Conversation was easy between them in the car on the way to the wedding, and Andy was glad that it wasn't awkward or silent. He tried to focus on the conversation instead of focusing on stealing glances at her. When she opened the door to her condo and he saw her in the dress that fit her like a glove, it nearly knocked him on his ass. When she walked ahead of him on the way to the elevator at the condo, he noticed her legs and how great her backside looked, and then he quickly shook his head. What in the hell was he doing? She was his boss, and he needed to get his thinking right. They were just friends. That's what he had been telling Provenza all along. That is what he and Sharon agreed on. Only friendly thoughts about Sharon Raydor from here on out, he decided.
He was failing miserably by peering at her legs again as she sat in the passenger seat of his car, looking out the window and chatting with him. She was a runner, that he knew, and her legs were sensational. While they were working, he often found himself checking out her legs as she addressed the squad in the Murder Room. He was a legs man, and always had been. He had often admired Chief Johnson's legs, as well, but the difference here was that he was fantasizing about Sharon's legs tangled and sweaty in his sheets, or wrapped around his waist…these were not thoughts he harbored about his former boss and her legs.
He also noticed the way the dress showed off her elegant, toned arms. His hand itched to know what it might feel like to run his fingers down her arm, and to intertwine the fingers of her hand with his. The dress also showed just enough of her cleavage to be a captivating tease to him without being deemed inappropriate by others.
While she was beautiful, it wasn't just her physical attributes that attracted Andy to her. He couldn't even stand her when she came to Major Crimes. She was part of the Rat Squad, and made her career out of busting fellow cops. How could he respect that? But then, when he slowly got past all of that, and her Captain's mask, he began to see the many dimensions of her. After time, he began to realize that he was attracted to her. He found his thoughts at night wandering to her, wondering what she was doing, and how she was spending her evening. He was happy to hear her heels clicking down the hallway in the mornings, announcing her impending arrival. He liked saying things to her that would get her to smile at him. He loved her smile, but at work, she didn't show it often enough. Sometimes he would text her about arbitrary work crap at night, just so he could exchange text conversations with her.
She was beautiful, and brilliant…and terribly taken.
She's married, he constantly reminded himself.
Over their friendly dinners, she talked a little about Jackson, and only briefly. He could tell that it was a painful subject for her, and he didn't want to pry. Andy did, however, understand the nature of addiction and shared brief details of his struggle with alcoholism. It was not to make excuses for Jackson, but Andy hope that somehow it would lessen the pain for her, if she realized that it wasn't her that was lacking something that made Jackson leave, or her that wasn't good enough. Old alcoholics like Jackson and Andy wouldn't have dreamed of putting anything above that next drink, that next shot of whiskey, or rum, or tequila…or whatever they could get their hands on to get lost in the blackout of drunkenness. Not even wives, or children, or jobs. Andy had lost his wife and children and nearly his job due to his drinking. He had to hit rock bottom before he sought help for his addiction.
Unfortunately for Jackson, that rock bottom had never come. Or maybe it had, and he was just too far gone. He was still drinking, but Sharon was long past hurting for Jackson Raydor. He was almost foreign to her, breezing in and out of her life only when he needed something. She would never admit it, however, that she did hurt for her children and the fact that their father was absent from their lives. Andy was slowly building a relationship with his daughter, but it was fragile and she still doubted whether it was okay to trust her father. Andy deserved that. He was a piece of shit when she was a kid who spent his time drinking when he wasn't working. He was never around to see her graduate kindergarten, or score her first goal on the middle school soccer team. He was pulled over for a DUI the night of the Prom, when he was supposed to be at the house getting pictures with her. He would never be able to tell her how sorry he was, and how bad he had messed up. But with Sharon's gentle encouragement, he was trying. He suspected it was due in part because Sharon had wanted for his daughter what her children would never have – a relationship with their dad. He wanted to be better for his daughter, but he wanted to be better for Sharon, too.
His attraction to her grew stronger when Rusty came into the picture. Everyone else saw a smart assed punk, and Sharon saw a kid in need who had been hurt, betrayed and abandoned. It was hard, and Rusty tried his hardest to push her away, but Andy had marveled at her patience. It was the patience that only a mother could have, and seeing that part of her made her incredibly alluring to Andy. He also started to notice other things about her, like the soft lilt of her voice when she spoke, or the low, throaty hum of her laugh when she found something genuinely funny.
"You know what I mean?" She looked at him from the passenger seat. He hadn't been paying attention. He nodded his head and acted like he knew what she was talking about. Friendly thoughts, he reminded himself.