Chapter 4
Jiraiya cackled gleefully to himself, rubbing his hands together.
'That bastard Ikari has it coming to him! He'll rue the day he tried to cheat me out of my profits!'
Indeed... Jiraiya had a long and sordid history, with many crimes and immoralities abounding throughout.
However... This had nothing to do with any of them.
When Jiraiya first wrote Icha Icha, a man named Ikari was contracted as his publisher. Unfortunately, Jiraiya didn't read through the contract.
And it was only afterward that he found out that Ikari was going stealing most of the profit.
But now Jiraiya had the means to ruin him! Ikari's main source of income was his casino... And he now had the means to which to totally bust the house... Without cheating.
It was a good day to be Jiraiya.
"Ok, Naruto... Just remember what we talked about. You go in there, and you win as much money as possible. Just go to the highest cash game you can find... And win. Actually... Better yet, if you can find a blackjack table, or maybe craps..."
"Aw, come on, Ero-sennin! I just want to train! Cards are fun and all... But I gotta be a kickass ninja, too!"
Jiraiya sighed. Couldn't the brat see how important this was? He'd just to have to show Naruto how much girls liked the high rollers, then...
"How about this... You walk out of there with more then, say, quadruple the money you walked in, and I'll teach you one of the Yondaime's signature jutsus, ok?"
"DEAL!"
After getting the heads up from Kakashi, Naruto and Jiraiya left on their way to Tanzuki Gai, for Naruto to get some revenge (not that he knew it) for Jiraiya.
Of course, if questioned, Jiraiya had a number of other reasons prepared for why he was doing this. Some of them were even applicable and logical, too. The best one he had was that it was for filler scenes for Icha Icha Swords. He would make up a premise (like, say, one of these other gamblers had kidnapped Tenten, or something), and that Naruto was winning her back. However, writing was easiest done when there was also visual information on what to write, so getting Naruto here and letting him gamble was the easiest way to get the stuff down.
It made a little sense, and most would probably just accept it as being one of Jiraiya's eccentricities. In fact, it was even true, to an extent.
There was a reason that Jiraiya did all of his best writing while peeping, after all.
There were also some other, more minor reasons, like showing Naruto there was something he was REALLY good at, which would give him something about himself to take pride in. Maybe give him a way to make a living if something should ever happen to his ninja career, or something.
However, as Jiraiya followed Naruto in... He immediately noticed something that pretty much proved to him that Naruto was essentially the avatar of the Luck God.
For there, sitting at a table gleefully dealing out cards, was his old teammate, Tsunade.
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"Itachi... I have a bad feeling about this."
"As do I, Kisame. He is with Jiraiya of the Sannin, a foe neither of us could hope to defeat. However... Pein-sama has made it clear that we have to capture the Nine-Tails now. For whatever reason, our schedule has been rushed."
Outside the casino, two evil-doers plotted. Dastardly plans were formed, then quickly broken down and discarded, all in an effort to figure out a way to separate the Vessel from his teacher.
What they come up with, while not the best of plans, was the best option they could see.
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"Naruto... Change of plans. That table. Go to that table, now!"
"Bwa-What? You said to find the table with the most visible money! That table is decent, sure... But it ain't the most."
"Naruto... That woman over there is my old Teammate, Tsunade. Ya know, the one that your little girlfriend with the swords looks up to? Just go and play at that table, alright?"
Naruto, quietly protesting Tenten being his girlfriend, made his way over to Tsunade's table, and sat down in an open seat directly across from the woman.
"Well... Aren't you a bit young to be playing here, kid? Why don't you go outside and play with some other children, and leave the adults to their own entertainment."
Naruto was going to be nice to the woman. She was, after all, his teacher's old teammate, and apparently the idol of young women everywhere.
But then she went and insulted him.
"Why don't YOU go outside and knit something, old woman? Maybe go bake some cookies or something? Because old hags certainly shouldn't be hanging out with people this much younger then them!"
"Why you little brat-!"
Just as Tsunade looked like she was about to reach across (or maybe break through) the table and strangle Naruto... Jiraiya appeared.
"Damnit, Naruto! I told you to place nice with her, not antagonize her!"
"You never said that, Ero-sennin! You just told me to take all her money!"
Tsunade sat back in her seat, eye-twitching.
"Somehow, I'm not surprised to see you training ANOTHER little brat, Jiraiya. Would it kill you to ever teach any of them manners?"
"Yeah, well... You know me, Tsunade. My students may all be brats... But they tend to be the best ninjas of their time."
Jiraiya was playing it up a little, because he wanted to see Tsunade's expression when she found out what happened to Orochimaru. No one would ever expect him to have died by Toad-Squishing.
As Naruto started to puff up in pride at that, Tsunade swiftly burst his bubble.
"Well, I can see that MAYBE Minato was worth that title... But what the hell has THIS brat done to deserve a title like that?"
Now, it should be known that Tanzuki Gai wasn't THAT far away from Konoha. Word spreads easily, too, especially about Important Things.
No one actually recognized Naruto here... But many of them had heard the stories of the Genin who slew legendary ninja to show his love for his woman.
So when Jiraiya replied to Tsunade... Many began to listen.
"Well... Naruto here has done some extraordinary things lately. A couple months ago, he slew Momochi Zabuza, one of the former 7 Mist Swordsman, and took his sword. And, just over a week ago... He saved Sarutobi-sensei's life... And killed Orochimaru."
Silence filled that area of the casino.
Tsunade looked sharply at Jiraiya, and then turned her gaze to Naruto.
After a moment or two of Naruto looking back at her proudly... She laughed.
"Do you honestly expect me to believe that THIS brat killed Orochimaru? I don't think YOU could kill him... So why believe this kid could?"
Naruto bristled.
"I did! Are you calling me a liar, hag? I dropped Gamabunta on him, and-"
"Yeah, yeah, kid... Save it for someone who'll believe ya. Now, back to the game- HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!"
You see, during the whole time they were talking, the card game had continued. And Naruto had continued to play, even while not even paying attention.
Tsunade was shocked... No, stunned... To see that Naruto had somehow amassed 9/10 of the chips on the table in that short timeframe.
Tsunade gaped. Jiraiya started chuckling, breaking Tsunade out of her reverie.
"Yes! This is more then enough! Now ya have to teach me one of the Yondaime's jutsus, Ero-sennin!"
"Sure, sure, Naruto. Yeah, Tsunade, that's one of the other reasons why we're here... Naruto is pretty much the luckiest person I've ever seen at cards. Why, just the other day he won a THIRD legendary sword off of the Copy Ninja, Hatake Kakashi, in a game of cards; That old chakra blade of Konoha's White Fang. Impressive, no?"
Tsunade was sick of hearing Jiraiya praise the kid. She didn't believe a little genin could kill Orochimaru... And she didn't believe the kid could be THAT good at cards.
"No way... He had to of cheated. You're pretty good at that, though... I didn't even notice ya doing it. So I guess you are good at something, it seems... Though I don't know if cheating at cards is a skill to be proud of..."
Naruto leapt to his feet, anger forming a visible aura around him. No one accused him of being a cheater! That was, well... Cheating! And cheating was wrong!
"I'm not cheater! Maybe if you didn't suck so much, I wouldn't win so easily!"
Tsunade also stood up. By this time, everyone else playing at the table had quickly backed away, but they and many more had turned to watch the escalating fight.
"Are you still insulting me, kid? I've killed people for less! Don't make me kick your ass."
"Hah! Bring it! I could beat you any day of the week!"
"Is that a challenge?"
"Hells yeah it is! Outside, now!"
With that, Naruto ran outside, leaving Jiraiya (who was swiftly collecting Naruto's winnings) and Tsunade within.
"I hope you don't blame me if your kid dies, Jiraiya... He started this."
To Tsunade's surprise, Jiraiya started to laugh again.
"Oh... I think you're in for one heckuva surprise, Tsunade. After all... Have you ever known me to make jokes when it comes to Orochimaru?"
Jiraiya turned and left, leaving a contemplative Tsunade to follow after him.
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"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT HERE!?"
This was most definitely NOT what Jiraiya was expecting to see when he arrived outside.
For, it seemed that there were people waiting for them.
And not the good kind of people.
Out in front of the casino was Naruto confronting two people Jiraiya hoped not to see on the trip.
Well, not these two in particular... But any team from Akatsuki counted as bad news.
Especially when they're Hoshigake Kisame and Uchiha Itachi.
"No, you idiot! You don't use the Food Cart Destroyer in the middle of a crowded city! You might kill civilians!"
And especially when Naruto's idea of fighting involved dropping toads on people.
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Indeed, Itachi and Kisame had been hoping to get Naruto when Jiraiya wasn't around.
It was pretty much the best thing that could have happened, really. Without Jiraiya around, there should have been no problem disabling the Jinchuriki, and making good their escape.
But... to Itachi's surprise, after Naruto dropped the huge toad on them (or tried to)... Kisame seemed to freeze up.
He looked... Scared. Terrified, even.
Itachi turned... And saw Jiraya and Tsunade exiting the building.
"Kisame, control yourself. Even though Jiraiya and, apparently, Tsunade of the Sannin have arrived, doesn't mean you should-"
"Not Tsunade! It's that kid! He's the Sword-Thief!"
Itachi's brow rose. He hadn't heard any such thing about their target, before.
"Sword-Thief? Do explain."
Itachi thought it might help them stall for time, seeing as all of their opponents stopped preparing to fight, to listen to Kisame's explanation.
Or, more accurately, Tsunade had stopped to listen, while Jiraiya had pulled out a pen and paper, and was scribbling stuff down.
"You were there when we heard about this guy the other day! Ya know, he's the one who killed both Momochi Zabuza AND Orochimaru, just to give their swords to show his love to some girl. I'm NOT going to let him add Samehada to that list!"
With that, Kisame shunshined away. Itachi, standing alone for a moment, swiftly followed after.
Naruto turned to Jiraiya.
"Did I... Did I just scare away the giant Fish-man?"
Jiraiya nodded sagely.
"That was Hoshigake Kisame, Naruto... An S-ranked Missing nin, former member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, and possessor of one of the most powerful swords ever forged in Kiri; Samehada."
Naruto's face lit up.
"I scared away an S-ranked missing-nin? I'm totally awesome!'
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Tsunade was confused.
Apparently the brat HADN'T been lying. Jiraiya, either.
And, watching the kid gleefully dance about, he was pretty much the perfect archetype of the student that Jiraiya always seemed to train.
It also seemed that Naruto took to summoning toads fairly well... Though it wasn't nearly as large as the one Jiraiya used for the Food Cart Destroyer, the toad Naruto managed for that wasn't too shabby.
Plus, the one the size Jiraiya usually used would have probably crushed a quarter of the town.
She turned towards Jiraiya, though... Because there was something else bothering her about this situation.
"Jiraiya... Why the hell are their two S-Rank Missing-nins looking for this kid?"
Jiraiya sighed, and motioned Tsunade closer to him.
"Because... Well, because he's the vessel. Their organization wants to do something that involves having all of the... Biju."
And then it all made sense to Tsunade.
She turned towards Naruto, and spoke.
"Hah! I knew you were cheating! You must be using some of 'it's' power to be that good at cards, much less kill someone like Orochimaru!"
Naruto stopped his cavorting, and glared back at Tsunade.
"You take that back! I never use the fox's strength, not when I can help it! I do it all on my own, and one day, because of that, I'll be Hokage! Believe it, old hag!"
Tsunade's eyes widened as Naruto announced his plans for the future.
Just for a moment there... He had looked so much like Nawaki...
She turned her heard, and snorted.
"Hah, who the hell would want that shitjob? Being Hokage sucks and those would want to be it are even stupider."
Again, she could practically feel Naruto's chakra get agitated at that, and it looked like at any moment he would lose control and attack her.
"You take that back! Being Hokage... Being Hokage is my dream! Protecting everyone... Making everyone my precious people... That has to be the most important job there could be! Even if they don't like me, or they don't appreciate me... It won't matter! I'll still be Hokage!"
It all sounded so familiar to Tsunade... She had heard it before, from her own precious people.
But she was a lot more jaded now, a completely different person. Or so she liked to think.
Now? Now she laughed.
"Hah! Bring it, punk. Being Hokage just isn't worth it."
Naruto rushed towards her.
With that, the battle was on...
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"Kisame... You cannot flee from our target like a scared child. We NEED to capture him, and we need to capture him NOW. People from Konoha might already be on their way, sending word of our passage through the village."
"I know, Itachi... It's just that, well... I can't risk Samehada. You know why."
Itachi stared at Kisame for a moment, before responding.
"We will have to alter the plan, taking Tsunade into account. But... Regardless of her presence... We MUST try again to kidnap the vessel. If we fail, then there was nothing that could be done, and we shall return to headquarters. But best we not run that risk."
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... And it wasn't surprising in the least that Naruto was getting tossed around like a rag doll.
About 5 minutes into the fight, though... Something changed.
One of Tsunade's punches opened up a gash on the side of Naruto's face, parallel to his whisker-marks.
And it started to bleed.
Naruto was shocked when Tsunade froze up, letting one of his own punches through.
Jiraiya rushed into the fray, concerned at the course this was taking... He had figured by now that Tsunade would have gotten over her Hemophobia.
However, the second Jiraiya had let himself be distracted... A blast of fire headed straight towards him.
It seemed as if Itachi and Kisame had returned... Right in Tsunade's moment of weakness.
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"Kisame... Now is our chance. Tsunade seems incapacitated."
"Alright, alright... I just don't want to let that kid anywhere near Samehada! Who knows what he would try to do..."
"Fine... When we attack, the vessel is more likely to attempt to aide Jiraiya. So I will engage Jiraiya, holding him off while you handle Tsunade. She seems to be stunned, for whatever reason, so if you are fast, it can be over quickly. Then, attack Jiraiya, and I will use the moment of surprise to capture the vessel, and we make our escape."
"Sounds good to me."
"Then we attack... Now."
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Jiraiya swiftly dodged to the side of the fireball, returning the shot with a blast of toad oil.
Naruto pulled back a little, unsure of where he should go.
And then he saw Tsunade, still on her knees, frozen from the sight of his blood.
And he saw the giant blue man who thought he was going to steal his sword rush her, blade swung back to strike.
And he knew what he had to do.
"This will be easier then I thought-!"
Just as Kisame brought his sword down... Naruto appeared, tackling the blade itself from the side, knocking it off course.
However... There was no way Naruto could expect the properties of Samehada... The way that it shaved, more then it cut.
The result wasn't pretty. To Tsunade... It looked awfully lethal. Naruto had caught the blade, and continued to hold onto it... Causing more and more friction between it and him, which meant more and more damage was being caused every second.
But... That didn't seem to slow Naruto down. He remained standing, stopping the blade from reaching Tsunade.
Tsunade found herself looking up at Naruto's back.
Blood was gushing freely from his arms, even as Kisame pulled his sword back.
To Tsunade's growing horror, Kisame started trying to dislodge the boy from his sword. The frantically terrified expression on Kisame's face stood in stark contrast to his actions.
He waved the sword around, slamming it as hard as he could into the ground, trying to get Naruto off his sword.
Tsunade stood frozen in horror, watching the terrible scene play out
Kisame, though... Kisame was just as concerned as Tsunade. For entirely different reasons.
"YOU LITTLE BASTARD! YOU'RE NOT TAKING SAMEHADA AWAY FROM ME! I WON'T LET YOU!"
Naruto had managed to latch onto Samehada like a barnacle, for whatever reason. Finally, though, Kisame managed to dislodge him.
And Naruto's body landed at Tsunade's feet.
Naruto turned his head a little, looking straight up into Tsunade's face, and mumbled something that Tsunade could barely hear.
"I... Told'ja... Gotta protect... Everyone. It's what... The Hokage... Does."
'Even... Even now, he keeps to his dream? There's no way he'll survive! It'll be just like... Just like them...'
Tsunade felt as if her body was running on autopilot, almost.
It was surreal... It was as if she was watching from a neutral vantage, seeing her body stand up on its own, with chakra beginning to glow around her hands, before it winked out.
Even as Kisame managed to recompose himself after getting his sword back away from Naruto... A punch came out of nowhere, hitting him directly in the stomach.
And knocking him back a good 30 feet, directly into a tree.
Kisame, severely winded, looked up to see Tsunade standing over him, head down, but clearly enraged.
And he did what any smart man would do.
He fled.
Itachi, seeing that they had missed their opportunity, took his leave as well.
Jiraiya immediately ran over to Naruto, who had fallen to his knees, upper body covered in blood.
"Shit! We need to get those healed up, pronto!"
He looked over to Tsunade, who was still standing before the tree that Kisame had smashed into.
He sighed... 'It must have been a one-time deal for her, getting past her hemophobia like that...'
But, to his surprise... Tsunade turned, and walked back, calm as you could be.
And Jiraya was shocked even further when she knelt down next to Naruto, and began passing her hands over his arms, knitting flesh back together over the bones.
"Heh... I told ya, hag... That I'm gonna be Hokage, and protect everyone..."
Jiraiya put his face in his palm.
'Not even after getting his arms ripped apart can he be unconscious like a normal person... No, he just has to go and antagonize the person healing him.'
But, to Jiraiya's surprise... Tsunade merely laughed.
"Sure, sure... I believe you."
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Surprisingly for Tsunade (and not-so-surprisingly for Jiraiya, who had witnessed his healing before) Naruto was ready to go after a single night of bed rest.
However... Tsunade stunned both of them with an announcement.
"I've decided that I'm going to go back with you two, see how Konoha's doing."
"What the hell? I thought you said you'd never go back, years ago!"
Tsunade turned, and smiled slyly at Jiraiya, and patted Naruto on the head.
"Yeah, well... I want to see if this one really CAN become Hokage. Besides... I think you're onto something. I think that if he was MY apprentice, then I could do a better job of training him to become Hokage."
Jiraiya's eyes twitched, even as Naruto cheered at having a new supporter/teacher.
"You're just saying that because you want to use him to gamble for you."
"Well, um... Maybe?"
But, inside... Jiraiya was cackling.
He was right... Icha Icha Swords DID write itself. Even when he wasn't trying, Naruto managed to do the exact correct thing to make the plot better!
Though one thing was bothering Jiraiya...
"Tsunade... Don't you have an apprentice already, or something? That Shizune girl? Where is she, anyway?"
"Shizune... Disapproves of my gambling. So, every so often I ditch her in some random city and go off to gamble. Don't worry, she'll find me eventually."
And thus, Naruto made his way back to Konoha.
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-3 Days Later-
"Well, this isn't good. Tanzuki Gai is the last place I could think of that Tsunade-sensei could be. She's not here... Where on earth could she have gone?"
Shizune stood out in front of one of the major casinos in Tanzuki Gai, stumped.
"Well, if she's not here... I guess that means she left the country? That's not like something she'd do... But it'd be more likely then her going to Konoha, right?"
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At the same time that Shizune began her northward trek out of Fire Country, Naruto arrived back in Konoha, Tsunade and Jiraiya in tow.
Immediately word spread throughout town that he was back, and the rumors grew even more fevered when people saw Tsunade walking with him.
"What does it mean? Why would Tsunade come back with him? What could possibly be going on?"
The villagers discussed this, and more, from the second Naruto arrived. Rumors grew even stranger, from Naruto bringing Tsunade back as some sort of gift to Tenten, to Naruto claiming HER as a legendary weapon.
None of them made much sense, sure... But they were amusing.
With such rumors abuzz, Naruto wandered about town, looking for anyone that he knew.
Well, he was mainly looking for Sakura-chan or Sasuke, to let them know that he so awesome that even S-ranked Missing nins were afraid to fight him.
Of course, this presented a problem... Because Sakura was looking for him.
This meant that both were checking different places.
After all, Naruto would never expect to find Sakura at Ichiraku's.
However, Sakura had camped out there the second she heard that Naruto was back, expecting it to be the first place he went to.
So, the first person Naruto ran into was Tenten, who was being aided in her search by pretty much every civilian.
Naruto spotted Tenten walking down the street, and figured that he should go up and say hello, and let her know he was ready for the sword lessons.
"Hiya, Tenten!"
Tenten spun around, smiling, and greeted Naruto back.
"Hello, Naruto. So, err... How was your trip?"
"It was awesome! I found out that I can scare away S-rank missing nins, just by looking at their swords!"
Tenten sweat dropped at that, but her curiosity overcame her, prompting her to question that further.
"S-rank missing nin? You ran into S-ranked missing nins on your trip? And one of them was afraid of you? Do you know who they were?"
Tenten and Naruto found themselves walking as they talked, not really paying attention to where they were going.
It was pure chance that found them walking by the cafe where Uchiha Sasuke was eating lunch, surrounded by adoring fan girls... Who of course kept a mandatory 10 meter distance from him at all times, lest Sasuke get irritated at them for their blatant stalking.
"Yeah... Jiraiya said they were 'Hoshigake Kisame' and 'Uchiha Itachi'... Hey... Would that make the other guy Sasuke's brother? Man, I wonder why he ran away, too? It's not like he had a sword on him..."
Neither notice Sasuke, only hearing that last statement, choke on his sandwich.
Nor did they see several fan girls converge on his body, ready to perform the Heimlich and mouth to mouth.
"That's pretty cool... I think I even recognize that first guy's name."
"Yeah, he had this really huge sword that was covered in this rough stuff that shaved skin off. But I couldn't get a good look at it, because he ran the second he could. So, uh, anyway... When do ya want to do some training?"
As the conversation moved onwards, more and more rumors were created, though none as momentous as that last one.
The one that caused Sasuke to choke.
Word would soon spread throughout Konoha, and then throughout Fire Country, of the Genin whose mere presence terrified S-rank Missing Nins.
And as the two walked through town, Naruto remembered something that Tenten had asked the other day.
"So, remember the other day, when you were asking me if I had ever met Tsunade, the third Sannin? Well… Funny story, that…"
Naruto had finally managed to lower his voice a bit, so many of the onlookers couldn't hear what he was saying.
But all of them saw Tenten's response.
After all… It's not everyday you see a flying glomp executed with such precision.
Author's Notes: And Naruto has brought Tsunade back. She ain't gonna be Hokage, nor is she here to train Tenten or anything. After all, Naruto doesn't know anything at all about Tenten looking up to Tsunade in particular; He knows little girls in general idolize her, but that's it. Tenten never got a chance to mention it to him.
However, Tsunade is here now, for what purposes… We shall see.
No new sword obtained this chapter… Though Kisame will now fear Naruto like the plague. He certainly won't be happy if he gets sent out to capture Naruto again.
Next chapter will have some important explanations for Naruto, as well as him picking up another legendary weapon. Which one it is… We'll see.