Thank you so much for the feedback, The first couple of chapters are on Cristina's POV, but it will go to third person so I can articulate what everyone is thinking and feeling, also there will be days numbered from 1 to 365 which shows how she finds herself and realizes that people actually do matter and shouldn't take a backseat to accolades and achievements. Please review and add ur two cents, its appreciated and helps me carve out the story.

Day 1

It was the most painful moment in my life, I had to say goodbye, but he was reluctant to let me go. He had been strong for months, acting like we never were, like I never existed in his heart, like we were never two halves of a whole. He had done well, he had me fooled, his eyes used to give him away but I lost the power to read them, that, or he took that power away from me. The whole situation was unfair and cruel, he managed to erase my presence in his life so quickly that I didn't have time to react or adjust, It just happened and it was over. I was not even important enough to mention to his new girlfriend, he wanted to erase me from his past so he didn't have to deal with my ghost in his future. He told her that I was complicated, that our whole relationship was toxic, that it hurt to love me. He was so happy when he found someone who could provide simplicity, someone who was easy to love and wasn't like the challenging person I was. God, he seemed so happy, so unaffected by our breakup, so content in my decision to let go. He wanted simple, no he needed simple. He was no longer the broken soldier living in the after, he was back to the Owen who lived in the before, and I guess this Owen, didn't want a woman like me, he needed someone like Beth, and she was it.

Even though I made the decision to end the relationship, it was not easy for me, it was the hardest I've ever had to do, but I loved him enough to let him go. I could never be what he wanted, or give him what he needed. Or thats the conclusion we both came too, sometimes I wish he would of ran after me, told me that I was enough, I wish he had faith in our love, I wish he never would of given up hope. I knew that I would never just wake up one day and want the family he wanted, but maybe if he would of stood by my side, time and experience would have changed my mind. It took many years and many struggles and accomplishments, but somewhere between day 1 and day 365, I found that life consists of the people who make us happy, who make us better, and bring reason to our being, sure, surgery was my calling, my passion, and at one time it was my everything, but it would only serve as those things for such a short amount of time before I was forced to let go of the scalpel. I might of loved it forever, but it would only love me back for as long as I could operate, when that realization hit, I was forced to re-evaluate my priorities.

The Day Before

'Owen?,- I mean, Chief Hunt, do you have a minute?" I asked as my palms started to sweat, making my way into his office.

He looked up from his desk clearly irritated from all the paperwork piled in front of him. He seemed to get even more fidgety when I asked for a moment of his time. How funny, I thought, there was once a time when he would drop everything at the drop of a dime for me.

"Ugh- yeah, can you make it quick?, I have all this paperwork to finish up and dinner reservations that I don't want to miss." He said without looking up again and fighting between paying attention to his task at hand and my presence in his office. I didn't miss the twinkle in his eye, he was looking forward to dinner with the woman who took my place in his heart.

I had a whole speech made up in my head, I had practiced it for days, trying to memorize every word, trying to let him know that I was happy for him and that it was time for me to move onto better and bigger things and away from him, to enable him to be happy, though he seemed to be doing all of that without a problem even though I was still there, working with him, day in and day out. It was just too hard for me, Meredith and him had become different people, and there was no place for me in their new lives. His cold demeanor and the way he was trying to brush me off sent me over the edge, even in my attempt at a last good-bye, he was still adamant about letting me know he had plans, plans that didn't involve me,

"Don't worry, I won't be long, actually..- I was gonna give you a two week notice but since you want me to make it quick so you don't miss your reservations, then I will make it quick." His attention was fully on me now, his face showed confusion and worry, ironic since the best I could get from him these days was polite and professional.

"Harper Avery offered me the head of cardio position at Massachusetts General…. and I'm taking it." I said trying to control my anger at my irrelevance in his life, I made sure my tone was even and icy, trying to convey that he couldn't break me. "I decided that I'm gonna leave tonight so enjoy your dinner, Dr. Hunt." I finished and without giving him time to react, I quickly turned around and left, hoping to never look back.

I wanted to say goodbye to Meredith, I really did, I was hoping that me leaving would rekindle the bond we shared, but when I finally mustered the courage, I realized that my leaving wouldn't matter to her anymore. We had become strangers, and the absence of me from her life would go unaffected and unnoticed. So when I saw her leaving the hospital side by side with Derek, and their two kids engulfed in their embrace, I made the decision to leave without a goodbye. There was no closure between her and I, or me and Owen, it was for the best this way. I wouldn't be missed, so there was no reason for an uncomfortable salute.

I still have the voicemail she left me, I didn't think she would be the one to try and reach out to me but as I was boarding the plane, my phone wouldn't stop ringing, between her and Owen and the rest of my friends and co-workers at the hospital, I had 67 missed calls and 30 voicemails.

"Cristina Yang, you do not get to do this!" Her voice was cracking and hoarse, I could tell immediately that she had been crying.

"Do you hear me? you cannot do this Cristina!, I won't let you just walk away, you cannot just walk away, Owen needs you…., I need you, WE need you, What am I gonna do without you?" her sobs resonated even loader on the phone as she paused for a long moment and let herself cry on the other line.

"ten years, ten years we were joined at the hip, you saved my life, you saved my husbands life, you are my children's Godmother, we have been through a shooting, a miscarriage, an abortion and a plane crash together, ….I deserve more then this, I deserve a goodbye Cristina." the pain resonating from her voice echoed from the phone and made my ears want to bleed. The whole ride from Seattle to Massachusetts, I mirrored those sobs and let the pain and anguish take over my body just as it had hers.

"Cristina, please, please don't leave…. I'am begging you, don't leave me, I can't survive without you, I won't survive without you, …..I can't live without you….I will die without you." He sounded so defeated, so lost, so broken that I couldn't even recognize his voice. His breathing was so rigid and his sobs were so unapologetic. He didn't care about his pride or his ego, he was in fight or flight mode and he wanted to fight but I wasn't ready to fight yet so instead I chose flight.