The Lone Muse: Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Love Live!

Tsubasa and I stopped in a fast-food restaurant after a while, because both of our stomachs started to growl. We ordered our food and sat down, talking about idol things, like costume designs or training regimens. We sat and talked peacefully, until Tsubasa asked me a question that completely stunned me.

"Honoka, can…can I ask you something?" She asked, avoiding eye contact.

We had gotten along great so far, so I wasn't worried at all about what she would ask me. "Sure, no problem." I said, smiling.

She looked at me, and took a deep breath. "Honoka…I was walking by the shrine last week…"

My smile froze. Oh no. Did she see…?

"…and I saw you…and everybody else in Muse. It looked like…you were crying. And I was just wondering…what happened?" She looked away again. "If you don't mind me asking…of course."

I just sat there, shocked. It took me a second before I was able to speak. "No, no…I don't mind." I said slowly, trying to formulate how to say what I wanted to say in my head. "…well…" I waited for her to look at me again. "Over the past month or two, I've been helping everyone come to terms with their feelings for each other…playing the matchmaker, you know? And on Valentine's Day, I realized…that I was all alone. Everybody in Muse had someone else, and then there was me. And…I realized that…and I…I…couldn't handle it…" I paused, trying to fight off the feelings that were attempting desperately to return.

"Honoka? Are…you okay?" Tsubasa asked, her eyes full of worry.

"Y-Yeah. Anyways…I ran away from everybody. I…didn't want to…ruin their day for them. They noticed, and tried to catch me. Eventually…I found myself at the shrine. They caught up with me, so I tried to keep running, but…I collapsed…and they caught up to me. I tried to apologize…but they wouldn't hear it. They said that I made it all possible…and they made me realize something. That…I wasn't alone. I might not have someone…in a dating sense…but I was surrounded by friends who love me and care about me…and now…here I am." I smiled sadly.

I noticed that Tsubasa had tears in her eyes. "Tsubasa?"

"…I'm sorry, Honoka…" She said, as she stood up and ran out the door.

I stood up to follow her, but when I got outside, she was nowhere to be seen. I frowned. Why did she react like that? Unless…no…is she…going through the same thing? I knew now that in a time like this, the best thing to have is support from someone who cares about you. With that in mind, I started to look for her.

After about an hour, I was looking around in the park, ready to call off the search, figuring that Tsubasa had gone home. I searched for a bench, so I could sit down and rest…and found Tsubasa sitting, watching the lake.

"Tsubasa?"

She jumped. She looked over at me, and I saw that her eyes were red and puffy. "Honoka…"

I didn't know what to say, so I sat down next to her quietly. I glanced at her, and noticed she was still sniffling. Wordlessly, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, squeezing lightly. She buried her face in my shoulder, and I could feel fresh tears soaking through my shirt.

"I…I don't know how you do it, Honoka. I…try to put on a brave face...but hearing what you went through…I wish I could deal with it as well as you…"

Deal with it as well as me? What happened to her? "Tsubasa…what happened?" I asked gently.

"Erena…and Anju…have always been close. Each of them have admitted individually…to me…that she likes the other. So…I decided to help them, like you helped Muse. It took a while…but I managed to get those two together. At the time I thought 'It'll be nice to see those two together…it doesn't bother me,' but then I realized…that it did bother me. They were happy to be together, and I know they didn't do it on purpose, but when they acted like a couple in front of me…it really hurt…"

She trailed off into silence, having stopped crying for the moment. I realized my arm was still wrapped around her, so I quickly retracted it. Tsubasa shivered a little bit in the absence of the warmth of my arm, something I failed to notice.

"I know what you mean, Tsubasa. Like I said…that same situation happened to me. You think you'll be happy because your friends are happy…but it just doesn't work out that way. You end up feeling lonely and unhappy…and it's really hard to cope with those feelings. Somehow I managed to get over them…for the most part at least…and I feel much better now. It'll be okay."

She sniffled. "Okay." She was quiet for a second, before she spoke up again. "Hey…Honoka?"

I turned towards her, only to see her arms spread open. She was blushing furiously. I could feel my face start to burn too. Hesitantly, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her. She was still sniffling, so I rubbed her back lightly.

"It'll be okay, Tsubasa." I whispered.

We sat there until Tsubasa had calmed down. When we finally released each other, Tsubasa smiled at me sheepishly, a smile I returned. We turned to watch the water, a content silence between us.

"Thanks, Honoka. I…feel a lot better." Tsubasa said, looking at me.

I smiled. "No problem."

Suddenly, Tsubasa grasped my hand. Shocked, I looked at her. She met my eyes and held her gaze. "Honoka, it was nice. Spending time with you today. I'm sorry that it ended like this. Maybe we could meet up later, and have a do-over?" She squeezed my hand.

My heart started to beat faster. I could feel it pounding in my chest. Stunned, I gave her the only response I could. "O-okay. S-sounds like fun."

She smiled and released my hand. "Phew…I'm glad you said yes."

"Well, when you ask me like that, how could I refuse?" I said, looking at her hand and giggling.

Her cheeks turned pink as she searched for an answer. Unable to find one, she just shrugged. She took out her cellphone and held it up to me. I knew what she wanted, so I pulled out my own phone so we could trade numbers. When she got my number, she stood up to leave. "Okay, well…see you later. I'll call you."

"Okay, Tsubasa. See you later."

She nodded and walked off. After she left, I continued to sit there, lost in my thoughts.

Did she just…ask me on a…date? I mean…she held my hand…so…does that make it a date? I buried my face in my hands. I don't know! What should I do?! Do I treat it like a date? But if it's not a date…that could be super awkward. But if it is…

I knew I would just keep going in circles if I sat there any longer, so I stood up and started to head home.

I think…I would like…it to be a date…

I smiled to myself and kept walking.