"Hey." It was one word, one simple easy word that could mean everything or it could mean nothing. Zero felt her heart start to race, pounding heavily in her chest. Her breath quickened and she could feel the heat of embarrassment creeping its way acrossed her face. That conversation, that entire conversation she had just had with her aunt; did Alexis hear it all? Of course she did, she had to have, the door was ajar and she and her aunt had been talking right outside it.
"Alexis." She started again, trying to get herself back under control. "Umm, what are you doing here?"
It was a stupid question to ask and she knew it was, why else would she be here? The look Alexis gave her was proof enough that it was a stupid question to ask, but right at this particular moment her brain wasn't exactly functioning properly.
"I came to see you." Alexis said calmly, her baby blue eyes held a fire that her voice did not. She was angry and Zero knew it. An overly calm Alexis was never a good thing.
"I came to see you since you obviously had no problem just trying to disappear on me." The use of the word 'disappear' was proof enough that the other girl had heard the entire conversation.
"Look I know I went about this in the worst way possible but I need to talk to you." Zero sighed as she made her way over to the desk that sat at the far wall and plopped herself down in the chair.
"I know. I know it all. I know more than the conversation that was just had on the other side of that door." Alexis indicated with her hand towards the door. "I know it all Zero, or should I say Kelly."
Zero felt her jaw literally drop. She knew? How could she possibly know? "How?" Zero managed to squeak.
"Apparently in your major freak out and rush to leave, you said a name you probably didn't mean to, and you obviously didn't realize."
Zero felt her mouth go dry and tried to swallow the lump that has suddenly lodged in her throat. She opened her mouth to say something but instantly closed it when she discovered she was unable to form any words.
"It's ok Zero talk to me." Alexis whispered softly, turning on the bed to fully face her best friend.
"What's there to tell, you know the whole story." Zero jumped to her feet and started for the door. "I think it would be best if I just went now."
Alexis was quick to follow, reaching out a hand and grabbing Zero around the wrist. "Please." She started. "I want to…no I need to hear this. I need to hear it from you, in your own words. I need you to tell me what happened to you five years ago."
The soft look on Alexis' face was the only convincing Zero needed. She nodded her head and motioned for Alexis to sit back down on the bed while she took up her spot on the desk chair once again.
Zero sat for a moment in silence, trying to think of where it was she needed to start. Alexis sat and patiently waited, pushing a distracting strand of scarlet hair out of her face and allowing herself to fully focus on the girl in front of her.
"Well I guess things really started to happen back in middle school. You know that age where girls start to realize that boys aren't quite as icky as they thought they were?" Zero started allowing her copper eyes to fall on her friend who simply smiled and nodded at her.
"Several of my friends started making these lists, which boys were cute and which ones weren't. They started ranking different qualities about the boys, their eyes, hair styles, and even their butts. It was something I wasn't able to do, I never found myself looking at the boys the way the other girls did.
"After several months of my friends making these lists and me never getting involved more than a noncommittal grunt I knew I needed to talk to someone so after a while I found myself over here, ranting to my aunt about the girls and their 'stupid boy lists' and 'why couldn't we make these lists about girls?' She sat with me and talked, nodded her understanding but always with this big smile on her face.
"Again after a while I started to realize that I didn't like the boys the way the other girls did, I found myself liking the other girls in the same fashion they liked the boys." Zero smiled and shook her head at the memory. She glanced up from where she had been staring at the floor to glance over at Alexis who sat quietly, but her interest in the story never wavered.
"I remember coming over here one night when I was in 8th grade, scared out of my mind thinking that there was something wrong with me. Why was it I didn't like the boys the way the other girls did?" Zero sighed. "Stephanie was my grasp on sanity, she sat me down and explained to me that sometimes girls don't ever like boys that sometimes they liked other girls and there was nothing wrong with that. Love was a beautiful thing no matter who you loved.
"Still I kept these thoughts and feelings secret, figuring it was best if no one but me knew how I felt." She ran her thumb acrossed her bottom lip, a nervous tick she picked up years ago.
"Go on." Alexis whispered knowing Zero was almost at the turning part of her story.
"I met a girl late in my Sophomore year, her name was Rachel. We became fast friends; always hanging out, always talking on the phone, where one of us was the other was always right there with them. Even over the summer break we spent most of our time together and I found myself falling head over heels in love with her." Zero gave a half smile at the memory.
"Just before school started up again I told her how I felt, that I had fallen for her. I was so relieved that she didn't look at me in disgust. I remember her leaning in and pressing a kiss on my lips and asking me what took me so long. We started our Junior year in high school as a couple.
"Things were going great, it wasn't a relationship that we hid, everyone knew we were an item and no one treated us any different, I think they all figured it was just natural progression in our friendship seeing as we spent all our time almost literally glued at the hip. We talked things over for a while and decided we should tell our folks that we had a girlfriend, that we were lesbians. No one else thought it was a good idea, seeing as most of my friends knew my parents and knew they were pretty religious."
Zero's eyes darkened as she prepared herself for the next part of her story. "I still thought it was a good idea, I knew my parents loved me and I figured they would still be able to accept me as their daughter, to love me no matter what. I was still the same person. Rachel and I both agreed we would tell our parents the truth.
"I made homemade stew that night, it was their favorite and I knew it was the easiest way to put them in the best mood possible before I broke the news to them. My friends were right." Zero chuckled to herself. "I shouldn't have said anything, I shouldn't have told them."
"The look in their eyes as I told them the truth, told them that I was a lesbian is something I will never forget. To them it was the ultimate betrayal. The pain I felt at knowing my parents wouldn't accept me was unbearable and I didn't think anything could top that." Zero chuckled again, almost sadistically this time.
"My father slapped me acrossed the face and asked me to repeat myself. Like the idiot I was I did, I told them I was gay. I know now he was giving me a chance to change my mind, but how could I possible deny who I am?"
Zero allowed her eyes to once more fall over to her friend. Alexis' eyes were wide with fear. A part of her wanted to say she changed her mind that she didn't want to know, she didn't want Zero to have to relive this pain but she also realized this was something that needed to be done, it needed to be said.
"That amount of pain is something the human body has a hard time dealing with." She continued. "It made me dizzy, it made me sick, and it hurt so much all at the same time. I didn't think that beating would ever stop; I thought I was going to die. I vaguely remember my father saying the devil had possessed me and that he needed to beat the devil out of me. Maybe he was right? Maybe some sort of evil did take hold of me that made me deserve what happened to me."
Alexis jumped to her feet at that. "No!" She shouted sprinting over to Zero and dropping to her knees and grasping the other woman hands, tears freely falling from her crystal eyes. "No Zero, no evil took hold of you; you did NOT deserve what happened to you."
Zero glanced down at their joined hands and managed to give a small half smile before clearing her throat indicating she needed to continue. "I woke after 2 weeks in a medically induced coma, to find my aunt Stephanie by my bed side, her and only her. My father was in prison and my mother disowned me. I awoke to her talking on the phone to a friend, I heard her say that my mother had said that I was 'less than a Zero to her now'."
"So that's why you changed your name to Zero?" Alexis questioned cocking her head to the side.
Zero gave a slight chuckle, placing her friend's hands in her lap before wiping the tears from the other girl's checks. "A little sick and twisted isn't it, but that is how I felt. I was less than a Zero."
Alexis shook her head; it was obvious that she didn't agree that her friend was a Zero. "Ok what happened next? What about Rachel?"
Zero frowned. "She came by a few days after the incident with a letter; my aunt gave it to me shortly after I woke up. In the letter Rachel explained that she never had any intention on telling her parents she was gay. In fact as far as she was concerned she wasn't. Her being in a relationship with me was how did she put it?" She stopped to think a moment. "Oh that's right, 'girls just being curious' and that she thought it was best if we didn't see each other again."
"That's horrible!" Alexis shouted.
"But then again it looked like everyone felt that way. No one came to see me while I was in the hospital, no one but Stephanie. She visited me every morning before work and then spent what time she could with me after work, even popping in most days on her lunch break. She spent her days off with me as well. She would cuddle with me in that tiny hospital bed watching crappy soaps and whatever else we could find. I was in the hospital for nearly three months before they let me go home and I was happy to discover that home was now here at Stephanie's place."
Zero smiled to herself as she glanced around the room that had been hers before she went off to college. Stephanie was like one of those moms that refused to change anything about the room once the kid left, insisting that they may need it again someday. She was right about that.
"I'm so sorry." Alexis said suddenly, placing her head on her friends lap. "I'm sorry I made you live through all of that again. I'm so sorry."
The smile that had been playing on Zero's lips started to spread into a broad grin as she ran her fingers through the silky scarlet locks on her lap. "It's ok really." Zero said softly. "I should have said something to you about my past sooner. I also probably shouldn't have freaked out when your step-mom figured out that I was gay."
"You were almost killed the last time an adult knew you were gay. I can see how it was a natural reaction." Alexis gave a slight laugh.
"I'm just trying to figure out how she figured it out." Zero sighed, clearly in deep thought trying to figure it out.
"Seriously?" Alexis couldn't stop the burst of laughter that escaped her throat as she sat back and climbed back up onto the bed. "You weren't exactly secretive about it."
A/N: Hey look at that a new chapter. I don't think I have ever uploaded this quickly. I think this is to try and make up for when I didn't upload for a while. Sorry this was kind of dialogue heavy. More to come hopefully within the next few days, although I made no promises this time lol. Please review.