A/N: Wow, so I was able to type this bit up yesterday a little after I updated and finished it up this morning. I am just so close to the end that I just couldn't wait. Also I got almost 600 views yesterday from updating and that gave me another speed boost and I really hope you guys enjoy these last few chapters cuz I'm gonna have some fun writing them.

And The Final Battle draws near.

With these next few chapters I'm going to try and make them as long as I can without making them seem too drawn out because I want you guys to know how much I love you and want you all to enjoy this to the fullest.

Reviews make my heart and soul soar so you should totally give me some. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Amalgamating Flesh & Pixels

Chapter 12:

'Till I Collapse.

When I woke up I gasped grabbing at everything and anything within arm's reach, which just so happened to be the comforter from my bed. I clutched it in a vice like grip as I continued to gasp. I realized I still had my headset on and my hand flew straight to it, ripped it off my head and flung across the room. I was sweating horribly and I was spread eagle on the wooden planks on my bedroom floor gasping for air like a fish out of water. I felt tears building up behind my eyes which I had closed tightly, wiping my face with my free hand.

I was scared. And I didn't know what to do or even what I wanted to do.

So I just gently kicked my laptop away from me, I just didn't want to see it right at that moment, and I grabbed my white comforter and pulled it off my otherwise bare bed and curled myself into it. I breathed deeply and willed the tears and the pain that felt all too real to go away. My lungs burned and every breath I took made it worse, but that feeling and the taste of fresh air, real air, felt so good and was a whole new reason entirely that made me want to cry.

I laid there for I have no idea how long. I didn't even know what time it was and frankly I couldn't bring myself to care.

I'm sure hours passed and normally someone would have fallen asleep after that and honestly whenever I do cry to myself I typically fall asleep right after 'cuz crying sucks and it drains everything out of you and you just want to not do anything and that's how I felt. But never once did my eyes droop from exhaustion.

I did, however, cry. Hard. And long.

I felt more scared than I have in a long time. I was angry too, but the sadness was insuperable. I cried myself out after a while and eventually mulled over the thought of actually getting up since I had no idea when the last time I ate, even though eating was the last thing on my mind, but I also knew that I had ordered groceries a little a while ago and I needed to go pick them up or they'd give them away.

I slowly sat up, untangling myself from the sheets as I did and sat there. I stared blankly at nothing for a while. My torso hurt and my throat was sore and I had a headache and overall I was just plain depressed. I glanced up across the room where I saw my headset and my laptop sitting near the far wall. My laptop screen was red and had the words 'Game Over' flashing on it. I glared with all the hate I could muster in my current state, which was weak at best. Standing up, I kicked my blanket back onto my mattress and moved to the other side of room to my laptop. I reached down and touched my fingers to the screen, pausing and thought for a second. What was I gonna do? Just walk away? Pack it up and leave? Why? Because I was scared of some imaginary monster?

I was.

And that was all it took for me to shut my laptop and leave the room without so much as a second glance back.

The days passed without me really realizing it. After what had happened I couldn't bring myself to go out as often as I used to, which even then was to go do chores, buy food, and go to school. I'd go do whatever I had to do and can't ever bring myself to make little detours like I normally would. And that didn't bother me. But what does is everyone around me. I don't know why but it seems like everyone just stares at me and I swear I always see something out of the corner of my eye and when I turn to see what it is it's gone. And it annoys me and scares me just enough to send me scurrying home with my metaphorical tail between my legs. And it sucks.

Whenever I come home I eat whatever food I have and tinker with oddball things that I found around the junkyard make something that is actually a really good idea and then watch it fall to pieces afterwards. I just stay locked up in my rickety old house. I haven't touched my laptop or the headset for days now and I'm pretty sure it's going to stay that way. Yes, I'll admit there are times where I know Bunny or one of the guys messaged me about where I am and what's going on, but whenever I take one look at the piece of hardware sitting in the corner of my room my body fills with this inexplicable fear and I run out of there as quickly as my fleshy legs can let me. I feel sincerely horrible about it too. I wish I could send them a message of some kind, anything that doesn't involve direct contact to my laptop, saying that I just can't go on with this anymore. It's a selfish move really. Tooth's sister is in a coma along with, who knows, millions of others in the same state and here I am crying about the Boogey Man and refusing to play this dumb game anymore.

It was raining outside when I decided to make my first attempt at using my laptop since the incident.

It rained around here occasionally and it was nice, it just sucked if it flooded since I lived right next to the river. I was lying on the floor in the living room area listening to the rain pour outside. I watched the ceiling fan spin is slow lazy circles. There was a nagging feeling in the back of my head that kept telling me to check my messages, but I stomped those thoughts out the best I could.

What if they're mad at me? What if they need my help? What if Bunny thinks I'm some kind of coward? What if Bunny thinks something's happened to me? Oh, man the amount of stress I'm putting on them for just up and leaving must be horrible. They came to me for help. They needed me and trusted me enough to join their little crusade and I just walked out without so much as a goodbye or even a message at all. What kind of friend am I?

I shut my eyes tightly as I rubbed my hands over my face and gripped my hair tightly. I let out a frustrated groan as I quickly stood up, walked up the stairs into my room and stopped in the doorway. I eyed my laptop in the corner with a light scowl on my face. I'm just gonna read the messages, that's it. I don't even have to reply to them. Maybe send Bunny a message saying that something has come up and I can't be on the computer so much anymore. An excuse. I was good at those, right? I walked over to my laptop, which was covered in dust from lack of use and I kinda felt bad about that? It was weird; I mean I used to spend hours on that thing and didn't give it a second thought because on the other side of that screen were my friends. Actual living, breathing people who liked me as a person. Or at least I hoped so. Probably not after my little event.

I sat down and leaned against the wall as I pulled the laptop into my lap, wiping the dust away as I did so. Weeks. It's been weeks since the last time I went on and everything hasn't gotten better since then either and I didn't expect it to. That was probably Pitch's plan the whole time, to scare me enough to just leave and not come back so he could wreck even more havoc in my absence driving everyone everywhere insane. And it worked.

I lifted the screen up and saw that the battery was dead, well I kinda figured since I just left it lying here without turning the thing off. I reached over and grabbed a long cable that was hooked up to the wall and plugged it into the laptop. I turned it on then and waited as it started up. As the startup screen appeared in front of me I was waiting for the dread to kick in. Once my desktop showed up I almost closed it like it was an old habit I couldn't ever shake, but I had enough self-control to keep myself from doing that. I clicked open The Game Starter and my heartbeat picked up as it loaded. My fingers were jittery as I typed in my username and password and signed in. My hands were shaking, I was taking shallow breathes, my heart felt like it was about to bust out of my chest at any moment, and I was freaking the heck out. And I didn't even know why.

As soon as my profile popped up on the screen a distorted blank face had jumped out and screamed at me and I had immediately slammed my laptop shut pushed it as far away from me as possible and curled up into a ball, pulling my legs into my chest, putting my head down and wrapped my arms around me whispering, "It isn't real. It isn't real. It isn't real." My own personal mantra, over and over again as tears slowly streamed down my face.

I didn't try again until about 2 weeks after that. I had steeled my nerves for what was going to happen, assuming that it was going to happen again, and when nothing did pop out at me I felt incredibly stupid and angry. I felt like I was going to pass out from how hard my heart was beating. I had a little over 30 messages. Which, selfishly, I thought wasn't a lot since I was gone for weeks and I had only received 34 messages in my absence. I clicked open my inbox and another face screamed and reached out for me scaring whatever nerve I had left in me. I was so upset by that time though that fear was in the back of my mind and instinctively I had screamed at the top of my lungs back out at the face. I screamed with my eyes clamped shut until I couldn't breathe which by then the face was long gone. Shaking my head furiously back and forth covering my face with my hands I tried not to cry again for the third time that week. I was getting sick and tired of crying all the damn time. Crying never solved any of my problems in the past, you know what did? Actually doing something about it. And that was what I was planning on doing; conquering this incomprehensible fear that sprung out of nowhere.

I took a deep breath and placed my hands down onto the keyboard. I went through the first few messages, which were the older ones, and they were still responding to one of the holes leading to Pitch's Lair, asking about what I had found where was it located things like that. As I moved to the more recent messages they started to change tone, from serious curiosity about the lair to worried 'where are you' to urgent 'are you okay? Then finally to 'things have gotten worse where the fuck are you'. There were a few off topic messages from Bunny asking about my well-being, about what had happened, where was I and that made me feel a little better until I read the messages regarding the skyrocketing rates of people slipping into comas. The other guys sent their own little worried messages, even Sandy had managed with 'D:?' at that made me smile a bit.

But it also gave me a whole new reason why I was worried about seeing them again. I heard a little ping sound and realized I forgot to log in as invisible and when I checked to see who had sent me a message I felt a whole new wave of dread wash over me; Bunny. I couldn't just leave now that would add gasoline to already burning situation and that would be nowhere near good. I clicked open the message.

From: Spring-Time-Flowers [Bunnymund]

Subject: No Subject

Message:

We need to have a chat. Now.

I winced at the last word; I didn't even need to hear him say it to know the tone he would have said it in. The voice I had memorized for my own personal pleasure was now turning its own back on me. There was coordinates attached to the message as well; they were to the last place Bunny and I had talked.

More than anything I wanted to send him a message saying that I couldn't meet up with him. I had glanced at the headset on the floor beside me and I felt my throat tighten and the last memory it held. I shut my eyes again and breathed. Bunny was going to be furious if I said I couldn't meet up with him and even more so if I just left again. This was a double-edged sword and I just wanted to curl into my bed and sleep. I blindingly reached for the headset and put it on; it felt like needles were pressing into my skull and I sent him a message simply saying, 'okay' and logged into The Game.

Signing in this time felt different from the other times I had signed in. And it was awful. I felt like I was suffocating and the brief paralysis that it put me through scared away every bit of courage I had left as it felt like hands were grabbing at me all over and I wanted to cry again. Those whole 5 seconds were the most terrifying seconds in my life; where I felt the most helpless than I ever have in years.

As soon as I could breathe and move again I fell straight to my knees dropping my hold on my staff, shuddering and gasping. I heard someone coming towards me and I could already tell who it was. When a large furry paw grabbed me by the front of my sweatshirt and pulled me up by the grip my thoughts were confirmed. Bunny was glaring at me with all the hate I knew I deserved at that moment, but then I started shuddering again when my thoughts were taken back to Pitch's Lair. I freaked out in Bunny's grasp wiggling and writhing to get away from him. It must have confused the hell out of him because he had let me go and I fell to the ground clambering away from him as fast as I could. I sat down of the ground and tried to shake the feeling of Pitch's grip on my throat away. I wanted to cry again.

"Jack, what the hell is wrong with you?" Bunny asked agitatedly. I could also hear the worry in his voice, but he seemed to be sick with my antics and the moment and just wanted answers I probably couldn't give him. When I didn't answer he growled lowly and moved towards me again and it startled me in to standing up and moving away from him again and I glared the best icy glare I could muster which effectively froze him in his tracks.

"Don't." I said lowly, weakly pointing at him. I just focused on relaxing. "You, have no idea what I've been through these last few weeks."

"What you've been through? Excuse me, princess, but do ya have any idea what we've been through? I understand that somethin' may have happened to ya, somethin' that scared ya just enough to have ya run scurryin' off. More people are in comas now, Tooth and Sandy 'ave been attacked by Pitch's goons and findin' out that ya haven't been on in weeks. You abandoned us, Jack." Bunny said heatedly.

"I abandoned you?!" I said irritably now looking at him. "Do you know what happened when I was down there? Do you know what I saw down there?" I took a few small steps towards him. As much as I had missed him there wasn't anything that has set me off more than this. "I saw players down there, Bunny. In cages. They looked dead and looked like they were rotting down there and they even smelled the part too. Oh, I can still smell it now. I was trapped down there. And the worst part of all? They were all scared. Of me." I forced the last part out of my closing throat. Bunny didn't say anything, just stared at me and even if he did want to say something I wouldn't have let him because I started up again. "And then Pitch showed up." I gave an empty smile at that. "Oh, the joy that brought. He smelled just as bad as everyone else in there and by that time I was low on MP and I wouldn't have stood a snowball in hell against him there and he knows everything, everything, about me. Outside of The Game." Now Bunny was about to say something but I held up a hand to silence him, "Don't ask because I don't have a fucking clue." I stopped for a moment this time.

"What happened, Jack?" Bunny asked quietly, urging me on.

I looked up at him. "He choked me." I saw Bunny clench his fist and give a sheepish look as he looked down and away from me. "And then he… blew this… dark fog into my face. And I couldn't breathe. And I couldn't see. It felt like an eternity and more than anything I just wanted to die at that moment. I had hoped and wished and begged that I would die because I knew none of you guys would show up because none of you guys were on!" I said the last part a little louder. "I felt abandoned. There wasn't a damn thing I could've done to get myself out of there and when it was finally over I woke up in my room. Terrified. I didn't know what to do or even who to go to because I have no one outside of here, Bunny. No one." It was silent. "Every little glance I gave my laptop made me want to break down and cry and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've done just that in the past few weeks because I've lost count. I barely step foot outside of my house anymore and can't stand being in large crowds and it feels like everyone no matter where I go is glaring at me. With ugly yellow eyes like I'm the scum of the earth." I felt my eyes sting and I said the thing I hadn't had the guts to say out loud until then. "I'm scared." I stuttered looking up at him and I could tell that my face was an equivalent of helpless, sad, kicked puppy.

Bunny had moved towards me again but without a hint of malice as before, but I still took a step backwards shaking my head. "No, just. Don't touch me." I tried to ignore the look of hurt on his face.

He was quiet for a moment before he started saying quietly, "There has been less and less people loggin' on, which is a good thing at best, but now there are reports coming from out of The Game." He said changing the subject which was nice. "People are becomin' sick and deathly lookin' and no one knows what the cause is. It's happenin' here in Australia. North said the same thing is out there in Russia. Sandy and Tooth live out there somewhere near you I believe, probably a few hours away. We think this is the start of somethin' big and bad."

"How do you guys know where I live?" I asked.

"Manny tells us everything we need to know 'bout ya, Jack. Even where ya live." That put me on edge. People knowing where I live. I was by no means embarrassed about where I live, I mean it was my house; I practically built it from the ground up. It was just the idea that they knew. That doesn't make much sense, but it's like strangers knowing where you live and you've never even met them before; I guess that could fit this scenario perfectly.

"Oh, well, that's nice." I said. "What do you think will happen next?"

"Who knows. It's goin' to be somethin' bad is all we know. And possibly, won't be just restricted to The Game." He said somberly.

I knew exactly what that meant, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything when I felt a pain in my chest. It was the type of pain that you knew happened to you outside of The Game. I clutched at the area through my sweatshirt well knowing that it wouldn't do anything. "Uh, I have to get going. I'll, uh, come back later or something." I said hurriedly already getting ready to sign out.

"I'm sorry, Jack." Was the last thing I heard before I left. I don't what he meant by it; was he apologizing for yelling at me or for what had happened? I didn't dwell on it much before I came back to the real world.

I had no idea what was going on. I took the headset off and moved my laptop from my lap quickly moving over to the trash bin that I kept in my room and threw up. Maybe it was because I had gone so long without playing; that could also have been why I was seeing things. It wasn't uncommon to hear about cases like that; virtual reality can mess with your brain. I continued to dry heave until my stomach muscles couldn't take it anymore. I sat back wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I hadn't even been on for more than 15 minutes but I had a serious headache and I think I had a bloody nose too. I groaned as I grabbed for the tissues I also kept around wiping up the bloody mess from my face and tried my best to get it off of my shirt. I went and took a warm shower to get the tension out of my shoulders and didn't feel to up to eating so I went straight to bed.

I had no idea how that was going to be the last time I'd feel even remotely okay for a while.