Tutankhamunfreak: Ah, life is sweet.
Darren: Since when may I ask have life been sweet?
Tutankhamunfreak: Since fireworks night was invented. Don't tell me you haven't been to fireworks night!
Darren: not for a long time.
Tutankhamunfreak: well then you can come watch them with me! Now time for the disclaimers.
Darren sighs and glares at the audience
Darren: The saga if Darren Shan is not owned by Tutankhamunfreak but by the author Darren Shan. Now can someone please save me from this lunatic?
Tutankhamunfreak: I'm not crazy!
Darren: Help.
Chapter 2
Alan stared at the bowl in front of him. He wasn't sure whether or not he could trust the dark gloop in the bowl. The boy-Darren- had dropped them off in the hall they had been through before and they had been picked up by the two women before. They seemed much friendlier now that he and Tommy were not being accused of being spies. In fact they were the perfect hosts of you didn't count the name of the food they had been given.
"Bat broth isn't as bad as it sounds," the younger woman who had introduced herself as Debbie Hemlock said. She gave him an encouraging smile. Alan smiled back at her weakly.
"It's not the taste I'm worried about. It's what happens after," he said. Tommy was already happily munching away at the bread but Alan noticed that he hadn't touched the bowl of bat broth.
"Oh suck it up man. And they say the female is the weaker species!" the other woman who had said her name was Alice Burgess cried in exasperation. Alan stared at her. He had no idea who these women were and they were now trying to poison him with a bowl of winged rats.
"Well it's either bat broth or fried rat. Take your pick," Debbie said. Alan paled at the thought of the other delicacy and spooned a mouthful of broth into his mouth. He grimaced as he felt the leathery tip of a wing brush his tongue but other than that it wasn't as bad as he had first thought. 'That'll teach me to try something new' he thought to himself. Tommy noticed Alan eating it and tried it out for himself. His eyes lit up and began to shovel the stuff in his mouth as if it was the last meal of his life.
"So," Alan said once he was finished. "Who were those people in the hall we just came from?" He noticed them stiffen a little but then shrug at each other.
"The man dressed in black is called Mika Ver Leth. He doesn't like outsiders much," Debbie said.
"Or spiders," said a new voice. Alan turned to see a wrinkled old man dressed from head to toe in red sit at their table. "Seba Nile," he said holding a hand out for Alan to shake. Alan blinked at his polite tone and shook the outstretched hand.
"Alan Morris," Alan said.
"Tommy Jones," Tommy said through a mouthful of broth and bread. The old man nodded.
"The one who smells like he hasn't showered in weeks is Vancha March," Alice said stiffly.
"Yes, why does he smell like that? I know some people here are horrendous but none as much as he does," Alan said wrinkling his nose at the mere thought of the man's repulsive smell.
"Vancha is very traditional," Seba chuckled, "he drinks nothing but blood, water and milk and lives by the wild. Once upon a time every vampire lived as he does now." Alan nearly gagged at the thought of hundreds of repulsive men living in one space with no hygiene. There was only a certain limit one could take on the hygiene levels and Vancha was way past that mark.
"So who's the kid?" Tommy asked as he finished his meal. Seba's eyes darkened slightly. Even the women looked sad.
"Darren is the youngest Vampire Prince," Debbie said slowly yet carefully. She looked sad.
"Yes. The youngest Vampire Prince ever and with a history darker than most," Seba said quietly. I still remember the cheerful and innocent young boy that had only been a vampire for less than a decade taking on a world which was harsh on the young."
"You knew him when he first came here?" Alan asked surprised. "And what's a Vampire Prince?"
"Yes I knew Darren when he first arrived here. He was under the care of one of my old assistants, Larten Crepsley." Seba smiled at the memory.
"Oh," Alan said.
"Larten Crepsley…" Tommy said thoughtfully.
"What about him?" Seba asked, distracted.
"It's just… wasn't that the guy from the Cirque Du Freak? You know the guy with the poisonous spider that Darren used to be so crazy about?" Tommy asked, looking directly at Alan. With a jolt Alan realised that he was right.
"Yeah… Mr Crepsley and Madam Octa," Alan said remembering the words on the poster from so long ago. He noticed everyone at the table was staring at them. "What?"
"How long ago did you hear about the Cirque?" Seba asked. Alan thought for a moment.
"Twenty five years ago," he answered confidently. The others paled.
"Tell me, do you know a man named Steve Leopard?" Seba asked looking deadly serious.
"Yeah," Tommy said obviously not realising that they were treading dangerous waters. "Darren and Steve used to be inseparable but they were still our friends too. Darren was the best midfielder around." Seba looked between them carefully.
"If you value your lives you will keep that information to yourselves," Seba said gravely.
"Why?" Alan asked, suspicious now.
"Because Steve leopard is the Lord of the Vampaneze and will stop at nothing to wipe out everyone in this mountain," Seba said. A long silence filled the table. Alan could feel his heart pumping. He had known that Steve had had issues if that was what you could call them after Darren had died. Then there had been that weird questioning by the police when they had been moving thee graveyard and found out that Darren's grave was empty. But he hadn't expected this. He hadn't thought that Steve would be hunting down an entire race of people.
"You never told us what the Vampire princes were," Tommy pointed out, breaking the awkward silence.
"Oh, yes I did not. How rude of me," Seba said. "The Vampire Princes are the leaders of our clan. They preside over everything we do. The vampire Generals make sure that all we normal vampires stay in line and don't show the world what we really are. Like the police of the vampires," he explained. Alan nodded numbly tryi8ng to process this new piece of news. It all suddenly seemed like too much to comprehend. Odd how only a few weeks ago he had proclaimed that anything could be possible to his fellow colleagues if they just believed that.
"So what's the kid's full name?" Tommy asked. Suddenly Alan felt a feeling of cold dread. Please don't say it... Alan had no such luck.
"Darren Shan," Seba said.
"Impossible. Darren's dead. We went to his funeral!" Tommy snapped.
"As did we seven years ago. By all accounts Darren should be dead," Seba said gravely.
Darren: What? I should be dead!
Tutankhamunfreak: Well you did technically die at the end of the series. You went to paradise remember?
Darren: Yeah until you dragged me back to hell.
Tutankhamunfreak: I did not drag you to hell. I just brought you into a very interesting fan fiction.
Darren: Then why did you tie me to a chair?
Tutankhamunfreak: As you tried to get away. Now shut up. I need to think of the next chapter.
Darren: Please help me. I want to go back to Paradise.
Tutankhamunfreak: Stop moaning. I'll throw you back in the Lake of Souls if you don't.
Darren pales instantly and doesn't say another word.
Tutankhamunfreak: Please keep reviewing! And thanks for the awesome reviews earlier! I'll just say now that I brought Tommy back to life and he never met Darren but other than that the past is the same! Bye!