The French Mistake : Bizarro World
I do not own the world of Supernatural or its inhabitants. Things get a bit more serious for the faux Winchester boys.
Chapter 5
Everyone rode back to Bobby's in silence, no one really feeling like doing much talking. Castiel had gone to return the shield to its hiding place in some distant temple in Europe. He was back in 3 seconds, and sitting in the rear seat next to Bobby.
"What took ya so long?" asked the cantankerous older man sarcastically. Of course, Bobby liked Cas, more as time passed, but he couldn't let go of the gruff-old-man persona he had nurtured for so long.
Castiel, for his part, merely gave Bobby one of his I-tolerate-your opinion-because-I-like-you glares. "Now that we've dispatched the Skrill, I need to get back to the important matter at hand. Raphael will be searching for the key."
Jensen glanced over at Jared. He mouthed the word 'the key', his eyebrows practically formed into question marks.
Jared nodded, understanding exactly what Jensen was thinking. The two men had worked together for so long, yet had never taken the time to become intimate friends. Here in this world, they could already read each other. Maybe, because they had to. "Cas, what does this...key...go to?" Jared wanted to know if this 'real' life was following along the plot lines of the show.
Cas frowned, his face visible to Jensen in the rear view mirror. He wondered why Sam didn't remember. "It's the key to the weapons room. The heavenly weapons my loyal brethren have been stealing and hiding away. Once we have them all, Raphael will not be able to defeat us in a full blown battle."
Jared looked at Cas in the mirror. "Uh, right...those weapons. Sorry. Lots on our minds."
Bobby looked from Dean to Sam, wondering why they seemed unable to focus on things lately. No matter what mess they would happen to find themselves ini the middle of, they tended to remember even the smallest details. Sam, because he was a natural at research. Dean, because he was tenacious in so many ways. If he didn't know better, he might believe the boys to be shapeshifters. But those creatures could steal memories as well as forms. The gaps in missing information troubled Bobby. It meant he would have to keep a better eye on them.
"I'll see you all at a later time. But try not to call for me any time soon if you can. I'll be very busy." With that, Castiel vanished in the blink of an eye.
When the car pulled into the dirt driveway of Bobby's house, the three men got out and went inside. Immediately, Bobby headed for the living room. Jensen and Jared went to the kitchen.
Whispering together as they pulled a couple of beers from the fridge, they discussed what they'd heard in the car.
"A key. That was in the script we were filming before we arrived here." Jared twisted the cap off his bottle, and took a deep swig of the icy liquid.
"So there are parallels between the fake world we work in and the real world here. Fantastic." Jensen didn't know whether to drink his beer or toss it across the room.
Jared could tell his co-star was tense. He just didn't know how close to breaking down he was. But he seemed to be holding it in very well, for now.
Jensen walked into the living room from the kitchen, the bottle of chilled beer still in his hand. Jared was not far behind.
"Want a real drink, Dean?" Bobby asked, holding out a bottle half-filled with amber liquid.
"No, thanks. I don't really like hard liquor." Jensen sat on the chair near the desk where Bobby was doing some research.
"Since when!" The older man pushed his baseball hat off his brow to stare at the young man for whom drinking had become a pass time. In a way, whatever was going on with Dean's behavior, if it meant the boy drank less, Bobby would be grateful to see that. Not that he drank any less, but his age gave him allowances for that, or so he thought. But he was afraid there was something more nefarious involved here. If Dean and Sam were not shapeshifters, did someone or something have control of their minds? Was that why they were behaving so oddly, so out-of-character?
"Beer's fine, Bobby." Jensen opened the bottle and took a drink from it. He wasn't fond of the flavor, and usually drank it only when he was eating pizza. Often, he would retreat to his trailer in between scenes, and order a couple of pizzas. Then he'd get a gofer to bring him a six-pack of Heineken. He would usually end up giving 5 away to stage hands. The fact he played a character who was a borderline alcoholic bothered him, but what could he do? Sometimes he disagreed with the way his character was portrayed, but he was an actor. He didn't write the lines, he only acted them out. The fact the real Bobby was such an enabler to Dean's drinking was not addressed in the show, thankfully.
His mind a mass of questions with no answers, Jensen decided he needed to talk to Jared, alone. "Hey, Bobby, we'll be back. Brother talk." Grabbing Jared by the shoulder, he dragged the startled man outside.
"Jensen, what the hell are you doing?" Jared hoped their recent battle against the Skrill hadn't spooked him. He didn't really want to be left alone in this alternate universe with a babbling idiot for his companion.
"Jared, we can't do this anymore." He began to pace beside the car, waving his arms. "Man, we are in way over our heads."
Jared squinted at the frantically pacing man, realizing that he was really upset. "We survived, Jensen. Let it go."
"Let it go?" He stood in front of a puzzled Jared. "The Winchesters are hunters, for real. They search for things most people would run from. And now, we are them!"
Jared leaned against the Impala, marveling in the sturdy construction of the car. Today's cars dented so easily. He crossed his arms as he watched his co-star pace. "Jensen, we're not really hunters. We're actors who play hunters on TV."
"That's my point, J. Playing at being hunters doesn't give us the experience to be good at the job."
"We survived those bat things," Jared pointed out, shrugging.
"We got lucky. Luck may not be with us next time." Pacing again, Jensen muttered, "I just want to get out of this freakin' bizarro world and back home again."
Jared laughed at how freaked out Jensen was. He felt he should have been the one to lose his cool, but instead, it was the man who played the world-wise, world-weary Dean Winchester getting upset.
"Stop laughing, man. It's not funny," Jensen growled. This was why he and Jared never became friends. They didn't think along the same track.
Jared stopped laughing and got serious. "You have got to get a grip, Jensen, or we will die here." Trying to be the calmer of the two, Jared went on, "Well, think about it. We know what fighting involves, thanks to the stunt coordinator and stuntmen. We can use that knowledge. We have the scripts, and can use some of that information to help us. And there's always Bobby. Plus, we have an honest-to-goodness angel on our side."
Jensen did think about it, and shook his head while smiling. "An angel. It's insane, J. But you know, part of me thinks it's cool to know the real Castiel. In the show, the guy's great."
"And don't forget the way the fans feel about Dean and Cas," Jared said, winking.
Jensen hit him on the arm. "Shut up about that. I don't do angels. Hell, I don't do guys!" Feeling a bit better, thanks to Jared, he leaned against the Impala next to his co-star .
Jared was just about to ask Jensen a question, when he saw a familiar figure off in the distance seemingly appear out of nothing. "Oh, shit," he muttered. "It can't be."
"What?" Jensen asked, turning to look in the same direction. His eyes widened. "Sebastian?"
"Not Sebastian, Balthazar, the real Balthazar. We do not need to have that asshole messing with us." Jared waited for the angel to reach them, his face showing the displeasure he felt.
The angel approached, a smile on his face. He was dressed in a black suit with a light blue striped shirt and navy tie. His face was clean-shaven, his hair gelled and combed neat. In dulcet tones, with the usual expected accent, he greeted the two actors. "Hello, Dean, Sam. I know you weren't expecting me, but Castiel asked me to check in with you and see if there was anything I could help you boys with. He's quite busy, you know."
Jensen and Jared glanced at one another. This was not the Balthazar they dealt with in the few episodes Sebastian Roche had appeared. That character was an indifferent, sometimes troublesome douchebag. This Balthazar seemed more benevolent. No cavalier attitude, no false bravado, just sincere interest.
"Uh, hi, Balthazar. No, we're...uh...ok."
"Cas told me that you vanquished the Skrill. Excellent job, boys. Of course, that takes care of only a small portion of Eve's army. Still, you did very well. And I'm glad to see you both alive."
Jared raised an eyebrow at Jensen. "Cas mentioned a key..."
"Ah, yes, the key to the weapons locker. We have it, never fear. Cas has to lay low for now. When Raphael is looking the other way, we'll use the key to obtain the entire arsenal. Once the weapons are in our hands, no rebellious angels will even get close enough to try to storm Heaven. We will triumph, my friends, and your world will be safe from those bloody angels once and for all."
"Yeah, great. Thanks, Balthazar," Jensen said, trying to accept the reality of a heavenly rebellion.
"No thanks are necessary, boys. I care about you, all of you. I'm here to make sure my wicked brothers and sisters do not continue to interfere in your existence. Well, if you don't need me then, I'll take off. But call me if you require anything, anything at all." The angel smiled and grasped their shoulders before vanishing, leaving the sound of fluttering wings in his wake.
"Wow, can you believe that, Jared? That...was Balthazar. Why on Earth do the show's writers make him such a dick?"
"I don't know. I guess to make them more sympathetic later on when they switch to our side. I mean, they don't know about real angels. They're just writing scripts." Jared brushed the hair from his forehead. This world was crazy strange compared to the one they acted in. But saying the words in a script, and saying them as they were really happening were two different things. "What do you think about the show, Jensen?"
"Why do you ask?" the man wanted to know, a hint of suspicion in his voice.
"You don't always seem to take the work seriously. Like being late on set. Not very professional, man."
Jensen responded, "It's a job, J. Pays pretty damn good, too. And you know how things are...were...with us. It's not as much fun when you barely get along with your co-star. Why didn't we become friends, anyway?"
Jared stared down at the ground. "You never expressed interest. Not once. And when I had parties, who was never there?"
Jensen waited for Jared to make eye contact, the said, "Something about an invitation?"
"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. Look, if we do make it home, things change. Agreed?" He held out his hand toward the other man.
Taking Jared's hand in his, Jensen shook it and nodded. "Agreed." Jensen clapped his co-star on the back. "Come on, let's go see if Bobby needs anything. So...what's this I hear about a McMansion? Really? A mansion? Care to elaborate on that?"
Jared chuckled. "Sure, later." As they headed back to the house, he said, 'You do realize we're broke. We have no money, no credit cards."
Jensen laughed aloud, shaking his head. "That sounds so damn familiar, doesn't it? Well, I'm no good at pool or poker, so hustling's out. Come on, we'll come up with something." Finding themselves in agreement was new to them, but the two headed back to the house, anxious to see what this world would cook up for them.
When the guys came into the living room, Bobby looked up and asked, "You boys still off your feed?"
"Naw, it's all good. Hey, Bobby, what do we do for money when we're all out?"
"Broke again?"
Jensen and Jared looked at each other. If only they had access to their bank accounts. "Yeah, flat."
The older man, shrugged. "I can spot you something. You're going to have to get to Milford anyway. I have something I want you to give to Blake."
"Blake?" Jared asked.
Bobby sighed. "Blake, my old friend from cowtown days."
"Oh, your hunter friend," Jensen ventured, guessing of course that any friend of Bobby's had to have ties to other hunters.
"Yeah, that Blake. Anyway, I want you to go to Milford, and give him this package." He patted a small box lying on the desk. Pulling 5 twenty dollar bills from his wallet, he gave them to Jensen. "Here, Dean. For a motel and food. And get right back here the next day, ok? Call me if you have any trouble." Handing him a piece of paper with an address, Bobby went back to work, wishing he didn't need to send the boys off on their own, not while acting they way they were. He had no choice. He had to stay to wait for some phone calls from hunters in different parts of the country.
Jensen gave Jared the address, since he would be navigating. "To Milford?"
Jared ran his hand through his hair. At least Jensen wasn't flipping out on him anymore. "To Milford."
A/N: Now that J & J have made a peace of sorts, they'll learn how to fight together, like Dean and Sam had. How long will they continue to fool everyone? And will they survive the things that go bump in the night? Stay tuned.