The French Mistake : Bizarro World
I do not own the world of Supernatural or any of its inhabitants.
Chapter 4
"Are you two ready to leave? Or would you rather Cas and I left you with a babysitter while we take care of the Skrill?"
Jared gave Jensen a look, then said, "Uh, no, we'll go too, Bobby. Dean and I want to help, right...Dean?" Jared emphasized the name. Feeling comfortable with their characters was due to the 6 years they'd played them. It was the things happening to them now that felt strange.
"Ok, then. Let's move." Bobby picked up a folded piece of paper from the desk, and headed for the door.
"I'll meet you there," Cas said, looking from Dean to Sam and back, confused by the unfamiliarity he sensed when he was near them.
Jensen nodded, trying to half smile. "Right. You'll get there the, uh...angel way. Only way to travel."
Cas gave Dean a sideways glance before vanishing.
"Get a load out, boys!" an irritated Bobby called from the doorway.
Jensen shrugged at Jared, and the two men followed the older man outside. Once out there, they both stopped in their tracks.
"Wow, would you look at that, Jar...Sam." Before them, sat a dark Impala, THE Impala. Not a prop that rarely worked without some sweat and tears on the parts of the prop masters. This was the actual car driven by the Winchesters.
"Isn't she a beauty, J?" Jensen whispered.
Jared ran a hand over the perfectly painted body. "Yeah, man, she is," he said in awe.
Jensen went to the driver's side, excitement in his step. He was finally going to sit behind the wheel of the real Winchester car.
"Hey, why do you get to drive?" Jared asked peevishly.
"Because, Sammy, Dean always drives." He winked at his co-star, and getting in, turned the key. The car started instantly, the engine running in that way all muscle cars run, loud and a bit rough.
From the back seat, Bobby handed Sam a map, pointing to where they were headed. "The nest is here. The moon is full tonight, so if we fail and live, we'll have to wait an entire month to try again. By then, they'll have moved on."
Jared should have been used to playing navigator, but looking at the map meant nothing to him. He turned it this way and that, then flipped it, until, with exasperation, Bobby turned it back over and pointed, "Here, idjit! The nest is here!"
Feeling like a properly chastised child, Jared felt his face go warm, and turned to Jensen, saying, "Go straight ahead 12 miles, then..." Peering more closely at the map, he continued, "...then take a left for 3 miles."
"Ok, here we go," Jensen said, stepping on the accelerator, causing the back tires to kick up pebbles. And off to their destination they went, an experienced hunter and two actors pretending to be hunters.
OoOoOoOoOoOo
Once Jensen, Jared and the real Bobby arrived at the underground cavern, the real Castiel was there, waiting for them. "Driving does take a long time," he said, pointing out the obvious.
"Yeah, well, Cas, I love this car. I will always drive this car. Angel Airlines has got nothing on my baby." For a second, Jensen felt like Dean. He waggled his eyebrows, smiling at Jared, who merely rolled his eyes.
"Get the tools, Dean," Bobby ordered gruffly.
Jensen, followed by Jared, went to the trunk of the Impala, and opening it, inhaled sharply. There he saw a collection of weapons matched only by the trunk of the fake Impala. He picked up a knife, and cried out. "Oww, shit!" He put his finger in his mouth, sucking the blood that appeared on the digit. "Damn thing is real, J!" he hissed.
Jared picked up another large knife, and tried to bend the blade. It didn't budge. "Yeah, not exactly rubber, is it."
Bobby came up next to Jared, and grabbed the duffel that lay in the trunk's corner. "If you guys are waiting for your caddies to get here, forget it. You're on your own."
Jensen shrugged and grabbed some weaponry. Jared picked up the shield, figuring that it would be the most important item, since Bobby and Castiel had been treating it in some way. He examined the piece, marveling in the craftsmanship. Props tended to be haphazardly made, since no one watching the show would ever see them up close. If they looked good on film, everyone was satisfied.
Together, the four men headed for the cavern. Cas took point when they entered. "Be careful of the mouths. They're not poisonous, but they are vicious."
Jensen whispered to Jared. "Do you think we should be doing this? I mean, if we get hurt, the producers will kill us."
"You're assuming we'll be able to get back home."
Jensen looked off into the distance. "I'm counting on it."
Cas interrupted their talk. "Shhhhhh...we're getting near. Keep your eyes open..."
Just then, some thing flew right at Jensen, who ducked just as the creature went over his head. "Damn, what the hell was that!"
"Skrill."Cas responded. The angel held out his hand and the thing burst in flames. "We have to lure them outside."
As Bobby raised the flashlight he had been carrying in his back pocket, the true nature of the creatures was revealed. About a feet across, they looked like some nightmarish combination of a spider and a bat. Worse yet, the body was covered in openings lined with razor-sharp teeth. No matter where the thing touched you, it would have a mouth to bite with.
"Jesus H Christ! What have we gotten ourselves into, J?" Jensen had never felt more afraid in his life.
"I don't know, but duck!" Holding tight to the shield, Jared looked to Bobby for instruction.
Just then, Cas extended both arms, a glowing light filling the chamber. "Run. Now!" he called out, as hundreds of Skrill left their roosting places, and flew toward the four men.
Jared and Jensen looked at each other, and sprinted for the cavern's exit. Feeling the coolness as they reached open air, they stopped. Bobby dropped the duffel and grabbed a sawed-off rifle from it. He began to shoot at individual Skrill as they left the cavern.
Cas took the shield from Jared. "I'll take care of this. Keep them busy."
Both Jensen and Jared reached into the duffel, and took out the shortened rifles. Neither had much shooting practice outside the show, and then, they didn't miss when hitting something was a part of the script. They aimed the rifles at flying Skrill, and were instantly knocked on their butts from the unexpected kick. Both scrambled to their feet.
"It's so much easier on camera," Jared said to Jensen over the noise of the angry Skrill.
"Don't talk. Shoot!" Jared aimed again, this time managing to stay on his feet. He even hit one of the digusting things as it flew over him. Something splashed on him as it exploded from the impact.
Jensen was tackled by one of the creatures, its mouths open and yearning for the taste of human blood and meat. "Hey, I could use some help here!" he cried out. Suddenly the weight was off him as he looked up to see Jared grabbing the Skrill and throwing it to the ground. He thrust a blade into the thing, its legs waving in the darkness.
Bobby called to the angel busy doing calculations. "How much longer, Cas?"
"I need to focus the moon light off the shield over the Skrill flock," the angel said. "The pure, ethereal light energy of the lunar body will destroy the Skrill when reflected off the shield. But if I don't do this just right, all we'll accomplish is making them angrier."
"Well, hurry," Bobby replied.
Jensen continued shooting until he was out of ammo. Throwing the rifle to the ground, he cursed aloud. "Dammit, this is insane. We've got to get out of here."
Jared was having himself a bit of trouble when he slipped on something wet. It was the blood of one of those things. Lying on his back, he tried to shoot when he saw glowing eyes aimed for him. One of the creatures siddled up to Jared, all mouths gaping open, its teeth eager to begin tearing into fresh human flesh. Before it could reach the startled man, something sent it flying.
It was Jensen, standing above his co-star, his hands on the dull end of a crowbar. The legs of the creature waved in the air, indicating it wasn't yet dead. Jensen held out his hand to Jared, who took it, pulling himself up off the ground. Going over to the fallen creature, Jensen lifted the crowbar, and proceeded to maul it until it stopped moving.
"Hey, you're good at that," Jared remarked, smiling in admiration.
Jensen tossed the bloodied crowbar aside. "I've had practice." Seeing the frown on Jared's face, he smiled. "Baseball." Breathing heavy, he looked around to see Castiel holding the shield toward the moon. Adjusting it slightly, he pointed the shield at the Skrill, setting each and every one ablaze in the vast curtain of light reflected off of the ancient artifact. One by one, the Skrill burned until they were nothing but ashes.
Seeing the raised eyebrows of his friends, the angel explained, "Faster and more permanent this way."
Jared thought a moment, and reached out to grab Jensen's shoulder. "Thanks, man. I appreciate what you did. You really saved my life back there."
"Ditto, J." Jensen realized that he and Jared weren't all that different, and when it came down to it, they weren't that different from their characters. Why would they be? They made them what they were, and what audiences had come to love. There had to be some of Dean in Jensen, and some of Sam in Jared as well. The actor who had led a spoiled non-Hollywood existence decided if he could fight beside Jared, and be willing to die for the man, why not be friends with him. He sat down on the grass, wiping his hands on his pants legs.
Jared joined him. "Crazy, huh." He ran his hand through his hair as it fell over his forehead. Purple blood stained his palm. He must have had it all over him. He turned to Jensen who was also covered in the purple goo. The tension in his body needed release, and he found himself laughing so hard, he started coughing.
For a brief moment, Jensen acted as if he were offended, but when he saw Jared's smeared face, he couldn't help but laugh too. Seeing Jared about to run his hand through his goo stained silky strands again, a habit of his co-star's that he hated, Jensen stopped laughing. He said threateningly, "Don't you dare!" Then he realized how ridiculous the motion was, what with Jared's hair matted with purple gunk, and he broke out laughing again, holding his stomach from the ache building there.
The two men lay rolling on the grass, laughing like a couple of kids.
Bobby glanced in confusion, at the nerdy little angel who was always there for them. "Cas, what is up with those boys?"
Cas didn't answer, but he was beginning to wonder himself. Dean and Sam had never seemed so unlike, well, Dean and Sam. But then, they were human, and were bound to have the need to "go crazy", as Dean had said once. Being an angel meant not truly understanding the humans his Father had created. But he knew he would enjoy getting to know them better.
A/N: ok, so I'll be getting back to the basis for this episode. Please stay tuned.