The French Mistake : Bizarro World

I do not own the world of Supernatural or any of its inhabitants.

Chapter 10

Jared, Jensen and Bobby were hanging out in the kitchen, taking a much needed break from their recent run-in with Raphael's angels. Jensen was just cleaning up the dishes from a recent meal, and after drying his hands, sat at the table next to Jared.

"I have some research to do, boys," Bobby said almost gruffly. The older man wasn't sure when or if Castiel was returning. He figured the angel still had enemies out there circling around, in case Cas did show up again. Bobby wanted to be ready for that eventuality.

Seeing the man who had taken them in, heading for the basement door, Jared asked, "Where are you going, Bobby?" He felt true concern for the hunter who had been helping them, even after finding out that he and Jensen weren't his now missing friends.

"To the panic room. I have some books I need to go through."

"Hey, uh...is there really a Bo Derek calendar in there?" Jensen asked, grinning. He was referring to the set decoration of the so-called panic room they had used for past episodes, where the fake Bobby had a calendar with a picture of the "10" actress.

"A man has his secrets. I'll be back soon, fellas." Bobby grabbed his whiskey bottle, and headed for the most private place in his house.

"Must be hard for him, not knowing what's happening with his friends," Jensen mused. "Babysitting us can't be easy either."

Shrugging, Jared opened the door of the refrigerator. "Do you want a beer?" He pulled out two bottles before even waiting for an answer.

"Sure, why not." Jensen easily caught the bottle Jared had tossed to him. "So what do you think will happen when we get back?"

"You're assuming we can get back." Jared twisted the bottle's cap, and drank deeply. "Come on. Let's go outside. I'm feeling a bit hemmed in right now.

Jensen followed Jared through the back door, seeing immediately where his co-star was headed. The Impala. The object that grounded Dean and Sam the most in their journeys.

"Of course we're getting back, man. Cas will take care of things. He's an angel. He can do anything."

"Not if he's like his counterpart on the show. He has weaknesses," Jared reminded him.

"He's got to get us back, J. I don't want to stay here for the rest of my life. It's a TV show, for God's sake. My life is back home, where I can turn all this off at the end of the day."

"I know what you mean, Jensen. And who knows what damage the real Sam and Dean are creating. What if we get home to find ourselves fired?"

"They wouldn't fire us. Would they?" Jensen liked working more than he liked standing in the unemployment line. It had been a long time since he had to harass his agent to get him work. He'd planned on staying with Supernatural for as long as the network and the fans wanted them. He felt badly in that moment, thinking about how he had never encouraged the fans. Oh sure, he'd go to the conventions, tell jokes, sign a million autographs, and hang out for the photo ops. But as soon as he left, he would sigh loudly, happy to be done with all the hand shaking and perpetual smiling.

Jared was even worse, talking more about the money he was making for standing there, looking pretty for the ladies, as he put it. Fans paid high prices to see him, and he loved it. The constant adoration was an ego boost for him. He would crack jokes, and they'd laugh. If he flipped his hair, the expectant women would practically swoon. During the photo ops, they'd giggle and blush. All of this, because of a TV show. Where else could he get that kind of unconditional love? "Jensen, do you think we...you, know, treat the fans right? I mean, they made it possible for me to have that nice house, all of the stuff in it. And you have that great trailer with that monster fish tank."

"What are you getting at, J?" Jensen took a swig of beer and waited.

"I don't know, man. I just think, maybe, when we get back, we might do more for the fans. Show our appreciation for all the support they've given us, especially early on when we could have just as easily been cancelled." Running a hand over the cool black metal of the Impala, he considered the changes that would be part of their old world. A new appreciation of the job and the crew, the show's fans, and his burgeoning friendship with Jensen. Please get us back, he prayed to no one in particular. "And relax, ok? I don't think we'll find ourselves fired."

"Depends on what the real Dean and Sam are doing in our place. They're not actors, J. And if someone discovers they're fakes..." Jensen knew acting was more difficult than most people imagined. Hunters have to act in a way, pretending to be cops, FBI, even brave when they felt like wetting themselves. But being in front of a camera could be just as intimidating to most people.

"They're smart guys. They're probably pretending to be us just so they don't get dragged to the hospital on insanity charges." Jared hoped so anyway. "I know one thing. It's going to be hard playing the parts for pretend, after doing what we've had to do here. You know, fighting for real, nearly getting killed."

"I know what you mean, man. I'm actually feeling like a hunter." Jensen grinned at his friend. That's what he was, too. His friend. He and Jared seemed to be getting along so well. Almost as well now, as their counterparts. Why hadn't he seen it before? They might not be brothers in real life, but they could be comrades, co workers and friends from here on out. He hoped that would last, even if they did find their way home.

Jared finished off his beer. "You think we'll even remember any of this, Jensen? You heard Cas. We could end up in non-existence. Like everything we're doing here, now, may be it. No more life for us. The world we remember might just be a construct, one that would vanish when we do."

Jensen had no answer, and so offered none. He merely turned away in silence, and headed back to the house. He heard footfalls behind him, and knew Jared was following. Neither man spoke, reality suddenly hitting them both, hard.

In the panic room, Bobby sat thumbing through a journal he'd gotten from a friend. Putting the small book down, he sat back and thought about the two young men upstairs. He wondered if he was being too harsh with them. In truth, he just didn't want to see them get killed. But on the other hand, Bobby felt there was also no reason to get them more involved in the lives of the real Winchesters than necessary. Hopefully, the real Dean and Sam would be back, and soon. Jensen and Jared could return to their own lives, if those lives were going to continue on their return. Bobby found himself liking the two actors, despite any misgivings he had about them. They may not be his real god sons, but they were troopers when it came to filling the Winchester shoes. He grinned, and took a drink from his glass before going back to his reading.

It was an hour or so later, when Cas suddenly appeared in Bobby's living room, and stepped between the two startled actors. He grabbing each by the shoulder, and transported them to a motel on a road hundreds of miles away.

"Oh, shit!" Jared cried out.

"Yeah, cool, huh," Jensen said, grinning broadly. He was used to flitting around on angel wings. But he knew it could be a shock at first.

All seriousness, Castiel told them to check in. As soon as the two actors had entered the room, they barely had the time to close and lock the door when Cas materialized

"Don't you ever just walk?" Jared asked, obviously peeved.

Confused, Cas looked from Jensen to Jared. "I...no...angels rarely just...walk." Silent now, he sat on the bed. he seemed to be deep in thought.

"I need to get out of this shirt." Pulling it over his head, Jensen went to the duffel he was using as luggage, and pulled out a clean shirt. It was the last one. As he turned to don the new shirt, he noticed the angel looking at him. Not just looking. He was positively staring at him, head tilted slightly to the side. Being scrutinized in such a blatant manner made Jensen uncomfortable, to say the least. He'd read some of the fanfics about Dean and Cas, and how they... Shaking the idea from his mind, he asked pointedly, "What are you looking at, Cas?"

"You don't have the mark of protection."

Mark of what? "Oh, the tattoo. That was just make-up, man. It wasn't real." Jensen chuckled at how simple things confused one of God's own. Then he remembered how things in this world were real. Such a tattoo would actually protect them from demonic possession.

"That could be a problem, if any demons found out. It's enough that we have angel issues." He stood and approached the actor.

Jensen backed up. "You are not hoojooing a tattoo on me, man!" he said, holding the shirt up against his chest for protection. He realized how silly that was, and quickly put it on.

Jared was smirking at his co star. "Cas, is there some way you can...protect us, without the tattoo?"

Cas lowered his head, and thought of a thing he could use that would, temporarily at least, keep the boys safe from possession. He also realized that the sigil he had imprinted onto Dean's and Sam's ribs would not be on the actors' ribs. He touched first Jared's shoulder, then went over to Jensen, who watched the angel warily. Still, he didn't budge as Castiel touched his shoulder. "That should keep anyone out for awhile, and hide you from my brothers."

Slight pain radiated throughout Jensen's body. He saw that Jared was experiencing the same pain. But it quickly subsided.

Without much fanfare, Balthazar appeared, one hand holding the neck of a bottle of bourbon. "Hello, boys," he slurred.

"You're drunk. How many...?" Cas looked at his brother in mild disgust.

"1,067 at last count. You all had better hide, and fast. Raphael has a vergicle...vericable...veritable army of winged ones out there, all with one goal. To find you lads."

"I didn't think angels could get drunk," Jensen whispered to Castiel.

"They can't. But none of us has ever had the inclination to imbibe so much alcohol."

"I'm only a little drunk, Cas." Balthazar drank the last of the bottle and tossed it into the air, where it disappeared before hitting the floor. "No reason not to get drunk, is there? Our very existence is on the line."

"You disappoint me, Balthazar. We would be better served if you gathered our loyal forces, and kept the others from finding us." Castiel pondered a moment, his hand stroking his chin absently. He thought he had done a good job hiding the actors from the army of his elder brother. Now he would have to move them again.

As the ground suddenly began shaking, Jared shouted, "What the hell is that?" He managed to steady himself as the shaking grew. He saw Jensen fall back onto the bed.

"Oh, crap," Balthazar mumbled to himself. "See you soon, lads!" With that, he vanished.

Realizing their ride home had run out on them, Jared shouted, "Balthazar, you asshole! Come back here!" He looked over at Castiel, who gave him a slight shrug.

For his part, Castiel knew that time had run out to bring their plans to fruition. Balthazar had Heaven's weapons in safe keeping, and the key to the place they were locked away. Why had he decided to indulge his passion for liquor at this, of all times. And even though these...actors...were not Dean and Sam, Castiel felt an obligation to protect them until Balthazar was able to send them home. "We need to go, now!" He closed his eyes and placed his hands on both men's shoulders, preparing to whisk them to another location. When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see the same surroundings. They had gone nowhere.

Back at Bobby's house, the older man had left the panic room, and headed for the kitchen. No one was there. He went into the living room. Empty. "Guys?" he hollered. Looking around the now silent and empty house, he blinked a few times, confused. They wouldn't have left without telling him. Would they? "Guys?"

A/N: Finally, I have a new laptop. I can write again! Sorry for the delay.

Recently, I had gone to an SPN convention in Dallas, and someone asked Jensen what he thought he would do if he had been sent to the real SPN world. He said that he has been playing Dean for 7 seasons and would use what he had learned on the show. I smiled, since that is what I incorporated into my story. Dean and Sam have experience fighting, even if not against real monsters.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. Enjoy!