Interlude
Chapter 6
A/N: After two heavy chapters, I thought to add in one that's lighter, more gentle...and, yes, this is a Tiva chapter.
Tony combed his fingers through Ziva's curls and kept humming to her, hoping to help ease her somewhat. He couldn't believe how broken she had become in just a few short months. They were long for him, how much more like an eternity had they been for her? Did she have any hope in her heart that someone would come get her? He winced at the memory of the first look into her eyes (was it only two days ago?) when that bag came off her head. She looked beaten and broken, her gaze hollow and so painfully anguished that he didn't have vocabulary enough to ever describe it. Lost.
He gently cradled her head to his chest, thumb softly stroking her cheek while his other hand continued to comb through her soft hair. He laid his cheek on the top of her head. "We'll get you through this, Ziva. I swear we will."
She whimpered softly, perhaps a bad dream beginning and Tony would have none of it. "No, no. No more pain. No more fear my little ninja warrior. Did you know that my mom used to sing to me when I had a bad dream? She sang this old song. Ducky probably knows it because I think it's Welsh, even if he's Scottish, but she sang it in English-" He stopped babbling when the whimper grew louder and she began to move. He held her in closer, dropped a soft kiss to the top of her head and began to sing softly, his voice steady and sure,
" Hush my child, let peace attend the thee all through the night,
Guardian angels God will send thee, all through the night,
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I, my loving vigil keeping,
All through the night."
He kept humming the tune, words forgotten until she stilled and then her left arm suddenly reached out across him, hugging him, holding him and she sighed softly and relaxed against him.
Tony held her more securely, gentle and mindful of her injuries found and ones yet to be found. He had never once thought of Ziva David as fragile; powerful, intimidating and sometimes downright frightening in a sexy James Bond Girl spy kind of way, but never fragile. She felt so fragile in his arms at that very moment. So tiny, so breakable. Tony knew that she had lost a lot of weight while held prisoner, but it never really dawned on him how much until he and McGee picked her up to get her out of the camp. His arms tightened around her just a bit more, wanting to protect her and hold her close. Not knowing what to do, he kept singing softly to her.
Ziva sighed, hearing the gentle male voice singing a lullaby to her as she swam up out of slumber. It took a moment to recognize the voice and she was surprised by it. She knew he could sing, but not so softly, so tenderly. He usually was goofing around when he sang, especially in the mens' room. She didn't want him to stop because it soothed her so, but she had to say something. "You have a lovely voice, Tony. Why do you not sing like this more often?"
Tony stopped immediately. "Did I wake you?"
Ziva didn't move. "No. You did not answer my question. Why do you not sing like this more? You have a good voice. I would not mind hearing you sing like this more. You do not need to be so goofy when you sing."
Tony was taken aback with the unadulterated praise from a woman that crooned her way like a professional through an undercover op in Morocco as a cabaret singer. He had managed to upload a personal video on YouTube a while back that some patron had recorded and was flabbergasted at her voice. Sexy, honey sweet and sultry and so mesmerizing. One evening he shared it with McGee and watched as Probie's jaw dropped. It certainly didn't hurt that Ziva was stunningly made up and dressed in that royal blue number that made Tony do some fantasizing about her and that dress and that voice. "Th-hanks, Ziva. How are you feeling? Is the pain any better?"
Ziva was still for a few moments. "I still...ache, but it is better. You did not answer my question."
"Because your voice is so much better than mine," Tony blurted without thinking.
Ziva lifted her head off of his chest and shook it. "No. I am not the songbird in my family. I just do as best I can. Tali was the one who could sing like no other. I am just a poor shadow of her."
"Tali is your sister?"
"Was. She was killed by a terrorist attack a long time ago. I do not want to talk about it," Ziva said quickly. "Tony, you really do have a lovely voice. Will you sing for me again sometime?"
"Sometime," he said, searching for some comfortable ground. His eyes fell on the DVDs. "Hey, I brought movies."
Ziva took it at face value. "Yeah, which ones?"
"The Indiana Jones ones," he said, proudly. When her face fell because of memories that could be easily triggered as Indy got beaten and sometimes tortured in those films, he said, "I also brought the Tom Clancy ones. Let's start with The Hunt for Red October."
"That sounds good." Her stomach grumbled. "I think I need to send a meal request to the nurses' station. I am rather hungry."
Tony beamed. Whether he knew it or not, he was the one to help her turn the corner and feel better after the worst experience of her life, after the most terrifying experience of her life and he held her through the pain and tears and messiness and trauma. He did his level best to make her feel better and it was working. Partners were devoted to each other, but this was something different. What was this? What was it it that they felt for each other?
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"What the hell is this!?," Ziva said in a very panicked manner as she shoved the sad, sorry, tasteless, limp pasta and the rest of what they called spaghetti around the plate. " I cannot eat it. It's disgusting. I will vomit."
"Zi, you have to eat something. They're going to think you're anorexic or something. You have to eat-"
"There are maggots! I know they're there! I cannot...I cannot. Please do not make me! I am looking for maggots! He made me eat maggots! If they want me to gain weight then they will need to give me something I can est," Ziva shot back, extremely emotional. It was bringing back too much. "This is too much like...It is...I cannot and will not eat this...this...I cannot...I cannot," she burst into new, near hysterical tears.
Shaken, Tony immediately gathered her in his arms as she wept, she, clinging to him like a lifeline. Eventually she calmed. "It's okay. I'll go out and get something for you. Take it easy." He rang the nurses' station. When Megan entered, he kissed Ziva on top of her head and motioned Megan to speak with him out of the room.
"Listen, I know you guys are trying, but the food choices aren't helping her right now. That stuff was so tasteless and bland to the point of she didn't know what she was given to to eat, that it gave her a flashback to the camp. She was digging through it looking for maggots. That is epically not good. She's been through hell. What was the thinking of giving her stuff that would throw her back into an airless cramped prison with disease riddled food to eat? Gibbs warned you about her sense of smell and getting things past her sense of taste. You gotta do better or you're going to have to allow outside foods in or she's not going to gain weight enough to send her home to Bethesda," Tony said gently, yet he was extremely angry and fighting to reel it in.
"Agent DiNozzo-"
"No, she won't eat. You can't make her and she will hold to that unless she can be seduced by food that both smells and tastes good to her. It needs to trigger a response. She won't eat, otherwise. She won't be force fed. You're up against Mossad training. She has been trained to resist at all costs and don't think she won't do that here. She's the best of the best. She can outlast you. She beat a terrorist prison camp in Somalia. She is a highly disciplined and trained Mossad assassin. You think she can't break you?" Tony said with more than a hint of pride for his partner. "It doesn't matter what you see today. This is the person you're dealing with. She has discipline that would scare Catholic school nuns to death." Tony said, seriously. "I'd suggest you give in. Ziva won't."
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"McDelivery Boy, I need you to go to the nearest McDonalds and get Ziva the usual," Tony said into his cell.
McGee was genuinely puzzled. "But I thought she was on a specialized diet."
"Yeah, but that specialized diet sent her right back to the camp. She was...it was...really bad. Just get her the food, Probie," Tony said, pacing the hallway. "She just...get the food, Tim."
McGee was not lost on Tony using his first name. It must have been really bad. "Won't she-"
"Probably, but at least she'll eat."
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Tony re-entered Ziva's room. She was laying on her side, eyes distant and almost empty. He rattled the white bag with the red and yellow logo on it, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Look who delivers."
Ziva looked over at him and then the aroma hit her. Her mouth began to water and her stomach growled. "Is that what I think it is?"
Tony grinned at her. "You bet; the usual. Big Mac, large fries and an apple pie. Eat it slowly so you don't hurt yourself too much. Small bites and sips of water in between. You can't eat it all right now. I'll finish what you can't. Ziva, I just want you to get better."
"Give me the bag, DiNozzo," Ziva said, taking the bag out of his hands. Her hand immediately closed on the container of fries and she grabbed a couple and bit down on their salty starchiness. She chewed carefully and swallowed. It was so good. She ate several more before she turned her attention to the sandwich. Tony was right and she couldn't eat much, but she felt so much better after what little she did eat. There was some minor nausea, but, since she really mostly ate the fries, she didn't lose anything. If anything, she was drowsy again and drifted off watching Tony finish her burger.
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"Oh God!" Ziva cried as she shot upright, the agony in her midsection mostly in the background. She didn't need that complication, but that was not the most pressing need at the moment.
Tony jerked awake. "What?"
Ziva gagged, trying to hold it in. She motioned helplessly. "Now!"
Tony grabbed the bedpan and held it beneath her as she emptied most of her stomach into it. It was brief and violent and left her shaking and hurting. "You done?" Tony asked as he hit the call button for the nurses' station.
She nodded, laying back against the pillows, holding her ribs with her good hand. "I am better, thank you, Tony."
Guilt ate at him. "This was my fault. I had McGee go and get things too heavy for you to eat and it made you throw up. I'm so sorry, Ziva."
She shook her head. "No. You did well. I enjoyed it all. You made me feel...normal. That is something that I cannot push aside right now. I do not care if I-" Ziva broke off as Megan came in.
"What in the hell were you thinking by giving her that junk? She just threw it all up! She's supposed to be on-"
"Megan! Tony did right. I do not care that I tossed some of it up," Ziva defended. "It was better than what I had and it...it...helped," Ziva said, her eyes filling. "Do not blame him. It is what I needed, so stop; just stop."
Tony handed off the bed pan just as Ziva's face crumpled. He gathered her in his arms. "It's okay, Z, I gotcha."
She just nodded and buried her face in his shoulder and desperately tried to not break down in front of Tony. She lost the fight. She wept into his chest.
"I hate this! I hate it! I want to be in he bull pen waiting for an case." Ziva wept into Tony's chest. "I do not want to be sick and hurt. I want to be normal. I NEED to be normal."
Tony's heart broke and he held back tears. She was in so much pain. "I know, Ziva, but you gotta stay here to help you get well. After this, we're going to Bethesda and you know how good they are. You know they might keep you overnight and then...then you get to stay with one of us...because..."
"Because my beautiful new apartment turned into a crime scene courtesy of Michael and Mossad trying to clear up the 'loose ends'. I have no idea where I am to live after this." She let the tears fall. " I no longer blame you, Tony. I was angry and lashing out. I do not know what went on. I was out of the circle."
"Loop."
"Yes, I was out of the loop."
Tony cuddled her close, doing his best to comfort her. "Hey, you can stay by me as long as you need. It's a small place, but cozy for two. You need to do something and I just don't do for one; let me cook for you. While you heal, you can prep for me. It's better than this crap they've been trying to feed you, I promise. You can sleep in my new bed. Ziva, you'll be safe with me."
Ziva considered for long moments. "I know I will be safe with you. Will you be safe with me? Bodnar's people will be coming after you. Maybe-"
"You're coming home with me as soon as Bethesda releases you. Gibbs gave me protection detail for you in case Bodnar decides to take a pot shot," Tony said. " If my place isn't secure then we'll be staying at Gibbs' place instead of mine that might be compromised, he's taking the graveyard shift with you."
"No, he cannot! He needs to be sharp and so do you! Go to sleep!" Ziva commanded, frantic in her emotions. She was close to panic as Gibbs entered. He took it in and took over from Di Nozzo.
Gibbs took her in his arms and cuddled her trembling form close as he spoke. "You know I had a first wife and daughter. My wife was named Shannon, and our daughter was named Kelly. It was Paradise, as far as I was concerned. Shannon was beautiful and wonderful and gave me my beautiful baby girl. I wanted a girl, Ziva. I wanted to go to ballet recitals and Spring Concerts when she sang or played the flute or piano or anything else. Then,I was a Marine in Desert Storm. I missed these things." Ziva opened her mouth to say something, but Gibbs waved her off. This was his story. "Then she and Shannon were killed and my soul ripped open. I had death in my heart and it lead me down a very dark path. It killed part of my soul. Don't let this kill your soul, too. If anyone here gets this, I do. I have no Shannon anymore, but she would have welcomed you as a daughter of my heart. She would have loved you. I love you, Ziva. You are the strong, confident woman that I wanted Kelly to grow up to be. She would have loved you, too."
Ziva clung to him and wept harder. "I am not strong or confident. You should not be proud of me."
" You are and I am. You are loved and treasured and not just by me."
Gibbs shifted Ziva's anguished form from himself to Tony, whom held her securely and tenderly.
"Don't screw this up, DiNozzo. You see how raw and defenseless she really is. Don't screw this up." Gibbs said.
"I won't, Boss."
Tony held her as she wept her soul out. Eventually she stilled.
"Tony, after everything I said and did, why did you come after me?"
DiNozzo was quiet for a minute. He decided to tell the absolute truth. "We thought that asshole killed you. You're one of our own. We went in to take him out of the planet's misery. Revenge, maybe justice, I don't know the name Gibbs sold Vance on. And then we found you alive. Alive, Ziva. Do you have any idea the pure joy that ran through me and McGee at that? You know Gibbs gives nothing away. Do you know the look in his eyes when we carried you out and he saw you were still alive? I think he might have had his eyes mist up a little. We all were...we all...we had you back. You, Ziva. You are back with us and safe and sound and I know that I can't wait to get you back home again. Abby and Ducky went on ahead to take your records to Bethesda. You'll only be a day or so there and then you'll come home to Gibbs' place. Abby promised to stockpile things to eat and drink. Ziva, like it or not, your home is with us."
"Why did YOU?"
"I told you; because I can't live without you."