A year ago my wonderful boyfriend, Augustus Waters died. My family said that I had to get over it, but I couldn't. I loved him so much. Today I cried a lot more than usually. Well, it happened a year ago.


Today my friend, who was his best friend, Isaac, came to my home. My mother said that I had visitor, and I thought who it could be. I was surprised when I saw Isaac. He had red roses in his left hand. In his right hand was his mother's hand. I was on the left side of my mother. Isaac was blind, so he couldn't see me, and that's why he looked at the right side of my mother.

"Isaac", I said so he could know where I was.

He looked at me, if I can say he looked at me... Blind can't see anything, so how he could look at me? Difficult thing. But let's say looked. So, he looked at me and gave the roses to me. I took them.

"Thank you", I said.

"I thought you need someone now, so I came here. It happened a year ago", he said.

"Yes, it happened", I said.

I took his hand and went to my room.


"The bed is right in front of you", I said and helped Isaac to sat down.

Isaac looked very good. I'm not sure is it because last time when I saw him he looked terrible because he cried and yelled because Augustus was dead. We had a meeting three weeks after Augustus' death, when we were able to talk. It was still hard. Isaac said to me at the meeting that he didn't know how I looked, was I crying and not well slept or okay, but he didn't care, he was going to cry and yell and not sleep because he missed Augustus.

Or his mother just made him to look good.

I sat down next to him.

"Hazel, are you okay? Do you still cry every night like you told to me at the meeting?" He asked.

"Isaac, I... Yes. I still cry. And I'm not okay. Are you?" I said.

"I'm never okay. It's just so hard. Augustus was so good person."

"You're right... I miss Gus so bad."

"Me too."

"Isaac, I think we must start to talk about something better. I go just sadder when I talk about Gus."

"Okay."

I hate it when someone says 'okay'. I remember Gus. And it isn't nice when you remember your dead boyfriend. I mean I remember him always, I think about him all the time, but it makes me remember him better. All moments when we were together. When okay was our always.

"How your eyes are?" I asked. I didn't know what else to say.

"Like always. I don't have them."

"Isaac."

"What?"

"Let's go to his grave."

"What? Really? I'm sure that you just feel worse if we do that."

"But I want to."

"Okay then." He sighed.

I took one of the roses Isaac gave to me and helped Isaac. Our mothers talked in the living room when we left the house.

"I drive", I said.

"Oh you think I can drive if I just want", Isaac said.

"Isaac..." I said and sighed.

We sat to the car and drove to the graveyard.


"Hi, Gus", I said and put the rose in my hand to a little vase.

Isaac sighed and said: "He's not alive, Hazel. He can't know that you're here. Sorry if I make you feel bad, but that's how it is."

"I know..." I said.

I said that, but deep in my heart I knew that he could know. We were there couple minutes in silence, but then Isaac spoke.

"I'm a bit angry because I can't see this."

"When you get the robot eyes you can see this. It's a world without Augustus Water, but I think one time is okay. Especially when you're going to see his grave."


When we went back to my home we talked a bit and then his mother came to my room and said to him that they must go. Isaac said goodbye to me and went with his mother. It was late, so I just went to sleep.


I saw a dream.

I was in Amsterdam. I was in same restaurant where I was with Gus on our Amsterdam's trip. There was just me - and Gus.

"It's nice that you came to see me with Isaac. And the rose was beautuful", he said.

I saw two full glasses of gold drink. We tasted the stars again.

"Okay?" He said.

"Okay", I said.

Then I woke up. I knew it was really him. It was the last 'okay'.