We were all shaken after the guards' departure. Carlisle called out of work and called me out of school for the next week, and the three of us made sure we were always within hearing range of each other. Carlisle didn't believe they would return but it was better to err on the side of caution.

Carlisle and Esme naturally sought to comfort each other, and I was often left alone with my thoughts and my journal. In a single night, my world had gotten a lot bigger. It wasn't the first time I had met "normal" vampires, but this time I suddenly found myself feeling abnormal in comparison. Was my family such an anomaly?

I hadn't asked for this life, but I was making the best of it. With Carlisle's guidance, I had learned to control my thirst and my strength. I had never had an accident or caused suspicion in any humans we had encountered. I dutifully attended school, though the novelty of reading minds had long since worn off. It had been a stretch of the truth when I had told Demetri that I found school interesting. I occasionally found new languages and other things to learn, though it was less every year. I had my music and a few other interests... although these things, too, sometimes held a note of staleness. And there was always the thirst.

But for the most part, I was content. I wouldn't have used the word happy, but content, yes. I had loving parents, a nice home, and as normal a life as possible. As human a life as possible.

I had once asked Carlisle whether he thought we still had souls. In his human life, his father had been grooming him for the Anglican vicarage, and centuries of experience had given him ample opportunity to explore questions such as this. "Our bodies may have changed, Edward," he had answered, "but we are still a part of creation. I see no reason why we should be excluded from either judgment or grace. We can still make moral choices. You and I are living proof."

I had responded with some wisecrack about how we weren't "living" at all, and the conversation had drifted to other topics. We had returned to the debate on occasion, though less often since Esme had joined us. She was undeniably happy that Carlisle had changed her, and she herself had little interest in the soul issue. But did bother her to see my cynicism regarding Carlisle's beliefs. And Carlisle couldn't stand to see her unhappy, so the debates rarely came up anymore.

But now I considered those questions again, alone. Since my transformation, I had always believed that we were "good vampires" because of our respect for human life, and the others were bad because they didn't make that choice. I supposed I had always pictured "bad" vampires as soulless savages, roaming the earth in the tattered clothes they had died in, feeding mercilessly on any unlucky townspeople they came across. I had known, deep down, that I wasn't being realistic. I had seen several other red-eyed vampires, through Carlisle's memories. While he didn't approve of their choices, he didn't think of them as savages. Some of them, he considered friends. I had even met one in person: his friend Siobhan from Ireland. I had found her intimidating, but not feral or cruel. She certainly hadn't crawled about hunting in rags.

But Demetri had seemed so sophisticated. From his words and thoughts, it seemed like the Volturi were the cultured, organized center of vampire society. Not that I admired him, of course. But the more I thought about it, we were clearly designed to consume human blood; the instinct was there from the moment of our awakening. We were natural predators, and, after all, nobody blames a lion simply because of its inborn drive to live as a carnivore. And a lion is not a cannibal; it preys, as it should, on lower life forms. And we were a different species than humans; even Carlisle conceded that point. Humans were certainly the inferior species, in every way. Was it really so deplorable that Demetri and those like him enjoyed their natural food source?

Since Carlisle had been there from the beginning, I had never truly considered any path other than the one he had set me on. As a newborn, of course I had wanted human blood; I had hardly thought of anything else at first. But Carlisle had been patient, and wisely kept me miles away from civilization during my first crucial months. When I was ready, he had gradually increased my exposure and now I was able to mingle easily with humans and spend hours at a time in school around them. I still struggled at times, of course. Even with my ability, I couldn't predict when someone might accidentally get a cut while sitting next to me. My control was unusually good, according to Carlisle; I was always able to stop breathing in time and find some excuse to absent myself. I was rather proud of my perfect record. Why should anything change?

But was change necessarily bad? Demetri didn't seem to think so. For better or worse, it seemed he hadn't been lying when he had said that most vampires didn't stay with their creator. And now that I thought about it, Carlisle had told me before that most vampires were nomads, either traveling alone or in mated pairs. I had never thought about how that must mean that vampires tended not to stay with their creators. Of course, when he had said "most vampires", he had been referring to the red-eyed variety.

The normal vampires...

It was now a month since our visitors had come, and we no longer lived in fear of their return. I had just entered all these thoughts in my journal when Carlisle called up the stairs that he and Esme were going hunting and asked if I would like to come along. I declined, and after I heard the front door shut, I sat thinking for nearly an hour before I continued with my thoughts. I picked up my pen again.

I have never seriously considered what other paths are available other than this one. Will I always live with those I call my parents, playing the eternal teenage son? I am grateful that I began this life with a teacher, and I love Carlisle and Esme as if they were truly my parents. But is it right that I should forever defer to a man who, by human standards, is only six years my elder? Most vampires live alone, after all. If I were to spend some time on my own, would I necessarily continue to follow Carlisle's rules?

Perhaps the difference between a good life and a bad life is not as defined as Carlisle and Esme seem to think—in fact, I do not have life at all. I am dead in so many ways. Perhaps my soul has already flown above, or, more likely, was destroyed when I was bitten, infused with the means to become more than human. I cannot imagine that God still sees me in the same way as he did before. He must see my kind as the predatory animals that we are. Why should I cling to a moral structure that assumes my humanity? If I were to try—

At that moment the front door opened and I slammed my journal shut. I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't noticed the mental voices of my parents drawing closer. I suddenly felt embarrassed at what I had written, and looked around my room for a place to hide my journal. Carlisle had always respected my privacy, but I didn't like the idea of him seeing these particular thoughts.

He wouldn't understand, anyway. These weren't the sort of questions that he would approve of. And he would no doubt be hurt by my need to ask those questions. I was going to have to figure things out on my own. It wasn't like any of it really mattered, anyway. I had no intention of changing my diet. I also had no plans to leave my family.

Coven.

Demetri's words echoed in my mind. There comes a time when a young man—especially one with such a powerful gift—must begin to take control of his own life. Do you not agree?

As Carlisle's footsteps echoed on the stairs, I stuffed my journal back behind a row of books at the bottom of my shelves. By the time I returned to my chair, Carlisle was in the room standing over me with his friendliest smile. His eyes were light gold, lighter than they had been in weeks. I had never noticed how odd it looked.

"You didn't miss much," he told me. "Only a small herd of deer. Maybe next weekend we could all take a trip up into Canada."

I nodded my agreement. Maybe a change of scenery was what I needed to snap out of my brooding."In fact," Carlisle continued, "I'd like to take an extended trip sometime soon. Perhaps we could continue on to Denali and pay a visit to our cousins—I'd like to talk to Eleazar about our recent encounter."

I frowned. Visiting the Denali coven was what had made the Volturi aware of me in the first place. It wouldn't do, though, to let that stop us from maintaining our friendships. At any rate, there was nothing new in the past month that we needed to keep hidden. "All right."

Carlisle continued standing by my desk. I glanced up at him, waiting for his thoughts to clue me in on what he really wanted to talk about. He was thinking about how quiet I had been since our visitors had come.

You and I never got a chance to really talk about what happened. I want you to know how proud I am of your choice to remain with us.

I raised my eyebrows. It wasn't as if he had given me a choice. Demetri was the only one who spoke as if I was capable of making my own decisions. And I had made one; I had no wish to go with Demetri. I certainly had no desire to cross paths with Jane anytime soon, either.

Edward… I realize I jumped in and spoke for you that night. I just didn't want you to bear the burden of such a choice without knowing what kind of people the Volturi really are. I still haven't told you all I know about them, or what joining them would have involved. But I apologize if I offended you by answering on your behalf. I was only trying to protect you.

Protect me?

"There's nothing to forgive," I answered automatically. Satisfied, he nodded and left the room.

It wasn't the first time I had ever lied to my father, but it felt like it. Deep in the corner of my mind, something changed.

THE END

Welcome new readers! I hope you enjoyed the first installment. Please take a moment to review if you have the time—I am still working on Tale of Years (both the main stories and the outtakes/one-shots) and I love chatting with readers as they go along.

Tale of Years: 1927 is up next. It's up to you if you want to read right through all the main stories in Edward's POV, or if you want to read the outtakes along with the stories in chronological order—they're all in the fic titled "Tale of Years: Stars Along the Way." Happy reading! :)