The snow beginning to melt around Mordhaus induced an epidemic of impatience for spring to finally arrive. Every afternoon when Skwisgaar rose, he went immediately to the window to see if any lawn was visible yet as it receded. The American members of the band drove him crazy on the best of days, resulting in long bouts of reclusiveness interrupted only by the instances in which he and Toki sought the other out.

He couldn't deny that he went through some sort of narrowing spell, like Toki before him. Between teaching Toki the basics of submission, getting blown whenever he wanted, and then being dominated himself, room for others in Skwisgaar's sex life shrunk. As he practiced his guitar one evening late February, he slowly came to a stop. How long had it been, since he called someone up? At least a day. Two, three? Who was it, even?

Someone showed up fifteen minutes later on principle, but no matter how skilled the woman, Skwisgaar found his mind wandering halfway through. How could this happen? Was it something to be afraid of? Or should he just accept it, like Toki?

'Wat u doin 2nite' he shot off later.

'Nothin. Got something in mind?'

'Lets go outside or something. Isnt cold so'

'Ja sure give me 2 min'

Skwisgaar had his coat on when Toki showed up. They headed for the nearest exit, unconsciously sticking to the lit path provided by their home's exterior. Skwisgaar took his time in breaching the topic, unsure where it could lead. Surely danger lie in them becoming exclusive, even if they didn't plan for it. The rationalization that it happened whether or not Skwisgaar said anything caused him to clear his throat in a lull of their conversation. "So."

"Ja?"

"You knows dat t'ing you talks about, how you gets everyt'ing you needs wit' one porson so why bothers wit' anyone else?" Skwisgaar glanced over with confirmation. "It would seems dat it has happen to me too."

"You means you not fucking no one else?" No matter how much Skwisgaar sullied him, Toki still maintained an innocence in how his eyes widened. "Wowie, you serious?"

"It just happen." Skwisgaar shrugged. "It dwindles, and den I sittings around tonight and realgize I hadn'ts even t'ought abouts it. I tries to bring someone up and dey bores de pants back on me."

"Huh." Toki pushed his chest out. "I guess Toki's that good, then!"

"Pff!"

Skwisgaar earned a shove with his laughter. "How you gonnas deny that? You saids it youself! I's the only one left, therefores I win!"

"Wins what? You stills get everyt'ing you wanteds."

"Well, if you thinks about it like. . ." Toki trailed off, squinting up ahead. "Hold ons a minute. What's that?"

"Uhh. . ." Skwisgaar followed his gaze. White on white wasn't easy to see, but something definitely moved. "My best guess ams a yard wolf puppy, but dey shouldn'ts be having dem yets. Is too earlys."

"Oh!" Toki's eyes widened again as he became completely distracted. Bearing with him, Skwisgaar leisurely followed as Toki jogged up ahead. He squealed with glee. "Looks at it, it so cutes! And so littles!"

Toki inspected the struggling runt while Skwisgaar looked about for its kin. "Where ams he mom?"

"Not sures." Toki ran his fingers gently over the coat. "Do you think she abandons him?"

"Ams possible. He ams too little to survive."

"Skwisgaar, look at him shakes. He goings to freeze." Toki picked it up. "Let's take him insides."

"We amn'ts allowed." Skwisgaar hid his annoyance behind a curtain of reason. Weren't they talking about something kind of important? It could potentially lead to an even greater breakthrough about his life! "Remembers we tries to keep a wolf pup befores and he rips everyt'ing up and piss everywheres?"

"This one wills be diffsrent. Just looks." Toki held it up to Skwisgaar's face. "He will die for sures out here. You won'ts tell on me if I keeps him, will you?"

Skwisgaar kicked the snow. Maybe if he conceded, they could get back on topic that much quicker. "No. . .but you wills regret it. Wolves amn't dogs."

"I can'ts leave him to die! Maybes I just take him until he big enough to be on his own? What he gonna do to anyone when he can hardlies even walk?"

Skwisgaar assumed some klokateers would've witnessed the entire event and reported it to Charles, but the man never called or summoned them. Skwisgaar perched on Toki's bathroom counter while he carefully washed the deaf and blind pup in the sink. "You goings to has to find food and t'ing for him. Like milks. He die if he don't eat."

"I knows how to take care of an animal," Toki stated. "I hads wolves back in Norway what were my friends."

"Has you raised one, though?"

"Not exacklies, but I figure it out, okay? Why you gots to be such a pessmisk abouts it?"

"I just tryings to be realistics. You amn'ts going to be able to gets what you need wit'out someone telling Charles what you got."

"I cans warm milk up myself in the kitchen." Toki bundled the pup up in a fluffy towel and led Skwisgaar back to his bedroom proper. "Woulds you watch him while I do that?"

Skwisgaar conceded with a grunt.

Toki passed it over like a baby, then skirted out of the room. A high-pitched, quiet whine sounded inside the towel, prompting Skwisgaar to shift it about so that he could see. Damn. No matter how tiny, this wolf posed a threat to everything Skwisgaar stood to gain from his epiphany. Why did Toki feel the need to take in things like this? Natural law dictated that this pup shouldn't survive, anyway. Even if it did, the other yard wolves would tear it apart upon its release.

"Okay, I gots it." Toki dropped onto the bed beside Skwisgaar and dipped his finger into a saucer to try and feed the puppy.

Irritated, Skwisgaar cleared his throat. "So likes we was talkings about earlier."

"What was its? You not sleepings with other people. So what's up with that?"

"I alreadies told you. It just happen."

"Ja, I wons."

"I still don'ts get what you mean by dat. But maybes we talks about it a time you nots busy?"

"Whatevers you want." Toki didn't look up.

Skwisgaar flopped onto his bed when he arrived back at his room. Maybe Toki couldn't help himself in taking care of runty finds, but Odin. How often did Skwisgaar Skwigelf come and say that he wasn't fucking anyone else because of you? You don't take that lightly. Skwisgaar didn't, anyway. This was a big deal, not just for him and Toki, but for his entire life. He'd never managed monogamy without severe restraint in past, and even then just for a very brief window. When it came this easily, by its own accord, it was worth attention.

Now came the first challenge against it, though. Frustration always demanded the same outlet, but with Toki preoccupied and as the origin of this pit in Skwisgaar's stomach, he didn't much feel like shooting him a text or even thinking about him right now. If he made a request from his stables, it would undermine what he wanted to talk to Toki about in the first place. And yet there he lay fifteen minutes later, although it didn't go as he planned. Halfway through, rather than even be nice about it, he sighed. "Cans you just stop?"

His mood spiralled through the evening, leading him to whittle away at his guitar until he couldn't hold his eyes open anymore. He assumed Toki would text him the next day, but his phone remained quiet. Injury bled into vexation against his volition. Toki suddenly becoming so enthralled with some new thing poked deeply at Skwisgaar's inherited anxiety. He hated feeling like this back in Sweden, and he really hated it here. In fact, even likening his turmoiled state to how his mother used to make him feel was enough to send Skwisgaar into a bottle. Toki helped him deal with some of the pent-up resentment he packed around for that woman, but this?

". . .Thinking I might try dating a dude. I've never had luck with women and maybe now I know why."

"I'onno, Nate. We rilly gotta talk about this?"

"Just trying to give you a head's up. You know, if I bring someone back home—"

"Odin, Nat'an, you still on about dis gay shits?" Skwisgaar stopped tuning his guitar, anger finally coming to a pinnacle as the three of them met up in the studio. "You amn'ts gay. Just drops it."

Nathan scowled. "You don't know that! It makes total sense!"

"Why you so convinced, ah? Maybes you make mistake."

"You think I haven't tried telling myself that? Fuck you, Skwisgaar. You have no idea what being gay is like. Especially around all you jack-offs. All you ever do is make fun of it and this is who I am."

Skwisgaar threw his arms up in the air as Nathan stormed off. "Fine! Go cries about it, you bigs dick sucking baby—!"

"What did you just call me?"

"Ooooh shit, Skwisgare, you better run. He's comin' back."

Nathan took chase for a short while, but eventually ran out of breath. Unable to return to his room—the obvious retreat—Skwisgaar opted for the next door, a couple turns in the corridor away. Busy or not, Toki wouldn't have a choice about stowing him.

"Hey Toki, you ams—" But he wasn't there. Shrugging it off, Skwisgaar made himself comfortable. Maybe it was best they not see each other right now, at least until Skwisgaar got this latest bout of jealousy under control.

Having left his guitar behind as dead weight, Skwisgaar rapidly grew bored. He wandered aimlessly around Toki's room, pursing his lips at the picture Charles got bullied into snapping of them on a night out at Burzum's, not long after Toki first joined the band. Everyone made bunny ears behind Toki's head, something that obviously made him feel included if he hung it on the wall. Moments like this for Toki were once few and far between. And did that mean anything about how he came to treat others? Apparently not, if he reciprocated that on Skwisgaar.

Heavy stomping down the hallway prompted Skwisgaar to hide under the covers. Locked doors rarely stopped Nathan. "Toki! You seen Skwisgaar anywhere?"

Skwisgaar kept quiet in hopes he'd carry on. Nathan pounded again. "Toki! Fucking answer me or I'm going to knock this door down!"

"I's sleeping, go away!" Skwisgaar said in his best impression of Toki.

"So that's a no?"

"Ja, go away."

"Oh. Sorry pal."

Whew. Skwisgaar threw the blankets off his top half. Where did Toki go, anyway? Sending a text only made Toki's phone beep over on the desk, where he'd plugged it in to charge. No doubt it had something to do with that stupid wolf. Skwisgaar still hadn't seen Toki since he got it. How was it that something new to dote on always pushed him off to the side?

The intercom in the corner of Toki's room crackled, Charles' message echoing all through Mordhaus. "Skwisgaar, could you come to my office, please?"

"Fucks," Skwisgaar muttered. Sure enough, to contribute to his bad mood, Nathan sat in front of Charles' desk with his arms tightly crossed. "What am dis?"

"Nathan has, uh, lodged a complaint against you."

"Oh rillies." Skwisgaar sunk down beside Nathan and mirrored his stature. "I was goings to apolgesac."

"So you believe you did him wrong?"

"I just don't t'ink he ams really gay."

"Nathan would know that more than anyone else. Not to mention. . .all of you, Nathan included before he came out, were adamantly homophobic. It took a lot of courage for him to do what he did. I was going to bring it up at the next band meeting, but I'll say this to you while you're here. Now that you're aware someone homosexual lives amongst you, it would be a huge leap forward if the anti-gay comments, slurs, and accusations came to an end. It hurts Nathan's feelings."

"I. . .didn'ts know you had feelings, Nat'an."

Nathan grumbled. "Maybe, hrmmm, you know, a couple."

"Wow, maybes you really am gay. Like for reals."

"Now Skwisgaar, straight men have feelings too. You would personally know that."

"Huh? Oh, ja. Guess I woulds." Annoyance, jealousy, and boredom, mostly.

"Great. Anything else before I send you two on your way?"

"No."

"You two are going to get along now?"

"Ja, shores."

"I'm glad we could have this little discussion, then. Good day."

Nathan punched Skwisgaar once they'd left Offdensen's office. "Say anything else about it ever again, and I'll rip all your fingers off."

"Ow! Woulds be bad for de band, Nat'an." Skwisgaar rubbed his shoulder. "Quits t'inking about just youself."

"I don't want anybody to talk about it anymore. I'm just going to ignore it and hope it goes away. It's not fucking worth it, with you clowns."

Mood further yielded to fury, Skwisgaar headed back to his room. Usually he turned to Toki when his innards twisted so fervently, but what the hell did he do when that man was to blame? Did it have to make a difference? 'U busy'

Skwisgaar didn't expect a reply, if Toki was still out. One came a few moments later, though. 'Not rly. Pup is sleeping y'

'I could go 4 a rly good fuck rite now'

'Ja has been a while'

Twelve days, as Skwisgaar counted. He couldn't hack another boring hump with some stable slut, and even his growing collection of toys bore no interest. 'I mean like rly fuck me tho'

'Give me 2 min'

'No give me time 2 get redy'

Skwisgaar took some deep breaths before even bothering to get off his bed. Okay. Maybe this was what he needed. Whether or not Toki's deflection caused his dive in temper, he couldn't think of anything else to fix it. Getting fucked for the first time would distract Skwisgaar and giving Toki something no pet ever could would budge him back to centre stage. It must work like that, even if he still felt aggravated while thoroughly cleaning up in the shower.

He heard his bedroom door slide open as he brushed his hair. Poking his head out confirmed the hunch that Toki invited himself in. He laid across his bed, attention pulled away from his phone when he noticed Skwisgaar. "Hey."

"Hi." Skwisgaar hesitated before sitting on the edge of the bed. He and Toki stared at each other before he dropped his gaze to where he toyed with his towel.

"How you wants to do this?"

"I don'ts really know. Just does it and it done?"

"You feels okay for it?"

"Problies as okay as it get." Skwisgaar attempted to bring himself back to the moment. Nerves and lingering bitterness made it hard to remember what was important. Predominantly he did just want this over with, so that the last untouched part of his body would become no more special than anything else. And yet, with such conflict toiling about inside, would he even be able to relax enough?

Toki sat up beside him. "Are you sure you wants to?"

Skwisgaar nodded.

"Then what's the problem?"

"How shoulds I know? You ignores me for two week, this shoulds be easy."

Toki's gaze softened. "I didn'ts ignore you."

"You didn'ts exackslies not ignores me. Whenevers we pal around evens, you too busy to be all dere."

"I. . .I didn'ts realize," Toki replied. "I's sorry. I didn'ts think you care. You ignores me too."

"I was waitings for you to says somet'ing to me!"

"I was takings care of the pup and I figureds if you really wanted something you woulds has come around."

"Not'ings happen when I did." Skwisgaar crossed his arms.

"You know what it like when you gots thing you doing. Is easy to get sucks in. Come on." Toki placed a hand on his back. "Don'ts be mad. I comes when you ask."

"Ja, because you t'ink you goings to fuck me."

"I woulds has come even if you wanteds to just pals around. Is nots about fucking you, Skwis."

"Amn'ts it? You woulds has brought you pup if you thoughts we just doing t'ing like friend."

"He doesn'ts do that great, so I likes to keep an eye on him. I really am sorry. I didn'ts know you felts left out."

"You t'ink I coulds go two week wit'out sex?"

"Whats about you stable? Uh. . ." Toki stilted when Skwisgaar shot him a glare. "Rights. You really has stops that?"

"Nots anymore, but it amn't easy like it used to be. I's bored and hornys and mad and. . ."

"So why don'ts you say anything? We agreeds to talk about stuff like that. I takes for granted you woulds, if something bother you. When you don't say nothings for two week, I just assumes you doing you own thing too. You can'ts get mad when we agree to do it one ways, and then I don'ts get it when you does another."

Skwisgaar resented blame being redirected at him, but Toki posed a good point. "What's you been doing for sex, then? Because you hasn'ts come to me for it."

"Nothings. I beens busy takings care of the pup. Jacking off, I guess, if that count."

"Coulds has called me."

Toki pressed his lips together. "See, this why it not a good thing when all we has to fuck is each other. I's not obligateds to goes to you every time I want somethings. To be fair, you hasn'ts been in a great mood when I beens around you, kinds of mean really, and I don'ts want anything to does with you when you likes that."

"Because you acts like you don'ts want me all de sudden! How I supposed to takes dat?"

"You coulds has asked, for one. And I woulds has told you: Toki's taking care of something, but it don'ts mean he don'ts want to have his dick arounds you." Toki sighed. "Look, I don'ts want to have a bigs fight with you abouts this. We both screw up. Maybes I gets a bit too invested in making sure the pup survives being born so early, and this all go to show why we can't nots talk when thing bugging us. We agreeds that this only about sex, and thats we keep it separate from being friend. We has sex to feels good, nots get mad at each other. Is you havings trouble with it?"

"A bits, I guess. I didn'ts like dat you ignores me when I tries telling you dat I hadn'ts been fuckings around wit' no one else. Was a bigs deal to me."

"Maybes that the problem?"

"I fucks ot'er people since, and it don'ts make me feels no better." Skwisgaar paused. "But you ams right dat I shouldn'ts has expect you to knows what goings on inside me. Dat was stupids for me to does."

"Just don'ts do it again, ja? We aren'ts responsible for each other's feelings. If we don'ts keep it all outs in the open then ones of us might get hurt. Ands then what? I don'ts want to haves to stop everything we does, if we cans avoid it."

"Ja," Skwisgaar agreed. Ugh, what the fuck would he even do? He expected a certain standard when it came to sex now, and the very idea of being left high and dry sent a shudder down his spine. "Dis am gots to do wit' beings friend and fuckings each ot'er, to makes it harder. I don'ts like beings ignored for somet'ing else, and I thoughts I lost you interest for fucking."

Toki laughed. "You kiddings? How woulds that happen?"

Skwisgaar couldn't help but crack a smile. Maybe he had been stupid to think that nursing an animal to health could erode everything he and Toki established. Why should he be so self-conscious?

"So you talks to me when you got something likes that going on, and I makes more effort to includes you."

"T'anks you." Skwisgaar breathed a lot easier with such burden removed from his chest. Rather than angry, he just felt dumb. He should've never let his emotions get that involved.

"We goods?"

"Ja." Skwisgaar turned more toward him. "So. . ."

"Hm?"

"Anys chance you stills want to fuck me?"

"Psh, ja. Who wouldn'ts?"

Skwisgaar nudged him with his shoulder. "I still not sures about de best way to goes about it. I hasn'ts done it before, so it mights not be dat easy. Has you ever fuck someones in de ass?"

"Nopes. You put stuffs in there though, didn'ts you say?"

"Ja, when I jacks off. But nothings very big."

"Why don'ts you show me?"

As far as Skwisgaar surmised, no one ever actually saw his ass, let alone him putting something in there. He fetched his lube and preferred plug. "You nevers mention doings anything with yours."

"I hasn'ts," Toki admitted.

"Too bads. You mights like it." Skwisgaar ditched his towel. "It don'ts usually go ins easy at forst. So you coats it like dis, swipe some on you ass. . ."

Toki watched with his hands tightly folded in his lap, mouth slightly agape as Skwisgaar situated on all fours on his bed and eased it in, then brought it back to coat again. "You does this a lot?"

"I goes back and forth. Nots very often now, sometimes I don'ts for a couple week or somet'ing, but I dids it almost everys day for a whiles, at one point." Skwisgaar's eyelashes fluttered as the thickest part popped in. "Sometime just fors de hells of it. Like whens I playing my guitar, or somet'ing."

"Thanks, now I nevers going to be ables to see you play without thinkings about this."

"You welcome."

"Woulds you scoot up more? I wants to. . ." Toki trailed off, gaze non-wavering. Skwisgaar chuckled when Toki spread his cheeks and let them fall back naturally. "Fucks, you gots a nice ass."

"Does whatever you wants. I tells you if it too much."

Toki kicked off his boots and sat cross-legged behind Skwisgaar. "Seriouslies, though. One of the best things ever is how it bounce when I hits it with something."

Skwisgaar tensed when he felt a pull on the plug. It took a lot of practice for it to not simply fall out when he started experimenting, leading him initially to resist. A slow breath and light hand on his hip helped him relax enough to relinquish this part of his body. He fell empty, but a trembling touch replaced the plug. Skwisgaar waited with bated breath to see if Toki would finger him, but the plug came again instead. "Keeps an eye dat don'ts dry out, ja?"

"Sorry. Does it hurts?"

"No, I'ms just lettings you know aheads of time."

Skwisgaar bowed his head, reminded about how electrifying attention to his ass could be. He'd lost the initial exhilaration that came from doing something so forbidden all by himself. So much as touching his entrance then could get him rock hard, let alone the first time his finger slipped past resisting muscle. An involuntary moan escaped as Toki reminded him of that sensation, then his mouth fell open as he reached the limit for how much could fit. A wicked grin came over him. "What's you doing?"

"Two fingers. Is too much?"

"I gets used to it."

"It don'ts hurt?"

"No, ams. . .just more dan usuals." It didn't exactly feel right, coming into a place meant to go, but that was part of the appeal. Although he could feel Toki pushing further, Skwisgaar didn't realize he'd taken both completely until Toki used his thumb as leverage. "Oj herregud. . ."

"You tells me if you goings to cum. I don'ts want you to yet."

Skwisgaar didn't want this to end either. He already felt taut, but Odin he wanted more. The right headspace obviously helped, because he soon unconsciously spread his legs as Toki introduced a third finger. He knew coming into this that he'd probably lose his mind from how good it felt, but he failed to anticipate the degree to which he'd so willingly hand himself over. Who cared what happened for the rest of his life? Skwisgaar could give up the band, the guitar, himself, if Toki willed him perennially prostrate. He'd give anything, kill if Toki wanted, or hand over all the solos. So long as he got this.

"I thinks you ready to be fucked."

Skwisgaar let out a whine when Toki's fingers left his body. To be so empty was nothing short of a tragedy. "Snäll."

Toki chuckled as his shirt hit the floor. "I never seens you like this before. Looks good on you."

Skwisgaar's hands balled into fists when pressure filled him. Like with his fingers, Toki went slow, but Skwisgaar sensed a collective impatience. Discomfort only made it all the better; right, wrong, good, and bad all tugged for prominence, and wound up blending together instead. Nothing that Skwisgaar wanted to say found its way to his tongue. A jumbled bunch of words would do neither of them good, anyway.

With a pillow pressed against his face and every nerve tingling, Skwisgaar came in and out of awareness about the noise he simply couldn't repress. He didn't care if someone happened to walk by his room. Fuck them, they had no idea what potential this bore to destroy. His entire body shook and the filthiness of it stripped away his humanity to leave only something born to be fucked and—how could this even be happening? He submitted to a man as desperate as himself, someone who couldn't care less if this was proper or beautiful, so long as it pleased him. Skwisgaar never wanted more in his life to belong as chattel, to get more, to be fucked like it was all he was worth.

A particular rhythm forced Skwisgaar's brows to furrow. "Bara sådär. . ."

Each thrust sent shockwaves through his body. Rather than the swelling inside coming like a gust from a passing vehicle, Skwisgaar stood in the middle of the road and braced for impact. Toki gasped, desperate to sink as far as possible before a whimper breached his own lips. Why did it have to be over so fast? Granted, this part wasn't even a five minute deal, but as utterly exhausted as it left Skwisgaar he'd go again right this minute if Toki could. He'd never cum without attention toward his dick, nor had he ever cum so hard. It almost scared him, how useless he remained toward speech or movement. At least Toki sank in the same boat, judging by the lazy pawing that brought Skwisgaar down onto the bed beside him.

English finally returned to his brain after a few minutes. "Holy fuckings hell."

"Ja."

"I don'ts know what else to say."

Toki's arms tightened around him. "Skwis?"

"Mm."

"You makes it so hard for me to not think abouts you like my own."

They'd only just spoken about this, but damned if Skwisgaar didn't feel the same way right now. "Ams it a bad t'ing?"

"I'm not supposed to. That's the deal."

Skwisgaar came up eye-level to Toki. He couldn't summarize the want, the need, or the plea into words, in either of the languages he spoke. The weight of it all crushed him as he read fear, for both this and the gap they steadily enforced between them. Uncertain and uncaring of the consequences, at least for now, Skwisgaar breached it with a gentle graze of his fingertips over Toki's chest. Rather than reassert their agreement, Toki's resolution buckled.

"Toki, who ams we kidding?"

Rather than argue, Toki blinked. Taking his opportunity, Skwisgaar leaned in. A string of small kisses gave way to something deeper as Toki caught his stride. He held Skwisgaar close by the back of his neck before suddenly stopping. "Skwis."

Skwisgaar lightly rubbed his arm.

"What's we doing?" Pale blue eyes opened again. "Ares we getting confuse right now? Is a bigs deal to fuck someones like that."

"We keeps reminding each ot'er abouts us rule, but it nots like I wantings dis and you tellings me no, or de ot'er way arounds. Why we tells each other dis a bads t'ing when we boths want it?"

"Because we not supposed to gets us feeling involved. We's friend, then we fuck buddies. Is the easiest ways."

"If we gets along as friend and we gets along as fuck buddy, den what ams de bad t'ing about havings dose t'ing toget'ers?"

Toki kissed him again, though with hesitation. "Maybes. . .we needs to talk about it a different time, when we nots laying here rights after I fucks you. Whens we got clear head. I don'ts want to agrees to something and then haves us both regret it later. What's you think?"

"Mights be best." Skwisgaar's fingertips pressed into Toki's skin. "You nots going to goes, am you?"

"Nots if you need me here. How you feels?"

"A little sore, I guess."

"Woulds you lets me run you a bath?"

Being doted on in such a way emphasized Skwisgaar's developed reverence. He followed Toki into the bathroom, watching as he got the water to optimum temperature. In only his jeans thus far, Toki stood before him after taking away the fur blanket that kept Skwisgaar decent. The afterglow's fade left fondness like stubborn rocks on a beach with the tide's recession.

Toki touched his hip. "I goes check on the pup and gets clean up. Then I comes back."

Skwisgaar eased into the bath and pulled a face at the vaguely familiar discomfort between his legs. Before everything could tighten back up, he inspected the impact. Two fingers sliding inside him didn't return even a ghost of the intensity from being fucked, but Skwisgaar liked the idea of Toki leaving him like this. To think, somewhere deeper, he'd left a piece of himself. . .

He didn't intend to, but it remained true that Skwisgaar could go again. Even without physical release—or arousal—as a possibility yet, he repeated how Toki prepped him until the remaining lube washed away. Disappointed though not deterred, Skwisgaar kept two fingers as far as their first knuckles inside him. He relinquished completely when the need faded.

Toki came back with wet hair and fresh clothes, pup in his grasp. He set him on the floor by the door with his homemade bed, where he immediately curled up and went to sleep.

"Haves you givens to him a name yet?" Skwisgaar asked.

"I beens thinking about it," Toki replied. "But I tryings real hard not to get attached. I's going to lets him go when he big enough."

"It amn'ts until dey abouts two year old or somet'ing dat dey turns on dey parents because dey readies to go be jack-offs on dey own."

Toki laid on his stomach, much like the first time they ever held discussion in Skwisgaar's bathroom, and smiled. "I thoughts you didn'ts like me with the puppy. What change?"

"Uhh. . ." It sounded excessive to say that Skwisgaar didn't want to see Toki as capable of not becoming attached to something he cared for, so he settled on a second truth. "You likes havings a pet, don'ts you?"

"Ja, but is like you say. Is a wolf. You can'ts tame one of those past a certains age."

Unable to help himself, Skwisgaar laughed. "You cans maybe if you work hard enough. If you does de right t'ing."

"That woulds be cool. But I don'ts really know what I would does with him. He wouldn'ts want to hangs out in my room all the times, and I don'ts think he woulds really gets along with the yard wolves." Toki brushed his fingertips over Skwisgaar's shoulders, invoking a hush between them. They indeed had something else in need of discussing. "So."

"I gots to know about what you says." Skwisgaar crossed his arms on the edge of the bath and rested his chin on them. "Does you thinks about me as you owns? Nots just when we doing t'ing, but all de time?"

"Has been hards not to, all along. Evens when you fuckings other people, I don'ts think that the same as what we does. You don'ts know those people. I didn'ts know the people I fucks for that first littles while. But you, I knows. I see a parts of you no one else do, and I feels responsible for that. I takes care of it. You's so different with me thans with anyone else, so I believes I mights have a you that you don't shows very often. The reals you, what want someones to take cares of you, who won'ts leave you high and dries with no notice, wills listen to all the thing you say, and wills only makes you feel good because you gots trust in that. So that's why I thinks you mine."

"You wouldn'ts be far from de truth," Skwisgaar told him. "It ams a differents kind of comfort, to be around you."

Toki blinked, then stood. His clothes came off again and the tub's water level increased as he slid into the other side. "Comes here."

Skwisgaar wound up situated with his legs thrown over Toki's, earning light scratches at his calf. "So what ams dis, den?"

"Exactly what it is," Toki replied. "We's good friends what have sex. I don'ts feel a pressure to puts a name on it like a relatesingip or likes you my boyfriend, because you's much mores than that."

Skwisgaar came up dry too, when he tried to pinpoint a correct label. "I wouldn'ts even know how to explains it, if we hads to."

"Oh. . .we mights."

"Does we?" Skwisgaar shrugged. "How long we beens doing dis? No ones even figured it out. Nat'an t'ink he some big gay, so he ams conksegrating on dat. Dids I tell you he t'inking about datings a guy?"

Toki scoffed. "He won'ts. He so stupids, he really think wakings up with a guy makes you gay? At least he seem open to the idea of there beings gay people in Mordhaus. Or whatevers we are."

"I don'ts know about you, but I don'ts feel like makings dis into a bigs announcement, likes Nat'an at dat band meeting. Fucks it. We does what we does, if dey finds out, dey finds out. I don'ts really care."

"It is what it is," Toki repeated. "If we don'ts make it into a big thing, they won'ts either. Things are pretties normal around here, so I think that speak for itselfs."