Zenigata paced circles inside the museum, his footsteps making a clicking sound with each and every step. The custodians, security guards, and docents who were watching him felt themselves getting more and more nervous each time Zenigata turned around. But the other police officers were not surprised at all.
"Uh... is there something wrong, Inspector?" asked the boldest docent.
"Of course there's something wrong!" Zenigata snapped. "Lupin let himself get caught the other day, so that must have been a distraction for something big!"
"What if you just got lucky?"
Zenigata gnashed his teeth. "Lucky?! I'm never lucky! This is all about skill—the best officer versus the greatest thief! But this time, I'm prepared. Just watch me!"
With his words, a strange alternative rock song, an hideous hybrid of a showtune and a Barenaked Ladies's song, begins to play. Inspector Zenigata runs to the center of the room and starts daintily dancing around the display cases, careful not to touch them and set off an alarm.
ZENIGATA:
I know that they always say
I've made empty promises before.
But nobody knows, that I was sure
of what I said every time!
And I'll lie in wait
for him to walk in through the museum gate.
Cause this time, it'll be a snap
with all my tricks and traps!
Tricks and traps!
A cage under a trap door,
an itty-bitty piece of fall-away floor.
With sixty-two pairs of handcuffs and a master plan,
I've gotta catch Lupin!
The museum staff and Zenigata's group of the usual INTERPOL officers slide into the scene, behind him, to be his background vocalists.
BACKUP SINGERS:
Ooh, he's gonna catch that man!
ZENIGATA:
Odds are he's gonna run into one
in that web of laser lights,
or maybe Fujiko'll betray him again
at the end of the night.
BACKUP:
Tonight!
ZENIGATA:
Police alarms and robotic arms
or a slippery oil slick,
I know that he'll slip up one day
and fall for my traps and tricks.
The song switches to a minor key. Zenigata's dance slows, and the lights of the museum grow dim. A bright spotlight flashes on and shines on him instead, following his melancholy ballet moves. His backup singers run offstage.
ZENIGATA:
Still, sometimes I wish that I could live another life,
where I wouldn't chase him 'round all day, where we could go out for drinks...
A perfect world where Lupin wouldn't sin,
I wouldn't have to worry about which of us would win,
and I wouldn't have to go through all this misery and strife.
But there's one thing that stopping me from living in that day,
a reason why always we have to play the games we play...
It's my duty!
With his rousing shout, the lights turned back on and his singers scrambled to pose behind him in time. The tune became faster and bouncy again.
ZENIGATA:
I'm a man with a plan
and this plan will not fail.
With these tricks and traps I'll finally
send Lupin to jail!
BACKUP:
Send Lupin... to jaaail!
Zenigata's song faded out, changing to a jaunty carnival tune instead. The music swelled as Lupin and Fujiko made their preparations outside the museum. They sing quietly, not wanting to blow their cover.
LUPIN AND FUJIKO:
Evading tricks and traps,
That's a cinch for me.
It's just what you get used to
when you're into thievery.
Lupin lifts up a grapple-gun.
LUPIN:
There's nothing I'm more prepared for,
than a piece of fall-away floor,
a little trap door!
An itty-bitty rail gun,
to sling a bridge over that hole!
Oh, just a little pull. What fun!
Fujiko sings a verse, as she take out gadgets from her purse.
FUJIKO:
Acid lipstick for the handcuffs,
Our escape will be so tight.
Revealing powder from my compact
for the web of laser lights!
They hold up more and more strange devices as the songs continues.
LUPIN:
A super-magnet to disarm
an alarm and maybe even a robotic arm...
BOTH:
And a giant sponge for an oil slick!
It's easy and breezy
to outsmart Pops, and his traps and tricks!
With that, Lupin picked up the grapple-gun again. He ran toward the museum entrance as Fujiko ran to the back of the building. Lupin stopped, aimed, and fired. He grinned as the recoil knocked him back. The bolt flew through the air, and shot through one of the museum windows. It shattered.
Immediately, a group of police officers ran out of the building. They saw Lupin, who waved at them. Lupin broke into a run, and the police chased after him.
Meanwhile, Zenigata also poked his head out of the museum, the staff behind him. He mumbled something.
"Shouldn't you chase him?!" the docent yelled.
Zenigata shook his head, frowning. "That was clearly some kind of distraction. I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't Lupin, but an animatronic fake!" He turned to the display case. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the crown was still there.
Suddenly, a cleaning lady bumped into him. Her cleaning bucket tipped over, spilling dirty water all over Zenigata's shoes. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" she said.
"Uh, that's all right." Zenigata awkwardly looked down at his feet. He turned back to the display case. "Guard the crown at all costs!" he yelled to the museum staff. They complied, gathering around the crown.
Zenigata looked back at the cleaning lady. "Uh, you have a dry cloth here?"
"Yes," she said. She took a grey handkerchief out of her back pocket. "Here, let me..." She put her arm behind Zenigata's head, and shoved the cloth into his face. Zenigata struggled, but his limbs went weak. His eyes rolled back, and Fujiko lowered him to the floor.
"Chloroform's not my style, but it'll do," Fujiko said, in her normal voice. She waved her arms and called back to the staff. "Eeek! The inspector fainted dead away!"
When the staff ran back to Zenigata, Fujiko slipped away into the shadows. She sneaked to the back of the museum, to the pieces that were on loan. She ran to the Egyptian Battery's case. She smiled, her face reflected in the glass. She quickly glanced back to make sure nobody was watching her. She opened her purse, and took out the acid lipstick. She drew a circle on the glass, and watched it burn away. She reached inside and took out the djed pillars.
She held one pillar under each arm, and made a break for the back door. She reached it, opened it, and slipped out, just as Zenigata was coming to.
Zenigata sat up. "The crown! Where's the crown?!"
"Oh, it's still in it's case." A janitor pointed to the display.
"Good..." Zenigata sighed, immediately falling back asleep.
Fujiko had rendezvoused with Lupin behind the hospital. She got into his Fiat, and they drove back to the hideout. They were giggling and full of energy, even though they knew it was a long trip back. Even though it was the middle of the night, the landscape looked like it was aglow to the two of them.
"We'll have plenty of time to spare!" said Fujiko. She was sitting in the backseat, with the pillars next to her. "With our extra energy, do you think you could, I don't know, steal the crown with me?"
Lupin smiled, watching her in the rear-view mirror. "Well, I had some other ideas about what we'd be doing together, but since I'm such a nice guy, how could I refuse? Besides, how could I refrain from rewarding you after all you've done for me?"
Fujiko sat back in the seat. She looked out the window. "You know, Lupin, I still don't completely understand why what they did upset you so much."
"What do you mean? They're supposed to do nothing together, not do nothing... together..." he trailed off. "Huh. I wonder... maybe it wouldn't have been..."
"What, Lupin?" asked Fujiko.
Lupin shrugged a little. "Nothing. Let's go set them straight!"