"Hello, we are looking for a faction willing to take in two complete noobs with no PvP experience and zero supplies. Anyone willing?" Red was asking around, advertising on billboards and stuff. Nobody needed a noob to mess up for them, let alone a pair of them! "Green, I don't know what you were thinking when you said we could join one. You're the only one of us who's done PvP and that didn't go well at all, while I'm too chicken to go out at night! You're reckless, I'm a big wuss, and we're both noobs. Yes, I said it, we're noobs! Queens of noobiness!" Greenlets looked pleased for a minute, then her blocky face fell. "I see the problems with that now… But hey! Why don't we just have a bit of fun instead? I could show you the fun world of, as you call it, recklessness!"

Red sighed through a facepalm. "Ok! Let's follow your lead. BUT! One, if we die more than five times we stop. Two! If you screw up, for example we find diamonds and then get blown up by Lava Bucket, we also stop! And, if we lose ANY more valuable stuff it's YOUR FAULT." "Yesss! Let's go leap off a cliff in the mesa!"

And with that the Noobs' Adventure in the Hidden World of Idiocy began.

8:45am Minecraft Time

"Are you DOUBLE sure you've sold enough dirt for that falling potion thing? I'm feeling very bad about this…" "Nope! No money whatsoever! I spent it on deadbushes!" Another facepalm. "They're such cool blocks, aren't they? They can only place on sand… and look, no leaves!" Red pushed her hand further into her face. "Anyway. Cliff Diving time! Let's go!" And with that the complete noobs ran, jumped and aimed for the river ahead.

However they didn't know how to sprint and the two were crushed in the fall to the red sand far below.

'You Died!'

10:24am Minecraft Time

"Red, come on! Let's go to the PvP arena with our stone swords!" "Stone…?" "Yeah! Stone! It's better than wood and it's stronger too!" "Yet again… I'm not feeling too good…" "Meh, you're never feeling good unless we're cowering underground buried at bedrock level!" Red blushed slightly and shook it off. "Fiiine… Coming…" So the two players punched the sign that teleported to the PvP arena, Red doing so somewhat nervously.

"Let the games begin!" yelled the server op as the red wool above the arena switched to green by means of pistons. But being noobs they stood there, stone swords limp in their blocky hands, wondering how it did that. "Magic?" "No, some telekinesis shuffled them!" While the two noobs gazed in wonder a player in diamond armour crept up behind them, raised his blue sword… and struck them a few times each. He stood over their dead bodies and took off his armour – a picture of a lava bucket was emblazoned across his chest.

And as for Red and Greenlets…

'You Died!'

Naturally.

11:57am Minecraft Time

OK, so the noobs had died twice in a row and Greenlets was ready to try something else crazy. "Let's go hunting for monsters!" "Green… It's daytime!" "Then let's go caving!" When safely out of the warzone Red split up with her ruthless best friend to look for a cave. "Found a good one! Look!" Red pointed gleefully at none other than a RAVINE, rather smug about her find. "Yeah! Lets's go look for monsters!" Greenlets whooped. Being noobs they had no idea about shift…

Greenlets walked around the edge looking for a way down, while Red wandered down the other way. Eventually the two met on the other side of the ravine, grumbling. "There's no way in! And look at all the cucumbers looking at us from down there! We could kill them for food!" "I don't know if those are actual cucumbers, Green…" Neither noticed the pistons, or the dirt placed directly on the blocks behind the pair! With a bit of redstone wire and one lever later, Lava Bucket was ready. He sure did like killing noobs! He flicked the lever casually and waited.

'SHUNT!' The pistons pushed suddenly forward, pushing the dirt blocks into Red and Greenlets' backs. In an instant they fell down, down so fast their legs buckled and broke as they hit the rock floor. "Well, that's how to get down… Look! The cucumbers!" About five creepers were closing in on all sides silently.

'HISSSSSSSssssssssssssssssss…'

'KABOOM!'

'You Died!'

01:12pm Minecraft Time

"Let's build a statue of Lava Bucket! And plaster it with signs saying what an idiot he is!"
Red stared at her in disbelief.
"NO! Why the HECK would we do that? We'd be at war! We're noobs! First we jump off a cliff! Then Lava Bucket slays us in the arena! And finally somehow we've been pushed off a cliff into a mob of exploding cucumber thingies! Why would we get that great idiot angry?" "But you said five deaths- " "WHO CARES!? WE'D DIE AGAIN!" Greenlets hung her cubic head. "Let's build another base, then. You can build."

So the nooby friends ran off into the nooby sun, leaving a trail of noobiness behind them as they finally realised how to sprint.

A/N: But they couldn't jump and sprint. Being noobs they didn't realise it was faster. :P