Chapter Two: A Water-Side Supper With Riparian Entertainments
(Author's Note: Thanks for the great response on this story! Please review and let me know what you think. And, as always, keep reading!)
Thorin sat down beside his trusted friend and lieutenant, his cousin, Dwalin, to eat his lunch.
He very rarely allowed the Company to stop for lunch, in fact, he had only done so, in order to speak to Dwalin.
And to see just how bold his nephew was.
Still, everyone was glad have food and rest, so they were making the most of it.
Especially Bella Baggins, going back for seconds.
Thorin watched her make her way back to Fili and Kili, and sit between them.
"Looking into my circle, Dwalin, what do your keen eyes see that mine do not."
Dwalin laughed.
"Fili has a bruise on his face that tells me you see very well, Thorin. But, I see many things. Alone, they mean little. But together? They mean much. Look now, at how the Hobbit sits between Kili and Fili. Not beside Kili, with Fili on his other side. Between them. That is how she sleeps, most of the time. Between them. On her back, and they they both sleep on their sides, facing away from her, towards the dangers that may lurk in the night. And while she slept, Fili felt free to reach into her pack, when he was hungry. Where she keeps her stays, and her leggings and whatever it is that the women of the Shire carry for…necessity. A man does not root through a strange woman's personal things, and a woman does not react with indifference to it, when he does. Besides, Fili knew just where to look for the food, as well. That, and have you ever known a man's braids to need doing, so often?"
"I have not seen so much as you have, but I'm not blind. So, you agree with me, then, that it's not Fili's braids that need doing?"
"I think we can be sure of that. But there is more in this than meets the eye. When I look into your circle, Thorin, I see one nephew who will not have the girl you both lay claim to, right under your nose. But, I see another who intends that at the end of this quest, to have himself and his brother standing at the altar. And you can lie down in the bed, but it will be his bed, and his wife, and you'll be the one creeping up the hidden stairs. Not him. Or Kili."
"Who is content to let his brother do their dirty work, while he can appear to be the good son, to me. Meanwhile, as soon as they heard of this Coruadan, and heard Gandalf and I speaking, they likely hatched this plan! It was, Kili, you're the romantic one, you go and win Bella's heart back for us, but don't forget to show her what she'll have from a Dwarf that she'd never get out of that Elf who wants to steal her from us. Then, when we're on the road, you can be the good little boy who would never compete with his own uncle, and I'll be the villain who says, come on, Bella, we'll show the old bastard, and roll her over in the clover, every chance I get. She can forgive Uncle Thorin after she's married to us! The scheming little bastards!"
But Thorin thought it was a fine scheme, and he laughed with pride in the boys for having thought of it, in spite of himself.
Dwalin laughed, too.
"Why, the very fookin' nerve of it, Thorin, those boys of yours tryin' to steal back the woman you stole from them!" he replied.
Thorin hadn't thought of that, and he laughed, too.
"There he goes, again, telling Bella his braids need doing.I knew he would, he's a bold son of an orc! And it's the middle of the fookin' day! What about me, then? I wouldn't mind having my braids done, after lunch, meself!" Thorin joked.
He laughed, and Dwalin laughed with him.
"Nor would I. I've a tattoo I'd like to show your girl. If push comes to shove, you and I, we could make her forget those boys of yours."
"That would be a dirty trick. But not one I'm above."
The two of them laughed, again.
The very idea that two boys, Thorin's nephews, or not, could either rival or out think him was ridicudlous.
The funny thing about Fili's braids is that they need a lot of doing.
He was in the habit of tying back his hair when he was riding, so it would stay out of his face, and that would usually result in his braids coming undone.
Somehow.
For instance, we had stopped travelling, briefly, for lunch, a privilege that slave-driving Thorin rarely let us have, and and I had barely finished before Fili was dragging me from his uncle's sight, as his braids needed doing.
Of course, I'm sure you realise that it wasn't Fili's braids that needed doing.
Even as Kili was overly discreet, Fili seemed convinced that he was dragon fodder, and he was Hell-bent to get his leg over as much as he could, before the end came.
Of the two brothers, Kili was my ardent, impetous, romantic lover, and Fili was my rough and ready very good friend.
My involvement with the Heirs of Durin began 5 or 6 Springs before, at a fair in Bree, where my taste for tall, burly, beardy blonds, and Fili's partiality for curvy, busty, dark-haired tough girls with scant beards intersected, and it has been lust and camaraderie that has been between us all along.
The Baggins in me told me to be more careful, on this trip, but every time Fili gave me that lewd look and told me about his braids, my Tookish side threw caution to the wind.
Now, Fili, he was the master of what the lads at the Green Dragon called the knee-trembler.
Although he was a fine fellow for the marathon, he was just as good at the sprint; give him ten minutes with his boots on and he'd show you a better time than most men could if they had all night.
But, five minutes at lunchtime?
That was too much.
"We are going to get caught! You and your braids!"
Or so I said, as he dragged me by the hand, through the brush.
Looking for a good, strong tree.
"What if we do get caught? Uncle will send Dwalin after us, because he wouldn't have knocked me on me arse if he hadn't figured out that no one's braids come undone so often, and all Dwalin will say is that we had better hurry it up, because we've a long way to go before we camp."
That was all the time Fili needed to unbutton my shirt and my jacket, and to strip himself to the waist, weapons and all.
Half his work was done, at that, because it put me in mind of the last time, so I was undoing the laces on his breeches, even as he pressed by shoulders against the tree, and came in close for a smirk and a kiss, sliding his hand up under my kilt.
And me with no woolies on!
I certainly had been having quite an adventure!
"You don't care if we get caught, Bella." Fili whispered in my ear.
Fili lifted me up, under my arse and I hopped into his arms, and wound my legs around him.
"You don't care about the dragon, or the treasure, or if any of the three of us love you, or if you love us. This is what you care about. It's all you care about. That's why you're my girl."
He laughed, and slowly drew my earlobe from between first his teeth, then his lips.
"Ask me for it, Bella."
Oh no.
A Took does not play that game.
I reached between us and got my hand around, well, barely, the apprentice blacksmith's hammer, and I got a good moan out of him when I put it in, for him.
"You know me, Fili. I don't ask."
Well that got him going, and he got me going, and we went hard at it.
So hard that the branches on the tree shook, and we were showed in spring leaves.
It didn't take either of us very long to rush to the finish, and it was a race we both won.
But, one thing Fili hadn't counted on was the time it would take us both to catch our breath, and dress.
I was still leaning against the tree and Fili was still leaning against me, he hadn't even got his cock out of me, when we heard Dwalin crashing through the brush.
That began a frantic scramble, on unsteady legs, for both of us.
But Dwalin stopped short of finding us, to save us the embarrassment.
"Have you got your braids done, Fili lad?" he asked.
With some little degree of mirth in his voice.
"Yes." Was all Fili replied.
"Good. Because you're holding up progress."
I had to hold up progress a little longer, cleaning up my kilt, for in the scramble for our clothes, Fili had made a mess of it.
And I really did have to do one of his braids up him, again.
Thorin came crashing through the brush, angrily, as I was braiding Kili's hair.
The game was up
"By Thor, boy, we haven't all dragged ourselves out onto the Great East Road, and taken Bella Baggins from where she was safe at home so's you could get your end off whenever the fancy strikes you! Now, it's morning, noon and night you're dragging the girl into the brush! Durin's beard, boy, what sort of courtship do you call that? She knows you're good for it, already, probably has for years! At least your brother makes an effort to be a gentleman! Now look at you, you're all worn in! And Bella doesn't even look tired! D'you know why she fooks you so often? Because it takes three or four times for her to get anything out of it! A man dinna make love to the girl he's going to marry up against a tree with his boots on, like she were some whore he paid for in ha 'pennies. Try an' remember that!"
Thorin reached for my hand, and when he got me close enough, he picked me up.
"You might cut your bare feet on on this forest floor, Bella. Your legs are already scratched up, from the brambles. Well, boy? Move your arse! Sharpish!"
Fili looked angry, but he said nothing about the way Thorin had rebuked him.
After we got underway, I expected a rebuke from Thorin, too.
But when he called me to the front of the column, it wasn't a rebuke I got.
"They are in it together, Bella. Trying to trick you into marrying them, and not me. Playin' both ends against the middle. Kili takes you for walks and says pretty things to you, and Fili takes you against rocks and says dirty things to you. There's more to being a woman married to two men than gettin' yourself screwed, morning, noon and night. Keep your wits about you, girl. Think about what it would be like, to be responsible for lookin' after both of 'em. Then you'd find yourself screwed, good and proper."
That was very good advice.
And after we lost the ponies, I had more reason to consider it.
It was only a night or three after the Battle of the Braids that Dwalin had me take two bowls of food to Fili and Kili while they watched the ponies.
They were both staring at our ponies as if something very strange was going on.
"Bella, there are 14 of us, and 14 ponies, are there not?" Fili asked me.
"Yes. Why?"
"Because now there are only nine." Kili replied.
"How could there be only nine when you're watching them."
"We're watching them disappear. Why don't you go and see what's happening?" Fili suggested
"Me? Why?"
"You're smaller than we are. And you can move quicker and quieter than the wind." Kili added
Fili took the bowls from me.
"You are the burglar, Bella. This is your line. Did you think it was going to be all braiding and bickering?" he joked.
"What if something happens?"
"Hoot like a screech owl. Kili and I will come to your rescue. Immediately."
"Well, I don't know. I want to go on record as saying this seems like a terrible idea. But I am the burglar. If someone is stealing our ponies, it's my job to steal them back."
I should have listened to my instincts and not the desire I had to prove I was agood burglar,
Can you guess how my investigations turned out?
I'll give you a hint.
Badly.
There is no great difficulty in being a Took.
Or in being a Baggins.
The difficulty is in being both.
And while the Baggins bit of me may have congratulated herself for standing on her principles, with the mess we were now in, my Tookishness cursed me for not having sat in Thorin's lap, instead.
And Kili's, too.
Of course, in hindsight, sometimes, you do question some of your choices.
And, with all of the company packed into sacks by trolls, and half of them roasting on a spit, it did make me glad that I had gone with Fili to do up his braids, but I did wish that Kili and I weren't so guilty about his Uncle being around, or about how I had been so standoffish with Thorin, a few nights before.
Oh well.
Hindsight is 20-20.
And nothing is impossible, Gandalf says.
I thought I saw him, on top of the hill.
But, maybe it was the sun I saw.
I wracked my brains, thinking of something I could say to distract the trolls long enough for the sun to come up.
Then, it came to me.
The trolls had stripped my companions of their clothes before putting them into sacks, but when they went to strip me, Balin had protested that I was a woman, and they should have some decency, and roast me with my clothes on.
"A lady?" the troll called Bert exclaimed.
"We can't eat a lady. Raw, or cooked. It wouldn't be right." Tom added.
"I suppose you're right." Bill agreed.
And he had put me down.
That gave me a brilliant idea.
I walked over to the troll who seemed to be in charge.
"Excuse me, Mr. Bill, sir?"
"What is it, now? We're trying to discuss how to cook your friends."
"Well, it's just that, that one you've got over there? On the pile, and not on the spit. The younger one?"
"The beardless one?"
"Well he has go the beginnings of a beard. But yes, that's him. He's asked me to marry him. We've only just got back together. You see, I ah, well I just had a fella rob me blind and leave me at the altar. It would be just awful if I lost the fella I wanted to marry, to begin with, to being a troll's dinner. That and, you know, him and I being so close and all, I don't think I could bear to see you rip his legs off. Especially the one in the middle. Do you think you could let him go free?"
"Go on, Bill. Poor little mite was left at the altar. What's one less?" Tom urged.
"Well, he's not a meaty as the rest of them, anyway. Let the young one go, Bert." Bill decided.
They cut Kili out of the sack.
He caught on quickly.
"Erm, sirs? I thank you so much for my life. But we're Dwarves . And with Dwarves, you know, sometimes two brothers marry the same girl. And you've got him on the spit. My brother. My only brother. He's the blond fellow."
"The blue-eyed one?" Bill asked
"We can't eat the other groom, can we, Bill?" Tom wheedled.
"Wouldn't be proper. Now, before I get any further along, here, are any of these other little fellas involved in your wedding?" Bill asked
"I'm the boys' uncle! They've got no father and I raised them from the time that one was a little boy and the other was an infant." Thorin announced.
"That and my future wife, she's my Uncle's girl, as well. You know. Keeping it in the family." Kili explained.
"You're a very patient girl, aren't you, Miss?" Bert observed.
By the time Gandalf and dawn came, I had Fili, Kili, Thorin and Dwalin free.
But, after we got everyone out of their sacks, Thorin blamed it all on me.
And his nephews.
"I said this was no job for a woman! And a Hobbit at that! If you hadn't been poking around those trolls, none of this would have happened! Of course, if you boys had done your job, and minded the ponies, then the girl wouldn't have had to come to your rescue! Did one of you have the brilliant idea to send the little Hobbit girl into the mouth or peril, while you had your dinner, or did the both of you strategic geniuses fookin' well think that up, together? And you think you're ready for marriage? And you too, Bella? I turn my back on the three of you for one bloody moment and you almost get us all eaten alive! By the short and curly hair's of Durin's second beard, why did I bring fookin' women an' children on this quest?" He insisted.
"I didn't hear any of the rest of you, including you, Thorin, coming up with any ideas of how to distract the trolls until sunrise." Gandalf protested.
"I should not have had to! You're another one, Gandalf? What good is having a wizard on your quest when he's only around when it's time to smoke and eat, but if something goes wrong, he can't be found? Never mind. Well, considering we all spent the night fighting trolls, and then being stripped naked and either turned on a spit or stuffed into sacks, we'll have to get some sleep, today, before we press on." Thorin decided.
"It'll be safe and quiet and dark in that cave." Dwalin suggested.
But it wasn't just safe and dark and quiet, it was also the site of a great troll horde.
Some of what they had was worthless, but they also had a few heaps of treasure, and a cache of weapons.
Gandalf and Thorin both helped themselves to a new blade, as Bifur and Bofur packed some treasure into sacks and chests, and buried it.
Making a long-term investment, they said.
As for me, I filled my purse with gold coins, and the reserve purse in my pack.
Just in case we needed a little extra money.
But even as Thorin was insisting, after he had marveled at the quality of the blade he had found, that he didn't want it because it was Elvish, I saw, under some cobwebs and bones, the hilt of a short sword.
Short for an Elf, but it would be just about perfect for me.
I picked it up, and after getting rid of the rotted leather belt, I pulled the sword out if it's scabbard.
"Thorin! Zagar-zu ai-menu rumun!"
That is Khuzdul for 'Up your arse with my sword."
As soon as I said it, Thorin drew his blade, to parry my thrust, and the two blades actually sparked together.
The spark was blue.
"Well picked, Bella. Your blade is also of Elf make." Gandalf encouraged me.
"Don't encourage the girl! And who taught you rude oaths in Khuzdul?" Thorin demanded.
"Fili."
Actually, I had picked up quite a bit of Khuzdul, in the time I knew Thorin.
Most of it was fairly filthy too, as I had picked it up from listening to him curse, or when he was panting over me.
And he spent a lot of time doing both, I can tell you.
"Your burglar is quick with a sword, Gandalf. I hope she is as quick in battle as she is at fookin' about." Thorin replied.
He began busily supervising the separating of the wheat from the chaff, as far as the troll horde, and I affixed the scabbard of the short sword to the belt my axe hung from.
"Oh no! The Hobbit has a sword! Let's see if you can fence with a mattock !" Bofur cried.
He was pretty good with that rock hammer of his, and we made Bifur laugh.
He spoke to me, in Khuzdul, and, albeit haltingly, I replied in kind.
He said that I looked natural with sword in my hand, and I told him that all Tooks are born armed.
"You're a fair hand with our language." Balin commented.
"I picked it up along the way."
I kept poking through the troll horde, and I found a very good bow.
I decided I'd keep it, for Kili.
I kept digging, until I found this great, whopping, studded warhammer.
That was for Fili.
Can't get something for one brother and not for the other.
Well, actually, I could have found Fili the hammer and not taken the bow for Kili, and he wouldn't have said a thing, but although Kili looks more like his uncle than Fili does, Fili is a little more like him in his personality.
So, there I was, with sword and hammer and axe and bow, just bristling with weapons.
"You are beginning to look like a Dwarf yourself, Bella. Heavily laden with weapons." Gandalf chuckled.
"Like a Took, Gandalf." I corrected him.
Dori discovered that if we went a little further into the cave it was neither dirty nor smelly, and all of us laid ourselves down to rest.
Quarters in the cave were more cramped than outside, so I wouldn't be able to go to sleep without being close by to someone.
And Gandalf had disappeared again, saying he had to speak to Radagast the Brown, his colleague, while we slept.
I found myself a little corner, unrolled my pallet and blanket, took off my woolies, and my jacket and waistcoat, and lay down to sleep, with my head resting on my backpack, facing the wall.
I drowsed as I listened to my companions selling in, and I was almost asleep when I felt someone's back up against mine.
I knew it wasn't Thorin, I could tell.
So, I guessed.
"Kili?"
"Was it you, who found me that fine bow in the troll horde?" he whispered.
"I hoped it was a good bow." I whispered back.
"It will be, once I get it cleaned up. Have you really chosen me, or did you just say that to the trolls?"
"Well, despite you promising my mother you'd be the provider of the grandchildren she eagerly awaits, I don't know, yet, Kili. After all, there's always Dwalin. He's a mean, fierce old bear, to be sure! But you're at the head of the pack."
"Behind my Uncle. And my brother."
"Well I can't very well marry one of you without marrying the other, could I? Him and his braids! You haven't thought of that, with all your talk of marriage, have you?"
"You're put it in the contract, Bella."
"I know. I wasn't thinking of Fili. Probably because he would rather shave his head and his chin bald than even think about a wedding. And I could never marry your Uncle could I? You can't pollute Durin's line with Hobbit blood."
"You're not just a Hobbit, Bella. You're a Took. Would you marry him? My Uncle. If you could."
"No. I wouldn't. Not if he was the last man on Earth."
"Why are you so angry at him?"
"Why are we whispering?"
"Because me Uncle has eyes and ears in the back of his head! I'll still marry you. Even if you quit being angry with him. I mean, after all, he is me Uncle. I can look the other way, you know, a bit, for me own Uncle. Listen, I know it's not much of a courtship, but tonight, when we're not in this cave, maybe you and I, we could take a little walk, again."
Kili and I had been taking a lot of little walks, at night, after everyone else was asleep.
The odd thing about it was that if Thorin knew, I'm sure he would have assumed that the moment we were out of sight and earshod, that Kili and I were going after it, hammer and tongs, every which way that we could think of.
Actually, we spent most of our time talking about him.
What he expected of us, in contrast to what we might want, which we knew were only pipedreams, as long as Thorin Oakenshield lived and breathed.
"I'd think you ought to be getting tired of walking with me. You're a patient man, Kili, nephew of Thorin."
"You're the only one who thinks so."
"That you're patient, or that you're a man?"
"Both. And it's not patience. It's guilt. You know I love you, Bella. It's only that, I know my Uncle does, too. I just can't…well I can't drag you off into the woods , right under his nose. Not as long as you and he are arguing. I don't know why I bother, though, because Uncle Thorin thinks I'm an idiot boy, and that I don't bother to look before I leap. Anyway, Balin's going to make a diversion for us, tonight. Get Uncle Thorin telling war stories."
"That'll work. That's Thorin's favorite subject. How majestic and magnificent he is. Do we need a diversion?"
"Yes. I have something very important I have to tell you."
I tried not to look disappointed.
We both fell quiet for awhile.
"I wish that fookin' troll hadn't called me the beardless one! It's embarrassing. Fili's had his beard since he was twenty. My mother says Uncle's beard started growing when he was still in his teens. Ori's even younger than I am, and he has a beard! I'm a grown man! Well, very 's me fookin' beard? All I've got is stubble!" Kili hissed.
"I saw it, today, when the troll let you out of that sack. I think you have quite a beard. The rest of you isn't so bad, neither. Honestly, after seeing the rest of this lot in the altogether? Your chances are gettin' better every day." I replied
Kili and I laughed, as quietly as we could.
"I wish I could un-see Bombur without his kit on." Kili whispered back.
"Me too. And what about Dwalin? Wouldn't it hurt, gettin' that bit of you tattooed?"
"He's the toughest Dwarf in all Middle Earth. When I was younger, before he went bald, he had his whole head shaved, except for this bit in the middle, that stuck straight up in the air. Like the brush on an ancient helmet. Even without it, he's about as fearsome as they come."
"I can see that."
"You haven't got you eye on him, have you, Bella?"
"I've got my hands on you, haven't I?"
"Not now! Not in here! We're all too close together."
"Where, then? What's troubling you? You've never been one to roll over and have a headache, but it's always not now and not here? Where then? When? After the dragon has roasted us all to a turn? Like those trolls wanted to?"
"Well, we can't just…just do it, right under Uncle's very nose, can we?"
"He's never had any scruples about doing it to me, right under your nose, has he, Kili?"
"That's true."
"What about tonight, then? After we've talked."
"What? Now you've had a look at it, again, you can't think of anything else?"
"Now that I've had a look at all of you, I can't."
"Bella…"
"Hey! You said not in here, we're all too close together!"
"I can't help it! I'm being carried away by the moment! The cave goes further back. We'll roll ourselves a bit further into the shadows…"
"Now those are the kind of words I like to hear from you, Kili…"
"Oh, Bella, I love you so much…forgive me for neglecting you…"
"Oooh, Kili!..you are forgiven..."
Yes, I would have done it, too.
Because you can't really plan these sorts of things, and I had discovered that when Kili gets to walking and talking, he manages to find a way to talk himself out of it.
Well, as it turns out, it was too close in the cave.
Because Thorin spotted us, trying to steal away into the shadows.
"Oi! Bella! Kili! You two quit that over there! You're keeping us all awake, as it is! We took this rest so that you could get some sleep! And I don't want you two children malingering when we're walking thirty miles, complaining about how tired you are because you decided to whisper to each other all morning and roll around in the back of the cave!" Thorin rebuked us.
"Odin's eye, Thorin, don't be such a bastard to the lad and the lassie. They're young. Let them enjoy their youth!" Dwalin rebuked Thorin.
"Not in here. We're all too close together. Especially you, there in the back, my old friend! So close that you might be able to find that tattooed cock of yours made welcome by our curious burglar, and fit yourself in, so you can enjoy some of Bella's youth, after the boy's rolled over and gone to sleep! Nothing doing! Miss Baggins is our burglar, if any of you have any ideas otherwise, forget it. We're bound to come upon a whorehouse sooner or later and if we don't, Gandalf wants to takes us to Rivendell and that's just as good. Better, as you lot won't have to pay, those Elf women will make you all feel very welcome. Kili, Bella, get away from the back, and come over here with Fili where I can keep an eye on all three of you."
Thorin knew me too well.
I had been curious about Dwalin since I had met him, at Bag End, and I was even more curious after seeing his tattoo.
And nearly meeting my death had put in me in a strange, driven, compulsive desperation to get myself laid.
It was almost instinctual, and I think I would have yielded myself to almost any man, to satisfy it.
"I don't think you should be giving your Company the impression that all Elf woman are free with their favors." Gandalf huffed.
"Says you, who's known to spend a lot of time with Queen Galadriel, as her old man's another Elvin eunuch."
"I have only had the benefit of Queen Galadriel's council!' Gandalf protested.
"Aye and I'll bet you're hoping she'll be visiting at Rivendell so you can get up to your grey-bearded bollocks in her council, before you have them singed to cinders by Smaug." Thorin finished.
"Bella Baggins is right about you, Thorin Oakenshield! You are a crude, profane, bastard of a dirty old man!"
Gandalf got up and swearing loudly to himself, left the cave.
Again.
"I'll be damned, I was right!" Thorin said.
Everyone had a good laugh, Kili and I moved, and then we all went to sleep.
Thorin marched us forty miles that day, if he marched us one, and I felt as though he made everyone suffer for Kili and I having had a bit of a laugh, together.
The last thing that I wanted to do that night was any more walking, but I wasn't going to let Thorin get his way.
The good news is that even he was exhausted after all that hoofing, and he didn't notice Kili and I stealing away.
We didn't so much have a walk as a short limp a little way into the wood.
"What I need is a bath, a cold mug of ale, a hot meal, and a warm bed. If I was home, in the Shire, I'd be safe and warm, with a full belly, sound asleep. And here I am, on my way to go get burnt up by some bloody dragon. And we've barely got any water to drink, let alone to wash with. "
"I'm not ashamed to tell you, Bella, ever since those trolls got hold of me, I've been wishing I was back home, in the Blue Mountains."
"Soon you'll be in your proper home, Erabor."
"Or burnt to a crisp by Smaug. Durin's beard, I'd settle for just the bath."
"Is that really all you want, Kili? A bath?"
"No. Don't you think you might have left something you need off of your list, too?"
Sure, we might have been talking about it, planned it, even, but even as Kili was thinking about woolies down and kilt up, and I was thinking about having seen his beard, once again, we might as well have had Thorin standing two feet behind us, his presence was so heavy between us.
A long, sad, frustrated moment passed between us, and then I heard a promising sound.
"We might have the bath, anyway! Am I losing my mind, or do you hear water?"
The very idea of water made us quicken our pace, and we followed the sound through a tangle of brush, and came upon rushing water that was either a very large stream or a small river.
It was early spring, but it had been a warm day, and the night's chill hadn't really set in yet, and it had been a long, sweaty, backbreaking walk.
"Water! It's water!"
"Mahal be praised! I'll go and tell the others!"
Of course , the first order of business was for us all to fill up out canteens, but inasmuch as there were pots to wash and clothes to clean, there was also some fun to be had, if you were under 200.
Kili and Fili were the first out of their clothes and into the water, and soon after that Ori and Nori and then Bifur and Bofur.
As for Baggins the Burglar, I got my scarf from my pack and made a breechcloth, like the wild men wear in Rhovanion, and I took off everything but my short stays, and jumped into the water, too.
Of the older and middle aged dwarves, only Dwalin stripped down and hopped in, but Oin and Gloin and Dori and Bombur and Balin all put their feet in the water, and stripped down to their shirtsleeves, and washed their faces and hands.
Gandalf laughed to see us all having such a good time, and you know, I forgot all about Thorin until we heard a Dwarven war cry, and Thorin swung from a vine on the bank and into the water with a great splash.
Another grand entrance, indeed.
Balin came up with a large cake of soap, and we soon made it the world's largest bathtub.
While everyone, even our chieftain was distracted, Kili got out of the water, went and got our clothes from one side of the bank, took them over to the other and then got back in the water, and reminded me that now was our chance.
I didn't know that at the time, but when we got out of the water on the other bank, there're were our clothes.
Kili grabbed all of our things in one arm, and me in the other and we made our way into the brush.
When we found a small clearing he laid his cloak down on top of it, and we lay down on his cloak.
That feeling I'd had earlier, it was getting worse and worse.
"I have to tell you something, Bella."
"Can't it wait?" I asked.
"No. Because as long as my Uncle is around, I can't say it. I do not doubt for a minute that he loves you. I know this because I know that Uncle Thorin loves Fili and I, too. But not as much as he loves even the thought of great-grandfather's gold. The only thing he wants more than the gold is to have his throne, and for our people to reclaim Erabor. But, more than both, he wants his revenge. He is poisoned by his desire for power and money and revenge, and Uncle's desires poison everything he touches, and everything he loves. Uncle Thorin, would have you forget it. I don't wonder you'll want to forget it, yourself. And I'm not saying you shouldn't, at least for awhile. Because this time we have until we reach this home that I have never seen, so far away from the home you and I know, it might be the only time any of us have."
Kili stopped talking.
"Go on, Kili. Out with the rest of it." I encouraged him.
"I should be angry at you. For throwing me over for my Uncle. But, then again, you never threw me over, did you?"
"You and I were good friends, very good friends, before I met Thorin. Let alone went mad over him. He's never been faithful to any woman a day in his life. Why should I have insulted you, and destroyed our friendship, on his account? In the end, your friendship turned out to be something far better than his love."
I tried not to speak, bitterly.
But I did, anyway.
"He had no right. Do you know, I said to him, once, Uncle, you can have, you have had, hundreds, maybe even thousands of women. Why did you have to take mine?"
"Kili-"
"Let me finish, Bella. He said, I love her. And I said, that I loved you, too, and I was there, first. Uncle just laughed, and said that there was room enough in your bed and your heart, for both of us."
He stopped again.
"Just say what's on your mind."
"It's disloyal. And disrespectful."
The thing you have to understand about Kili, and for that matter, Fili, is that they had no father but Thorin.
I don't mean to say that Thorin was his sister's husband, now, but he raised both of them like they were his own sons.
So, I chose my words carefully.
"Kili, you honestly owe neither respect or loyalty to me, or Thorin, in matters of the heart."
"Well, it's only that, if all goes well, and we have a future, any of us, I think you should know that I have no desire for revenge. Or for a giant heap of gold. Or to sit on a throne. I just want to live long enough to see to it my uncle and my people get what they deserve, and then go home. To the Blue Mountains, and the Shire and Bree and all the other places I've known and loved all my life. My uncle does not love you, or life, or good food, good cheer, and even his own family, as much as he loves his crown and his hoard. But I do. Marry me, Bella. I do not blame or fault you for loving Thorin, because I love him, too. Though quite differently. I will give you what you want from my Uncle, what he wants to give you, but he can never give, and from him, you will never have. From both of us, and for his sake and mine, I love you, and I will be a good husband to you. All the days of my life."
"You really would marry me, even though you know I love your Uncle?"
"Yes. Because I know you love me, too. And if we should all survive, and my uncle becomes King Under the Mountain, if he should come to Bag End, unexpectedly, and tell me that I am sleeping in the spare room for awhile, I won't mind going. Because I know that after his visit, he'll be going back to his throne and his treasure, and may they both make him very happy, but I will be staying with you."
You know I started to cry?
Kili took me in his arms, and he held me, and kissed me, very sweetly and lightly and gently, as if he could kiss away my tears.
But those chaste kisses soon became deep, and hungry, and passionate.
I pushed my body up against Kili's, and he pulled me tighter into his arms, and stole the breath from my lips with his kisses, moaning in his throat.
And then?
Well, I know you want to hear about it, and I wanted him to do it, but the only thing that happened then was that Kili pulled himself away from me.
And Belladonna Took shoved aside Belladonna Baggins, and angrily came to the fore.
I gave him another shove.
"Damn you, Kili, nephew of Thorin, what are you about! Odin's beard, but you do blow hot and cold! Is this part of the scheme you and Fili have cooked up, to make my mind up for me?"
"It's Fili's scheme, not mine! And if I was following it, I wouldn't have just pushed myself away from you, would I? Well, I don't think it's right! Because my Uncle is likely about to get out of the water, and wonder where we are, and come looking to send me back to camp, and probably get you to do his braids for him. Maybe you are angry enough at him, Bella, to want him to catch us in the act. But I am not. So, I must go."
I must say, on Kili's part, that it was a fine and noble thing he did.
But, it was a fine sort of spot for Kili to leave me in, for after he had said his fine and noble words of love, he did nothing to put weight behind them.
It is, I suppose a good thing for me, that when it comes to matters of the heart, there is nothing of nobility about Thorin Oakenshield.
I do not know if Thorin followed us, and lay in wait, eavesdropping, for Kili to nobly take his leave, but he strode out from the trees, barefoot and naked but for the loincloth he wore under his breeches, with his clothes over his arm, and his boots in his hand.
Oh, I think he had followed us, and he was listening, and his entrance was a master stroke, on the wily old sinner's part.
"And here you are, Thorin, all of the sudden! Having a moment of nakedness in the moonlight, while I am having a moment of weakness!"
"What do you expect, Bella? You drag him into the night, every night, on a man's business, but my younger nephew is not yet a man, but a beardless boy. Although he at least has honor, which is more than I can say for Fili, another boy trying to do a man's business and win himself a wife. Thinks he can fook you into marrying him, does he? Well, you already know you can have him, why would you want to marry him on top of it, and have to look after him!"
Thorin hung his clothes in the lowest branches of the closest tree, except for his cloak, which he laid on the grass, fur side up.
"Sit with me, Bella, my braids need doing. And we must have words. Not insults, this time." he told me.
And pulled me into his lap.
Dressed as I was, only in my kilt and shirtsleeves, with my shirt half unbuttoned.
Thorin kissed me, and so desperate was I, I squirmed in his lap, and nearly swooned.
But he intended to take his time with me.
"Poor Bella. Cold and wet and lonely, thinking on how her romantic walk ended in a community swim. Let me braid your hair, first. I noticed how it is always hanging in your face. This is the way our women fix that problem. The style is not complicated, but it will work, and it suits you. May I?"
Well I know that hair-braiding is a very significant thing, among Dwarves, when women do it for me, so I imagine it meant something very important that Thorin asked if he could braid my hair.
Especially considering that he never had before, in all the years I knew him.
I don't know exactly what it all meant, except that Thorin was serious about trying to make amends.
"Alright."
Thorin combed out my damp hair with his comb, and braided the two pieces of my hair in the front in two braids, and then wrapped those two long, thin braids around my head and braided them together into one.
All the while stroking my hair and kissing my ears and my neck, until I was trembling all over as if shivering from the cold.
He had two little mithril hair clips in his hand, engraved with Dwarven knots, and inlaid with a piece of turquoise, and used one to fix the two braids where they joined together, and one to fix them at the end.
He spoke to me, too, as he he went about his work, both seducing me and braiding my hair, deftly, with the able, confident hands of a master craftsman.
"What are these chips? A wedding gift?" I managed to ask.
"No. Bella, you may be a grown woman, but you remain far too young to be married. This is your first adventure, abroad in the wide world. I take care of my nephews because I am, for all practical purposes, their father. Why should you take on the responsibility, and believe me, it is a hell of a responsibility, when when you can leave things as they are? Enjoy your youth, my girl, for it is fleeting. You don't have any idea what I mean when I say that, do you?"
Thorin kissed me again, and this time his great hunger for me, as great as mine for him, rudely intruded into his deliberate seduction.
"By the gods, Thorin, hurry!" I panted.
"I had better say what I have to say, while I can! I think that marriage should be for the sake of love. And you do not love either of my lads. Fili doesn't care about it, and Kili is too young to understand even the meaning of the word. I am not a young man, anymore, Bella. And the years have worn hard on me thick old hide. I do not think that I will see 200, let alone 250. In thirty or forty years, Kili will be about a hundred, a grown man, and his brother ten years older. And you will be in your late sixties. Hardly middle-aged by the reckoning of you Tooks, who all have such long lifespans. Then you may marry with a full heart and a clear conscience. And I may go to my rest knowing that for the last years of my life, I had the pleasure and the comfort of my lands, my kingdom, my home, and the company of the only woman I have loved, since I was a stupid, silly boy, younger than my nephews. Will you think on it?"
Now, as he spoke, Thorin had unbuttoned my shirt, and he interrupted himself with kissing and caressing my breasts.
My lips felt as if they were swollen, and hot, and so did my nipples, and when Thorin's lips touched them, right after he asked me if I would think on it, I wound my fingers in his thick, black, grey-streaked curls, and let the first wave of my long-denied pleasure break over me.
"That's only once, Bella. By the time we get up from these furs, you'll have to count the number of trips to the moon I've given you in tens. But fisrt? My hair needs braiding."
I wanted to ask him why in the unholy hell we needed to do that for, but then I realised we were in the middle of some kind of Dwarven courtship ritual I didn't know a damn thing about.
That and I wanted so badly to get my hands on the man, I didn't care if it was only to braid his hair.
Thorin handed me his comb, and the clips for his braids, and I steadied my hands before I combed out the first bit of his damp hair that I would braid.
I steadied my nerves, too, and came up with something to say for myself.
"With a special apartment and a secret stair, leading from the king's rooms to that of the royal mistress. When she is not smoking her pipe in her garden, in the Shire. That is some kind of offer, for a King to make to a little Hobbit girl."
"I am not yet a King on my throne. Just a blacksmith in his only set of good clothes, leading a band of courageous fools on a fool's errand. I may finish this adventure back in the halls of my fathers, or I might finish it as a pile of bones, ash, and soot. Or lying dead with an Elf's arrow in my heart. Or a man's."
I fixed the clip on the end of one braid and before I started on the other, I couldn't help myself but run my hands over Thorin's broad, hairy chest.
"Finish me braids, girl! And be quick about it!" he growled.
"By all the gods, Thorin, what a man you are! So excuse me if I don't believe it. You're too tough, too strong, and too crafty of an old bastard to get yourself be taken by a lucky shot. Or an unlucky dragon."
But I knew he was right.
I was looking at Thorin's hair, not his face, but he put his hand under my chin and lifted my head so I had to look him in the eye.
"You're mine, Bella Baggins. That's my ring on your hand. You have not removed it since I put it on your finger. Would I insult you further, and ask you to be my kept woman? My nephew promised the Thain of the Shire and the clan of the Tooks, in the name of Dwarfkind, and the Heirs of Durin that your honor would be satisfied. I love you, girl. I am asking you to be my Queen."
I was so surprised to hear those words come from Thorin's lips that I dropped the braid from my hands.
And then I had my hands on either side of his face, and we were having another hungry, violent, passionate kiss.
I began to feel giddy and lazy and drunk with lust.
I even laughed, a little.
"You can't marry me, Thorin! Your heirs can't have Hobbit's blood!"
"Fili is my heir, Bella. And you give me too much credit, an old man like me, that there is any life left in my seed. Still, I would not be ashamed for my sons to have the blood of the Tooks. I do not expect your answer, now. Your contract says you'll pick your man at the journey's end. But it's me you love, Bella. Not my nephew. Either of them."
It was hard for me to find any words in my mouth but 'yes', sitting in Thorin's lap, throbbing with desire, and having been asked to be the Queen Under the Mountain.
But a Took is never utterly bereft of her senses, and I soon recovered mine.
With great difficulty.
"How can I marry a man I do not trust? And how do you presume to earn back my trust?"
"I've no fookin' idea! But I'll start with this. I did wrong by you and there's no excusing it. I am sorry."
I could not believe that I had heard what I thought I had heard.
For a moment, I was even snapped out of the trance of lust I had been happily lost in.
"Thorin, son of Thrain son of Thror, you miserable old bastard, did you just admit you were wrong and apologize?"
"I did."
"Why? Because you want to fuck me?"
"No. Because I was wrong, and I am sorry for it. Durin's beard, lass, I think it's a certainty I'm going to fook you! You're half naked, sitting in me lap; I don't think I'd need to fake an apology to get under your kilt, now, would I? Do you not think I can ever admit that I have been wrong? Or make an apology? Granted I think that's the…second or third time in me life I ever had. But even I can make the occasional mistake."
"Well, you're halfway to winning my trust back, by admitting you were wrong. And apologising."
Still I was so unmanned by that I did the second braid wrong, again.
So I undid the part of the second braid I had done.
"Bella! Fix it later, girl! That's good enough! " Thorin growled.
He'd had about enough of waiting, and so had I.
"And what does itt get me? My apology?" he asked.
"Just what you've come for." I replied.
Well, even a Hobbit does not live by bread alone, you know.
Thorin pushed my shirt from my shoulders, and unfastened my kilt, then unwound it from around my waist, and he'd gotten rid of his loincloth, too.
Leaving both of us gloriously naked.
"Do it again, Thorin!"
"Do what, my little love?"
"What you done, before. When you had me pushed up against that tree. I've never had it done as well as you do, Thorin. I'll do it to you, too, I want to. I do! All at once! You've got more than one go in you, for me, don't you? Let's just do it that way, the first time."
"You're a dirty little thing, Bella. You belong with a dirty old man, like me. Whatever you want, my girl..."
Have I used the word glorious, already?
Well, so what if I have, because glorious is what it was, and glorious is how Thorin made me feel, and there's no other word for it.
Gods, if the vicar had been there a few minutes after we were through, I would have married Thorin and not thought twice about it.
For those of you hearing my tale who are men, you won't know what I mean, but for the women, do you know the way you only seem to come your lot in your dreams, and you wake up and wonder, why can't I do it like that when I'm awake?
That's the way Thorin made me feel, and that was before I had the pleasure, well, I'll be a fool, a stupid, love-struck fool, about it and say it, the pleasure and the privilege of having him on top of me, Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain.
I kept my eyes open the whole time, too, because I wanted to see his face.
There wasn't one other man in the world, and I forgot all the wrongs, even the worst one, that Thorin ever did me, while I had him in my arms and between my legs, panting over me in Khuzdul how he loved me, finding the spot, the spot that breaks the world like a dropped dish when he hit it every stoke with his lovely big cock, and I might have even told him, kissed him on the lips and told him that I loved him too.
I did, I told him many times, I fairly screamed it at the top of my lungs.
And I meant it, too.
But.
Certainly there's a but, there always is, isn't there?
But the plain fact is that all of it couldn't erase the kind of betrayal between Thorin and me, and love doesn't either.
I told him so and all, as soon as I caught my breath.
Do you want to know what he said?
If I tell you, it'll spoil the whole works, but I'll tell you, anyway.
Thorin laughed, and he laughed loudly, and for a long time.
"Durin's brass balls, Bella, if I have your love, an' you'll be doin' up my braids the way you've done Fili's, I can fookin' wait for the rest. It's a damn sight better than havin' nothin' but your disgustyou're your Tookish lip, which is all I've had for me trouble, ever since we left Bag End!"
Well, at least he's an honest man, for all his faults, Thorin is.
And I can overlook quite a few faults, and try very hard to regain me trust in him, even after what he done to me, for such a man as Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror.
By the time Thorin and I returned to camp, Bombur had a fire going, and everyone was queuing up for dinner.
Which was odd, because we had already had a meal.
If you could call such a meagre and piss poor snack as we'd had earlier a meal, that is.
Kili was the hero of the day, for he had taken a deer with his new bow, and in clean clothes with venison on the menu, everyone was in good spirits.
He came running up to both of us, full of his big story.
He picked me up and kissed me and spun me around and then put me down and started describing his victory.
"Did you do that, Uncle? You hair looks beautiful, Bella. Fili's going to be mad but I don't care. I'll braid you when I braid you, Bella, because I love you, you and this bow you found me! The doe, I got her right through the eye! You both should have seen me! I was on the other side of the riverbank, and there she was, on the far side! But not by the bank. She was all the way up to the top of the hill, halfway back to camp. But the wind was right, and this bow you found me, Bella, it must have been made for or by one of the gods! I took my time, and I lined up the shot. You should have seen the arrow fly!" Kili told us.
"I couldn't believe the lad even tried, let alone made the shot! And right through the eye! And it's a fine hide." Dwalin told us, beaming with pride.
"I wish I had been there to see it, Kili lad. What will you do with the hide?" Thorin asked.
"Well, after I tan it, I thought I would ask Nori to use some of it to make a pair of sandals for Bella. He can keep the rest, as payment. Would you ask him for me, Uncle?"
"Ask him, yourself, Kili. You're old enough, now. But don't let the rogue cheat you. If he does, I'll take the difference out of his hide!"
On my grandfather's soul, did I feel guilty!
"Kili, I don't wear shoes."
"You should, on a journey like this! And us with no ponies! What if your feet get cut up, on some rocks? Or if you should step on an old arrowhead, or a snake would bite you? They'd only be sandals."
"You should consider it, Bella, and not be such a stubborn Took." Thorin recommended.
"I'll think about it." I said.
Kili looked crestfallen.
Dwalin noticed the look on his face and called Thorin away
"What's the matter, Kili?"
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No. I have. Your Uncle…I…"
"Is that all? I know that, Bella, I can see your braids, can't I? Why would I be upset about you and Uncle patching up your differences?"
"You really don't care, do you, Kili?"
"I never have. So, then, you'll accept my gift?"
"I'll try the sandals. They may come in handy. Especially when it's cold."
All of the sudden, I felt as though things had greatly improved.
"You know what we need, to go with our feast. Potatoes. I just saw a bunch of them, on my way back. I think I'll do some chips."
Bombur and Dori didn't usually let anyone near their cooking, but they'd had mine , so I was allowed near fire with my frying pan, and I did up fifteen potatoes for chips if I did one.
We all had a fine meal, and for the first time in a long time, everyone lay down to sleep wearing clean clothes and with a full belly, and we were even in a very pleasant place to camp.
The only strange thing was that before I went to go and lie down, Balin put the hood of my cloak up over my head.
"Better not let Fili see those until the morning." He advised.
"Why not?" I asked.
"I'll tell you, In the morning." Balin replied.
So, I went to go and lie down, between Fili and Kili, as usual, with me hood up over me head.
"Tomorrow, we should all insist, all three of us, that we're not going any further until we've had a rest." Kili decided.
"Taking over, little brother?" Fili joked.
"I'll agree to it. What about you, Fili?"
"The longer it is before I get fried or eaten alive by Smaug, the more I like it. I'll stand with you."
Dwalin overheard us.
"I think that's a fine idea, myself. And my brother will agree. Thorin will take our council, seriously. Now stop your plotting, and go to sleep."
Well, I was too tired and too happy to do anything else.
After an unexpected swim and an equally unexpected full meal, the Company's camp was as quiet as it had been during the entire journey.
But Thorin was not sleepy, and, it seemed, neither was Gandalf.
"What do you think of all this talk of weddings and marriage, Gandalf?"
"I agree with you that your nephews are not ready for marriage. They are not yet men, they are both still boys. In another ten or fifteen years, maybe twenty. As for Bella, I think she may be. With the right man, of course."
"So do I. I take it's we're talking about me."
"Yes, Thorin. You. But how to you propose to be king Under the Mountain from Bag End?"
"Erebor has had no king for almost 200 years. If it only has a queen for half the year, I think we will all do alright. And I'm almost sure the lads will get homesick for the Blue Mountains. They can keep an eye on Bella, when she is in the Shire, and they can conduct her long her journey home. Fili is already my heir, so I don't need to worry about producing one. And if I am not as old as I think, and Bella and I have sons and daughters, they would be welcome. Indeed, I would consider them greater, rather than lesser, for their Tookish blood. Is it so terrible a thing, Gandalf, for an old man who has had a hard life to dream, that in his old age, he might have the comfort of a wife and sons, to share in his birthright with?"
"What about Fili and Kili?"
"I think they'd make a fine pair of uncles."
"I mean, don't they have their eye on marrying Belal Baggins, as well?"
"They'll both barely be 100 when I go. Plenty of time for them to marry Bella."
Gandalf raised an eyebrow.
"Just as the Tooks have long lifespans, for Hobbits, the Heirs of Durin have long lifespans, for Dwarves. Your grandfather died in battle when he was 248, an age when most Dwarrows are happy if they can walk from one part of their halls to the next. Both of Thror's brothers lived to be 300, I think Gor lived to be 310, actually and neither of them had a day of infirmity or senility before they died. If you take Bella to wife, even though you do not intend, obviously, to cut your nephews out of the bargain, they will never be her husbands."
Thorin frowned.
"Well, I'm the King, aren't I? I'll make out a special dispensation in thirty years or so for her to marry the lads, as well. What's one more husband, more or less, so she'll have three, instead of two! See here, Gandalf, I'm not giving her up! And I won't be creeping up the back stairs while my nephews are striding down the front!"
"Perhaps, Thorin, you are counting your chickens before they are hatched. We still have quite a task at hand. Do you notice how quiet it is, in your encampment, tonight? That is the sound of contentment. There had been little of that, on this journey."
"That is true. I almost forgot what it was, to be clean, and have a full belly. Some of these men have seen too many winters. And others too few. And then, there is the Hobbit girl. With no pony and not even a pair of shoes. I don't know, Gandalf. Perhaps I have been driving them all too hard."
"You have, Thorin. As if Smaug was at our backs, and not out in front of us. The weather is good, and we have fresh water, nearby. You should let everyone rest here, for a few days, and then press on to Rivendell."
"You'll be waiting a lot fookin' longer than that for me to break bread with Elves!"
"Don't be so damned stubborn, Thorin Oakenshield! Your company needs a well deserved rest, and you'll have marched them all the way to Erabor for nothing if you don't go to Rivendell and I can't charm Lord Elrond into translating that map for you!
"I will ask no charity of Elves."
"You have no quarrel with the elves of Rivendell! They have not wronged you in any way!"
"They have. Bella was promised marriage by one of Elrond's folk. True to form for his kind, the Elf called Coruadan, son of Amlugaran, jilted Bella. He stole a horse from her, and two purses heavy with gold, leaving her with the food that provided our feast. This Elf has wronged our burglar, and the Shirefolk. I am the chieftain of this company. The honor of my burglar is my responsibility."
"You have not been concerned with the honor of quite a few women since you were seventeen years old, Thorin Oakenshield! Perhaps younger. You want the Elf's head on a platter, because he wronged the woman you love. I did not hear what you said to each other, but I heard you, a few nights before the encounter with the trolls, screaming at each other. When we had ponies, I noticed you looking back, often, to see if hers was keeping up. And tonight, you lingered long by the banks of that river with her. But even so, when you returned to camp, together, you are not so, right now, are you? If all was well between you and Bella, you would not be here, talking to me. You are not so old that you would not be back at that riverbank, again! Now I want the truth. And I will settle for nothing less, or I will go no further with this Company."
"The truth? I canna repair the damage I have done, the wrong I did to Bella, in one night. No matter the significance of it. Although it definitely put me up a peg or two in her estimation. You know, Gandalf, in my time. I've had more women of all the races than there are women of my own, living. They can put it on me grave. If it was a daughter of the Father of All, and it had a cunny, Thorin Oakenshield was there. But if they've got room enough left on the stone, they can say that there were only two that he loved. One he lost, when he was a boy, and he lost his kingdom. The other was Belladonna Baggins. And I fear that I may have lost her, too."
SHAMELESS PLUG: IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY CHECK OUT "RINGS", in LOTR under BOROMIR/HOBBIT. THAT STORY IS GETTING NO LOVE, AT ALL!
Well, soap fans, the suds are beginning to fly! Do I smell the scent of rivalry between Thorin and his heir? And has Fili a leg to stand on, besides the one in the middle? And just what did Bella get herself into, letting Thorin braid her hair? What has the Majestic One got up his sleeve? But, true love aside, have you noticed what I noticed? Dwalin seems to have his eye on Bella, and she certainly has taken a second look at him. Has the wily old warrior got plans to retire to being the master of Bag End? And what about Kili? He may be the youngest, but he knows how to keep his cards close to the vest. He's going to stand his ground and keep his place, no matter if it's his uncle, his cousin,or his brother he plays second fiddle, to. As long as he gets to keep playing his tune. And just what is it that Thorin has done to Bella Baggins, his great betrayal, and how did the Heirs of Durin get mixed up in the love life of a Took, in the first place? Tune in next time, and some, if not all, will be revealed!