've met everyone, then," said Killian. "So, let's set sail…"

"Captain," said Murphy, following Killian out the door. "I would re-join your crew, if you'd have me. Now that the curse is gone."

"How did that happen, anyway?" Killian stumbled out to the allyway, trying to remember. There was a woman with dark, curly hair…She beat Teyente in an arm-wrestling match, swore worse than a pirate…Before that, she was looking to sell her grandmother's ring, and Killian's curse compelled him to buy it from her…"That woman who sold me the ring…"

"Got her ring back," Foggerty informed him cheerfully. "Kept your money. She was going to buy food for her family, which Cookson gave for free."

"Where's Cookson?"

"On The Jolly Roger, with the mother, her child, Teyente, Turley, and Chekhov," Murphy said. "Mullins and Jukes went to see a real surgeon in this town. You know, I don't believe Cookson wanted to settle down after all…I mean..." They'd arrived at the harbor. "They've sailed without us. You see?"

At the sight of the empty space where The Jolly Roger had been, Killian narrowed his eyes and set his jaw. "Did Teyente figure that Quartermaster wasn't good enough for him after all? Or did Turley get carried away on an adventure?"

"The mother elected herself Captain Pirate Queen, and got everyone to agree," Murphy reminded him.

"That woman stole my ship!" Killian exclaimed.

"And your red coat, and your dress hat," said Foggerty, who had caught up with them. "Looked quite fine in it, too."

"I'd given it to her," said Killian, "And… she'd drawn a mustache on her face with a charcoal pencil. Then I kissed her." He looked back at his rings. "True love's kiss breaks any curse... Skylights!"

"Please don't kill me, Captain Jones," said Skylights.

"That thief is your godchild, isn't she? You're her godfather, and the pixie dust was to find her true love!'

"I-I thought she'd be with you," said Skylights.

"Well, she's not. We have to find her, and more importantly—my ship! Tell me her name."