Day 31

"26 year-old female, was complaining of chest pains, nausea and vomiting, I miss-diagnosed her, I thought she had a peptic ulcer, but she was OD-ing, crack cocaine."

"OK but why did I get paged, this isn't a cardio patient."

"Yes, she is, she has idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy." Cristina sighed, great, a heart condition mixed with the use of illegal and lethal drugs, this person must want to die.

"Oh, and by the looks of it she is a working girl."

"you mean,…hooker?, what makes you think that? she asked, "Girls these days all dress up in these slutty outfits."

"Well, she told me her name was Cinnamon, and offered to blow me if I signed her release form."

Day 65

"VIP Patient, incoming, you will be the lead in the case, we need to make sure we take good care of him, his whole career will be resting in your hands."

"Chief Avery, I do not distinguish between my patients, I give each and every one the same amount of courtesy."

"Well, for this particular case you must form a distinction, give all your pre-ops and post-ops to your surgical fellow and residents, I need your undivided attention."

"Well who the hell is this guy? Bono?"

"No, not Bono, he's the new third baseman for the Boston Red Sox, he won the Triple Crown last season and MVP. "

Day 71

"What's your real name?"

"Leah, but nobody has called me that since I was a little girl."

"Well, I'm gonna call you leah because I refuse to use an ingredient as a name to refer to you as."

"Your kinda stuck up, I bet you look at me with disgust, I mean, I've been in this hospital three times in the last few months, you'd think I would learn my lesson but the drugs help me forget, they offer an escape, they make it easier for me not to jump into incoming traffic or kill one of my johns when they get out of hand."

"I don't look at you with disgust, maybe pity but not disgust, you know that if you keep overdosing, with your heart condition, you will die?"

"That's what I'm hoping for."

Day 98

"Well, everything looks wonderful, all your tests came back, you passed with flying colors."

"It's all thanks to you Dr. Yang, I feel amazing."

"I'm glad to hear that, are you back to hitting touchdowns?"

"haha, I think your getting your sports mixed up, I hit home runs.'

"Oh, right, sorry, I don't know much about sports."

"Well if you'd like, I can get you tickets to some of my game's, maybe you'll take a liking to baseball."

"I'd like that."

Day 120

"Leah, you coded, twice, do you know what that means?, I mean for God's sake, you need to get help, you can't keep repeating this cycle over and over again."

"Well, lets hope that next time I actually die. I'm a prostitute, it comes with the territory Dr. Yang, I know that you have no idea what its like to be in my shoes or live the life I endure every single day, so you don't get to judge me.'

"No, I guess I don't, but if I were you, I'd try and get help, I would try and get off the streets, get an education, get a real job."

"And how would you do that? I have no family, no money, no home,I dropped out of school in the 8th grade, my father molested me until he died of a massive heart attack, my mother was a heroin

addict and left when I was three and now I rent a bed at my great aunts house, who knows I sell my body for a living and still insists I pay rent."

"Wow, some people don't deserve to have kids."

"Do you have any kids?"

"No, never had the want to, always wanted to be a surgeon, thats my baby, besides, I'd be a horrible mother."

"Yeah right, your educated, smart, beautiful, and your a heart surgeon, but you decide you don't want kids, instead the drug addicted whore who lives in filth and spends more time on her knees and her back gets to get pregnant and have a baby."

"I'm sorry for what happened to you as a child, my father died in a car accident when I was nine, I was with him and I saw him take his last breath, I actually felt his heart stop beating with my bare hands against his chest, trying to prevent him from bleeding out, I was never the same after that.

"Was he a good dad?"

"He was the best dad, when he died, he took a part of me that was never returned, thats when I decided that I wanted to be a surgeon, thats when I made the decision to make surgery my number one priority."

"Is that when you decided that you didn't want kids?"

"I don't know, maybe, I do know that that was the day when I lost faith in a lot of things though."

"I found out too late, and now I can't do anything about it, I can't break my addiction, its too late to abort it, I don't want it, and its gonna be addicted to cocaine too isn't it?."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm pregnant."

Day 180

"Did you guys see this?" Alex made his way into the attendings lounge and dropped the magazine on the table that occupied most of the hospitals intermediate staff.

"Is that Cristina Yang?" Callie asked as she reached for the glossy cover in surprise and read the title, "Who puts you back together? top 40 under 40"

"Let me see that" Meredith interjected as she took the magazine out of her hand. April and Jackson huddled around her as they all examined the cover.

"Wow, she's number one on the list,…how come none of us made this list?" April pouted

"Because none of us performed a modified Bentall procedure on a Boston's Red Sox player who happened to have Marfan Syndrome." Jackson interjected, "thats all my grandfather talked about during Christmas dinner, Dr. Yang this, and Dr. Yang that" He mocked in his grandfathers overzealous voice. "He's so infatuated with her, did you guys hear that she a contender for the Harper Avery Award this year?" He asked as Owen entered the room.

"Have any of you seen Shepherd?, I need a consult" he asked as he made his way into the room. "And whose up for a Harper Avery Award?" he added

"What are you all huddled over looking at?" he asked confused as to why everyone was so mesmerized with whatever Meredith held in her hand.

"Nothing, its nothing." Callie answered quickly and grabbed the magazine back from Meredith and hurriedly took it into one of the folders that laid in front of her.

Did she just try and hide whatever they were looking at in one of her patients files? Owen asked himself as he became more anxious to know what had grabbed everyones attention and if that had anything to do with who was nominated for one of the most prestigious awards in the medical field. He made his way over to Callie and abruptly slid the folder right underneath her arms which were desperately trying with all their strength to keep the mystery file from budging out of her grasp.

"Owen, stop it, its nothing, just a patients blood tests" she hissed as she put forth her whole upper body onto the table for added support. "Yeah, Chief Hunt, its so not anything important" April chimed swiped the folder and magazine inside of it in one fluid motion and before anyone had the opportunity to warn him, he was faced with the sight of Cristina Yang on the cover, dressed in dark blue scrubs and a lab coat. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders in an artistic form and both her hands were crossed around her waist, she carried herself with grace and elegance and gave the hint of a small smirk forming from her full lips, the picture vaguely reminded him of the Mona Lisa.

Owen let out a long breath that he hadn't realized he was holding, his pulse quickened at the mere ability to see an image of her again that wasn't derived from memory or fantasy, and didn't occupy a dream or nightmare. It conjured up the same feelings that had been on the surface for the last six months. They say that time heals all wounds, so why am I unable to accept the fact that she's gone, he thought. He looked around the room and noticed everyone wincing at the pain he was sure was written all over his face.

"Wow, this is amazing, good for her." he started trying to sound indifferent and unfazed.

"Did anyone read the article? is there a section about her, how is she doing?" he asked nonchalantly

"She's probably basking in the glow of all her achievements and successes, hot shot doctor that doesn't have the will or want to pick up a phone call and make time for anything that doesn't involve surgery or her career" The resentment and hatefulness in Meredith's voice filled the room as she pretended to read the book she had in front of her. Those words were so true and raw that Owen couldn't help but flinch himself, he felt pain for himself but he also held the pain that Meredith carried and passed by as hate towards her best friend. After weeks of mourning the loss of Cristina, Meredith lost the will to miss and try to reengage their friendship, instead she opted to dismiss the relevance Cristina had in her life and began to see her more as a monster then the person who she once deemed her soulmate.

"I read the article, and actually, it was interesting, she was interviewed by the editor and she has changed drastically, you cannot continue to hold grudges, you both basically blacklisted her from your lives, she had no choice but to leave, what did you guys expect? for her to stick around while you both ignored her and treated her like she meant nothing to you two?" Alex asked with a disgusted look on his face. "Izzie left me high and dry, without so much of a goodbye, so you can't tell me I don't know how you feel, cos I do, but I tried my best to make her happy, to make her feel loved and wanted, but she still left me, even though I fought tooth and nail for her, but the both of you, you two just gave up on her, without a fight" He got up from the sofa he had been occupying and took the magazine out of Owens hand. "I would of left too" He added as he flipped through the magazine looking for the exact page that had her featured interview. When he found the page, he set the article down on the table for everyone to be able to see, while he instructed everyone to read the interview questions and her answers to them.