Richard had spent the entire afternoon keeping his eyes firmly on his computer and his paperwork in an effort to dodge any more embarrassment. He could almost hear the cog's turning in Camille's brain as she fought to hold in the questions that she was so desperate to ask. It was therefore with some reluctance that Richard declared the day to be over and prepared himself for a grilling. However much to his astonishment he found that although Camille was almost dragging him towards his impending doom, she hadn't yet begun the line of questioning that he had expected.
"Come on Richard, you sure you won't want to risk one cup of tea?" She wielded. He glanced about desperately for a taxi, figuring it might be his quickest escape route. There! He could see one coming now, and he flagged it down.
It was slowing down – it had seen him! He felt a rush of adrenaline as he realised that for the first time in his life he was making a quick getaway. He was starting to make his excuses to Camille when it pulled up beside him and the door opened. His heart fell like a lead weight through the pavement as he heard a voice that he had hoped never again to hear in his life.
"Richie! Sorry, of course, you always preferred Richard didn't you? Sometimes I just can't help myself! Officer Myers told me I could find you here about this time," she cried behind him. Camille mouthed the word 'Richie' at him but he just waved a hand at her to tell her she should leave it.
He turned around, the least he could do was be polite, after all he had been the one to break it off, and ignore her phone calls. All 55 of them. He tried to sound enthusiastic. "Amy! This is a surprise." Behind him, Camille rolled her eyes, clearly his acting left a lot to be desired. But if there was no warmth in his voice then Amy chose not to notice it.
"But Richie darling surely that nice policeman told you I was coming!" She said, smiling widely and slapping him on the arm. "Of course you mean me being here on the island, I imagine, not here right now." Well of course that is what he had meant –he'd forgotten that pedantic side to her nature, the need she had for people to be absolutely clear as to what they meant. At first he had liked it, being a bit of a pendant himself if he was truthful, then it just became annoying. It's why he'd ignored her calls, he knew the actual conversation they'd have to have for him to break up with her properly would take a fortnight at least.
Richard did not take kindly to his personal space being invaded, especially by someone he absolutely did not want to see. And Amy was definitely invading his personal space. He was backing away from her slowly as she advanced on him until he suddenly felt a palm in the small of his back bringing him to a halt. It was Camille. She had come to his side, her hand hidden from Amy's view.
"So, Richie, aren't you going to introduce me?"
Rather than remaining smug, Camille actually suddenly took a step back, due to the sheer force of the glare that was suddenly turned on her by Amy. Richard, desperate to diffuse the situation and prevent any misunderstandings, hurried to make the introductions, "Camille this is Amy Thorpe, Amy may I introduce my colleague Detective Sergeant Camille Bordey." At the word 'colleague' Amy had relaxed, and become all smiles, offering a hand to Camille.
"Oh Camille, how lovely to meet you!" Amy was pumping her hand thoroughly and Camille began to get a glimpse of the 'crazy' Richard had been talking about. Without warning she swapped the handshake for an intimate arm link and Camille felt herself being pulled away from the security of Richard's side towards the bar. "This is where we're going isn't it, we have so much to talk about!" The blank expression that she received from Camille did nothing to deter her. "You must know all of Richard's little secrets of course! I want to know everything. And I mean everything!" The last statement was said with what Camille considered to be a little bit of menace and Camille turned back to glance at Richard, her eyes wide, indicating that he should follow them. With a sigh, he straightened his shoulders and made his way into the bar behind them.
"Now I simply must have a gin and tonic, absolutely gasping," Amy walked up to the bar, waving jovially at Fidel and Dwayne when she spotted them. She tapped lightly on its wooden surface and declared, "Gin and tonics all round! Slim line, with lime, not lemon. Squeeze one slice into each glass, and then around the edge as well. Presumably you have ice cubes made from mineral water, yes? Can't be too careful what you drink in rustic places like this."
"Rustic places?" Camille was almost spluttering. "This is my mother's bar!" The glare that would have silenced Richard in a heartbeat did nothing to quell Amy. If anything it goaded her into conceitedness as she fixed Camille with a smug smile.
"Well then, you won't have any problem in making sure, will you?"
"Friend of Richard's, are you?" Catherine enquired, beginning the process of making the drinks. It wasn't actually a question that needed an answer. Of course she didn't have any mineral water ice cubes, but whoever this woman was didn't need to know that.
"Oh yes, Richard and I were at university together – Cambridge." She gave a self satisfied raise of her chin and Catherine got the distinct impression that she was meant to congratulate her. Instead she managed a polite eyebrow raise and shot Camille a loaded look when Amy wasn't looking. "In fact we dated for a while, he pursued me of course." Camille could see behind her that Richard had screwed up his face and was shaking his head vigorously.
It didn't surprise Richard in the slightest that Amy's recollections were different from his. Truth be told, he didn't really remember her from university – they'd apparently shared one lecture together. Richard must have made an impression on her though, because when he bumped (quite literally) into her years later she had immediately gone on about what a coincidence it was to bump into an old uni chum such as himself. It has seemed rude not to agree to her suggestions of a drink and a catch up.
She had been pretty, actually she had been more than pretty and Richard had been flattered by the attention she had lavished on him, even if she had seemed a little controlling about his behaviour. By date 3 she had even brought a tie with her, telling him that she hadn't liked what he had been wearing for their other dates and wanted him to wear something special. Too stunned to say anything he had watched meekly as she had removed his old one and replaced it with a monstrosity more to her liking. The only thing he remembered in his defence was that she had been wearing a very low cut top at the time and Richard had had a very good view as the new tie was done up around his neck.
Yes, in conclusion, she had been very much in control. Somehow his brain was registering the crazy, but unable to act upon it, being suppressed by other parts of his body that were willing to put up with the discomfit for the chance of other things. Of course, then incidents occurred that could no longer be ignored. Which led to Richard not returning calls. And changing station (though a transfer had been due soon anyway). And moving house, for good measure. His long silence had not gone unnoticed.
"Ah, thinking back to those days, eh, Richie?" Amy asked him.
He cleared his throat by way of response and looked past her. "Actually I think I'll have a beer please, Catherine."
"Don't be silly Richard!" Amy cried, shoving the gin and tonic at him. "A G&T will be far more refreshing!" So, she hadn't changed on that front. "Let's go and join your fellow officers. Oh I do love a man in uniform, I always did think it was a shame you were in CID by the time we met."
"I thought you said you knew him from university?" Camille asked, puzzled.
She received a withering glare for her trouble. "I meant by the time we met again. Obviously." She turned and scanned the table that she was joining, noting the seating arrangements. Richard had managed to place himself in the corner in-between both Dwayne and Fidel reasonably confident that he was safe, Amy wouldn't be able to get to him now. But he had underestimated her yet again.
"Dywane isn't it?" She fixed him with a dazzling smile and Dwayne managed to drag his view from her cleavage and nodded enthusiastically. She was back to being charming again. "Would you be a poppet and move over one – it's been such a long time since I've seen Richard and I would so love to catch up with him." Richard looked wildly around him trying to catch the eye of any member of his team but they all ignored him. He tried to think of a way to get Dwayne to stay, but short of grabbing at his clothes there was very little that he could do. She sidled over and slid on to the chair, moving it far closer than she needed to.
"I bet you're simply dying to know what brought me to this quaint little island," she gushed, leaning towards him. "Or had you assumed you were the reason, poppet!" She laughed as if that was hilarious and utterly ridiculous, and Richard felt a spark of hope that perhaps she was here on business that would keep her busy, or even…honeymoon? No, her hands were sadly ring free. "You see, I am tracing my family history, like Who do you think you are? Turns out one of my many great something's actually ruled Saint Marie! I couldn't resist the opportunity to see the place. Ha! Imagine if my family had kept hold of it, darling, I'd be your queen!"
Richard suddenly felt guilt for the colonial past of the United Kingdom. It wasn't the first time – it was one of the hazards of studying history at university. But this evening was particularly bad, especially when his whole team were looking more than a little shocked by the statement. "I don't think you mean ruled, Amy, presumably they were appointed as a Governor?"
"Psh – same thing really." She said dismissively. He frowned at her, they certainly weren't the same thing, and Amy had apparently studied history, granted - not the same modules as him, but she still should have known that. Especially if it was part of her personal history.
"Right." Richard was groping around for a new topic of conversation, given that Amy had shut down the last one so succinctly. "So, how did you know I was on Saint Marie?"
"Why from the newspaper article of course! There was a picture of you escorting that dreadful Vicky Woodward woman. How exciting though, being involved in such a high profile case. You must be terribly good at your job," she practically purred.
"I have a very good team," Richard said, embarrassed both by her praise and the fact that she was holding the straw in her drink in a very provocative manner. He risked a look at Dwayne which confirmed that he had definitely noticed the straw too. "You've met Dwayne and Camille, and this is Fidel..." he pointed out each of them in turn trying to get her to stop looking at him.
"Fidel's our newest sergeant," he was talking across her trying to shift the conversation into a wider context. It worked, with a huff she turned to Fidel, realising that if she wanted to get Richard back then she needed to make an effort with his team.
"A recent promotion, hey?" She said, beaming at him.
Fidel, in whom you could not find a more devoted husband, immediately became flustered by the attention and declared, "Yes, my wife is very proud. We have a baby girl. We've been together 6 years."
A stony look came over her face again. Clearly she didn't like not being the centre of attention. Thankfully Dwayne came to the rescue.
"So Amy, has anyone shown you around yet?" Richard would have kissed Dwayne in gratitude had he been closer, actually it was probably a good thing that he wasn't as he would have had to lean over Amy. And Amy was already about as close as he could bear, her hand almost at his knee, waiting for the right moment to assert her claim on him. As it was he took the opportunity to slip out of his chair muttering that he needed to make a phone call, staring resolutely ahead of him lest he accidentally catch her eye and she take it as a hint that she should follow him.
Outside of the bar, he considered just legging it – it wouldn't be the first time he had done such a thing. The biggest thing he was surprised to find he was concerned about was what Camille, well everyone really, would be thinking of him right now. There was no doubt about it in his mind – Amy was far worse than she had been on those dates with him, at least in terms of the disregard she was treating everyone else with. Sure, he'd made the odd joke about empires before, but that is what they had always been – jokes. Just like the whole 'hating the French' thing was more friendly rivalry stemming from years of history, as opposed to a particularly strong feeling. God, he really hoped they realised that! It would be a bit awkward to try to drop it into conversation now.
Back at the table, Amy had excused herself, she hadn't seen the point of spending time with them if Richard wasn't there. Silence had descended for a full 30 seconds before Dwayne broke it with a lamentable, "poor chief." Fidel nodded his solidarity but Camille looked completely bewildered at the boys' show of sympathy.
"Hey, he chose her," she pointed out to them. "He admitted to me he took her out more than once! A woman like that. And then, instead of explaining to her what was wrong, he just ignores her calls – never giving her the chance to improve herself. He may very well be responsible for the woman she is today," she continued sternly.
Dwayne shook her head, "Camille, you can't reason with a woman like that. And she is very attractive, the Chief is only a man after all – the attention would be enough to turn anyone's head. Call it temporary insanity if you will."
Camille snorted, so Dwayne tried again. "Camille, have you heard of the crazy hot ratio?" Camille frowned then shook her head. Dwayne continued, "Well, the hotter a woman is, the crazier she can be. And she," he indicated towards the bathrooms, "is hot. Which means that she can be almost as crazy as she likes." Fidel was now nodding sagely as Camille stared in disbelief.
"That's a thing? The hot crazy scale? That's a thing?"
Dwayne looked as though he had given away a vital secret about the existence of mankind, "Come on Camille, you can't hold it against the guy." Camille mulled that thought over for a moment then shrugged her acceptance. If what Richard had told her prior was correct, then this had happened 10 years ago and he was more than being punished for it now. "Good, and you won't mind if Uncle Dwayne here..."
"Seriously?"
Even Fidel was giving Dwayne an alarmed look, and he had far more experience in Dwayne's dealings with women than Camille had. "Hey, I promised the Chief I would try to distract her for him, remember? You wouldn't want me to renege on my promise, would you?"
"I think the Chief would prefer if we could find a way to get her off the island entirely," Fidel said. "Imagine if she really likes you, she might move here!"
"What do you mean imagine if she liked me? Of course she is going to like me!"
"Now you're beginning to sound a lot like her..."
"Relax Camille, she's here for a week? During that time Uncle Dwayne gets to have a little fun, cures her of her obsession with the Chief then sends her on her way. Win win!" It was at this moment that Richard decided to make reappearance back at the table. He hadn't been able to bring himself to make a run for it, he couldn't leave Camille with her, God knows what sort of thing she would tell her.
"Where is she?" Richard asked, filled with hope that Amy might have actually left.
"Getting more drinks," Camille informed him. She examined the bar area. "And winding my mother up in a way only you have previously achieved." That did seem to be the case, and Richard mentally congratulated Catherine on her professionalism for not tipping the whole tray of drinks of Amy's head.
"Well, I promised Juliet I'd be home by half six, so I need to be making a move," Fidel said, rising from the table where his original gin and tonic stood untouched. This, in combination with his observations on Catherine, gave Richard an idea.
Amy was already on her way back over with a new tray. Placing it on the table she began handing them out to everyone, ignoring the fact that they all had the previous one still in front of them. Standing up, apparently to help her, he began to lean forward, not quite believing what he was about to do. Lining up her handbag on the floor with the drink nearest the edge of the table he executed a casual arm gesture designed to send the two on a collision course.
"Oh Richard!" She cried, as the drink splattered all over her bag. "You have always been so bloody clumsy! Do you know how much this thing is worth?" He was receiving a look from Camille that said she knew how much it was worth – and if the bag was permanently damaged his pay check was not going to thank him.
"Quick!" Camille said, whose love of nice bags apparently overcame her dislike of Amy. "There is a hand-dryer in the toilet!" She disappeared, not quite as planned but it did get Amy out of the way.
Richard turned to Dwayne. His need to protect him overcame any embarrassment that he had been feeling prior to now. He pointed a finger in his face. "Do not have sex with that woman."
He received three disbelieving looks from around the table. "Richard you can't order him…" Camille began.
"Fine," he clarified. "It isn't an order. It is very strong advice. Now, if you'll excuse me, tell her I've been called to a crime scene or something! Her bad mood with me, based on past experience, should last the rest of the evening. Oh and Dwayne?" He took a deep breath. "Good luck."
He practically ran from the bar and was already halfway up the street before he realised that Camille was following him. "Richard!"
He stopped, he wasn't really in the mood for the argument that was about to happen.
"Look, I'm sorry about the bag, but it was the only diversion I could think of." He saw the look he was getting. "You don't understand I've tried spilling a drink on her dress before, but she just sat there while it went see through! She's not normal!"
"Yes, I realise that, which rather begs the question of why you were going out with her in the first place!" Camille argued back. "And you know, you could have been a bit firmer in there with her. I thought you'd changed, that you liked it here now, but maybe you agree with her and secretly still think we're all backwards!"
"I was younger!" Richard argued back. "And apparently stupider. You know we can't all be you Camille, with people lining up to date you. You probably get so much attention that it's annoying. I don't so when I do it can be flattering and a little overwhelming, so excuse me for being human!"
"Oh you're human, there's no doubt about that. I just had no idea you were such a stereotype. A pretty woman shows an interest in you and even though she's crazy you put up with it so you can have sex with her! Then, you don't bother calling her out of politeness to end it and even though you hate her, you forbid Dwayne from sleeping with her so that it doesn't hurt your male pride!"
"That was not why I forbid him! And as I already said, it wasn't an order, it was advice. Because I know now what I should have known at the start. It's not worth it, nothing on the planet could ever make that worth it." His voice was rising now, and it wouldn't surprise him if Amy was able to track him down. "I suppose you've never made a mistake in your love life?"
"Of course I've made mistakes!" She shouted at him.
"Then why aren't I allowed to have done so?" He shouted right back.
"Because!"
"Because what? Because it's too ridiculous to imagine that anyone would want to be with me? Or perhaps it's unimaginable that anyone would want to stalk me to a tropical island in the middle of nowhere? Or is it because you don't like me enough to afford me a second chance, because I'm cut from the same cloth that Amy is and I need to be punished for it?"
"No! Because I thought you were different, like maybe you were the first man I've met who wasn't like…" Camille stopped abruptly. She stopped, because the next words that were to come out of her mouth were 'my father'. Oh God, she thought to herself, I so have Daddy issues. But too many men had walked out of Camille's life – not just her father, a boyfriend at university who upped and joined the air force leaving her only a note. An officer at the police academy she had been becoming increasingly close to, who returned from a holiday with a woman he had met and married in the space of a week. And finally Luc – somebody she had actually gone so far as gotten engaged to, before he got cold feet and returned to Quebec, and his high school girlfriend. Camille had kind of stopped trying after that, with the exception of the dates her mother set her up on, fearing there was no man on this planet capable of loyalty.
She had spent so much time assuming Richard was just going to up and leave any day – go back to his first love, England. And then she had started to believe that he was here to stay, and started to believe that maybe she had something to do with that. And now he was looking at her, waiting for her to finish the sentence, which was never going to happen. Instead, physically deflating, she said, "I'm sorry. Of course I think people can love you." Because in the end, didn't she?
Camille thought he looked more worn out than usual by their arguing, or perhaps it was Amy's visit in general, but seemed to accept her apology. Richard wondered if he should hold a grudge like he usually did, he would be more than within his rights to flounce off. But he suddenly saw himself through her eyes and realised how juvenile that was, and despite wanting a quiet evening, he found that he no longer wanted a quiet evening on his own. She annoyed the hell out of him on almost every conceivable level but he realised that he wanted to spend time with Camille. So instead of turning his back on her, on them, he found himself wanting to bury the argument, to show her that he had changed since he had arrived.
He tried to break the ice. "You don't think I should go back do you? I know you think I haven't been very kind to her, but I don't want to encourage her. I mean, you saw how she reacted to you. That's why I said we were colleagues," that caught Camille's attention. Despite everything she felt a tinge of hope as Richard continued. "You know, instead of um, friends?"
"Of course," she said, though desperate to ask more. "No, I think we're best to just leave Dwayne to handle her. I, um, I could give you a lift back if you like?"
Richard nodded, accepting the invitation. Perhaps he could convince Camille to stay for a beer or two...