Daniel tossed and turned on the bed for what must have been the 50th time by now. The morning light was already starting to seep in between the drapes - Day 3 has began. In his mind, he kept replaying the previous days over and over, like a glitched video. He kept trying to change things around in his memory - what if I said this instead of that? Would that have changed things?
But no matter how his mind broke down the scenes, it all came together at the end just the way it ended - Arajael walking off. Him, left alone in the tent. Daniel groaned. Maybe I should just jump from the window. I might break my legs. Maybe my neck. I don't think I can face today. He was never suicidal before. Despite the losses in his life, he never fully wanted to die, much less to kill himself. But this time he felt hopeless, though he was going to be let go (or so Bekhtar promised), the thought of leaving Arajael behind gnawed on his heart. Maybe she doesn't even want to come with me. She is not Sha're, Daniel. Don't over-dramatize things unnecessarily. But the logic worked only to a point, and after it exhausted its arsenal, his emotions started the assault on his reason.
So they kill me, so what? Daniel pondered. But his will to survive steered his thoughts into another stream - try to escape. Look for a way out. You taught her plenty, she can pass whatever tests they set forth for her.
The servants brought him food - he picked at it absentmindedly. Then he wandered the halls of the palace aimlessly; the design of the place was ridiculous - even when Daniel was trying his best to learn the layout - it still appeared to be a tangle mess of corridors and rooms. He hoped to see Arajael, but no one would talk to him, and the guards just told him to move along. He did find some parchment and coal in the kitchen (or one of them). This find enabled him to make some rubbings of the designs that he wanted to study later - this almost took his mind off of today.
He took another pass at figuring out a way out of the palace, but did so decidedly halfhearted. He was afraid to admit to himself that he wasn't ready to leave. He didn't want to leave. And it was not even the taste of the sweet life that he found himself, albeit amidst some of the most bizarre circumstance. And it was his last day on "the post". And yet, he felt like a life-time passed.
As Daniel poked around the maze-like corridors, he started noticing a strange pattern - the construction of the place really did not make sense. It felt as if the corridors and rooms rearranged themselves after he passed them, looping him back to the same, familiar places. At first, Daniel thought that he is simply tired, anxious, and perhaps under the influence of whatever strange food he was being fed. It would not be a far reach to assume that some of the local foodstuffs could have an ill, and even hallucinogenic effect on him.
He even tried leaving pieces of parchment here and there, tucked away from the sight, to see if he can follow the breadcrumbs to an unfamiliar corridor that perhaps would lead him to an escape. That plan was quickly foiled by a pair of diligent servant girls, who promptly cleaned up after him. Eventually he ran out of parchment.
Daniel eventually found himself back in the familiar "bath suite", where the quiet, but insistent women led him to a table,filled with all sorts of dishes. Here we go again, getting fattened up before the encore performance, Daniel thought to himself bitterly. Most of all he wanted to see Arajael. Somehow not being able to exchange something semi-normal, some sort of a casual conversation, made this whole thing even worse. The high, that he felt after their lovemaking faded away quickly in the honest and stark light of day. Although Daniel has no experience with one-night stands, he imagined that this what it must feel like. A strange, hollow feeling of loss, but a loss of something he never truly had to begin with.
Daniel obeyed the women, who all but shoved the delicate little pastries in his mouth and took a few bites. The airy dough melted between his lips - the taste was exquisite. He placed the flavor to be somewhere between vanilla, kiwi and jasmine. Savoring the delicacy distracted him from his troubled thoughts, but his enjoyment was suddenly interrupted by the commotion outside of the suite.
"I see you got plenty more where that one came for. Don't make me aim for that large one!" - startled, Daniel almost dropped the pastry. The voice was unmistakable, and belonged to none other than Jack O'Neill. The door swung open, and there he was in the flesh - his P-90 ready to fire, his glare aimed at the nearest guard, who slowly backed away from the Colonel. Daniel stared. Sam and Teal'c were right behind Jack.
"Danny, there you are!" - Jack grinned. - "See, Carter, I told you he is fine. Didn't I tell you he is fine?"
"Yes, sir. Daniel, are you all right? " - Sam took a few steps into the suite and assessed the situation. It was obvious that the amount of food, sprawled before Daniel was shocking.
"Uhh. yeah. How..Glad to see you guys. Didn't you get the message?"
"Yeah, we got the message. Bag-nut, or whatever his name is.."
"Bekhet"
"Yeah, that, told us that you were doing some consulting for them. He wasn't willing to explain anything further, so after explaining the situation to Hammond, we got the authorization to break the tradition and persuade these fine folks to come and make sure that you were all right."
"Right. How, exactly?" - Daniel, wiped the corners of his mouth, thanking his lucky stars that he was wearing his combat gear, rather than the pastel number Bekhet requisitioned for him a couple of days ago.
"The only way I found to be the quickest - by shooting up a couple of their vases."
"You do know, that those could have been priceless artifacts, possibly bearing religious significance for these people?"
"Much like you are to us, Danny." - Jack gave him the sweetest, the most sarcastic smile that he could produce. Daniel sighed. This was just awful. It wasn't that he was not glad to see his team - in fact, he spent a good portion of today trying to do just that - to leave, to break free. And there they were - rescuing him, and all he could do is blush from his embarrassment. If they only knew. Which they undoubtedly will, eventually.
"It appears that you have not been harmed, DanielJackson. In fact, your accommodations are most..." - Teal'c looked thoughtfully at the lavish table before them. Daniel could swear that he looked almost longing at the food.
"Obscenely posh? Yes, these folks sure know how to make a stranger feel welcome."
"Yes, yes, well, enough chatting. Are you going home?" - O'Neal grabbed a piece of something from the table. Chewing it thoughtfully, he nodded in approval.
"I can't. Not yet. Look, I promised not to disclose my ...reasons for staying here. But I also made a promise to not attempt to leave before my job here is completed. I do thank you for coming to my rescue, but I assure you that I am in no danger whatsoever. I am treated well, and I was asked to help with something quite important to these people."
"Daniel, this sounds...are you sure? Will you not at least explain what kind of job you are doing here?" - Sam asked. She didn't look sure. None of them looked like they were convinced.
"I cannot. I'm sorry. Once this is done, and I am on my way home, I will fill out the full report. All I'm asking you now is to trust me. "
The team hesitated, but after a couple of minutes of Daniel not making any attempt to stand up, Jack finally said:
"Fine. You stay and finish sampling your little "petty fors"*. We will remain outside of the palace. If we get any indication that you are in danger, we will have no choice but to extract you. Clear?"
"Quite. "
The team left, and once again, Daniel was left to his own thoughts. He didn't touch the food after that, nor wanted to wandered the palace. His mind was preoccupied with only one thing - giving the report to Hammond. He could dress it up, even lie, but he would be lying to himself. He had never falsified records, nor did he ever felt the need to hide the sometimes-ugly reality of interplanetary exploration. But this time, he felt, it was different. He felt that he was in the wrong. He should have fought harder, perhaps even let himself be killed?
But that would be absurd. The other part of him rationalized that this too, however strange and unusual, was a learning experience. He learned a lot about the lives of these people that he would not have done otherwise. and still...he dreaded the sundown.
And the sun set. With the approaching darkness, once again, Daniel was led to the room of his "sweet torture", as he called it himself. Pacing inside the rakha, he rehearsed any and all things that he would say to Arajael. What would he do? Could he possibly outdo the two previous evenings? Could he try to get out of it? Did he really want to get out of it?
"You remind me of a soo'leel in a cage, Dana-el." - he heard a familiar voice. Arajael slipped into the tent, while he was too busy pacing back and fourth.
"What's that?" - Daniel stopped, turning to face the princess. She had already slipped off the hood from her head, revealing her beautiful face. A small smile graced her lips.
"You never seen one? Most odd. Its a beast of burden. Stubborn and ornery."
"Like me?"
"Perhaps. Shall we begin?" - she reached for the clasp on her shoulder, but Daniel stopped her.
"Yes, but not in the way you think. I wanted to teach you something else tonight." - Arajael's dark eyes sparkled, and an imperceptible smirk flashed on her lips. - "Come, sit. I wanted to ask you to do something."
"I think I know what you would want to ask me, Dana-el." - her small hand started making its way from his knee and up his thigh. Daniel grabbed it, and gently pulled it away. Holding her hand, he said:
"you know, remember what I told you yesterday? About owning a man's heart? It's not always about making love, or physical pleasure. Surely, you have other talents. I would like to see you do something like that. Do you play any instruments? Dange?"
"Of course. Every girl is taught to play and sing as soon as they can walk. Is that no so where you are from?"
"No, not really, but singing and dancing, and music in general is a significant part of almost every culture on Earth. I would love to hear you sing. Would you do that for me?"
Arajael looked at him, as if considering his request. Finally, she peaked out of the tent and called out to guards to bring her something called a "rajara". Eventually, a servant girl brought something that looked a lot like a sitar, albeit smaller.
"I will sing you a song, Dana-el. Just one song. And then we will continue our studies." - she rolled up the sleeves of her robe and settled between the pillows on the bed. Daniel leaned across from her.
The rajar not only looked like a sitar, it also sounded a lot like it. Although the sound was slightly less resonating, and has almost an ethereal quality of it. He watched in amazement, as Arajael's deft little fingers plucked the strings at an incredible speed. The melody twined and weaved between them, enchanting and lulling Daniel to sleep. The melody, or more precisely, the scales that she played, were very much like the ones of the Middle Eastern or Indian music. The rich pronounced rhythm, that seemed to have its own heartbeat, the graceful rise and fall of notes, the ever-changing ebb and flow or never-ending melody.
And then she began to sing. He could not understand the language, but his trained mind did pick up a similarity to Aramaic. But it was not even the language itself, but the quality of the young woman's voice - Daniel never heard anything quite like it. It flowed in perfect unison with the notes, then veered into a perfect harmony, then joined the notes once more. It felt as it the music and her voice were two streams, running in parallel, then colliding in an exquisite explosion of the most delightful sound, then parting again. Echoing one another, beckoning, playing. He couldn't tell whether the song was happy or sad, but he felt as if he could listen to it forever. He could stay like this, with her, forever. Enchanted, hypnotized.
The song ended, and as the last note of the rajar faded away, the silence came crushing down on them both. Arajael looked at him, her head inclined. She simply studied him, waiting for him to say something. But Daniel was speechless. In his mind, he could still hear a faint echo of the divine sounds, but they were already being replaced by his own heartbeat. She must hear how loudly his heart is beating, can't she?
"Did you enjoy my song, Dana-el?"
"There are no words that I know (and I do know quite a good amount of them), that can describe how that song made me feel. It is one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard in my life."
"You flatter me. I am not the best singer in the land."
"But you are the first and only that I heard in your land. Could you tell me what this song is about? you were speaking a different language."
"All songs are written in the ancient tongue of the Gods. They have given us the ability to produce music, so the only language worthy of being put into a song - is the language that Gods themselves speak. But I do not know the meaning of the song. This language had not been spoken for many seasons now."
"Then how do you compose new songs?"
"We have all the songs we need. Mothers teach them to their daughters, and their daughters teach them to theirs. The songs of the Gods are eternal. Like the rivers, like the sands. They remain and do not require additions."
Daniel nodded.
"I think I understand. Would you sing me another?"
"I will not. Let us begin our study. The night is getting late."
"Look, I wanted to talk to you about something. I know I promised to complete this, and I fully intended to. But I must admit, I just...I can't do this anymore. Instead, I would like to offer you to come with me."
"Come with you where?" - Arajael moved the rajar off to the side, giving him an incredulous look.
"Come with me to Earth. You won't have to marry some stranger, or be afraid of him. You can do and be anything you want."
"I am not afraid. What would you have me be on your Earth?" - he eyes became colder and more distant at an instant. The "Princess" came out, and Arajael disappeared.
"Anything you want."
"And what do you think you know about what I want, Tutor? You told me last night that I can possess a man's heart, not just his body. Do you not believe that I can do this? That I might grow to love my husband, and he - me? I am a princess. That is my birthright. I am to become a queen - a hope and a light to many people. What would I be on your Earth?" - she narrowed her beautiful eyes, her delicate features wearing a mask of disdain. Daniel kicked himself, realizing his mistake.
"what will I be to you, Dana-el? Are you going to make me a wife?" - Arajael continue. Daniel lowered his head. His head was spinning. Suddenly, the image of Sha're filled his mind. How foolish he'd been. Of course he cannot marry this girl. He already has a wife. He still grasped at the hope of finding her, liberating her.
"Forgive me. I am a fool. Sometimes I forget that not everyone needs rescuing. I think the one that is in need of a rescue is me." - he said quietly. - "I will not be able to teach you tonight. Do what you will with me. You win."
Arajael said nothing. Daniel looked up, to find the woman look at him, and her gaze had soften up again now. She smiled.
"Sweet, Dana-el. You are not the first and not the last one to make this mistake. Not all who are different are in need of change. But I'm afraid this is really taking a toll on your body and mind by now. Awake, Dana-el. Awake, Daniel Jackson. Open your eyes. " - Arajael extended her hand and touched his forehead with her index finger. It felt warm.
Daniel felt the bed sway under him, and the light around him grow dimmer. His mind flashed with a quick panicked thought of "Earthquake!", as he gripped the sheets to hold on. The air became hot and he struggled to breathe. Arajael's face was fading away, as the darkness started closing in. He tried to move his hands, to hold her, to catch himself falling, but they refused to move. His body stiff, his lungs gasping for air - the walls of the tent were slowly fading, and the darkness started to take over.
"Arise, Daniel Jackson. Awake. Slowly, don't rush it, there you go..." - The voice was not Arajael's. It was Bekhet. Daniel struggled to move, but his body seemed to be tethered, suspended and bound all over. The darkness closed in. Confused and terrified, he tried to scream, but no sound came out.
Then, just as sudden, he was free. His lungs were once again filled with air, glorious air! His body was free from whatever restraints, and he was able to see again. Daniel screamed - his voice echoed in a room. It was large, but not dark. He looked around - he was on a table of sorts, surrounded by numerous wires and tubes stretching towards his body like a spider web. Nothing hurt. He looked down at himself - naked again, but unharmed. All of his body parts were intact, as far as he could tell.
"Please, don't move so suddenly, you may get dizzy. I will assist you. Don't be alarmed - we will explain everything." - he heard a familiar voice. He turned towards it and found Bekhet. He smiled.
"Where is she? Where am I? what the hell happened?!" - Daniel started to rip the thin, web-like tubes from his body. Strangely, it didn't hurt.
"Please, calm down. You are in no danger, and we will not harm you in any way. You deserve an explanation...especially considering how strange things gotten for you...and us..." - Bekhet smiled apologetically. - "Here, your clothes are right here. I'm sorry, but we had to remove them in order to do the sync. There is simply no other way."
Daniel grabbed his clothes from Bekhet and started to get dressed. His body was limber, so it didn't seem that he was on that table for long. Of course, at this point he was simply assuming. Once he was wearing his clothes, the doctor felt a little more assured.
"Could you please tell me what the hell is going on here."
"Of course. Please, come with me." - Bekhet led him out of the room. Daniel noted with astonishment, that the walls of the room were lit up like computer panels. A myriad of tiny lights twinkled all around him. This looked like an incredibly sophisticated laboratory, and nothing like what he would anticipate on this planet. This could not be possibly the same planet. The same culture. But then again things were rarely as they seemed - that much he learned in his time with SGC.
Daniel followed Bekhet to another room. It had a couple of simply-designed chairs and a small table. He looked around - the walls were smooth, metallic. No lavish decorations, carvings, cold statues or vases. In fact, it was spartan and tasteful and not the least bit Middle Eastern.
"First of all, I must apologize. Usually the procedure takes much less time, but for some reason we ran into a slight issue with the synch. A power storm overloaded some of the safety protocols, and we were unable to disengage you from the Revealer in time. This must be very confusing and perhaps even frightening."
"You can say that again. So far I understand precisely none of what you said. Lets start at the beginning. I am Daniel Jackson. I am from planet Earth, me and my team came through the Stargate (the round structure..)" - Daniel began, trying to regain composure.
"Yes, yes, We have been through all of that before." - Bekhet sighed. " I'm afraid you might have suffered some short-term memory loss."
"We have?"
"Yes. You came up to the temple, and I have greeted you. You told me about your team, and that you are explorers. You told me that your intentions were peaceful, and I asked if I could verify this through the Revealer. You agreed."
"Revealer?"
"Yes, a device that allows us to simply access the subconscious mind of others, to see if we can catch some glimpses of their true intentions. Oh, don't worry - it's absolutely safe. Your Major Carter (did I get her name right?) had undergone the same procedure right before you - no problems whatsoever. Unfortunately, a lightning storm began just as we started with you, and instead of a few minutes, you have spend almost three hours under the sync."
"What? Three hours?"
"Yes. I am very sorry. Your memory loss should be just a temporary side effect. I assure you, the procedure is quite safe."
"I was there for three days!"
"Ahh yes, the visualization. I must say, you are by far one of the most creative persons that I had ever a pleasure of syncing up with."
"Wait. I'm still confused. Please explain to me precisely what is a sync, what's a Revealer, where I was for the last three days, and where is the Princess."
"Ah. the Princess. Well.." - Bekhet looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry to say, there is no Princess. Oh I should say precisely - the Princess if the representation of something else. I suspect the Princess if the representation of the places that you visit. Or visited. Or something that you are looking for."
Daniel felt his mouth go dry.
"What do you mean, there is no Princess. I remember her. I spoke with her. I smelled her. For crying out loud, I had..."
"Yes, I know. I was there." - Bekhet lowered his head.
"WHAT?!"
"I had no choice! Once the sync is made, I cannot break it. I must review everything. Please. Don't be alarmed. I know it's embarrassing for you. It was for me as well."
"Wait. so I was never a tutor for a princess? In fact, there is no Princess?"
"I'm afraid there is no princess. Nor a king. Our nation is ruled by a council of elected officials, much like in your own nation. Major Carter was a bit more...constructive in a way of her own subconscious. We gained a lot of practical information about your people from her, but with you...we gained such amazing insights into the nature of your people."
"I don't even..."
Daniel lowered his face into his hands. He wasn't even sure how to feel at that point. Relieved? Angry? Sad? Can one be sad about losing someone that never existed?
"So, what, does this mean that I am free to go now? what was the point of all of this?"
"I'm afraid this is just for self-protection. We have had others come through the "stargate", as you call it, and claim to come in peace. We have suffered a few tragic consequences for our trust. That is why all visitors are to be evaluated in the Revealer, before they are allowed to travel in our land. "
"I still don't understand. So everything that I had seen, done, experienced - did you place it there?"
"No, everything that you have seen was created by your mind. Your subconscious. Please understand, that everything is, well, most everything, - is largely symbolic. Something that represents a part of you in a way that translates into understandable imagery. As I mentioned before, usually, the process is just a few minutes long. It's enough time for us to determine the nature of our visitors. But with you, I have taken the most unusual trip into another man's subconscious. I must say you are an intriguing person, Daniel Jackson."
"What about the song?"
"What song?"
"The song that the Princess...whatever, the song that she sang to me. What would that represent? I don't recall ever hearing it before, or anything like that. Not on Earth, not on any planet that I have visited. Did you.."give it" to me?"
"I don't recall hearing any songs. " - Bekhet looked at him. There seemed to be no sign of deception in his eyes. - "the last I remember was you seeing your team. they rescued you - that is when we were finally able to disconnect you from the Revealer. Your mind must have been interpreting the disengagement sequences in a way that your brain would understand.
"No, that's not when I woke up. There was more. Much more. Hours. I spoke with her, she sang me a song, a song in the tongue of the Gods."
Bekhet stared at him. Then furrowed his brow.
"That's impossible. You could not have maintained the sync without my presence there. I distinctly remember the point, when we disconnected you."
"And yet, there was a song. Arajael sang it to me. She said that music was given to us by the Gods, it's eternal like rivers, like the sands."
Bekhet stared at Daniel, looking visibly shaken.
"That's impossible. You couldn't have known. You are quoting a passage from our ancient scriptures: "Music of the Gods is the language of creation. It flows like the rivers, it shifts like sands. It is eternal, and requires no addition. It is complete. It is perfect."
"I really don't know what to tell you. All I know is I heard the most beautiful sound that I had ever heard. I heard the most amazing voice that I will probably hear in my whole life, and you are telling me that it was sung by a figment of my imagination?"
"I really don't know what to think. I have never heard or experienced this myself. Do you recall the words of the song?"
"I don't. They were not the language that I'm familiar with. Look, I appreciate your curiosity and all, but I really would like to see my team now. Let them know that I'm al right. Are we done here?" - Daniel got up to leave.
"Yes, of course. again. my deepest apologies. We will explain everything to your leader, of course."
"No!" - Daniel rushed to say. - "I will explain everything myself. No harm done, right? I'm sure you will agree, I would like to keep this little escapade to myself. At least a good portion of it."
"Of course. "
Epilogue:
Daniel walked towards his room, hoping to take the longest, hottest, most cleansing shower of his life. He had already submitted his report to Hammond, but avoided talking with the team about his experiences. Of course, for the first time in his report, Daniel left out the large portion of what happened to him in those three days. Or more exactly, those three hours that he was mentally tethered to a stranger, who was observing his most intimate fantasies. He left the sex completely out. In fact, he had to construct a rather boring version of being held at the "palace".
"Hey, Daniel, wait up!" - Sam called out, rushing to him. - "Are you OK? You've been very quiet since we came back."
"Yeah, I can't say that the experience was pleasant, but Dr. Frasier checked me over and said that she found nothing unusual."
"That's excellent. But how are you really doing? Did you see something that you didn't want to see?"
"Sam, I really don't want to talk about it."
"Of course. Not suggesting you do. I was not sure that I wanted to go under myself, luckily, I found myself wandering a garden for a few minutes. At some point I did find a gigantic talking worm, that was pretty weird."
"Was it smoking an opium pipe?" - Daniel chuckled.
"What? Oh, yes, right, Alice. No, actually, it was wearing a top hat. I'm still trying to figure out what it represents. You know Bekhet explained that any imagery that he sees - is the representation of our thoughts, or more like the representation of what our brain remembers about our experiences. Part of it also how the brain interprets our own bodies, including any ailments or deficiencies. It's amazing, really. I have requested Hammond to pursue studying the device. If the people of this land would agree, using this kind of technology on earth would make leaps in medical studies. Imagine the implications in psychiatric sciences alone!" - Sam sounded excited. Daniel smiled.
"Right, well, when it comes to testing this thing, please leave me out. I'd rather keep my subconscious mind to myself."
"Oh, don't get me wrong, me too, but still..The implications could be just amazing. Imagine, being able to decipher what young children are thinking, feeling, or unresponsive patients, autistic people...this could be groundbreaking."
"Of course. Listen, I really can use a rest, don't mean to cut you off. It's been a long...day?" - San nodded, patting the doctor on the shoulder. He could tell that in her mind, she was still devising a way that the Revealer can improve people's lives. Daniel locked the door to his room. He closed his eyes - how could the past three days be nothing but a creation of his subconscious mind? What if this is not real either? Will he go through his life, waiting for the curtain to fall, and someone to tell him that his whole existence was nothing but a few hours in an alien mind-probing device?
Daniel turned on the water in his shower. Be as it may, most of all it wasn't the fact that his reality, THE reality could be a facade, that bothered him. It was the loss of Arajael. And it was the inability to study the song, the language she spoke. Perhaps he will feel better after some rest. With that, he started to unbutton his shirt, watching the steam cling to his reflection in the mirror. It is eternal, it is perfect. It requires no additions. Beautiful, Daniel thought. Goodbye, Princess.
*Petit Fours - tiny, usually colorful mini-cakes.