The Universe and You
Chapter 4
Disclaimer: Sure!
Coauthor: Caskettastic
Author's note: Not the last chapter.
As she stepped into the shower cubicle and turned the shower on, Kate tried to calm her racing mind. The shower heads from all sides of the top of the cubicle hit her skin beautifully, letting the water rush down her body like streams of a river. She looked up and closed her eyes, letting the water fall onto her face first, and flow through her hair. And down her body, dressing her skin with newness and rejuvenation. She wanted to be washed off of all this nervousness and anxiety, and stress for her fiancé's life.
Off all days to have a nightmare like that one, why did it have to happen last night, when everything seemed so real, so possible, and so near. She tried to push those thoughts out, and concentrate on the end, concentrate on kissing her Husband after the minister gave him permission to kiss his bride. A smile donned her lips at the thought. She wanted everything to go as planned. Everything would be perfect.
But the universe has never let her life go according to plan. So as soon as the smile arrived, it disappeared. She ran her hand through her hair, and over her shoulders. Today was her wedding day, and it surely wasn't going as expected. Here she was, worrying about her fiancé's life and hoping he'd reach their Hamptons home soon, when she's supposed to be pampering herself to the most relaxing shower, to get ready for the biggest moment of her life so far.
She put some body wash on her loofah and began to soap up, trying hard to focus only on the end. Not on how they were going to get there. And with images of him saying his vows to her, endeavoring to focus only on his smile and his eyes, she bathed in the soft warm waters of their bathroom.
After putting on her new pair of lingerie, Kate wrapped herself up in one of his robes,feeling it weave around her like a cocoon that smelled like him. She was drying off her hair when there was a knock on the door.
"Katie, May I come in?" Jim Beckett's voice came through
"Dad? Yes, the door's open." She answered.
Jim walked in with a proud smile on his face.
"You're early" Kate stated with an answering smile on hers.
"Well, I wanted to catch you before you get caught up in whatever you ladies do to get ready that takes you so long." he chuckled.
Kate laughed. It had been a long time since she'd seen her dad in such a light mood. She liked to think that he'd been looking forward to this day just as much as she was.
He walked towards where she was standing, and then sat down on the side of the bed.
"Katie, I just wanted to tell you that you made the best decision of your life by deciding to say yes to him. By deciding to not throw your life away. And as your father, I feel obliged to tell you, that after you're married, life is not always going to be a bed of roses…"
"My partnership with him these last few years has been anything but a bed of roses dad." she chuckled.
He smiled too.
"What I mean to say is that there will be times when you two might disagree on things, and it may or may not lead to fights and arguments of hurtful statements…"
She looked at him intently.
"But I want you two to have the courage to talk it out with each other. And not run away from it. Im sure everyone who's going to be present to witness your marriage this evening, will all agree that you two are made for each other… so don't ever give that up for small petty little issues."
"I won't dad, I'll fight for him... Whatever comes our way."
She leaned her head down onto his shoulder and he kissed her atop her head.
"He's a lucky man to have you love him so much. And don't let him forget that."
She laughed "It's the other way around actually. I'm lucky to have him."
After a few moments of comfortable silence in the warmth of her father's embrace, she said
"I know you feel the absence of mom today as much as I do dad, So I have something for you too."
She moves to gather something from her dresser , and place it in Jim's hand.
"This belongs to you dad" She says, as he opens his palm to reveal Johanna Beckett's wedding ring.
Tears welled up in his eyes.
"Katie, I…"
"I'm going to get my own today. And you deserve to keep this. It gave me the closure I needed. It will now give you the comfort you need." he looked into her eyes, and saw tears brimming there too.
"You're not allowed to cry today Katie" he said, trying to shift from the subject of his own tears.
She smiled and a tear rolled out of her cheek that she quickly wiped away.
"Oh but you are?"
"I'm giving my daughter away to her favorite author who spoils her endlessly. I'm allowed to shed tears of happiness."
She hugged him and said
"Thank you dad... For everything."
"Kate, Your hairstylist is here…" came Lanie's voice from the doorway, and father and daughter both startled apart at the sudden interruption of the moment
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry.. I didn't know you were in here ." Lanie apologized even as Jim shook his head.
"Kate, your hairstylist is here…" followed Alexis's voice.
"I'll tell her to wait downstairs…" Lanie offered.
"No No..."said Jim standing and walking towards the two woman at the door with a smile, and said "You ladies can continue, I'll come see her after she's ready." He patted Kate's shoulder.
As he walked out, Kate saw him pocket the ring and she smiled. Today, it wasn't going to be just her dad walking her down the aisle. Johanna Beckett was going to be there too.
Another hour later, Kate sat in front of the mirror, hair and makeup done, and admiring the beautiful earrings, the heirlooms that Martha gave her. It meant the world to her that Martha passed them on to her, and not any of Castles former wives. The fact that Martha believed in them enough to know they would last, honored her and filled her with a warm sense of elation.
As she stood staring at herself in the mirror, she was filled with excitement that the day was finally here. The moment she'd been waiting for was getting closer and closer, and walking hand in hand with that excitement was that fear and anxiety from her stupid nightmare last night.
"You look lovely Kate! Dad's going to be so awestruck when he sees you." Alexis said from Behind Kate.
"You really think so?"
"I know so. There's not a doubt in this world that his jaw is going to drop when he catches sight of you. In fact, there might be some kind of bet going on about whether or not he cries when he sees you." The young girl chuckled
Kate snorted ,she should have guessed the boys would have found something to bet on, even today. But she had to admit, there was something about the way she looked today. She had a different glow to her skin. Not just the glow any bride has on the day of her wedding, but the glow of a woman soon to be married to the love of her life, and to have tied herself to him in every way humanly possible.
She sat on the edge of the bed and rang him up.
"Hey there." he said a smile already present in his voice.
"Hey..." she said softly, relaxing with just the sound of his voice.
"Wanted to hear my amazing voice?" he asked.
"Something like that." she admitted.
"How's everything going there? You aren't still worried about the nightmare thing are you?" he asked, something in her voice tipping him off.
"Rick...Relax, I'm alright. Just focus on the road,okay?." she urged.
"why wouldn't I be focusing on the road. It would have been a whole other story if you were in the car with me, then I'd have trouble focusing on the road, not to mention trouble keeping my hands off of you." She could almost hear the smirk in his voice.
"Castle! Focus." She said, half joking.
"I am…"
"ON THE ROAD!" She heard him mumble something that sounded closely like 'mistress Beckett' but she couldn't be sure.
"How close are you?" She asked, checking her watch. There was an hour and a half left until the ceremony.
"About 20 minutes away.." he answered casually and that one line set the precariously perched ball rolling. Her insides clenched as that nauseating sense of déjà vu took over. His words, said in the exact same way as her nightmare, her hard.
She felt like two cold hands had creeped in through her ribs, and were now grabbing her heart and crushing it. Her breathing quickened as tears pooled in her eyes. Her whole body felt numb, the joints in her fingers beginning to hurt, although the latter might be a result of her clutching the phone too hard.
She stood up, and walked to the window, desperately needing some air, because right now, she felt like the universe was sucking her breath away, fine tuning its plan to ruin her life. A plan that would end with a burning car.
She didn't want to think about it, thinking would lead to believing it was true, and believing that would eat her up knew she was losing it. And she knew he knew that she was losing it. But suddenly everything was too close. He was too close. Too close to…
"Kate?" he asked his voice definitely worried.
"Rick please…please stay on the line with me for a while." she tried hiding the fear in her voice and failed miserably.
"Kate? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" his words made her hands fly to her cheek to check, and sure enough, she felt the wetness of her tears.
"Rick not now, I'll tell you .Just not now. Please don't hang up." She knew that the phone was answered through the car's Bluetooth, so he had both his hands on the wheel.
"Are you alone? Is Lanie there, or Alexis? Call them into the room, don't be alone. Honey you are freaking me out" the rarely used endearment betrayed the fear he was trying to hide.
She didn't even want to tell him yet what was haunting her thoughts. She didn't want to tell anyone. They wouldn't understand. They had no idea what it felt like to have an idea of what it would feel like to have your heart ripped out of right out of you.
She knew what it felt like, because she had experienced it through the visuals in her subconscious mind, last night. And she wasn't going to take any chances right now. They can call her superstitious or prejudiced, but right now she didn't care.
"Rick… I'm okay. Just stay on the line. Talk to me." She pleaded.
"Kate, what is this about?"his voice took a higher notch as he heard a soft sob.
"That's it, I'm calling Alexis, and telling her to get to your room right this instant and stay with you until I get there."
"Rick! No!" she yelled.
"Babe..."
" Don't! Just stay with me please…" she sobbed.
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." he was trying hard to calm her down. To calm his own hearbeat down. This wasn't like her.
"Rick, I love you." she said, suddenly but with all her heart.
"I love you more Kate. know that." He didn't miss a beat.
"I do."
"Nuh uh uh! .You can't say that until I'm standing next to you with the priest glaring at me because I am not paying attention to him at all." He said trying to lighten things.
A small smile donned her lips. Her perfect, amazing, unbelievable, gold-hearted man-child!
"How far are you now?"
"I'm not ac…."
And his voice was suddenly cut off. The last thing Kate Beckett heard was a blast,before the call got disconnected.
Fear took over her body. No. NO! NO! NO! NO! She tried his number again, it hit voicemail.
Again, and again. And then her world as she knew it, collapsed around her.
Author's Note: NOT, I repeat,NOT the last chapter. Three things you need to know about me. 1) I HATE sad/tragic/death-filled endings. 2) There is no character death in this fic. And 3) Read 1 & 2, take a deep breath, put away that gun you are holding, and wait for the next chapter. Two days. I promise.