Clara stopped rambling on about something and they stood up off the floor to look at Rory and the Doctor. "Well did you kick butt?" Clara asked biting her lip in that innocent way. "No" Rory laughed , "yea , I lost.." The doctors head drooped and a playful sad expression was held on his face , he looked at Clara who walked towards him and soothed him , "oh you poor baby" Clara held his face in her hands and softly smiled at him .The doctor could make Rose jealous but he wouldn't use Clara like that ... He would ruin the girls friendship just with that small act an he knew it was wrong.
"Oh - Rose" Clara whipped around leaving the doctor to almost fall on his face , "yes" she lifted an eyebrow. "Congrats ...on the proposal - and Rory." She said proudly "your brave." She laughed. "Thank you" the couple said in unison. Rory gave her a questioning look and Rose closed her eyes for a few seconds before speaking. "Can I talk to you -in private , for a moment Clara?" Rose turned towards a second room for Clara to follow, once they entered the room Rose shut the door and sat down on the bed ,next to Clara and took in a deep breath "what did you need to talk to me about?" Clara whispered , trying to be Silly as if what Rose wanted to tell her was some big deal. "Well ,May as well get this over with" Rose made a shaky laugh "go on" Clara supported watching her waiting for the news Rose was holding inside "I'm pregnant." Clara's breathing hitched and she felt as if she might collapse .. No this wasn't her child but it was her friend - who she hadn't seen in years! "Your what!?" Were the first words to jump out , she couldn't really tell what that reaction was but it was most defiantly shocked.
The Doctor looked at Rory who looked back at him , "awkward.." Rory said under his breath. The doctor silently agreed , he was more interested in his thoughts though. He would have to tell Clara about Rose eventually , and he knew it should be him to explain their relationship but then again Rose was her best friend. A loud "your what!?" Came from the spare room and Rory and The doctor jumped rushing to grab the handle. The door swung open to the girls surprise and Clara was pacing back and forth making some strange faces at something Rose must have said. "everything all right?" Rose smiled that tongue between teeth smile that should have only been for him-The Doctor. He was drowned in jealousy that Rory was the man who got to see that smile everyday , but he instantly turned back to reality and looked at the brunette then the blonde "yup" -"just a bit worried- that was loud" Rory laughed awkwardly and the doctor pulled him back and shut the door. "Well they're getting along fine" Clara stopped and looked at the now closed door. "Uh-huh" Rose rolled her eyes , Clara was always easily distracted.
Later that night Clara and The Doctor were allowed to stay the night , the TARDIS had locked them out and Rose didn't want Clara -or the Doctor to have to go pay for a room when they still had "friends" who could offer a place for them. The only thing was Clara got to sleep in the spare room and The Doctor would sleep on the couch. They were fine with that.
Rose laid next to Rory in the pitch black room turning and tossing "you okay love?" Rory's voice ruptured the silence. "Yea, fine - I'm gonna get some water" Rose informed him and made a slow walk to the door feeling her way to the kitchen hoping that she wouldn't wake The Doctor.
She didn't have to wake him , he had already been awake - couldn't get to sleep. Then without any warning she was shoved against the counter with more pressure then what was meant and a hand was clasped over her mouth. She made a small muffled yelp but said and did nothing more, as she quickly realized who it was. Her vision was adjusting to the darkness and she could feel the stare piercing her soul , and the hand holding hers was familiar but yet it was nothing like how it was. His hand was holding her left and the other moved from her mouth to grasp her hip holding it against the counter. His eyes studied her face from lips to forehead and back. She glared back at him waiting for a reason to why he was bothering her , let alone pinning her to the side of the counter. She could feel him pressing Into her holding her tighter , she felt like she might pass out from lack of oxygen as she was losing the ability to breath with him holding her so close. When he didn't speak she did , "what - do you want?" She spoke through gritted teeth.
silence.
10 minutes later or longer he spoke.
"Hello" was his answer , "what." She tilted her head "I haven't spoken a word to you all day , I need to talk to you" he explained further "so your holding me between the counters and you?" She rolled her eyes. "Rose please .." He trailed off. "What - okay!-what doctor ?" She hated this , when he would try to explain something and give up because he thought it was no use.
He pressed harder against her , she gritted her teeth as her back pushed farther into the ledge of the marble top. She was forced to bend back a little as his face suddenly appeared closer to hers and he watched her. She was afraid , this wasn't the Doctor she once knew , she knew he could never be this longing for her and he would've thought about how she was feeling at the exact moment- or , would he?
Rory began to wonder what was taking Rose so long but then he assumed she had either woken the Doctor by mistake or wandered off to the bathroom? Or Clara was still up and they were chit chatting some more. He eventually dozed off fading from reality to dreams of his and Rose's wedding - they were much better times then what Rose was going through right outside his door.
"Doc-" she tried to get out but he was rambling on about stories and whatnot "you see - I could never say those words to you. - ever..." His voice was fading in and out if her mind and she became dizzy.
The Doctor straightened her and wrapped his arms around her , she hadn't notice un-till now that tears were falling down his cheeks slowly but steady "doctor" she finally let out in a sigh "Rose please" he wailed into her neck , "please , please -please"
He kept repeating. "Doctor-" she said a bit more loud this time as she finally released her hands from his grip and held both sides of his face and brought his gaze up to look at her "what?" She asked . She didn't know how long they had be standing there , him holding her and she was letting him , not struggling and then she had asked again "what?" What did he want ,he finally gave in and answered the single word question. "Rose please , let me - let me , love you" the hint full gleam in his eyes were gone there was no mischievous look or evil glare or questioning glance anymore , he was just a lost puppy , like Rory had been and the doctor had lost one of the most important things he'd ever had. That was Rose. He wanted her - no he knew no,he needed her , he needed his medicine back , he was diagnosed for life and he would die needing this prescription called Rose. He could feel the thoughts growing in the back of his head of what he could do but for now he let her hug him
Back and let him stay lost in her eyes for awhile , a long while.
It was becoming late and even though tomorrow would be Sunday , Rose was already tired from all the excitement and surprises today. Her mind became hazy as the doctor spoke a couple words that she really couldn't make out. "I need to go to bed" was the last thing he had remembered saying , and the rest was muffled "mm-hms" and "uh-huhs" , before she noticed what had gone on , her vision was black and she was out like a light.
When she rose from slumber she could feel the warm arm wrapped around her and she snuggled into the warm body. "Mornin" she stretched , she flipped herself around to see in place of Rory was The Doctor. Instead of her bed she was on the couch , "-" she went to yell when he clasped a hand over her mouth and put a finger to his lips telling her to stay quiet. The he explained her worries "we didn't do anything - you just passed out on the couch .. And I had rather not slept beside Rory." He made a face. Rose was relieved "thank god.." She threw her head back , she was still curled up against the Doctor and neither of them paid much attention to the fact. "Well" she said embarrassed, the Doctor didn't make a face though he just smiled , he hadn't been this close to Rose , in-in a long time. To long. Rose knew this was wrong-Rory or Clara could've walked out any second , explaining to Rory would be difficult because he would try to murder the man , and explaining to Clara would just be awkward and still confusing. Rose brushed it away like it was flour on the counter , she could easily clean up - that's what she was telling herself. "I-I should move" she acknowledge the idea "yea.." The doctor looked Down , his smile gone. He knew this was wrong just as well as her but it felt right for him , and if he could he would of taken Rose right there and ran off to the TARDIS , but that was un-fair , to Rose , to Rory , to Clara. As Rose began to adjust herself into a sitting position and walk away he grabbed her arm pulled her to look at him and then he kissed her gently and let go and turned himself around facing the back of the couch not letting her see how empty he was without her but still savouring every moment of last night being able to be beside her and talk to her , he was mad - he knew that , Rose knew that best of all.
Rose sat stunned , then she walked away with her jaw dropped. "He kissed me" she kept saying to herself , she was a like a teenage girl still not getting over the idea a guy liked her. This time though he kissed her , and it wasn't Cassandra possessing her or a shitty duplicate him and this time it was still a new him. This regeneration of him was lonley and open , and sad ... He was always sad but this one couldn't hide it very well , not like the first man she'd met or the second face she had learned to love. He had opened up to her , let her in and expressed himself to her , told her what she had been waiting to hear for ages. "I love you" the words bounced and echoesd around her head ... He loved her and this was the real him.
But she couldn't love him , she wouldn't. He lost that chance a long time ago when he disappeared and didn't return. The tears started to form a clear gloss on her brown hues , and overflow , she wouldn't let him see her cry either she hated this - she hated him! He just took everything they had and made it perfect and she was marrying Rory!
She was so caught up in her own thoughts and day dreams she hadn't noticed Clara walk up to her well she was getting tea and then the clay cup fell to the ground smashing as Clara touched her shoulder.
Rose couldn't handle this.
Authors note: I'm so sorry I haven't posted for awhile but I should have a new chapter up tomorrow –reviews are loved , I hope I didn't miss any spelling even though I checked this over billions of times! Please review constructive criticism helps me improve to make this better ;)-Lex