Chapter 7
A heated debate raged through the Hokage's office, both sides shouting down their opponents in an effort to make their opinion known, and disprove the saying that 'Being the loudest doesn't make you right'.
"Look, Naruto has clearly shown that he's willing to go to extravagant lengths to impress this Tenten girl. I believe if he is informed of the presence of the Raijen no Ken, we will have a guaranteed success!"
Well, it really wasn't much of a screaming fight, as the Hokage only ever got into those over things that were personally important to him. Banning the sale of Icha Icha in Konoha, yes. Informing Naruto of some extra mission detail, no.
"And I keep on telling ya, Sarutobi-sensei, that the brat has no clue what the heck is going on! If ya force him into that position, though, of doing this stuff for some girl, he might start fighting it out of sheer stubbornness! And I won't let all my hard work on Icha Icha swords go to waste!"
Jiraiya, on the other hand, got into heated arguments all the freakin time, usually about some form of his perversion or other. However, he wasn't angry here... merely annoyed.
Both turned to Tsunade, as a seemingly neutral third party who hadn't said a word as of yet.
Tsunade shrugged.
Thus renewing the cycle of pointless arguing.
In the end, Jiraiya won out. Mainly because it was a rather stupid argument and Sarutobi finally got sick of it.
That didn't stop Jiraiya from acting like he'd won something important, though.
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"So, all 6 of us will be assigned to defend our client's runner, and if this Aoi fellow attacks, 3 of us will pursue while the other 3 continue to defend him? Isn't that a little... overkill?"
Most of the children were confused at the mission. It didn't make much sense, the way it was setup. It was a huge waste of resources, sending 6 genin/chuunin, and the 2 Sannin remaining, on what could easily be accomplished by just one team.
Temari looked around the room, trying to gauge the other ninja's reactions. All of them seemed either curious or bored. Those feelings were amplified by Sarutobi's mysterious response.
"We expect there to be several... complications, to the mission. Just think of the extra 3 people being sent as backup in advance."
'Complications enough to interfere with a mission with Gaara, much less two of the Sannin? What the hell are they sending us into?'
No more was forthcoming, though, so all went their own ways to prepare for the mission.
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"So... It seems as if finally my old home will be sending ninja after me, eh? Well, it's not anything I haven't prepared for."
Rokushou Aoi had just received word from one of his spies that Konoha had accepted missions to both kill him, and to defend that idiot Idate.
He was rather confident... After all, he had the Raijin. There weren't many that could stand up to that.
However, when he got to the part of the message on who was being sent... Well, he was nervous.
Ok, he nearly wet his pants.
"Tsunade AND Jiraiya? AND Gaara of the Desert? AND UZUMAKI NARUTO!? My God... I'm fucked. No... I can't think like that. I can plan around this. The Sannin have exploitable weaknesses... Yes, I think that I can handle this..."
Regaining full bladder control, Aoi began to pace around his room. The pacing grew increasingly frenzied, until he plopped himself back down in his chair and pulled out a magazine from under his desk.
"No, No, I have to prepare... I can pull through this..."
Thus Aoi went back to his last minute plotting, to be sure that he wouldn't have to fight anyone that could probably kill him with ease.
'Yes... I just need to lay a few traps...'
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Sasuke awoke, bright and early.
Today, he knew, was a good day.
Many would wonder why he would be almost happy, when he had just been left behind for a mission with his team.
Many would then realize that this meant he could train in peace, without Sakura or Naruto around to annoy him.
Yes... Today was a good day.
Or it would have been... If the agreement to let Jiraiya take Tenten along hadn't had a stipulation attached to it.
Gai did enjoy awakening the flames of youth in young people, after all... And he felt that Sasuke was long past the point where he should be completely flaming.
And yes, that IS how Gai phrased it when he said it to Jiraiya. And no, he did not understand why Jiraiya cracked up laughing.
So when Sasuke left his house, almost humming to himself at the incredibly peaceful lack of noise, he was promptly ambushed and dragged away by Gai, to be trained to be flaming.
And if he failed to be even mildly full of youth... He'd have to run a circuit around Konoha. On his hands.
Today completely sucked.
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It was to the surprise of those gathered for the mission that Naruto and Kankurou managed to hit it off with relative ease. Most would think that they wouldn't get along, seeing how Naruto was annoying, and Kankurou was an asshole.
But, Naruto made a comment about how cool that whole puppet combat thing looked like, and the conversation managed to stay on ninja tools for a while.
Odd, how talking about various ways to use children's' toys to kill people could be considered normal conversation.
The teams were in no rush to make it to Tea Country, and thus lazily (for ninjas, that is) made their way on foot.
Tsunade was in the front, Jiraiya was in the back, and the two teams were spread out along the middle.
Naruto and Kankurou were having their conversation up near the front. This caused all sorts of awkwardness for both Sakura and Tenten, though, as neither really wanted to hang out with the Sand-nin (both having some rather bad memories of these ones in particular), and both only really knew Naruto out of the group.
Temari, however, felt that now was about time to size up the competition.
-5 minutes later-
"Woohoo! Damn, pull that hair! Did you see that? Woah, I haven't seen a catfight this intense in years!"
Jiraiya cheered, as Tsunade laughed. Kankurou also was whistling and catcalling. Naruto stood, gaping in awe at the sight he had just witnessed. And, oddly enough, it was Gaara who broke the whole thing up.
"Ya don't see that sort of thing everyday! Go for the pants!"
-Flashback 4 minutes 30 seconds-
It sort of went down like this.
Temari walks over to Sakura and Tenten.
Temari greets the two rather snootily, asking how they ever got a chance to train in a tree-hugging village like Konoha.
Sakura makes a rather cautious reply, bordering on the polite, about how it must be much easier to live in the forest then out in the desert.
Temari replies with a derogatory comment about how such easy living must erode their fighting ability, and in particular refers to Tenten's skills in the chuunin exams.
Tenten, offended, makes a reply about Temari all but losing to Shikamaru, the laziest asshole to graduate from Konoha since the last Nara had attended.
Temari, nose stuck up in the air, made note of the fact that if SHE nearly lost to the guy, Tenten would have got her ass beaten.
Sakura piped up, saying they should both just stop insulting each other.
Temari made a comment about Sakura's hair, likening it to that of a prostitute she had once seen.
Sakura jumped Temari. After a few moments, Sakura dragged Tenten in, too.
Cue cheering from the men.
It wasn't even a ninja fight, really. Temari never had a chance to draw her fan, and instinctively lashed out with her nails. Sakura didn't really have much Taijutsu to speak of anyway, and Tenten didn't even think to draw a kunai or sword on her own 'teammates'.
No, instead there was just hair pulling and clothes ripping and whatnot... The kind of thing that girls not trained to kill would do.
And, surprisingly... It was Sakura who came out on top.
I mean, it's not like Temari ever fought with her brothers when they were little... They were both younger then her, and Gaara scared her far too much to even want to have pretend violence around him.
Tenten, however, did have experience with this type of fighting... But she was just overwhelmed by the sheer ferocity Sakura summoned up out of nowhere.
Inner Sakura had been on the verge of breaking out and killing Tenten for days, now, for some offense or another (none that Sakura would admit to, at least).
But then, in the middle of Sakura clawing at Temari's eyes... Sand appeared out of nowhere, pulling them all apart.
And revealing the fact there were now, amongst bruises and scratches that would fade quickly, many tears in all of their clothing.
Yes, it was a good day to be a young man (or a creepy old pervert), for sure.
All the girls had different reactions when they got a hold of themselves.
Sakura, still in the grips of an Inner-Sakura rage, was ready to start round 2. Luckily (Or unluckily, really), Gaara's sand put a stop to that.
Tenten, after being on the receiving end of Inner Sakura's onslaught, was quite dazed and confused. Her pants were oddly shredded around the thighs, as if someone had raked their nails up and down her legs. Well, actually, that IS what happened... Sakura had heard a few years ago that Sasuke liked girls with a manicure, and thus had been filing her nails for years.
Temari was just plain out shocked. Her clothes had also taken a beating, though hers were more around her shoulders then anywhere else.
THAT was not what she had expected to happen, that's for sure.
After being pulled apart by tendrils of sand, all three girls seem to remember themselves.
A choking sound was heard, off to the side. All three girls turned as one, and saw the source of the noise.
Naruto stood, eye's bulging, face bright red, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. And, after all the girls turned towards him, the last thread of fabric that had managed to hold the top part of Temari's outfit together gave way, falling forward and revealing...
Naruto passed out.
Naruto's mind came to, with someone clapping in front of his face.
"Yo! Hello? What the fuck happened to you, man? You just blanked out on me."
Naruto shook his head, and looked around.
Everything was normal, and more importantly, everyone seemed fully clothed.
Kankurou, the person who had all but slapped Naruto a second ago, kept on speaking.
"You just spaced out there for a good five minutes, man... What the fuck were you doing?"
Naruto could do no more then shrug, wondering why such a hot-err, odd scene played through his imagination like that so vividly.
He certainly had never done something like that before, and while he certainly didn't object to the daydream, wondered why it happened now. Though, now that he thought about it, it wouldn't make much sense for Sakura to win a fight like that, would it?
But then, Naruto realized, if Sakura was the one he liked, why was he fantasizing about Temari losing her shirt?
Perched invisibly on Naruto's head, Sex-Drive Naruto could only cackle as his influence continued to grow.
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The race was going well. The little misunderstanding if Idate going the wrong way was easily explained, and that rain genin team was decimated with ease, since they were outnumbered two to one (and was fighting several foes FAR outside their weight class). Gaara held their little ship together, and there wasn't a problem.
Well, actually, there was a problem.
See, Tsunade had gone missing hours before. And then Jiraiya had, too. No one thought much of it (because none of them expected to need them on top of there already absurdly large team, anyway), though.
Tsunade had gone off to place her bets. She had intended to come right back... But then she ran into someone who just happened to be talking about a brand new casino that opened up. A new casino that happened to cater more to tourists, and less to serious gamblers.
The person then speculated loudly that a seasoned pro at cards could make quite a bit of money easily.
Tsunade decided that just maybe she had some more time to spare.
Of course, the person was a plant by Aoi, and sure, there WAS a casino there, but it actually tended to boast the exact opposite clientele then Tsunade expected- Only serious card-sharks tended to play there. Aoi figured that Tsunade, expecting easy wins, would stubbornly stick it out for hours on end just out of pride.
Jiraiya found himself approached by women near nonstop from the second they entered the village the race was starting from.
Literally. Nonstop. The second he stopped talking to one, a new one appeared. Jiraiya, for a short while, was in heaven.
Then he realized what was going on. And, as much as he liked talking, and other related activities, with women... He had more important things to do.
So he played along with it. One Jiraiya-Kage Bunshin later and he was off to secretly follow after the teams someone was trying to separate him from.
But Aoi didn't know that. All Aoi knew was that Jiraiya and Tsunade were both being distracted.
Not only that, but Gaara, the next most dangerous person present, was out in the middle of the water, holding a boat together with sand. A boat that needed to keep on going if they wanted to win the race.
NOW was the time for him to strike. NOW was the time for him to slay that evil sword-thief, Uzumaki Naruto, in the name of Great Justice!
He could easily attack Naruto from a distance... He had numerous ranged techniques (though most did involve an umbrella... Silly, really, but it was the thing he was expected to do in Rain now), after all.
But no, he was a Villain. He had to do things a certain way. And he had gone to the trouble to set this trap for a while now... Might as well make it so he could gloat a bit before killing Naruto, instead of having to do it fast and from a distance, while worrying that the evil Sand-Demon might decide to kill him first.
No, he needed to separate Naruto from everyone else.
And he knew just the way.
Thus, while the broken ship miraculously sailed on... Aoi moved swiftly through the water, following behind.
He was aware of the rumors about Naruto. He knew what Naruto did with the swords he stole.
So Aoi was going to steal something from Naruto, before killing him.
With a great splash, Aoi flew out of the water, snatched Tenten from her place at the bow of the ship, and shunshined away. The stunned teams watched him reappear on the shore, before running into the woods.
And Naruto, without a second thought, leapt onto the water, running after him.
An even greater surprise was that Gaara promptly crashed the ship back to land, directed Kankurou and a confused Sakura to continue to defend Idate, and dragged Temari with him after Naruto.
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"So when do we nab the kid, eh? I just want to get him, knock him out, and get out, as soon as possible."
"With this Jinchuriki's background, that sounds like the preferred plan, Kisame. A drawn out battle will not be to our advantage."
Kisame and Itachi lurked, preparing to capture Gaara soon. Itachi, due to the fact that he was a good deal stealthier then Kisame, had been the one making frequent trips to observe Gaara and to ensure that he would be in place for them to trap.
However, Itachi had a rather one track mind. He'd do what it takes to get his current goal, and ignore all else.
So, when Itachi saw Gaara in the presence of Naruto... He just ignored it. After all, Naruto wasn't his business anymore. Let Deidara deal with that... It wasn't his problem.
But Itachi had just seen Gaara run into the woods... So he and Kisame would follow. Woods were perfect for kidnapping, or so he had read in the latest issue of Missing-Nin Monthly.
"Hey, at least we don't have to worry about this target stealing our stuff, right?"
"Hn."
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Naruto arrived in a clearing, only to stumble to a stop.
Sure, he saw Aoi, his current nemesis... The man was cackling evilly, on the opposite side of the clearing.
No, what had him slow to a stop was the fact that someone had placed a huge vat of some weird green substance in the middle of the woods. Even stranger, someone had set up some sort of elaborate rope and pulley system that would raise or lower someone or something into the huge vat of greenshit.
And, tied to the end of the rope, was Tenten.
'What the heck?'
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious? You can either surrender and give up to me the swords you stole, or we can fight... And as we fight, Lover-Girl here will fall into this acid, and die!"
Aoi then started cackling to himself again, glad that he had kept his subscription to Missing-Nin Monthly. He never would have thought to use the old 'Vat of Acid' trick on his own. Sure, it didn't have a high success rate... But Aoi was confident that if Naruto was willing to go to the lengths he had to get weaponry for this girl, surely he'd be willing to then give them up in turn for her safe release.
And he figured that the rumors must be wrong or missing details, because he couldn't find a single sword on the girl's person. It didn't even occur to him to check her scrolls, though (not that he had the time to, though).
So Aoi expected that Naruto had them around somewhere, and must just use as his main sword the one strapped to his back. One Aoi recognized as the other major chakra blade to come out of Konoha.
'It'd almost be like completing the set', he thought with a grin.
But Aoi made a mistake.
Well, asides from trusting a magazine for missing-nins, by missing-nins... That sort of thing had to be made to cut down on their own competition, so to speak.
See, he expected Naruto to act like the Good Guy, which would either involve attacking him, or surrendering.
Never once did he expect that Naruto would go straight for the girl... It simply didn't occur to him that he himself wasn't the thing Naruto was most worried about.
So he barely had the time to activate Raijin before Naruto leapt OVER the vat, sliced Tenten free, tossed her to safety, and landed with his sword drawn.
Aoi's thoughts were along the lines of 'God fucking damnit! I knew I should have gone with the pit of tigers!' He quickly activated the Raijin, but didn't have much time to do more then that.
Tenten's thoughts were progressing quite nicely down the path of 'Naruto certainly seems the type to not let go.' Only, in her mind, more romantically phrased, and Naruto looked taller.
Naruto's thoughts, if they had to be represented, would have Sword-Naruto appear, toss Sex-Drive Naruto to the side, and start yelling about how he was going to kick Aoi's ass.
Because he's the future Hokage. Dattebayo, bitch.
And with that, Naruto lunged forward, and began the fight.
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The fight was rather short. Aoi leapt to the side of Naruto's first swing, causing Naruto to stumble into a roll as he landed. Aoi came down with an over-hand slice, and Naruto swung his sword upwards as he recovered from his roll.
Several people arrived simultaneously. First, Gaara appeared with Temari in tow.
He was a tad disappointed that he didn't have a chance to put Temari in danger for Naruto to rescue, but at least it looked like maybe he'd have the chance to kill someone. If only his sister had thought to let herself get captured, then maybe she'd be the one Naruto would recognize?
Gaara sighed over his sister's inability to catch herself a man. But he supposed that this was the sort of thing he was there to help her with, wasn't it?
When the two swords clashed, a surprising reaction occurred- Both of the swords were violently repelled away. For Naruto, it wasn't such a big deal. Part of Tenten's training was to make sure he learned to never, ever drop his weapon, under any circumstance. Holding on to your weapon was key for any melee weapon user.
Aoi, though... He wasn't used to having a tight grip on the Raijin. There wasn't much that the sword just didn't slice through, and he found that he was able to maneuver it around better if he held it looser. It let him twirl it about in crazy patterns that looked rather cool, even though they were nearly as dangerous for his opponents as they were for him.
So while Naruto was blasted back onto his knees... Aoi was knocked back into a tree, and the Raijin was sent flying through the air, deactivated the second it left Aoi's hand.
It was then that the remaining people showed up. Behind Gaara Deidara appeared... And in front of Naruto, Kisame and Itachi did.
Naruto didn't notice immediately... He was following the Raijin (which was one of the coolest things he had ever seen) slowly arc through the sky... To land directly into one Hoshigake Kisame's hands.
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'Ok Kisame, get your act together. Aren't you known as the Daimyo-killer? Aren't you feared far and wide for your sword skills? Damnit, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, I can beat the shit out of anyone who says otherwise! I just gotta keep my cool...'
Kisame had been expecting to find Gaara fighting some random ninja in the clearing.
He opened his mouth to spout some bad-ass line to instill fear into his opponent, gesturing with his hand... only to freeze, seeing who was in the clearing with him.
That was when the Raijen no Ken landed in his hand.
Kisame, frozen, looked down at his hand, not rational enough to even recognize what he was holding.
He looked back up, gaping at Naruto... Naruto was glaring at him rather fiercely (more of a holdover from his anger at Aoi then anything else), and Kisame turned an even paler shade of blue.
Then he looked back down, and realized what he was holding.
'Me plus SuperSword plus Naruto equals OMFGRUNAWAY!'
Acting on his instincts, Kisame screamed like a little girl, tossed the Raijin into the air, and ran away.
Itachi paused for a moment, sighing at his partner's incompetence.
'He could not even manage a shunshin, but instead actually fled on foot? Perhaps he is not a suitable partner for me after all...'
And, on that note, Itachi followed.
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At the same time this was happening, Gaara turned to Deidara. Then he turned back to Temari, and swiftly knocked her out. Picking her up, he addressed the missing-nin.
"You. Kidnap my sister, so Uzumaki can rescue her."
Deidara paused for a moment, stunned by the demand. It DID sound like a good idea to him (after all, he had just read that article about kidnapping people close to your target in Missing-Nin Monthly).
But then, behind Gaara, Jiraiya appeared, dragging Tsunade behind him. Jiraiya looked directly at Deidara, and just drew a line across his neck.
Deidara gulped. Even with Sasori hidden, ready to strike... They couldn't take out Jiraiya and Tsunade together, much less Jiraiya, Tsunade, AND Gaara.
"Err... No thanks. I'm just... passing through, yeah. Bye!"
Watching the Akatsuki member go, Gaara could only sigh... This would be harder then he thought, if the bad guys (And Gaara did recognize the cloak the guy was wearing) even refused to kidnap his sister when he offered her to them! Clearly, he'd have to work with Temari on this.
He knew his sister liked her independence, but if she was going to win herself a man, she'd have to have some give and take in who gets to maim people for her pleasure, or whatever it was normal people did to show affection.
Naruto walked over, and picked up the Raijin. He turned to Aoi, who was trying to quietly slip away. Aoi froze, realizing he was caught.
It had been a stupidly short battle. Naruto had won purely by luck. However... To Aoi, it didn't seem like that. To him, it seemed as if Naruto had just swatted him away, disarming him with only one movement. How could he have known that such a violent reaction would happen when two such blades met? No, to him it seemed like Naruto just swatted him like a fly.
Not to mention that both of the Sannin he thought he had distracted had appeared.
So, there wasn't much he could do. He had to surrender.
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Naruto made his way over to Tenten, who had been watching the fight rapturously. She, too, hadn't realized what had happened; only that Naruto defeated the jounin with one attack.
Not only that, but he had proven that he wasn't even mildly exaggerating that there was an S-Rank missing-nin who was afraid of him. If anything, he had underplayed it. The fact that Uchiha Itachi had also run... Well, Tenten decided that enough was enough; if there was anything else Naruto needed to prove to her, she couldn't think of what it was.
Then she saw Naruto approaching her, with the Raijin in his hand.
Every other time he had done this... Well, the sword had ended up with her.
Tenten started to smile. The smile grew as Naruto got closer, and then turned into a downright mischievous one.
And when Naruto got close enough... She glomped him again, knocking him to the ground.
"Thanks, Naruto! I don't know how I could ever repay you ANOTHER priceless gift... But you deserve this."
And she gave him a light peck on the cheek.
Naruto, completely not expecting this, froze up. He had no clue where to go next with this. He had some clue WHY she might do it (After all, he was the awesome ninja who had just rescued her from some asshole, and girls tended to like that), but he just couldn't think of the appropriate response.
'Kiss her back!'
... What?
'Take off her shirt! Get your hands up there! Yeah, you know you want to!'
Naruto's face grew confused. However, he noticed that Tenten started to look really angry.
Then he noticed Ero-Sennin standing off to the side, stage-whispering him those things, and Tsunade approaching to kick the shit out of him.
The mood completely ruined, he looked down at the Raijin, and then handed it over to Tenten, who he supposed he probably would have ended up giving it to in the first place. After all, if the Raijin and White Fang reacted like that together, he didn't want to use 'em both, that's for sure.
And then a thought hit him.
"Hey, Gaara... If you and Temari are here... Where are Idate, Sakura, and Kankurou?"
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Where indeed were Sakura and Kankurou?
The race was cake, really... Sakura and Kankurou just ran alongside Idate, wondering what the heck had just happened.
Well, Kankurou was... Sakura was pondering Deeper Thoughts.
Sakura found herself angry that she was where she was now... Not because she didn't like the mission, but that both those other girls were with Naruto, where she wasn't able to watch him and make sure they didn't try something with him.
After all, it wouldn't do to have some girl snatch him up, use him, and toss him to the side. Sakura could not consciously think up any reason a girl might want to stay with Naruto for any real length of time... Not when there were so many better picks out there.
'Naruto is so annoying, with the way he won't shut up, and always wears orange! That stupid jutsu of his... It's an insult to girls everywhere! And the way he always is shouting, and making promises... but at least you know he'll always keep his promises. And the way he treats people he cares about so nicely... Like they're the most important thing in the world...'
Sakura stumbled to a stop for a second, before noticing that the boys were gaining a lead on her.
'Wait, what am I thinking? I can't possibly be thinking about Naruto like... that. Can I? But what about Sasuke?'
Upping the pace, Sakura managed to catch up with Kankurou and Idate, and all 3 were nearing the finish line.
'What is it I want? Why am I so angry at those two ska-err, why the heck am I thinking of them as skanks? Because of how they make their interest in Naruto so obvious? I couldn't be... jealous of them, could I?'
And with that revelation, Sakura DID come to a stop.
Luckily, it was on the other side of the finish line.
Not that any of the civilians watching saw her... She and Kankurou were in the shadows, out of sight.
'It would explain why I'm so angry at the two... It's like their using Naruto, or something. They only like him because he killed Orochimaru and gives out those awesome swords... They probably don't even know the real him! The annoying goofball who'll do anything for you if you ask him...'
Sakura, ever the determined girl when it came to a guy she wanted, came to a decision.
'If a girl is going to get Naruto, it better be a girl that will appreciate him... And one that isn't just manipulating him into liking her... It'll be a girl he actually likes. And I'm the only one that fits that description!'
Thrusting her fist into the air, Sakura whooped in glee.
"Oh, you better believe I'm going to cash in on all those date offers, Naruto! And I'll even go to that ramen stand you like so much for a few of them!"
Sakura noticed a sudden lull fall all around her. Still holding her pose, she looked around, and noticed everyone in the area staring at her strangely.
"I, err, didn't shout that out loud, did I?"
The only response she got was Kankurou mumbling under his breath about how he might just need to invest in some orange face paint or something, with the way that kid seems to pick up chicks.
Author's notes: Well, it's been a long time, hasn't it? I've been rather obsessive with my WoW, which has taken up all my time (2 70s and a raiding guild do that). A comment I read today, though, reignited my muse enough to get this out and onto the presses, though.
Plotwise, the girls have all assembled. They all know what they want. Naruto is still in the dark. However, the growing strength of Sex-Drive Naruto will cause him to start to figure out sooner or later…
I don't know if I'm going to get anything new out anytime soon, but this was in definite need of posting.