The French Mistake : Bizarro World
I do not own the world of Supernatural or any of its inhabitants.
Chapter 6
Despite his misgivings, Bobby gave Jensen and Jared instructions as to where to find his friend Blake, along with a brown paper-wrapped package. "Now hang onto this, Dean, and make sure no one but Blake gets it. Think you boys can manage that?" He still had his doubts about their recent behavior, but he had seen them in worse shape.
"What's in it, Bobby?" Jensen asked, shaking the box.
"Damn idjit! Are you asking for bad things to happen to you?" Bobby placed his hands over the other man's, forcing Jensen to stop shaking the wrapped box. "Just get this to Blake. He'll know what to do with it."
Jensen looked at the box, then looked up at Bobby, his eyes wide. "Here, Jared, you hang on to this," he said, quickly passing the box to the startled man next to him.
"Uh, wait a minute...!" Jared glanced at Bobby, who rolled his eyes, shook his head, and went back to his desk.
"Don't take forever, boys," he said dismissvely, as he resumed his work.
Jensen headed for the door, Jared following close behind. He held the box away from his body, never taking his eyes from it. "You don't think Bobby would give us anything really dangerous, do you?"
"Naww. I hope not, anyway." He hid a small smile that threatened to burst forth in laughter. Funny how on the show, they played men who handled danger in all its forms, and never once shirked from it. Hell, they sought it out. He and Jared were not those guys. They were afraid of over-zealous fangirls. Ghosts, vampires, and other such supposedly non-existent creatures were only a little bit scarier.
Once they reached the Impala, Jared opened the back door of the car, and laid the box on the floor of the back seat.
Jensen snuck up behind him, and bending over him, shouted in his ear. "Boom!"
Jared snapped upward, hitting his head on the car's interior roofing. "You...are such a douche," he said, turning to glare at Jensen as he got into the front seat.
"Oh, lighten up, J." He started the car, and headed down the road. Coming to the main road, he turned to Jared, saying, "So, which way?"
Jared pulled out the map Bobby had given him with the address of his friend Blake. "Turn left," he answered. For several miles, he said nothing to Jensen. He looked over the map, while not actually reading it. Why he thought things would ever change between him and his co-star was beyond him.
Jensen didn't mind the silence, but he didn't like there being a reason for it. He and Jared were just beginning to get along. He never understood why they couldn't joke around on set, like he had heard was done on the sets of other shows. They would film their scenes as quickly and efficiently as possible, then go their separate ways until they were needed again.
Jared smirked, something not unnoticed by Jensen. "What was that for?"
"You have such an ego, man." Jared crossed his arms, lowering his head as he held in his laughter.
"Ok, you son of a bitch. When we appear at the conventions, why do my photo ops sell out before yours do? Why is that?"
Jared knew his didn't sell out as quickly as Jensen's did. He used the reason he had often heard from his faithful followers. "I make myself accessible to the fans, jerk. Do you? Why pay for the cow…?" He realized what he was saying and shut up.
Pulling into the parking lot of a reasonably acceptable looking motel, Jared sighed audibly.
"What's the matter, J? No comparison to the McMansion? Well, $100 isn't going to get us much, so frugality is the order of the day. Come on."
"I'll wait out here," he answered. Getting out of the car, Jared opened the back door and reached in for the duffel containing their change of clothes, and the box, which he continued to handle gingerly.
It wasn't long before Jensen was standing beside him, key in hand. "Our suite awaits."
Entering the room, both men's expectations sank. It wasn't that the room was dirty. In fact, it seemed quite clean. But the decor was Tacky70s deluxe. Colors of avocado green and burnt orange prevailed. Still, both beds look comfortable enough.
Jensen threw himself on one of the beds, and slipped his hands behind his head. 'Ahhh, now this is the life."
Jared lost his patience. "Can you be serious for even one minute?"
"What the hell is the matter with you, Padalecki? All of a sudden, you're my drill sergeant or something? What do you expect me to say. Of course this sucks compared to what we have back home. I'm trying to make the best of things." He swung his legs to the side of the bed, and sat on the edge. "We are stuck in this insane world where magic and the supernatural really exists. And we could get killed. Get it? If we make one wrong move, we could die."
"Yeah, I get it. But you aren't helping by being so cavalier."
"Cavalier? Christ!" Jensen muttered, as he got up and went into the bathroom. Splashing cold water on his face, he wondered if this nightmare ever end. Toweling off the water, he called out to Jared. 'Do you mind giving this Blake a call? Tell him Bobby sent us, and we can meet up with him any time to give him the box."
"Yeah, sure," answered Jared, glad to have something to do besides argue with Jensen. He called the number Bobby had given them. A man answered, acknowledging the little information Jared had, and said he would expect them in three hours. When Jared hung up, he told Jensen when they would be needing to leave. But his stomach reminded him that he hadn't eaten in awhile. "Dude, there's a diner across the way. Want to get something to eat?"
Thinking that anything would be better than being holed up in this small space with Jared, he nodded. "Sure. I could use a salad or maybe a sandwich."
Both men walked to the diner in silence. Neither was quite sure what to say to the other. They'd never spent anywhere near this much time together, alone, and it was getting on both their nerves. Once in the diner, they took seats in a booth, and perused the menu.
"I could eat a horse," Jared remarked. Turning to the waitress, he started, "I'll have a bowl of corn chowder, the fried chicken platter with extra steak fries, and a chocolate shake."
"Whoa there, J, don't eat the entire budget." While the waitress waited patiently, hoping for a large tip to accompany the large order, Jensen looked over the menu one more time. "I'll have a turkey sandwich, with a spinach salad on the side. And iced tea with that."
The two men ate in silence, neither wanting to spoil the peaceful moment while they enjoyed their food. When they had finished, Jensen looked at his watch. "Guess we should start for Blake's house."
"Right. Let's go back to the motel, get the box, and complete this road trip. One night sleeping in that room will be enough for me."
"Agreed," Jensen said, as he pulled a twenty from his wallet and placed it on the table. One thing about small town food, it was cheap, but he didn't see the scowl given to him by their waitress.
Once the box had been retrieved, Jensen started for the driver's side. He was stopped by a hand restraining him.
"Why do you always have to drive, man?" Jared stepped between Jensen and the car door.
"Dean always drives in the show, since Sam had the accident..." Jensen started.
"Asshole. That "accident" was part of the show. You are not Dean, and I am not Sam." Jared glared at his co-star.
"Yeah, well..."
"Give me the keys." He held out his hand. "I can drive a fucking car, Jensen. Give me...the damn keys."
"Alright, alright," Jensen grumbled, tossing the keyring to Jared, and moving to the passenger side.
As they drove to the address Bobby had given them, Jensen turned to Jared. "Hey, J, I'm sorry. This whole thing is stressing me out. I mean, sometimes, it's kinda fun to play pretend, like we do on the set. Then something happens to remind me it's not play acting, that this is all real."
"I know what you mean. We just have to survive until we find a way to get home." Jared smiled. They'd be ok. But he knew of only one person who might have information on how to get them back where they belonged. And right now, he was too busy for them.
They had driven down a dirt road, reaching a lone house in the middle of no where. "Don't any hunters live in ordinary neighborhhoods?" Jensen asked, peering out the windshield.
"Do they in the show?" Jared responded. Both men chuckled, because it was so true.
Getting out the car, Jensen grabbed the box from the backseat, and followed Jared to the front door. It was quiet, too quiet. "If this were the show, I would say, get the guns."
Jensen knocked on the door several times. Glancing around, he noticed how absolutely silent it was. He knocked again, then tried turning the knob. It wasn't locked. Giving Jared a look, he pushed the door open, and called out. "Blake. It's Dean and Sam, Bobby's friends. Are you there?"
"Maybe he went out."
"He knew we were coming, J. Why would he leave?" He stepped into the room, glad that Jared was at his back. "Blake? Hey, man, you home?"
The two men tread quietly. They saw a table filled with papers, much as Bobby's had been. On approach, they noticed a small red puddle.
Touching it, Jared rubbed his fingers together. The fluid was sticky, with a faint coppery odor. "It's blood."
"Damn," Jensen muttered. He set the box on the table and headed for the hallway. It led to a kitchen. He perused the area, checking out the table and the counters. When he reached the sink, he saw more red splashed over white porcelain. Feeling bile rise up in his throat, Jensen hoofed it back to the living room. "There's more blood in the kitchen. Something happened here, J."
"You're right, something did happen here." Both men turned to the stairs at the voice coming from there. A man in jeans and a plaid flannel shirt stood there. "I'm Blake. So you must be Dean and Sam. Bobby's told me a lot about you boys." He saw the box sitting on the table. "That for me?"
"Uh, yeah," Jared answered, handing over the package. He glanced over at Jensen, hoping he noticed the blood on Blake's collar. The look on his face indicated he had.
"Well, we better go then. Gotta get back to Bobby's." Jensen pulled on Jared's sleeve, as he went for the front door.
"Wait, boys, don't go yet. Stay a bit. Have a beer. I want to take a look at this." He set the box back down on the table, and opened it. Reaching in, he pulled out what looked like an antique brass statue of some sort. Blake held it up to his face, scanning the statue and the markings on it. He smiled.
Jared didn't like that smile. "Naw, man, we have to go. Come on, Je...Dean. Let's go." Both men started out the door. Just before they made it onto the porch, they were yanked back into the house.
"Not so fast, boys." Blake had Jensen and Jared by the collars. When they turned to face him, they saw red eyes and a smile that exposed pointed teeth. "I'm hungry, and you two will do just fine."
"He's a vamp," Jensen whispered.
"I can see that," Jared said, wishing they had brought something from the trunk of the Impala. If they could get out there, he figured Blake wouldn't be able to follow, it still being daylight.
"Now, boys, don't be afraid. It's not that bad. I found that out when the Master gave me the opportunity for immortality. And this statue will be the perfect thank you gift for him." He was caressing the small brass object. "One thing about Bobby. When you tell him you need something, he never fails to deliver. And supper too."
"Screw you, asshole." Jensen figured channeling Dean wouldn't hurt in this situation. He shoved Blake hard, catching the vampire off guard. He grabbed Jared by the jacket, tugging at the larger man. "Move it!"
Blake latched onto Jared's ankle and pulled him down to the floor. He hissed, his teeth bared.
Jared was yelling as he attempted to fight off the creature that was trying to bite him. "Jensen! Help me!"
Jensen closed his eyes, praying. "Balthazar, help us. Fly down from your fluffy cloud, and take out this bastard." When the angel didn't appear, he tried another tact. "Castiel, we need you. Please come down from wherever it is you are. Cas!" Nothing. "Damn you both," he muttered.
Jared held Blake by the chin, keeping the teeth away from him, but his strength was waning.
Jensen watched as his co-star was battling the vampire. Fear took hold of him as he saw razor sharp teeth inches from Jared's throat. His first inclination set his feet heading straight for the door. He was halfway through, when he stopped. "Shit!" Turning back, he scanned the room for a weapon. Spying a broom in the kitchen, he ran there, and picking up the cleaning utensil, snapped it in half. Better than nothing, he thought. He stood over Blake, and with all the strength he could muster, he jammed the jagged end of the broom handle into the vampire's back.
Blake reared back, one hand scrabbling behind him as he held Jared by the neck. But he wasn't dying.
"Knife, knife," Jared squeaked.
Jensen nodded and ran outside. Opening the trunk of the car, he saw the biggest knife in the collection, and picked it up. Booking it back to the house, he hopped onto the porch and threw himself into the living room. Rolling hard on his shoulder, he landed next to Blake, and raised his arm. "J, move!" When Jared was clear, he swung down, removing Blake's head cleanly from his body.
Out of breath, Jensen collapsed to the floor, letting the knife fall from his hand. He rubbed his hands on his jeans, but he still couldn't get all the blood off.
Jared rubbed his throat, as he tried taking in deep breaths. "Thanks, man."
Jensen looked at the man who had been a thorn in his side practically from day one on set. "You're welcome." He smiled as he stood, and reaching down with one hand, helped Jared up off the floor. "You ok?"
"Yeah, alive anyway." Noticing the statue, he grabbed it and put it back in the box, taking it with him as they left the house. "From now on, Bobby's makes his own deliveries."
When they reached the motel, they took turns showering. While Jensen was getting cleaned up, Jared ran over to the diner, and got them something to eat. Now in fresh clothes, the two actors relaxed and discussed their latest adventure.
"You were going to leave me, weren't you." Jared took a bite from his double cheeseburger.
"Naww, I was going to get a weapon from the car." Under the steady stare of his fellow actor, Jensen admitted, "Yeah, I was. But I didn't."
"Well, thanks anyway."
The sound of fluttering wings filled the air.
"What the hell! Cas, where have you been?" Putting down his salad, Jensen stood, and went over to the puzzled, coat-clad angel. "We almost got our heads bit off, literally! And that half-ass partner of yours was no where to be found."
Frowning, Cas tilted his head, as he squinted his eyes at the two men. "My partner?"
"Yeah, Balthazar. He said you sent him to help us out, if we needed it. And we just did, badly!"
"I never sent Balthazar. He came and spoke with you?"
Jensen and Jared looked at each other. It was Jared who answered. "Yeah, Cas, he was actually nice to us, and well dressed. Nothing like...what we're used to." He glanced at Jensen, who raised an eyebrow knowingly.
"I wonder why Balthazar would come to you on his own, and offering his help."
"We wouldn't know. We believed him when he said you had sent him," Jensen said, one eyebrow raised in annoyance.
"I'll find out," the angel replied. As a last minute thought, he asked, "Are you both ok?"
"No thanks to you, Cas."
"I'm sorry, Dean. I told you I was busy. Raphael is drawing his forces together. I'll try to find Balthazar." In a blink, Castiel vanished.
"So much for angelic protection," Jensen growled.
"You have to admit, it's very much like the show." Jared went back to his cheeseburger.
As he demolished his salad, Jensen mumbled, "Yeah, and I'm beginning to hate the show. Ok, so how do we tell Bobby his friend went vamp?"
A/N: sorry for the delay in updating. Since my desktop died, I have been doing everything on my laptop, and that's harder to type on. Plus exhaustion due to work doesn't help, cuz you need a clear mind to write.