"Welcome back! Did you miss me? I did (I can't get enough of me)! Anyway, enough of my glorification that's your job (Cough cough hint hint)! Honestly, now I'm just being annoying! I'm gonna stop now. Ladies and gentlemen pt. 2!
"Phaecifer stared at the figure in awe and only managed to whisper a name "Culebra?"
Culebra chuckled "Well if it isn't li'l old Phaecifer! Good to see you amigo!"Culebra strode past Phaecifer with great pride in every step. Phaecifer just stood with his mouth open, looking quite like a baboon. Chris saw this interaction and quickly lit up. Jumping up and down like a tyke on Christmas day! "Yes! Drama! I love it! I love it all! Every last drop! I love-"
"Really? I had no idea you loved drama! I mean it's not like your audience has been here for five painful seasons watching you light up every time drama occurred! Even in the slightest you light up… actually it is pretty funny!"
Chris' smile soon faded and morphed into a scowl. He turned to the voice and in a very brusque manner responded "Dammit Noah! What the Hell do you want?"
"The aforementioned bookworm held up a stack of papers and replied "Your contract Chris, it's all wrong! Or at least, you haven't been sticking to it!"Chris paled and stuttered out "W-well I uh… What the Hell do you mean? Let me see that!"
Chris snagged the papers and read through them carefully while Noah kept his smirk on his face and crossed his arms responding "It specifically says that we the original cast are entitled to certain privileges if we do not show up in a certain amount of episodes!"
Chris applied a smirk similar to Noah's and replied "Yeah! 20 episodes is the minimum, you were in 26!"
Noah's smirk grew to a wide grin "Actually, the minimum is 30 and aftermaths don't count so that's 20! I'm short 10 and I'm here to receive them!"Chris looked shocked and began to stutter "Wha? Thi-thi-this is… What!?"Noah handed him the papers as Chris grabbed them forcefully and read over them while Noah turned around and started to introduce the next contestant.
"Our next 'guest' seems to be a tall blonde with a dirty jersey and rips all over it. He smells like my dog's piss mixed with Trent's cheap cologne and it seems as though he just quickly ran through the showers to make it look like he's sweating! Ladies and gentlemen give it up for this guy!"
Johnny did not like the way Noah had introduced him but hated the fact that half of the current cast was actually clapping! The blonde ran up to Noah, picked him up by the collar and yelled in his face "My father will sue! Don't think he won't!""Noah merely chuckled and retorted to the camera "And his breath smells like my dog's feces!"
As the camera panned to the newcomer we see a certain bookworm zoom by from one end to the other as the next camper boarded the was a tall dirty blonde, about 5'7", with long legs (Duh, she's tall). Her skin was a perfect golden tan and a beauty mark dotted near her lush lips. Her deep olive eyes complimented her soft skin. Her hair flowed out of her head like an endless golden river. She was flawless to the core. Like a beautiful orchid in the midst of a dead winter, she stood out from the crowd.
She walked confidently down the dock, catching the eye of every (sane) male. As she strode passed Noah and Johnny, they froze and became at a loss of words (making the bookworm feel quite stupid). As she slid by Culebra and Phaecifer their bickering soon ceased to exist, both were mesmerized by her Chris couldn't figure out anything to say. He merely stuttered as she walked by him and towards Liam, Minx and Dusk.
Her attire of course did little to help the poor love-sick males to start up again. Her tight cargo pants boldly showed of her luscious legs. She grabbed Dj's already gained attention even more with her Ontario Stars T-shirt. Her beautiful snow white shawl drifted over her curvaceous body, leaving a trail of complete perfection.
It was Noah, the smartest of the lot the one who always knew what to say in situations like these, who spoke first "Damn."
Damn indeed Noah! Damn indeed!
When the girl noticed that nobody else was going to say or do anything as intelligent as Noah, she sighed and in an angelic voice announced "Hi my name is Kansas. It's a pleasure to meet you all and whatnot."
Nobody answered, not a single one. Absolutely- "Um, hello? Are you there? I'd like it if you don't forget to mention the fact that there are girls on this island as well!"
Gosh darn it, Sophia! I'm trying to narrate here!
"Well narrate faster!"
The camera zoomed to the next three campers, who I've somehow dragged off their escort boats in record time, all of them were males except for the three females. The first was a mocha skinned, 5' 5", long dark-browned hair, green basketball shorts with a grey hoodie and purple converse wearing girl. The second was approximately 5ft tall with dirty blonde hair, light freckled skin and a pink top and matching tutu with matching stockings and black ballet shoes. The last one was small and of Asian ethnicity. With black hair she stood at a little less than 5ft. She wore a red school uniform that has lots of detail that I won't get into for fear of upsetting Sophia. Speaking of which, how's that?
"Not what I meant!" she replied with great "Don't you dare finish that sentence with anger!" wrath! She slapped her forehead "Why do I even bother?"
Chris walked back to the dock and introduced the new contestants "Since we had so much fun with the Australian last season we decided to bring in another one! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Danika!" he pointed to the first girl "This one over here is Anna!" pointing to number dos "And this one is Grace!" he said pointing to number trios.
Grace waved shyly at her fellow campers, Anna merely grand jeteied, or however you spell it, to the other campers and Danika smiled sweetly.
Chris than approached Noah, with a grin so large only Chris could make it, and said "So you want more screen time, eh? Well I guess that seems fair! I mean I have been biased, haven't I? I showed next to no kindness to contestants like Beardo, Ezekiel, The wonder twins and, not to mention, you! Seeing you are the only one to bring it up, I'm going to reward you!"
Noah smiled "Now we're talking! So which camper am I filling in for?"
Chris chuckled "I never said you would be competing, did I? I said you could come back for more screen time and you will receive more screen time… as an intern!"
Noah was taken aback as Chris snapped his fingers and beckoned Chef to pick up the lazy bookworm just as the next boat approached the dock. Exiting the boat was a dirty blonde tough looking man-boy. His size was tall enough to rival that of Jasmine's from Pakhitew; perhaps she was an inch or two taller. He wore a standard grey t-shirt and blue jeans with a cowboy hat that appeared to be recently washed. He smelled of rose petals and honey but looked as though he could kill any and all of them with one blow.
"Howdy, ladies? Gents? Chris?" he announced while high fiving the aforementioned Host with the most. "Thomas! Our first American participant! Good to have you here man! We need someone with a good attitude to cheer up this dump!" He replied while pointing to the others.
Liam had lost interest in his prey and had bounded off to who knows where, Minx was looking cautiously over her shoulder in case he came back. Dusk was watching as Johnny beat D.J after he had agreed to an insult Noah gave him earlier. Brett was flirting with Danika and Kansas, Scarlett hid, from a weirdly smiling Kitten, behind Phacifer who was bickering with Culebra about the best place in the sewers to hide from cops. Micah was lying under a tree attempting to tell his boss what had happened but failing miserably, and Grace had become Anna's landing mat as she performed various leaps and twirls.
"Thomas's cocky smile turned to a disappointed frown as Chris shoved him towards the others to make room for the next contestant.
His brown medium cut hair extended to his ears in the form of sideburns. Flapping in the wind, his open denim jacket gave away to a blank white t-shirt. His pale skin glimmered in the harsh sunlight, revealing a load of cat scratches. His physique was that of a panda bear, though he wasn't fat. He was fluffy! But not by much. He held a Nintendo DS in front of his face and mumbled something on the line of "Curse you Pikachu! Now I'm gonna lose!"
The boat stopped and the Gamer jumped off, his face still in the screen. Chris sighed and asked with great annoyance "Am I gonna have to confiscate that Sean? I've dealt with your kind once and I can do it again!"
Sean closed his DS and slid it into his pocket, giving Chris a reassuring smile. Chris returned it and shoved him off to the others.
Next to step off was a quivering spiky brown haired boy. He had almond colored eyes and lightly toned skin. His bangs drooped into his eyes no matter however many times he blew them out, they always returned. His red vest covered a long sleeved white shirt. His black jeans and brown shoes made him look like a quivering Noah clone.
"Everyone this is Erik! Erik, this is everyone!"
Erik looked nervously at the lot and bit his quivering lip to say something, but no words came out. Phaecifer and Culebra looked at him and then at each other, then for the first time on that island they shared a laugh. They grabbed each other to stop their laughing from toppling them but it was useless. They began to howl so hard Culebra attempted to slap Phaecifer's back, but hit Scarlett instead. She began to cry from the sting causing Phaecifer to pummel her attacker.
Johnny approached Chris with a cocky smile and chortled "What's with the weaklings here Chris? You might wanna just hand me the money now! Isn't that right, twerp?"
Johnny placed his hand on Erik's shoulder ready to punch him to the ground. Instead he was flipped into the air and fell flat on his face.
"What the Hell is wrong with you, nerd? You busted my chin!"
Erik quivered "S-sorry! It wa-as an accident! I took Martial Arts for so long my body acts without my brain's approval!"
They were soon pushed from in front of the camera by an angry Chris. "Move it losers! I've got this show called Total Drama, not Erik and Johnny! Now get!"
The next contestant stepped off of his boat. He had a black Mohawk and a black (God I feel stupid narrating this) onesie with a dark blue hoodie. From his tan ears sprouted white ear buds that trailed off behind him. He was well built in body and shape and gave off an ominous feeling to the rest of the contestants (save for Phaecifer and Culebra).
"Marvin! Welcome dude! Now we can finally start!" Chris said as Marvin went to stand next to Kansas. Sophia looked puzzled and raised her hand. Chris pointed to her.
"Um Chris, didn't you say that there would be 22 contestants on the signup sheet?"
"Yes."
"Well, there are only 20 of us here, well there are 19 I don't know where Liam is but, we shouldn't start on till the others get here!"
Chris looked at her with a smile and replied "Oh yeah about that, I lied! Something I like doing, a lot! Anyway, follow me campers!"
The Campfire pit
"This is the campfire pit! Here, assuming that your team loses, is where the elimination ceremony will take place! Here you will vote off the person of your choosing. Whoever receives the most votes will be sent off the island via our new mode of transportation, the plunger! We will have an intern from Playa Des Losers shoot a toilet plunger from there to here and drag you back to the Playa! Isn't that fun?"
The campers didn't look too thrilled but Chris proceeded with his speaking "Any who, let's get to the good stuff! When I call your name please stand up; Liam, Minx, Dusk, Anna, Johnny, Micah, Sean, Scarlett, Erik and Kansas! Please go stand to the right. You shall now and henceforth be known as The Rowdy Romans!" He threw them a blood red flag which Johnny caught and unrolled it revealing a Roman gladiator's helmet.
Liam looked at the flag and cheered "Awesome, that color looks like my blood!" Minx rolled her eyes and replied "That's because it's blood red, idiot!"
Chris ignored the chaos that ensued from the Romans side and turned back to the others "This means that Phaecifer, Culebra, D.J, Brett, Sophia, Kitten, Thomas, Grace, Danika and Marvin are on the other team, The Nimble Niakians!"
"He threw a yellow flag to a confused Sophia who unrolled it revealing a scroll crossing with a sword forming an X. Sophia looked at it and piped up "Um Chris, there is no such thing as Niak. I'm pretty sure that there no such place exists."
"Chris opened his mouth but was interrupted by a raspy voice "Actually it does exist, it is the main character's homeland in the game Rise and Fall of the Great Empires II! Of course it was-" "Shut up Harold." "But I came for-" "I know why you're here, Chef!" Chef grabbed Harold and dragged him off to where he had taken Noah.
Chris turned to Sophia "See, it is real! Now on with our tour!"
Confessionals
Chris: This is the good old confessional booth, where the campers shall vent out anything that is on their minds, but you already knew that!
"Phaecifer: Same team as Culebra?! Grrrrrr! Curse my rotten luck, I cannot put up with that pathetic excuse of a human! This time, I will beat him!
Liam: Hehehe! Soon I will dominate these worthless baboons! Nah, just kidding!
D.J: Alright! I got this in the bag! Score a few points with uh Sophia, (he puts on a coy smile and crosses his arms in a way to make him look cool) and win the million! Easy peesy!
Kitten: I didn't quite catch what it was that Culebra and Phaecifer were arguing about, but I can guess that answer immediately! Me!
Brett: My mother always said I was a charmer! As long as I don't go too far I'll make a ton of friends and win the million! As long as they don't fall in love with me… that would be a problem.
Sophia: Well, I came here for a taste of love and I'm not leaving till I get some! I just hope I don't mess things up like always (laughs nervously and then sighs sadly) who am I kidding? I'm nothing like those girls in the books and the T.V shows and the movies and the-
Culebra: Me and Phaecifer in the same competition is unbelievable emsuerte/em, but him and me on the same team? Man, this must be a really good dream!
Minx: I'm okay with Dusk, Sean, Erik and Kansas being on my team, Johnny and Micah seem like perfect jerks; Scarlett and Anna appear to be minor hindrances but the real problem? I'm stuck on the same team as Nutty the fifth!
Dusk: There aren't as many girls on the island as I'd hoped but nevertheless those who are here are very pretty… I'm just not sure if they'd swing my way.
Johnny: I don't really need the money you know my family is rich beyond your wildest dreams! … Okay fine you cracked me! My dad told me it was about time I got off of my laurels and earned my own money so he cut me off! That's why I'm here! I'm on the same ground as all these poor people!
Kansas: I expect to make it through this season much like Justin! Silent but deadly! It didn't work for him because girls are smarter than guys, which makes it easier for me!
Scarlett: (opens her mouth to say something but quickly covers her mouth and runs out)
Thomas: Back down in the south I'm used to being a role model! But here in Canada, my tough nature might not work nearly as well. Canadians are too thick to see past their own noses! America is the best!
Danika: Having a guy from the U.S compete on a Canadian T.V show might just awaken the citizens of the U.S to all their many faults, and for once the U.S will become the butt of all the jokes! Canada is so much better than the U.S but Australia rules!
Micah: (taking on the phone) Uh-huh, okay. That sounds good, thanks boss! Okay, bye! (Hangs up and puts his head in his hands) I am doomed!
Anna: I've worked hard for this and I'm finally here! I just hope Chris is in the 'let's give the contestants a bunch of dance challenges for the entire season' kind of mood or else, I'm screwed!
Erik: So I may be a little terrified of Johnny, perhaps just a smidgen… oh who am I kidding? I'm doomed!
Grace: My game plan? Play with the niceties for a while, gain allies and then crush everyone! It's time to show the world just how evil nice can be!
Marvin: If anyone thinks they can beat me, they have another think coming! No more Mr. nice guy! I will dominate, not be dominated!
Sean: (He is playing on his D.S not paying attention to where he is) Come on Mario make the freaking jump!
End confessionals
Open clearing
Chris led the two teams to an open clearing and announced "This is the cabin grounds! Unfortunately they were washed away in the flood so we're kind of lacking! So I guess that will be your first challenge, build your own shelter! Whoa, I'm having déjà vu! Don't know why, this is the first time I assigned this challenge." He mumbled the last part. "You are allowed to use anything you find! Just don't get lazy and pick out a cave, Micah!"Micah, who had tried sneaking off to a cave nearby, smiled weakly and returned to his team. "All right campers you have one hour, aaaaaaaaaand go!"
Cliffhanger! This is where the chapter ends but now that I'm done with the intros the next few chapters will come out quicker! The next one might come out sometime this week so please don't fret! Remember to leave a review be it good or bad down in the reviews bellow! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I will be back soon!
-That1guyeveryonehates