Chapter Three: The Conscience of the King
Bree, Two Years Before the Quest
In his dreams, as in his waking life, Thorin Oakenshield travelled the length and breadth of Middle Earth.
Even moreso than his fellow Dwarves, Thorin was restless, driven to keep moving.
It often puzzled the Dwarves of the Blue Mountains that even after Thorin had spent some 25 or 30 years, making a home in exile for the Dwarves of Erebor in the ruins of Belegost, he had nothing good to say about his own halls, where he was Chieftain.
He considered them poor lodgings in exile.
Indeed, after his nephews were grown, he spent as much as six or eight months of the year wandering, and living in much poorer lodgings, by far.
Dis explained it best to Thorin's nephews.
"Your Uncle is a good man, and a good king, but his heart is heavy with lust. He lusts for revenge, and for gold, and for power, and even for love. He thinks that he will find them, out there, in the world, because he did not find them here, in all the years he curbed his wanderlust, to raise you. But what he seeks is lost. Even if his kingdom is restored."
Thorin would reject those insights.
He was always sure that the keys to Erebor were just over the horizon; just barely out of his reach.
Often, when he awoke in the morning , he would stop and take a moment to reconcile where he had been in his dream, to where he had been a few months before, and finally, to where he was, presently.
Presently, Thorin was awakened by the cold, it was brittle and bitter, and leeched from every crack and crevice in the dilapidated old shack that he paid far too much per month to that fat innkeeper for.
Thinking on the man reminded Thorin that he was in Bree, in Eriador.
"Rohan." Thorin said, to himself, his teeth chattering together with the cold as he started a fire in the hearth.
"Thengel of Rohan offers me a hall, and not a hovel! To be at court! A smithy and not a shack. To be addresed, properly, as My Lord Thorin! To hell with the bloody Blue Mountains! Let the rest of them scrape and scramble. A King offers his fellow ruler the recognition he deserves, and a noble position. Lord High Smith of Edoras. And I'm to crawl back to the bloody Blue Mountains, like a frightened fookin' dog? To that farce of a fiefdom? I'd whore my arse to every randy Elf bitch in Middle Earth to raise the money to get there, and cut the throats of all their men, and crawl on my hairy belly to get to Rohan, if I had to! By every bristly hair on my grandfather's beard, I would!"
He cracked the ice away from the basin which stood on the nightstand made from and empty barrel, and threw some cold water on his face.
It had become marginally warmer in the hovel, but his eyes stung with the smoke the room was full of.
"By the short and curly hairs of Durin's second beard, I will tear that bastard inkeeper's head off, bury him deep, and piss on his grave if that chimney is blocked, again!" he roared.
There was no man, Elf or Dwarf in Middle Earth that had a way with obscenity and profanity like the King Under the Mountain did when he was angry.
Cursing a blue streak, Thorin grabbed a broom from the corner and angrily thrust it up the flue.
He was rewarded for his trouble with a faceful of black soot, but at least the smoke began to go up and out.
Choking on soot and his own rage, Thorin unbarred the front door and left the rest of the smoke out, and a bitter swirl of snow and cold in.
Already, there was a man at his door, leading a limping horse.
Some slope-necked yokel of a farmer, who was related three ways to his his own father, with a swaybacked nag.
"Good mornin', Master Blacksmith." The man said.
"Good morning? What is there good in a fookin' morning such as this one?" Thorin replied.
The man picked his nose.
Thoughtfully.
"Precious little. Me horse needs shoein'. How soon can you manage it?'
"How soon? Do you not see me standing here, barefoot, in me nightshirt? Can you not wait for me to put on my trousers and light the fire in the forge? Or would you have me use me cock to hammer the shoes onto your nag's hooves?"
"And how would a Dwarf manage a feat like that?"
Thorin lifted his nightshirt.
Briefly.
"By Thor, man, I have heard Mr. Butterbur's barmaids chattering to each other about the size of the hammer the Blacksmith keeps under his apron, but I take me hat off to you, sir ! Faith, though, it looks like a third leg on one so short as you!"
"Why don't you show me yours? I need a laugh this morning." Thorin replied.
But the yokel, a good-natured fellow, only laughed.
"Your wit is quicker than mine, King Under the Mountain. I'll tie her up by the smithy and go round to the Prancing Pony. Gives me an excuse to get away from the witch's kitchen, and drink all day. Who knows? Maybe she'll look like she done, when I married her, after I'm drunk."
Thorin turned to go into his smithy, when Baranby Butterbur, his landlord, and the innkeeper of the Prancing Pony showed up with a Hobbit chimney sweep.
"I could see the smoke from across the yard, Master Blacksmith. But we will get to the bottom of it , now. Filbert Gamgee is the finest sweep from here to Buckland. He'll see to the problem."
Thorin almost felt bad about spending the morning cursing the man.
Butterbur was a good enough fellow; the troubles of Dwarf-kind were not his fault.
"See that you do, Master give me timer to dress, and get started with me work." Thorin told the sweep.
The sweep took off his hat, and bowed his head.
"Take all the time ye'll be wantin', Yer Majesty." he said.
One thing about Hobbits, unlike men and Elves, they had some respect for Dwarves, and so, Dwarves had respect for them.
Thorin worked straight through the morning, and the afternoon, and then well into the evening.
It was warmer, with the forge going, in his smithy, which had one side open to the elements, than in the hovel.
After the cold and desolate morning, he did not want to face the hovel, again.
Another supper of cold chicken, another freezing night in the lumpy bed between cold sheets, with nothing more than a jug of cheap red wine to keep himself warm.
His nephews, whom he would take with him, as far as Bree, on some of his journeys, they had made themselves happier lodgings.
Fili, who was blond, burly, and charming had all of the barmaids at the Prancing Pony vying for the right to do his braids, wash his sooty, clothes, cook for him and take him to their beds.
He was late in the morning, coming to the smithy.
But Thorin let it be, for he knew that Fili stayed late in the morning with a girl not just for his pleasure, but also for his bread and board.
That was a favorite racket of Thorin's, but he had already worn out his welcome with those girls.
But Kili, he was even smarter, for all his youth and shyness, for he had found himself a good woman, a Tookish lass, of the Shire, who shared her home with him, when Kili was not in the wood with the one-eyed hunstman Thorin had found him seasonal work with, as he was a fine bowman and tracker, but a rotten blacksmith.
Thorin did not have enough respect for most of the yokels and mongrels and wastrels that were his clientele at his makeshift smithy in Bree to put on a shirt or wipe the soot and sweat from his bare chest, arms and face before receiving them.
He just took off his apron and shouted for them to come in.
However, when that customer turned out to be a woman of the Shire, he often wished he had made himself more presentable.
It wasn't that all the women of men were ugly, gangly, fat, or slatternly, but in Bree, most were some combination of those.
But the Shirefolk, their women, though beardless, they had quality to them.
He never saw one who was ugly, even the fat old grandmothers had those same wide eyes and curly hair and pretty face with a pleasant air that the young girls did.
Their granddaughters, though, they were something to be seen.
Wide-hipped and buxom, with merry smiles on their full lips, pretty and cheerful and fair as country milkmaids, with long curly hair in all shades.
There was one, in particular that caught his eye, partly because she stood out from the rest, and that intrigued him.
And partly because Kili couldn't have enough of talking about Bella, Bella, Bella.
Three years before he and Fili had met Belladonna Baggins at a spring festival, in Bree.
It w as the first time for all three of them, away from their father's houses, and out in the world.
Thorin also had the feeling it was the first time for some other things, for Kili and the Hobbit girl, that summer, and every summer, since, the lad couldn't wait to see his Bella.
Kili was a romantic boy, fill of wild notions of undying love, and Thorin was surprised to hear that the girl was not as foolish.
Because Kili would complain that whenever he tried to profess his, deep, true, sincere and undying love, Bella Baggins would laugh, gently, and remind him that they were very young and very stupid, and that they were the very beast of friends, already, but love was a thing that only came with time.
A wise thing, for a young girl to know.
But, as Thorin gathered from the locals, Belladonna Baggins was not like other Hobbits, as she was a Took.
When he was a young Dwarf, and first came to the Blue Mountains after the Battle of Azanulbizar, he had occasion to meet her great-grandfather, Bullroarer Took, when the Hobbits and the Dwarves fought a common enemy when goblins invaded their lands from the Misty Mountains.
Her grandfather, Gerontius Took, who had lived to be 130, quite a feat for a Hobbit, had made it his business to know when Thorin was near the Shire, or even in Bree, plying his trade.
On the Old Took's last visit, Thorin was in the Shire, doing some piecework, and Gerontius had an ear trumpet and a cane, but he still came to inquire as to the health and welfare of Thorin Oakenshield, who had, in his time, stood and fought for the Shire, as the Shirefolk had stood and fought for what the Dwarves had left in the Blue Mountains.
And to give Thorin the job of shoeing every Tookish horse in the Shire and Buckland.
He returned to the Blue Mountains that winter in a wagon heavy with gold, supplies, and gifts for his nephews, thanks to the generosity of the Old Took.
They were small folk in stature, these Tooks, but their hearts were as those of lions.
He had met Gerontius' granddaughter, in passing, he could not help but do so, as close as she and Kili were.
Belladonna Baggins had the same look to her; she wore the same Tookish plaid kilt, and held her head high and swung her arms wide when she walked.
But this was the first time he had occasion to get a look at her, and he could understand Kili's fascination.
Like her grandsires, she had dark hair and dark eyes, but unlike most Hobbits she had a pixieish look to her face; it was heart-shaped rather than round, and she had high cheekbones, a strong chin, and a little turned up nose.
She had the same sort of figure as most of the women of the Shire, but standing before him in a kilt, and woolen leggings, barefoot, her waistcoat unbuttoned and the laces at the front of her shirt missing an eyelet or two and tied crookedly, he could tell she was more of the outdoor type.
Meeting her outside his smithy, Thorin saw that her brown eyes were full of mischief and merriment; he almost expected her to sprout wings from her back and fly away with a tinkling laugh.
Also, it was the first time in his long life of nearly 170 years that Thorin could recall a woman shaking his hand.
Fili chuckled, and turned back to his work.
"Master Blacksmith, it is good of you to see me so late in the day! May I come in where it's warm? Thank you. Thor's hammer, but it's freezing out! Glad I brought my fur cape but not glad to have it in here. I'll just put it right over there, that seems a good spot. I would have been here, sooner, but, well, I was not. In case you don't recall meeting me, my name is Belladonna Baggins, daughter of Bungo Baggins and Belladonna Took. I'm a friend of your nephews. Your services were recommended to me by my late grandfather, Gerontius Took, who said that you were the best metalworker in all of Middle-Earth. This rather large and heavy platter, which I have been carrying for several days in all this bad weather, which accounts for my general slovenliness which I hope you will pardon me for, belonged to my great Grand-Uncle, Bullroarer Took, with whom I believe, you fought a war against goblins with. Him being a warrior, I expect he would approve of my having this rather useless and heavy mithril dish melted down, and made into a battle axe. Also, in my pack I have great-grand uncle's mithril shirt. He was some three inches taller than I, and our measurements differ greatly, so I would need it to be modified to fit me. My measurements, which I have written down and have in one of these pockets are 44 around the shoulders, 44 at the bust, 30 or 31 at the waist and 44 or 45 at the hip, depending on whether I have been walking all summer, or eating all winter. Can you manage it?"
Miss Baggins delivered much of that speech without taking a breath, to boot.
"Are you also planning on going to war, Miss Baggins?"
"Only if it comes to me. No, it's only that those bastards in this run-down burg have changed their rules for the Annual Axe-Throwing Championship at the Midsummer Fair. You must have a mail shirt and a proper battle axe to compete. Cowards! Well if that's what they want, that's what I'll have! I have been meaning to get myself a proper axe made. I did ask Fili, first, you know, but he told me the task was beyond his skill, and I had better commission his Uncle. And finally, this is the axe I'm using, now. You know. For purposes of size. If you don't use the whole platter, keep the balance of the mithril as your payment. If you do, I'm good for the money. I am the Mistress of Bag End, and my late father, bless his soul, he wasn't a poor man. So, can you manage it? Fili said you'd be able to."
"Certainly, Miss Baggins. In fact I think Fili is up to the task, but it's not the thought that counts. Especially when you're working in mithril. It was better for him to give the task to me. I will make you such an axe, Miss Baggins, that even if you are not as skilled as all your medals and trophies say you are, you could win that contest with your eyes closed."
"I am sure you will. Although I hate to ask you to destroy one work of art you have made to create another."
Thorin took a second look at the platter.
"Durin's beard, that is my mark! Well, I was hardly more than a boy when I made this. About the age Fili is now. Fili, lad quit that damned hammering for a moment, and look at this platter."
Fili picked up the heavy mithril dish, and examined it, carefully, on both sides.
"Durin's beard, Uncle, this is just as sloppy of a hack job as I would do, with a piece like this."
"I know. And to think I told you I was a better smith when I was your age than you are. I was full of shite. This platter is hardly a work of art, Miss Baggins. But I promise that your axe will be. When you are done with that batch of horseshoes, clean that monsrosity, melt it down, and pour it into the mold for the ingots. It ought to make three."
Thorin had already made up his mind to have this girl, but the question was, where and when?
And the next question was, what kind of estate had the late Mr. Baggins left to his daughter, and what use could it be made of for Thorin Oakenshield?
Not that he would rob the girl blind, but when you frequently had no home and little money, what was the harm in having a friendly place to go where there was an eager and lonely and wealthy young heiress waiting on you?
What's good for my nephew is good for me, and perhaps better, Thorin decided.
He thought up a solution, and thought it up, quick.
"I don't have the means, here, to forge your axe, Miss Baggins. We'll be returning to the Blue Mountains, at the end of the week, and I will do the work, there. Will you return to Bree, in the Spring, when the work is finished, or would you like it delivered?"
"Oh, it would be easier on my back to have it delivered. I'll pay the extra charge."
"No extra charge. Your great grand-uncle and your grandfather were both good customers, and friends. And you have paid me several times over, in looking after my nephew, when he goes to visit you, and gives me a little time off from having to take care of him! You may expect delivery in two months time, with the coming of spring."
Bella put her heavy fur-lined cloak back on, thanked them both, and went on her way.
"You don't make deliveries, Uncle. You're up to something."
"Come Spring, I'll be up to my bollocks in that sweet little Hobbit, if I have my way! A woman like that ought to have a man's company, not just a beardless boy's. Mind, I don't intend to steal her from your brother. Just to borrow her, for a while."
"Keeping it in the family, Uncle?"
"That's not a bad idea, lad! Having the girl in our family! She's a rich woman. And a Took. Fine folk, the Tooks. Maybe I'll get her married up to your brother, and you. But reserve a little time for your old Uncle, alright?"
Fili laughed.
"What's this, Uncle Thorin? Love at first sight?"
"It's something, Fili lad! There's just something about that girl."
Fili laughed.
"You don't know by half, Uncle. But you'll find out." Fili told him.
As Thorin was making his plans for the seduction of Belladonna Baggins, he realised that he had forgotten something.
She was Kili's girl.
Unlike his brother, Kili was shy with women, and self conscious about having stubble and fuzz rather than a beard.
So, in all possibility, the Tookish lass was probably the only woman he had ever lain with.
Thorin decided it would be best to speak to Kili about the girl.
"How well do you know that Tookish lass, Bella Baggins, Kili, lad?"
"As well as a man can know a woman. We are very close. Even as friends. Or rather, we were."
"I see. Has the girl any other men friends she's as close to, as you?"
"Yes! She does! What's more, he's close to me as well! I'll never speak to either of them! Ever again! Are you interested in Bella, Uncle?"
"Does that trouble you?"
"No. I don't care!"
"Kili, don't act like you don't care if you do. Did the girl promise you she wouldn't have any other men around?"
"No. But-"
"Did you tell her that was the way you wanted it?"
"No. But-"
"The other fella? Did he get there, first?"
"Yes. But-"
"But nothing. You can't expect a woman to know what you want of her if you don't tell her, lad. Never mind. You'll figure it out next time. With the next girl."
Kili only nodded.
"So you see, Gandalf, I didn't seduce her away from Kili."
Gandalf frowned.
"No. All you did was take advantage of a quarrel that your nephew, who you raised from infancy, was having with the girl he was obviously hopelessly in love with, so that you could have her for yourself,"
"I didn't think I was going to go mad for her, did I? I thought I'd have a fling with the lass, and that would be the end of it."
"Ten days journey from your halls in the Blue Mountains for a fling with a woman in Hobbiton, when you probably had a girl in every town between Bree and Hobbiton, and every merry widow in your halls, awaiting you along the way? You were already mad for her, Thorin! As mad as you are for vengeance against your enemies, and for your grandfather's gold! And when you go mad for something, Thorin Oakenshield, nothing stands in your way of getting it. Not even your own nephew's happiness."
"I didn't get in the way of his happiness, did I? I can't help it if I fell for the same girl!"
"You could have held yourself in check."
"Held myself in check! Look now, you're a man like I am, and any other man is, aren't you, Gandalf?"
Gandalf knew exactly what Thorin was talking about, and his face turned red.
"Yes, in fact. Yes, I am."
"Then you know what it is to burn for a woman! Durin's beard, you don't even know why, but there are times, you meet a woman and you can't stop from thinking about her! And when you do think about her, your balls start to ache from just the idea of not having her! And the thought that you might never have her? It drives your brains to distraction! If you're a man under those robes, then you've got to know what that feeling is like. And you've got to know that you very rarely have it for a convenient woman, at a convenient time! Even if you knew it was dead wrong, when you had the girl, right there, when she was willing, fookin' hell, when she was eager, did you hold yourself in check? Well? Did you?"
Gandalf smiled.
In spite of himself.
"No. I didn't. And in my case the woman was another man's wife. The wife of a very dear friend. He had taken a vow of celibacy. I did hold myself in check, until she confessed that she had feelings for me, as well."
"Then you've got nothin' to say to me about it!"
"Yes I have! The lady's husband, he was never deceived, by us, as to what was transpiring. And we are all of us grown people! I did not steal a wide-eyed girl from a beardless boy, using all the power and might and influence I had as a wizard and a man of the world!'
"Neither did I, Gandalf! Bella was no babe in the Shire! Let me finish the story…"
Thorin's first trip to Bag End did not go quite as he had planned.
Although Miss Baggins was gracious enough to have made dinner for him, and considering the length of his journey, allowed him to spend the night, she politely showed Thorin where the bathroom was, explained that he could eat what he wanted from the larder and use as many towels as he saw fit to, it was ultimately that is your room and good night.
Similarly, in the morning he awoke to the smell of several breakfast dishes cooking, and she said nothing of his spending a good forty-five minutes taking advantage of the hot running water in using it all up and taking a very long bath and washing his hair and beard.
There was, however, a smirk on that bad pixie's face of hers as they progressed through breakfast.
"I suppose have not been as smart and clever as I thought I was."
"Honestly, Master Blacksmith, I think you have outsmarted yourself. I am a Took, and therefore not as uniformed as other Hobbits. And moreover, there is a story between you and my relatives. I am well aware that you are not just any dwarf named Thorin, but Thorin son of Thror son of Thrain, the King-in-Exile of the Dwarves of Erebor. The Rightful King Under the Mountain. And even though when I met you, you were filthy, half-naked and sweaty, and you have come here dressed in a simple tunic, boots and leggings, I imagine you have some very fine clothes, capes of fur and leather surcoats and so on, stashed away. Actually I must say that I am flattered that a big, burly, good-looking fellow such as yourself, and a King to boot, a man who must be, to have known my great grand-uncle, somewhere in the neighborhood of 150 years or so old would ride a hundred miles just to see what I have got under my kilt."
"You sell yourself short, Miss Baggins. I do not often meet a woman who intrigues me enough that I will go out of my way to pursue her. In truth, however, you remind me a little of a Dwarf woman."
"I do? That's flattery I never heard from your nephew. Good heavens, is it time to pluck my moustache, again?" She joked.
"I am an expert on the subject of women, young lady. You ought to listen to what I have to say."
"So I hear from Kili. And every source of idle gossip from Buckland to Bree and back again. Go on, please."
"What else did you hear from Kill?"
"Kili reminds me, in a way, of my cousin Paladin Took. When he opens his mouth, his guts come out. But I was not surprised by what he told me. I had always been fairly sure that the King Under the Mountain did not make deliveries."
"Then he might have told you that I have made a special trip because you're not just another girl to me, Belladonna Baggins. I do not care much for most of the women of Men in this country. The women of Rohan and Gondor are more to my taste. But, the women of the Shirefolk, they are unlike any I have ever known, and you are unlike any of them. In your figure, you remind me of a Dwarf woman, but it is your face, and your manner that so remind me of my own people. Dwarf women take a trade, and go to war, and do all that Dwarf men do, and in addition, they bear children, and keep a house. They are proud, they are strong, and they are fearless. Like you, who walks into a town full of people twice your size, to hire a King-in-Exile to forge you an axe and a mithril shirt, so that you may go to war with the townsfolk who do not understand what it means to be a Took. And, for all of this, you have the pretty, puckish face of a mischievous pixie. And now I discover you are the heiress to and the mistress of a fine piece of property and what must be considered by your people to be a small fortune. You are a very interesting woman, Miss Bella Baggins. Interesting enough for me, a man who has no land and no home, who has wandered the length and breadth of Middle Earth since I was 24, and I am now 160, to make a week's journey for."
"I will be in Bree, next month, for the Midsummer Fair. I see your nephews at every fair in the county, they come to cheer me on. But can I count on you, this time, Master Blacksmith, to come and see how well I fare with your handiwork? Needless to say, I would be glad to invite you for another 8 day journey, back to the Shire. You see, my father always told me that although it is important to have the appearance of virtue, it's not really all that important to have the actual virtue."
Thorin smiled.
"And what kind of woman would I think you if you allowed me to bed you, almost as part of a business transaction?"
"Precisely. But, on a social call, when we are already acquainted, as part of a celebration of victory? Who could fault me?"
"Not me. But tell me, lassie, is there even a chance I might have a kiss goodbye?"
"My willpower only goes so far. In for a penny, in for a pound, Master Blacksmith. If I was to throw myself into your arms, I do not think we would even get so far as the bed."
"Bella won the tournament, of course. And I stood there and cheered for her as loudly as Fili and Kili. They returned home to the Blue Mountains, like we usually did, after the Midsummer Fair, because work dried up for us in Bree after that. But I went with Bella. We were seven days on our way to the Shire, but it was a month before I was on my way again, Gandalf. I could not tear myself away from Bella, and she didn't want to see the back of me, either. Oh there was more to it than just fookin', sure there was. But, by Durin's beard, if I told you just how much fookin' we done, you wouldn't believe me. The fires of Mount Doom are not as hot as that little Hobbit's Tookish blood! She never had a man like me, and now that she did have me, she wasn't about to let me go before she wore me in. At the time, you know, nobody said anything about love, and by Fall's end, I was in the Blue Mountains, again. But the oddest thing was, I couldn't get Bella Baggins off me mind. I still had one and a half of the ingots I made from Bullroarer Took's mithril platter, and I could have them, alone, for a pretty penny. But I didn't sell it."
"No?"
"No. I made Bella a ring, and a bracelet of Dwarvish knots, to keep on her upper arm to hold back her shirt while she was throwing. And a pair of finely wrought leather arm braces, with mithril studs and eyelets and inlays. And a dagger, with a handle made of the old bones of a long-dead dragon, and mother of pearl. With runes engraved on the blade."
"Kingly gifts, Thorin. Not the kind of presents a man makes for a girl he's just had a bit of a fling with."
"Well, in the Spring, I had a letter from her, asking me if I would rather have my summer in the Shire than in Bree, because the Shirefolk would be more likely to appreciate my work and treat me with respect than the men of Bree. Which was true. But she also said I might stay with her, at Bag End, and that my nephews could stay there too, in the spare room, if they wanted. For as long as we liked. Because, for one thing, she said it was lonely, in that big house, with her father dead for almost two years, and her mother gone back to live with her relatives. And for another, she wrote that she was fairly sure she was in love with me."
"And were you fairly sure you were in love with her."
"I had no doubts about it."
"Wait. You did say you, and your nephews?"
"I did."
"You mean to say that you were in the bedroom down the hall, making love with Bella, while Kili was in that very same house!"
"Sure. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Now, on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, I got to sleep in the bleedin' bunk above Fili, who snores like a fookin' goat. And on Sundays, we rested. At laest Kili and I did."
"Now I don't understand! If you and Kili had an…understanding about Bella, even then, why has there been so much trouble during this quest. And where doed Fili come in?"
"Fili? Wherever he can fit in, like as not! Oh, he's a chip off the old block, he is! Too much like his bastard father and his bastard Uncle. He probably had her in the garden every night and laughed at both me and Kili, behind our backs. And he had another girl or three, in the Shire. Mind, at first, Kili wasn't too happy about it. Sharing Bella with his whoremaster uncle. But I told him the truth."
"Which was?"
"That I loved the girl."
"By Mahal who made us, and Odin who made him, Uncle, how could you do this to me! You may have, you have had, any woman you want, of any race? Why steal mine, when she is the only one I have ever had, and the only one I've got?
"I told you, didn't I? And you said that you and Bella were through."
"I didn't mean it? How could I be through with Bella? And you? Uncle, you never spend more than a week in any one woman's company!"
"What if I tell you that I love her?"
"But you can't! I love Bella! I loved her before you even knew her!"
"Since when?"
"Since always!"
"And I would not stand in your way of it, my lad. But, can we not both love her, then, without bad blood between us? But I would not steal her from you, Kili. Say the word and I'll forget the whole matter."
Kili gave his Uncle a surly look, and saw the most remarkable expression on his face.
"Have you ever been in love, before, Uncle?"
"Once. Many years ago. When I was still at Erebor. She was an Elf, believe it or no. One of Thrandiul's subjects. A niece of his, I believe. Or a cousin. Something like that. Gods, how I loved that woman! I wanted to marry her. I very nearly did, because some idiot had gotten her into trouble, and I was sure it was me. But your great-grandfather, he intervened. He bade me wait until her child was born, because it would be obvious, if it was mine."
Thorin grimaced, and when he spoke, next, his voice was full of bitterness.
"She had a son. And he was as blond, and grey-eyed and pointy-eared and fair as any Elf was, and as unlike me, or any other Dwarf. She begged me to forgive her. Infidelity, I could have forgiven, sure. But getting herself in the club with another man's child, and trying to pass it off as mine? That I could not forgive. I was just a boy. Only 17. But my heart was shattered. And I swore I would never love again. And now, here I am, an old man, in love with a Tookish girl, and not just any girl, but your girl? Life has not been kind to me, Kili. But this is one of it's cruelest tricks, so far."
"It's not so bad, Uncle. And I appreciate your noble gesture, but you can't forget love. It would devastate you. And Bella would be devastated, too. How can I be jealous and cruel, and do harm to two of the people I love most in the world? I would be no better than my other uncle. Fili's father. But you must promise me, Uncle Thorin. That you won't steal Bella away from me, or try to turn her heart from me?"
"There is no truer heart in Middle Earth than Bella's, unless it is yours, my lad. I don't think that could be done. Even if I was to try."
Inasmuch as Thorin was a proud man, he knew that sometimes his pride and his stubbornness., and the airs he put on were to a fault and not a strength.
Mahal humbled him, though, from the high horse he sought to put himself on, by putting in his nature a gift for profanity, a hot-temper and equally hot-blood.
He'd had a considerable number of women, of all races, since, taking a particular pleasure in bedding the women of his enemy, the elves.
It was said that all Elves were beautiful and cold, but in Thorin's experience, it was only the men who were cold.
It had occurred to him that these Elf women took a particular pleasure in bedding a Dwarf, to spite their cold husbands, knowing how Elf men thought of Dwarves as lesser beings, but it remained true that the only emotion stronger than lust which Thorin had ever known, since he was a beardless boy, to be invested in sex was spite.
The combination, however, of his love for Bella, and his desire for her, and hers for him was alchemical.
Theirs was a fiery affair, because Bella Baggins, of the clan of the Tooks was as proud and stubborn as he was.
They had few quiet moments, when they were not feasting or drinking or laughing, they were quarreling or talking over great subjects in great agitation, and all things that they did together seemed to lead to bed.
If they even made it to the bed.
Thorin Oakenshield's love for Bella Baggins was quite unlike the love of his youth, although it had the same hallmarks, but it was shot through with lust and fire so that his lust and his love for Bella were so intertwined that they could not be separated.
Truly, Thorin understood what men meant when the say they burned for a woman, and he understood how it was that Men, Dwarves and Elves alike could go mad from it.
"When I got to Bag End, I found that Bella had made this fur-lined cape for me, to replace the one that I had been wearing for at least fifty years, as it looked fairly ratty by then. And I presented her with the gifts that I had made her, and I told her that I loved her, too. I never promised her marriage, though, Gandalf. She never asked it of me and I never promised it."
"How long were you in the Shire?"
"All that Spring and Summer. That made it a year since we had met. And this past year, all that Spring, and Summer."
"And everything went along smoothly?"
"Sure it did. I know it sounds odd, but Kili and I, we never had a day of trouble with each other. And if Fili was in the picture, as I now suspect he was, he never made a fuss, himself. I mean, it was all in the family, you know. Sometimes, these things, they canna be helped. But now, I suppose now you'll want to know how I came to fook it all up."
"Yes."
"It was money, of course. I sold something Bella gave me. For money, for this quest. At least I told her it was for my quest, for my birthright, for my people. It was the only reason she allowed me to sell it. Because I used all the rest she had in me and all the love she had for me, to convince her so. Then, I turned around and I spent the money from the transaction on equipment for me smithy in the Blue Mountains, and a horse and wagon to take it home in. I tried to explain to Bella that, indirectly, it was still for the quest. But I can see where she wouldn't hear of it. That was the end. I needed the equipment, Gandalf. To do the last of the work that it took to finance this Quest. But I did more work than just that, and I made a lot of money. Enough to put some aside, in the Blue Mountains. Just in case."
Thorin looked at the ground.
"Fookin' dragon-sickness, it'll be the death of all my line, yet. They ought to melt that gold down, and hold me down and stick a funnel in me mouth, and pour it down me throat until I'm dead from it. I tried to explain to her, it's a sickness, sometimes it can't be helped. But that's a piss poor explanation. For what I done."
"Thorin Oakenshield, what that Bella Baggins gave you did you sell?"
"Her. Her love Her body. Some might say, for all of that, her very soul."
Gandalf took his pipe from his teeth.
"Do you mean to say that you…that you sold Bella Baggins' body to a man? That you…that you whored her…that you packed her off, to some place and told her to lie with some man! For money?" the wizard sputtered.
"That's exactly what I did."
The red-haired man looked down at the small, put pretty woman, in dismay.
The smile she wore might as well have been painted on, and when he moved, she shrank from him, and though she still kept up a false face, he saw tears in her eyes.
She was very young, and very frightened.
Thorfinn Goatsfoot was disgusted with himself, but more disgusted with Thorin Oakenshield.
Truly, in his lust for gold, the Dwarf's depravity knew no bottom.
"How old are you, girl?"
"Thirty-three."
"And a Hobbit, aren't you? Which means by your people's reckoning, you're not much more than a girl! By all the Gods, I'm a short man, but I'm a foot and then some taller than you! And the look on your face!"
Thorfinn sought to put the girl at ease, and to explain himself.
"You must understand, young Hobbit, that crafty Dwarf of yours, he's not usually given to consorting with decent women. His truck is in actresses, barmaids and whores. Women who have been known to trade their services for money or goods, now and then. Not that I blame them, a woman with no father or husband or brothers to protect her, she has to make a living in this world. But I'd wager if you'd been touched by any hand but Thorin's, it wasn't more than one. I cannot do this! I will not!"
Bella sighed with relief.
"I am both glad and sorry. Glad I don't have to go through with it, no offence against you, sir. But sorry, for how will Thorin now fund his quest?"
"His quest? Is that what he told you, the greedy old bastard? I'm only a blacksmith, like himself, from a ways down the Great East Road, closer to the Valley of the Elves. I'm not as fine a smith as Thorin, I'll admit, but I'm richer. I offered to sell him a new anvil, and a larger forge, and a rickety wagon and an old nag to carry it all back to the Blue Mountains. He either can't afford my price or he's too cheap, and it's my vote for the latter. He offered me a week with a woman, in exchange. But I won't go through with it, now. I cannot. You remind me of my own daughter, who is about the same age as you, in men's reckoning. If my apprentice, whom she is engaged to marry, offered to sell her to a stranger for a pittance, I would cut off his head!"
There was immediately a great pounding on the door.
"Thorfinn Goatsfoot, open this door! It's Mr. Butterbur, the Inkeeper! For the love of all the gods that men hold dear, do not touch that girl! For one thing she is a Took, and the clan of Tooks will have your head for it! For another, I am acquainted with the family and I know the girl and I will not have her defiled in my own inn! And for a third, Kili, nephew of Thorin Oakenshield, has come to settle his Uncle's debt! Open this door or I will call the sheriff and have you arrested for rape!"
Mr. Goatsfoot opened the door.
"Barnaby, what kind of a man do you take me for? I would not dishonor such a sweet, pretty young girl! One brave enough to give away the most precious thing she has, her own honor, for a bastard such as Thorin! Pardon me for saying so, about your Uncle, young Master Dwarf."
"Under the circumstances, Mr. Goatsfoot, I might have to agree with you. Here is your money, sir."
"I can't take your money, Kili lad. Or your brother's. You work like dogs for your Uncle, and he gives you pennies in return."
"It is not my money or Fili's, it is out Uncle's. I will answer to him, later for it."
"It's he who should answer to you. And this poor girl."
"I am not a poor girl, Mr. Goatsfoot. I am a Took and I am the mistress of Bag End, in the Shire. And Thorin will answer to me. But not in person. Kili, the next time you see your Uncle, you may tell him for me that the next time he shows his face to me, outside of any business dealings we might have, I will put my axe through it. Can you forgive me? For doing this terrible thing? I would understand if you wanted nothing more to do with me. Now that your Uncle, whoremaster that he is, has made me his tart."
"Bella, you didn't do it. And even if you had, how could I abandon you? Especially after you have been betrayed and deceived? You have done nothing wrong, so there is nothing for me to forgive. I'll take you home, now, if that's alright with you."
"I can manage on my own. But I don't mind you coming with me."
It was only after Bree was behind them, that Bella cried.
"Don't cry, Bella. I love you. I'm sure Uncle does too. Really. He's just…well, he can't help but be the man he is. And he's not always the best man he could be."
Thorin did not look up from the ground, and his voice broke with emotion.
"I sold her, Gandalf! I sold her like a cheap pimp, to screw for a blacksmith from these parts we're travelling through. For the paltry items I've already spoken of. She was to satisfy the debt at the Prancing Pony. In Bree. I took her there, meself."
"I know the keeper of the Prancing Pony! Barnaby Butterbur is not that kind of a man who would allow such a thing to take place under his roof."
"No, he isn't. When Bella got there, Goatsfoot, the blacksmith, backed out of the bargain. In disgust. Kili and Butterbur stormed the battlements, anyway, and Kili paid my debt to Goatsfoot. When he and Fili found out what I'd done, we had a hell of a row. I never saw Kili so angry. I awoke in the morning to find Kili gone from our wagon. Fili explained that Kili took the money, and he was going to go save Bella, and that he, Fili had stayed behind to make sure that that I didn't get in the way. Well, I didn't. I was glad the boys did what they did. As for Butterbur and Goatsfoot, I'm sure they explained to Bella that they knew me well, and that for whatever virtue I had, that I was a hard man, greedy and money-grubbing and so obsessed with my lust for power and revenge that I would sacrifice anything, just to get my hands on some gold and get a little closer to my goal. As it turns out Barnaby Butturbur was a good friend of the Old Took. And of the Shirefolk, in general. And I had been doing business with him for thirty years, long enough for him to know what kind of bastard I really am, and to put the granddaughter of his old friend wise against the likes of me. And the worst part of it is, to make things right, Bella gave the money to Fili, that Kili had taken from me. Neither of them would speak to me until they returned to the Blue Mountains, that winter. The whole matter eventually drove a wedge between Bella and Kili, too, and she met that bastard Elf, who led her up the path. Oh I made a lot of noise about riding to her rescue, when I heard about Coruadan, but it was Kili who did it. He's a good lad. So is Fili. I know I don't serve another chance with Bella. But I don't just want it, damn my eyes, I need it!"
Gandalf shook his head.
"Thorin Oakenshield, of all the things that you and your father and your grandfather have done, for the love of power and revenge and hoarded gold, this is the worst! Could I not see that you are disgusted by what you have done, I would abandon you and your quest, and take your nephews and Bella with me! You must make this right, Thorin. If for nothing else, then for your honor, and the honor of the line of Durin! You'll have to leave off being haughty and officious and infallible for a bit. In fact I do believe you might not only have to apologize, you may also have to beg, grovel and eat crow."
"I have apologized. It did some good. Maybe if I offered her a double share of me treasure. She knows how much the gold means to me."
Gandalf stood up and pounded his staff on the ground, making a white light issue from it that blinded Thorin, and knocked him to his knees.
"Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, it is not your hoarded gold, or the promise of it that Belladonna Baggins wants or needs! If you want to compensate her, offer her your love, above your love of treasure! And your loyalty, above your devotion to revenge! And what part of your heart remains that is not eaten up by your lust for power! Offer these truly, and give of them freely and fully! Then, it is possible, that you might make amends."
Gandalf sat back down again, and lit his pipe, and Thorin got up from the ground.
"She will not believe me. Bella has said that I must regain her trust. And that I have, some. Well, you're a wizard, Gandalf? How do you regain a woman's trust after you've lied to her and sold her body to a stranger for such a pittance that she can throw the money back in your face without even blinking an eye about it?"
"I have no idea. But you should make it your quest, as we travel to the Lonely Mountain, to find a way to regain her trust. We will face many perils, and many choices, of many kinds. In one of them, I hope, your answer will lie."
Thorin was thinking of what to say next when the peace and quietly of the night was disturbed, from the other side of the fire, by an argument.
Amongst Thorin's nephews, and his burglar.
Fili was pulling Bella's hair, and shouting at her, calling her names, and for her part, she was shouting back, and Kili was trying to get between the two of them and break up the melee.
"And these boys think they are ready for marriage? We'll talk more of this, later. Right now I have to go sort out this quarrel." Thorin said to Gandalf.
He quickly made his way over to the other side of the fire.
"Fili! Are you mad! Let the girl go!" Thorin ordered his nephew.
But Fili paid him no mind.
Thorin slapped Fili across the face, like you would a disobedient child.
The insult stung Fili more than the slap, and he let go of Bella's hair.
Kili pulled her away from Fili, and Bella angrily pushed him away, too.
"Don't fuss over me! I could have handled it, myself!" she protested.
"He went mad, Uncle! I was asleep, and all of the sudden, he just went mad!" Kili tried to explain.
And Fili still had one of the clips from Bella's braid, in his hands.
Thorin grabbed it from him, and restrained his impulse to strike his nephew, again, as this time, he would have, as if Fili had been an opponent in a brawl.
"Foolish boy! Your fight isn't with the girl, it's with me! Well? Here I am! Do you want to call me names, and try and tear my hair out?"
"It's not your fault that my brother has got us both involved with a fookin' whore!" Fili yelled.
He rushed at Bella, again, and she stomped on his instep and then socked him in the face.
"You hypocritical bastard! I don't need to be called a whore by the man who broke my maidenhead in a hay wagon at the Breeland Midsummer Fair! You didn't mind my liking to get me leg over, then, or since, have you? But, now, all the sudden, I'm a whore? Well, damn it if I am, for you, who took me for the first time like I was one, and your Uncle who sold me for pennies! If I am a whore, then it's you and Thorin who have made me one!" Bella screamed.
Her lip trembled, and tears ran from Fili's eyes, even as blood ran out of his nose.
"But Bella, you don't understand! I want to make it right. I want to marry you. I love you. My Uncle may turn your head because he's the great Thorin Oakenshield, and my little brother, who always follows where I go, and does what I do, he may know all the pretty words in the world, but I'm your man, Bella. I always have been. I always will be. If you were to be braided, I should have done it! Or at least, Kili!" Fili protested.
"You have no right, boy! I have asked her for you and for your brother, as much as for myself!" Thorin interrupted.
"I didn't ask, Fili! Thorin just went ahead and did it."
A murmur of shock passed through the whole Company, and they quit pretending not to notice.
"Without your permission? Thorin, did you do that?' Balin insisted.
He waded into the fray.
"I told Bella I wanted to braid her! She said yes." Thorin protested.
"Having no idea what it meant!" Balin reminded him.
"What? Do I have to marry him, now?" Bella asked.
No. But it is a very serious step. Dwarf fathers and mothers braid their daughters hair when they are children, but when a girl is older she may braid her own hair, or her father, a brother, he may continue to do so. When a man asks a woman if he may braid her hair, or her beard, he is volunteering to take over the position that her father held in her life. It is usually accompanied by a proposal of marriage, and gifts. If a woman accepts, she is not bound to marry the man, but it is a sign to him, and to all, that she is seriously considering him for a husband. However, a man must be of age, to formally propose marriage. Fili will not be of age for another twenty years, and Kili for thirty. However, if a young man wishes to marry before he is of age, then his father may make the proposal, and braid his intended's hair. The question remains, Thorin, were you asking for Miss Baggins hand for yourself, or for your nephews?" Balin finished.
"I think that depends on how many of us live to see the end of this quest." Kili interjected.
"Taht si exactly what the determining factor will be." Thorin pronounced.
"Oh. Well. I thought it was something like that. I knew it was important. But I never thought you gave a damn about it, Fili." Bella said
"I do." Fili snapped.
Fili held his head back to try to stop his nose from bleeding, but all he did was choke himself.
"Are you happy now, boy? Is it broken?" Thorin asked.
"No! I didn't hit him that hard. Still, I feel awful for having done it. What we need is some athelas leaves. Let me go look in my pack." Bella decided.
"Let me see it!" Thorin demanded,
Fili backed away from him.
"Don't shy away from me, Fili, what's got into you? For two years there was no trouble between the three of us about Bella, now you want to start some? And what do you mean, puttin' your hands on a woman, in violence, when you are not at war and she is not an enemy? Is this the fail-safe, of your plan? Are you going to follow, then, in your father's footsteps? You raised Hell with me, as if I'd be driven mad by jealously, and then what do you do? And you boys think yourselves ready for marriage! One of you leaves a woman, alone, and half-dressed in the wood, where there could be any manner of danger! Orcs, trolls, highywaymen, wild animals, but off you run without a thought, Kili! And you, Fili, all it takes for you to fly into a stupid jealous rage is for me to take the initiative to make an honest woman of Bella, for all the whoring of her than you and I have done! At least your brother is attentive to the girl, and he was honorable to her from the start! In a hay wagon? Odin's eye, boy, what kind of disrespect to a maid is that? And what else have you done for the girl, but drag her off into the wood!"
"I ran that Elf off as soon as I heard he was coming around. And he stayed gone while I was there! But trust my little brother to go on about who what Bella wanted was what she wanted, and dither around about going to her, himself, so long that the bastard came back!" Fili snapped.
"Fili, you don't own Bella. I don't own Bella. Even if we marry her, we do not own her! And if she wanted to marry another man, who were we to stop her?"
"Who else was going to stop her?" Fili demanded.
Bella returned with the athelas leaves, with a paste of the dried berries mixed with water spread out over them.
"Hold these under your nose, Fili. No one was going to stop me. No one but myself."
Thorin shook his head.
"I left the matter of this Coruadan to you boys, and you both made a mess of it! And for all of it, Bella is supposed to marry one or both of you, and entrust all her father worked for his whole life to you, and bear your children, and look after you? Not while I live and breathe will I stand to see you boys take advantage of this woman's good nature, any more than you have! You'll marry when you show me you are men, and not before it! Now, go to sleep, and don't make any more trouble for me, or you can turn around and run back to the Blue Mountains and your mother's apron strings!"
Kili looked abashed, and he quietly went back to his blankets.
But Fili, he had to get up on his hind legs and kick, a little.
"Do you think you'll live forever, old man?" he demanded.
"No. But no matter how long I live, you'll have to wait till I'm dead to inherit what's mine, Fili son of Vargbrand!"
Fili was taken aback, hearing himself called the son of Vargbrand.
"Durin's beard, Uncle, I am acting the son of an orc's son, aren't I?"
"You are! And you never have before! What has come over you, lad? You've never had a violent day in your life, Fili! Only when battle demands it. Whats' happened to my devil-may-care, good-natured nephew?" Thorin demanded.
Fili looked at his feet.
"He's fallen in love. And he doesn't want to have to creep up a secret stair to see the girl he loves when his Uncle can come in and out the front door, as he pleases." Fili muttered.
"That's just the way I feel about it, Fili, lad. I raised you! You're my boy, and I'll be goddamned if I'll play second fiddle to you."
"So, what do we do about it?" Fili asked.
"I have an idea. You two marry Bella. I don't care what door I come in. As long as I'm coming in." Kili volunteered.
"Aren't you lot forgetting someone in this discussion? You know? Me? Maybe I'll decide to just leave things the way they have been. Without getting married at all. Everything was going along fine, before I started with all this marrying business. I mean, we have this dragon to take care of, don't we? Can't we just agree that nobody has to play second fiddle to anybody else, and figure the rest out if we are not all dead?" Bella suggested.
She pushed in between the three of them, and jabbed her finger into Thorin's chest.
"And another thing! Do you want to know what else troubles, Fili? And Kili? They don't want to die! Not to mention, the Blue Mountains are their home. Do you think he and Kili went with you on this quest because they give a damn about a mountain they've never seen, and a treasure they never had? They're here because of you, Thorin Oakenshield! Because they love you and they are loyal to you, and they believe in you! Just like the rest of us fools on this fool's errand! And in our last months before we face death, and a nasty death at that, if it's all the same to you we would rather not be he'd rather not be marched along with a whip at our backs, as if Smaug is going somewhere if we do not get to the Lonely Mountain, at double time! No one will say so to you, because you are their King, but I am not a Dwarf and Hobbits do not have a King! So I will say so! And you ought to listen!"
"Well? Hands up everyone who thinks I'm driving us all too hard?"Thorin asked.
He was surprised that every hand in the Company came up like a shot.
"I was going to say something, myself, Thorin. As was Balin." Dwalin interjected.
"I have already said something." Gandlaf cut in.
"Well, I can see one thing, clearly. When my good-natured nephew begins to have fits of temper, and an old warhorse like Dwalin makes a complaint, then I know that I am driving my Company too hard. We will rest here, for a few days, and when we press on, I will not drive you all as if the dragon is at your heels. Even though he has long been at mine. As for you, Fili lad, it took me a damn long time to braid Bella's thick hair out of her eyes! I'll not do it twice in one night! Take this clip and fix it, before you go to sleep. Go on. Off with you. And you, girl, we'll have no fisticuffs in this family! You bloodied Fili's nose, so you fix him up, and make sure his clothes are clean."
"But, Uncle Thorin, but I…"
"Don't explain yourself, lad. There's no jealousy in this circle, unless you bring it with you. And try not to wake me when you return. It's no easy thing, making your peace with a Tookish woman. I'm tired. Will you keep watch for me Dwalin, and make sure they come back?"
"If they aren't back in an hour, I'll go and get them."
"Good. Now let the old man rest his old bones. As for the rest of you, the show is over. Back to sleep!""
Fili left with Bella, and Dwalin began his watch.
Thorin started to drop off to sleep, feeling as though he had accomplished much, this day.
"Uncle?"
"What is it, Kili?' Thorin asked, without opening his eyes.
"Are you staring to feel old?"
"After going two rounds with Belladonna Baggins? In less than two hours? I don't think I will, tomorrow, but I feel old, tonight."
"I haven't even got one. Yet."
"Well, don't let your older brother push you around! Tell him Bella has to do up your braids, for once. And if he asks you where they are, tell him she braids your hair where he can't see it."
Kili laughed.
It was a fine sound for Thorin to fall asleep by.