Ch 8 – Oliver Part 2

AN – The story has taken another turn and this has more Team Arrow than the previous chapters (by Team Arrow I refer only to Oliver, Felicity and Diggle). Also, as I tried to work within the current season this Oliver isn't as developed as I would want him to be … if you still want more from him, check out the final Chapter of Primal. You can ignore the rest but writing that final Chapter helped me deal with Oliver as I want him to be (total fantasy I know but it made me happy)! :)

DISCLAIMER – Even though I'm happier now I still blame the show and that means the owners/ creators as I own nothing!

At Felicity's single nod, Oliver smiled and took a deep breath. He watched as she took a seat at her computers and he couldn't resist standing behind her for a moment as they had so many times before. At Diggle's words about take-out he looked up and smiled again. It had been a long time since the three of them had enjoyed a meal together and he was grateful for that offer.

Oliver moved away and tried to work out while waiting for Diggle's return. All was silent except for Felicity's tapping on the keyboard but he still found it soothing. The lair no longer felt like the home it once was and even though he knows they can't go back Oliver can't help but hope they can move forward together. Oliver suddenly realized that despite wanting and trying to talk to Felicity he had never apologized to her. He had to snort contemptuously at himself though as he also realized he didn't really want to try and explain again how him sleeping with someone else meant nothing.

He paused at the term "someone else" and realized he saw it as a betrayal just as Felicity undoubtedly did. After Russia, he had told Felicity he couldn't be with someone he cared about and that was still true. He always has and always will care about Sara but that's not why they had sex. That night had been just two people using each other to feel something other than pain. He wouldn't repeat that mistake any more than he would have slept with Isabel Rochev again.

Oliver grunted in frustration as he continued his workout. None of this was going to convince Felicity of the sincerity and depth of his feelings for her though and relieving his own guilt at her expense was unacceptable. Maybe he should just apologize for not putting her first and for failing her again by not being the person she thought he was. He knew she had high expectations for him and saw him as a hero. He wanted to be better for her and he had become a better person for her. He also wanted to be better for himself – if recent days had taught him anything it was that he couldn't force Felicity to always be the better part of himself, he had to find that within himself. He wasn't the man either of them wanted him to be yet but he hoped Felicity would give him another chance to try and be that man.

As Diggle re-entered the lair Oliver realized he also owed him an apology. He had been acting on his own since 'that night' with no regard for their Team. It was obvious he had hurt Felicity but Oliver could no longer overlook the fact that he had, at the least, insulted and disrespected Diggle as well. Oliver gritted his teeth as he acknowledged the depth of his errors. He couldn't break the habit of a lifetime as it seemed he just kept hurting those closest to him.

As Diggle and Felicity set out the food Oliver put aside the dark thoughts and fears as he wanted to enjoy this quiet moment with these two people who meant the most to him. The past days had been rough and Oliver thought they would all agree that they needed and deserved a break. However, as the meal progressed Oliver also realized that Sara and Roy would be returning soon and he needed to at least attempt to clear the air. Swallowing with difficulty Oliver squared his shoulders and looked at both of his friends.

"I think we need to talk about Sara..." He paused when he saw Felicity tense but then he quickly continued. "Sara and Roy joining the Team. I know I made both of those calls without you guys and I owe you both an apology for that. I am sorry for acting on emotions without thinking through the repercussions. I wasn't kidding when I told Roy the two of you are the only ones that matter. I need to know that you can support my decisions."

Oliver couldn't pose it as a question as he didn't want to consider what he would do if they withdrew their support. He knew it was unfair though and he was willing to make whatever future promises either required if it meant they would stay now.

As the silence lengthened Oliver sought Diggle's eyes first and saw his attention was on Felicity. Oliver realized then that Felicity was the deciding vote as far as Diggle was concerned. He wouldn't offer his support or acceptance until Felicity had agreed as well. Oliver gritted his teeth and turned his attention to Felicity only to find her eyes on him.

"What you did was wrong … you violated the trust of the Team." As she paused, Oliver wondered just what she meant but she continued soon enough and appeared to gather some momentum as well. "Whether or not you appreciate the name 'Team Arrow' or not this is a Team as least we are supposed to be one. You can't proclaim yourself absolute ruler and ignore us. I know we joke about voting but if we really are your friends and partners in this then you can't just do what you want and leave us to pick up the pieces and live with the repercussions. It's not fair or right!"

That was the most Felicity had said since 'that night' but despite being happy she was speaking to him Oliver realized she hadn't actually agreed to support his decision.

"Felicity?" Oliver prompted her.

"I know – just wait, I'm not finished yet."

Oliver exchanged a look with Diggle and realized they were both holding their breath waiting on her verdict. Turning his attention back to Felicity he saw she had risen and started pacing. She remained silent but it was clear she was rambling to herself.

He found he truly missed Felicity's ramblings (and her touch if he was being completely honest). The rambling wasn't always a product of nerves as it had been in the beginning. Sometimes it was simply Felicity being Felicity, sharing of herself, and comfortable that he and Diggle accepted her without judgment. Felicity was open, honest, and giving and he and Diggle agreed early on not to take advantage of that. Oliver felt a moment of discomfort as he hadn't considered the full implications of bringing either Roy or Sara on-board. He hadn't considered that Felicity would have to find a way to deal with the two new members who had no reason to honor his and Diggle's agreement to always protect her.

Oliver realized it was just one more way he had failed Felicity as he had put himself first. Felicity was going to again pay the price for a choice he hadn't intended to make. As she continued to remain silent Oliver also realized she wasn't ready to let him back in; even if she did agree to stay she would be keeping her distance and hiding her thoughts and feelings from him. Before he could fully process that unnerving thought Felicity continued.

"I'll support your decision … this time, but no more chances. I have to draw the line somewhere and I'm drawing it here. Either you consult with us going forward or I will leave, I'll tell you goodbye."

Oliver realized the full import of her words: she was staying but this was his last chance to be the person she needed. Breathing a sigh of relief he turned to Diggle.

"I'm in but I'm with Felicity." Diggle had stood now and moved to stand beside Felicity to make his position clear.

When Diggle didn't elaborate Oliver realized that this friend was now guarding his thoughts too. Anger briefly sparked to life but Oliver quickly banked it. He had pushed them away so often and had made enough bad decisions that both had reason to doubt him and to protect themselves and each other. Again though he couldn't help but wonder if this was a permanent alienation or if he could earn their trust and friendship back. Taking the plunge, Oliver voiced his concern.

"It's been very quiet in the lair lately. Do you think that will remain the case?"

Again both he and Diggle looked to Felicity and Oliver realized they continued to place her in the position to be the good one, to be the heart and light of their Team. Worried that the burden was too much for her, Oliver quickly spoke again.

"You are the two who brought me back from the Island literally and figuratively. I know I've disappointed you recently and honestly I'll probably do it again." Oliver gave them a small smile before he continued. "However, I need you both to know that I know I've failed you. I will try to be the hero on my own but I'm better with you two with me."

Oliver was pleasantly surprised when Diggle stepped forward to offer his hand and Oliver shook it gladly. The men exchanged a look and nodded in understanding. There were still issues but both were willing to work on it.

Felicity approached slowly and soon stood between them. "I'm going to try to be better too, Oliver."

Oliver was surprised by her words and a little confused but his focus changed as he realized it was the first time she had used his name, met his eyes, and smiled in days. He couldn't help but gather her in for a hug nor could he help that his heart sped up when she returned his embrace.

AN2 – I think this is just about as close I as I can get to a "happy ending" guys! I do have a final chapter from Sara's POV to bring us full circle and it should be up soon!