Derek tried to turn on the shattered phone that was in his hands. He tried various times unsuccessfully. After the tenth time, he finally gave up and tossed it lightly on the small table that was next to his bed. Now was the time to toss things lightly right. He sighed deeply and fell back on to his bed, placing his forearm over his forehead. Stiles was still running through his mind. No matter how many times he tried to forget, he manage to appear in his thoughts just moments after. Derek looked over to the living room and saw all of Stiles' belongings scattered all over the place. How could he be so childish and try to get back at Stiles like that. Destroying his things won't help, but Derek was so mad, so hurt, and confused that Stiles had just walked out on him like that, without letting him explain things. Derek knew that they could've worked things out. Or could they? Why was there relationship so complicated. Like if he didn't know the answer. Derek screamed in fury and tossed the pillow closer to him against the wall.
He managed to get up and arrange Stiles' things neatly in the boxes and stacked them up in the middle of the living room. Maybe when he came to get them, they could talk. But what if he sent Scott, or Isaac? No. Derek shook his head. Stiles had to come get them. He wasn't as childish as he was. A small glimmer caught Derek's eye. A ray of sun had made it's way through the curtains and brought out the glow of they eye of a small blue stuffed bear that was sitting neatly in one of the boxes. Derek smiled and picked it up. This was the first gift he had given Stiles. He remembered like if it was yesterday.
o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
The lights of the carnival were bright and giving Derek a headache. But there was no escape from this torture. Stiles had dragged him all the way to San Jose for a date. That was the only way Derek had agreed to go out with him. Somewhere where no one knew them. Where they could be in love without having to hide it.
"Derek hurry up!" Stiles was ahead of him be a couple of feet. He was standing next to a booth selling all kinds of junk food. Derek was not in the mood to keep up with Stiles' speed. All the noise and the bright lights were not what he considered a fun date, but he just couldn't say no to Stiles. He had originally thought of a movie, after a nice dinner. He fantasized about it all through the drive here. He thought about how in the movie theatre, in the dark, he and Stiles were going to be able to cuddle, maybe even kiss out in public like a normal couple. But when he awoke from his daydream, they were in the parking lot of the San Jose Carnival. Derek was about to protest, but the smile Stiles had on his face was just the most beautiful thing Derek had ever seen. He didn't want to see that smile disappear just because he didn't like carnivals. "Come on, man! Don't take the fun out of it," said Stiles reaching for Derek's hand. Derek pulled back instinctively, and looked up at Stiles. A frown replaced that smile on Stiles' face.
"I'm sorry," Derek started to explain. He was not used to this demonstration of affection in public. He was so used to being so careful, that he didn't think of the consequences. He felt ashamed that he had pulled away from Stiles.
"It's fine," mumbled Stiles as he shook his head and kept walking without Derek. Ah great! He just had to ruin Stiles' perfect date.
"Stiles, I didn't mean to react like that," sulked Derek as he caught up with the boy and offered him his hand.
"I won't force you to do what you don't want to," sighed Stiles as he rejected Derek's hand. "It's not who you are and I respect that," he added giving him a fake smile. Derek felt like the worst person ever as he looked down at the floor. "Hey! No sulking, man!" Stiles patted him on the back. "We are at the freaking carnival! Lets have fun and make the most of it!" And just like that. Stiles was happy and full of energy as always, but Derek knew he was still hurting.
The time went by fast. After a couple of rides and a few carnival games, Stiles was walking out with a stuffed blue bear. It had taken Derek 30 dollars to be able to get it. His goal was to get Stiles a huge stuffed dog, but the game was trickier than what it looked. Either way, Stiles was content with the bear. Derek dared to say even more than content. It was the first gift Derek had given Stiles as a couple, and he couldn't deny the pleasure he felt seeing Stiles happy. He reached out his hand and laced his fingers with Stiles'. Stiles faced him with wide eyes. Derek just smiled at him, tightening the grip around the soft, yet somehow rough hand of Stiles. He noticed as a dash of pink made its way onto Stiles' face, and he couldn't help but smirk.
Back in the car, Derek had just climbed in when a pair of warm hands took hold of his face. Soft lips were crushed against his, sending a wave of warmth and electricity throughout his body. Derek's heart started to race and he just needed more, more of Stiles. His hands found Stiles' face and pulled it closer to his. He kissed hungrily as the hands on his face slowly moved to his neck. Derek found his hands trailing down Stiles' back, slowly lifting him towards him. Stiles accommodated himself on Derek's lap, not once breaking the passionate kiss. There was a small groan from Stiles that put Derek over the edge. He sat up a little pressing his body closer to that of the young man. Stiles' back was pressed against the steering wheel, causing it to go off. The loud noise had Stiles break the kiss and chuckle into Derek's neck.
"I don't think this is the most comfortable place to make out. Don't you think?" Stiles nuzzled into Derek's neck, sending chills down the older man's body. Derek couldn't agree more, but he didn't want to stop now. He wanted to continue. The taste of Stiles still lingered in his mouth. He licked his lips, remembering the ecstasy Stiles' lips brought upon him. He wanted more. He felt the weight of Stiles slide off of him. He opened his eyes to see the young man adjusting himself in the passenger seat.
"We don't need to go back to Beacon Hills right away, do we?" Derek blushed as he heard what his words sounded like. It was close to whining. What had Stiles done to him? Just one kiss had him begging for more. Stiles was going to be the death of him.
"Of course not." Those words had Derek looking up at Stiles almost immediately. " I had planned to stay the night here anyway," said Stiles with a smirk on his face.
o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
There was a loud knock on the door, which snapped Derek out of his memories. His heart started to pound a thousand miles per second. He had came back. He was here again. Derek's stomach flipped, and a smile creeped up on his face. He sprinted to the door, knocking over some of the boxes. He didn't care, tho. He could pick up everything after him and Stiles made up. He opened the door and felt his face fall to the floor. The person on the other side of the door, wasn't who Derek expected. Instead of the mess that Stiles was, standing before him was a blonde guy with bright blue eyes. Derek dropped the bear in his hand as he walked over to the living room and dropped himself on the couch.
"Wasn't who you expected, huh," said the blonde guy as he reached to the floor for the bear.
"Did you come to scream at me about Stiles, Isaac?" Derek asked as he faced the guy moving towards him.
"Considering you wanted to see him…." Isaac started but dropped the subject as he saw Derek's face took a turn towards a grimace. He let himself sit on the couch next to Derek. "But since you did bring him up…." Isaac started again but dropped once more as Derek got up from the couch and turned to walk towards the door.
"I don't need to know anything about him. He left and that's it. He clearly doesn't want to know anything about me, and same goes here," growled Derek as he opened the door. Derek felt blood rush to his face. His heart was pounding. He had this mixed feeling between anger and sadness. "Now if you can please." Derek suggested as his eyes went from Isaac to the door and back to Isaac.
"Fine," sighed Isaac as he got up from the couch, "but there is something that you need to know…"
"Everything that I should know, trust me, I know," argued Derek as he held the door open for Isaac. Derek could see the anger start to get the best out of Isaac as he tossed the bear onto the couch and sprinted towards Derek. His face was red and his eyes looked watery. Was he going to cry? Isaac tried to pin Derek to the wall but failed as Derek pushed him back, and he fell. Derek could see the tears rolling down his cheeks now. Definitely crying. "What is your problem? Why did…"
"He died," Isaac interrupted as he stood up from the floor and dusted imaginary dirt off his jacket. Derek felt as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water on him. He felt his insides roll with turmoil. He felt as tears started to form in his eyes. His arms dropped to his sides and he held onto the wall for balance.
"What? Who? You better not be talking…."
"Yes. I'm talking about, Stiles," cried Isaac having trouble saying the name. He wiped tears off his eyes as he went over to Derek and placed a hand on the older man's shoulder. Derek felt a load drop on him. It was like some had just dropped a piano on him. Derek fell on his knees. He was sobbing uncontrollably. He felt his heart split in two, right there and then. What was he going to do without Stiles. Derek could feel his whole world just crumble. Why couldn't he just let everyone know that Stiles was his life. He had to keep everything in secret and this is what it had led to. He looked over at Isaac, who was now heading to the door.
"When?" Was all that Derek could choke out.
"Last night, when he was heading back into town. He went off the road and crashed into a tree. He was on the phone with Scott," explained Isaac. Derek put his hands on his face and sat against the wall. His mind immediately went to the image of Stiles laying in the pool of blood. "He wanted to say bye to you, but you never picked up even though we called you a thousand times." Isaac was not helping. Derek felt another piano being added to his guilty load. Derek was crying uncontrollably at this point. Blaming himself for everything. He usually did this, and Stiles hated it. Stiles. The one person who put up with him, who loved him, was now gone. Derek didn't want to live. A world without Stiles had no meaning. He looked up and Isaac was now standing in the doorway, looking at Derek. Isaac blamed him. Derek knew that he did. Who wouldn't? It was his fault anyway. "Funeral is tomorrow at 3. We expect to see you there," muttered Isaac. Derek locked eyes with him and nodded. tears still rolling down his cheeks. Isaac nodded back and shut the door.