Epilogue
Fred and George watched the scene unfold with Professor Snape, Filch, and Ron from around the corner. They had originally been waiting there to pounce on Ron and figure out how long the potion had lasted and whether the bad breath had ever worn off. Well, they now knew the former, but no one was close enough to Ron for them to discern an answer to the latter.
George briefly debated whether it was not smarmy of them to let Ron get in trouble because of their potion. He nudged Fred and sent him a questioning look. Should they intercede? Fred all but snorted. No. Ron let Harry take a fall for him earlier, he could take a fall for them now. It was not like they intentionally meant for him to get into trouble because of it. Stupid git should not have kicked at Filch's cat. It was not like he would get expelled, after all.
Professor Snape drew his wand from his cloak with dramatic flourish and pointed it at Ron. "Accio potion," he said. Nothing happened.
Professor Snape's face soured further than Fred knew possible. "I should take you to the headmaster- but as you do not have the potion on you I doubt he will believe it was you who concocted it." Professor Snape paused a moment and sent Ron a disbelieving glare as if he could not believe Ron had the ability to do such a thing either.
"Nonetheless, I think detention is in order," Professor Snape said, looking at Ron challengingly. Ron opened his mouth to protest but snapped it shut at the withering look Snape gave him. Filch made a noise and Professor Snape looked at him with disgust. "And 10 points from Gryffindor for kicking the cat."
Filch immediately started in with protest but Snape sent him a piercing glare which quieted him down to angry mutters about the injustice of it all.
A meow from right below them had Fred and George disappearing swiftly from the scene before Filch or Professor Snape could catch them eavesdropping.
Fred and George returned to the Common Room discussing the results of their potion. They had not been able to find any component that would remove the repugnant stench from the breath and had decided it would be a quirky gag product that people could inflict upon their friends, much like they had done to Ron. They still were not sure how long it lasted, but they were pretty sure it would wear off by that night. Maybe. Well they would check with Ron later.
A variety of students were sitting in the chairs and sofas by the fire. Fred and George waved Lee over to join them at a sofa they had commandeered from some first years. They leaned close to whisper together, Lee's dreadlocks brushing against one of them every now and again. They filled him in on their new potion and the results. Then came the topic of naming it.
"Something to do with languages. Or tongues," George began.
"What is it dad always says he wish he could smell? Something about cars being new…"
They sat and pondered it a moment. Lee had no idea what they were talking about so he amused himself by eyeing one of the attractive girls he had been talking to before they walked in. She looked up and made eye contact with him and he gave her a slow smile and a head nod. She rolled her eyes but she smiled.
George opened his mouth once but bit back what he was thinking. He hesitated a moment before finally speaking. "New Car Smell? Something like that?"
"Sounds right. So what should ours be? New Tongue Smell?" Fred laughed. But then he paused, and looked thoughtful. "Yeah," he said, getting more and more excited. "I like it."
"It's quirky," Lee added, thinking it over as well.
"And accurate," George said.
They eyed one another and thought over it some more before nodding. "It's perfect," Fred and George said together at the same time. Lee said it as well, but he was off by a split second so it sounded like "It's it's perfect perfect."
Fred added a new item to their list he kept in his robes: Weasley's New Tongue Smell: Speak any and all languages! Warning: Causes bad breath.
As he did so, the portrait hole opened and another student came in. George's eyes automatically flicked over to look when it opened, but he glanced back as he realized he recognized the student. It was the girl from this morning who had earned the nickname-
"Hey look it's Knickers!" someone shouted. The girl ducked her head down and tried to go to her room but she was waylaid by some older boys. One had sandy-blonde hair and the other with black hair. By their swagger you would have thought they were seventh years, but George recognized them as tall third years. One pulled out a pair of old lady knickers and laughed at her.
"Hey hey I got something of yours!" he said. He pushed them into her face and she winced away and mumbled something.
"Not yours? The only way I'll believe that is if you show me the ones you're wearing right now," the black haired one said.
The girl sent a glare up at them and shoved past them. The blonde one grabbed her arm and would not let go.
George, Fred, and Lee were up and over there in a moment.
"Excuse me gents," George said, adjusting an imaginary monocle. "But that's not how we behave around here in Gryffindor, is it Fred?"
"No indeed. It is most uncivilized," Fred said in a priggish voice he based off his older brother Percy.
Lee was not as good at fancy accents, so he stood behind the twins and gave the pair a mean look and flexed his arms.
The girl backed away and looked from the boys to the door, as if she expected Professors McGonagall and Dumblefore to burst in at any moment and suspend everyone involved. George noticed and fought a smile. The boys were already backing down, giving the usual excuses of "just a bit of fun" and whatnot.
George sidled over to the girl and handed her a chew- another experiment of theirs that he thought might be helpful to her in this moment.
"Here, chew this. It'll make the embarrassment go away," he said.
She gave the candy a skeptical look but hesitated only a moment before she popped it into her mouth and chewed it with an unexpected fierceness. A look of steely determination came into her eyes when she finished that made George's eyebrows shoot up. She locked onto the two boys who had been bullying her and charged right up to them, getting right up in their faces.
"The names Keyana. Not Knickers. Not anything else." The boys' eyes popped out of their heads the slightest bit as she continued her onslaught. "And I know those have got to be yours because there is no girl here who would voluntarily let you anywhere near hers, on or off." Everyone in the Common Room was paying attention now. A few girls hooted their agreement.
"And another thing," Keyana continued, "Who cares what kind of knickers I wear?! I am not some sexual object put in this school for your entertainment. I will wear whatever I like and whatever is comfortable, whether it's sexy to you or not." Another chorus of cheers.
Keyana gave the pair one last glare before giving them a large, smile. No, not a smile, George corrected himself, more like a showing of teeth. "If you ever bother me again…. I. Will. End. You." Then she giggled the most girlish, adorable giggle that both amused and terrified. And walked to her room.
At some point during Keyana's outrage George had returned to Fred's side. Now that it was all over Fred leaned over and whispered, "Embarrassment Eradicus?" George nodded. "I think we may want to test that one again for potency… and duration…" George nodded again. "Though I kind of wish we had given it to her sooner. Might be interesting to see her go on like that all day."
It might be indeed.