Fluff!
lil-albatross asked:
Pregnancy fluff? Is that a viable option Col? :]Okay so it's slightly angsty but definitely fluffy…I think?! ;)
Silence.
Too loud silence.
Deafening silence.
Telling, crushing, silence.
"Emma—"
She pushed away from the kitchen table, her chair scraping against the tiled floor loudly as she stood up quickly and walked away on shaky and weak legs. Moving towards the sink, she braced herself against the counter, her hands clutching the edge tightly as she stood with her back to him, noting with a slight sinking feeling that he had yet to make a move—his words seemingly caught in his throat. Closing her eyes for a moment, collecting her thoughts while trying to calm her suddenly rapidly beating heart, she reached up to the nearest cupboard, opened it and grabbed a glass, her hands—trembling and somewhat numb—barely able to hold onto it as she filled it with water and downed the entire thing in one go.
"Emma…" he tried again, his lilting voice soft, the tiniest hint of concern woven into his tone.
"Just…just wait…" she said quietly, cutting him off once again as she placed the glass back down on the counter. Taking in a deep breath and gathering her courage, she straightened her shoulders and turned to him, disregarding the burning sting in her eyes, the way her vision was blurring slightly with the threat of something she refused to acknowledge as tears. "Yes…yes I'm pregnant and yes it's yours…I mean, obviously it's yours. And…and I know…I know it's a shock and I know that it's sudden and…and dammit I know whatever is going on between us is still new and fragile and…" she paused, shaking her head quickly as her throat began to close up on her; her eyes flitting over his shoulder, to the door behind him, down to the ground and then slowly back up again—landing everywhere…anywhere… but directly on him.
She couldn't face him.
She couldn't bear to see what was there…lingering in his stare.
"And I'm scared…terrified actually." She whispered, hating herself for admitting it out loud—her lips trembling, a slight buzz humming in her ears. '"And last week when I found out…I didn't know what to do…I panicked, I didn't want to tell you. That's…that's why I waited. I was even more terrified than I am now… because…because up until then I had never thought about…never gave myself a chance to think about…I never thought I could…" Annoyed with her stuttering and halting words, she drew her lower lip into her mouth, biting down on it sharply and wincing when she tasted blood—concentrating on the burn, desperate to keep herself from crying, frantic to find the right way to convey her feelings to him.
But how could she put into words what she was feeling when she didn't even know herself?
Fear.
Shock.
Confusion.
Awe.
Hope.
"I'm keeping it…him…her…the baby." She said quickly the words coming out in one whooshing and jumbled statement. "Because while I'm terrified, and completely unprepared, and…and…" she shook her head again, turning away from him and back towards the sink, her eyes closing slowly as she heard him get up behind her. "For the past week I've allowed myself to think…to accept the possibility…and…" she let out another shaky breath—one that was just short of a disbelieving laugh—before continuing to struggle with her words. "And I want it. God, I didn't realize how badly I wanted it…didn't give myself a chance to even play with the idea that I could ever want to again. I mean, not that last time was much of a…with Henry…I messed up and…I mean…dammit what I'm saying is now that it's here and happening…I want it. I want it so badly." She stopped abruptly, listened to the silence that lingered behind her, registered the ticking of the clock off to the side, her eyes a complete watery mess. "I'm keeping the baby Killian…you don't have to…I don't expect you to…I can do this on my own…I've done it before…kind of…you don't…" she stopped suddenly, feeling a warm presence at her back—fingers wrapping around her elbow and turning her around slowly.
He wasn't leaving.
Finally, unable to stop herself any longer, she let herself look up into the searching and knowing stare she knew could be, would be, her eventual undoing—her lips dipping down into a quivering frown as tears, hot and damning, trailed down her cheeks freely.
And as her eyes locked with his, she tried to swallow, tried to steady herself; a slight gasp escaping her lips as she saw what swam in his vividly blue gaze…
Fear.
Shock.
Confusion.
Awe.
Hope.
"You're having a baby." he whispered in a tone that had gone gruff, raspy, and thick with emotion. "We're having a baby."
"Yes." She couldn't say anything else, her voice soft, her eyes burning, her mind a muddled mess—she felt weak, vulnerable, and unstable.
But she didn't care.
She couldn't.
And as he pulled her into his arms, whispering endearments into her hair in a tone that was filled with wonder, admiration, and something that her heart tentatively placed as love, even while her still hazy mind refused to accept it, she finally let herself relax—despite the fact that there was a voice in her head that hissed that she was stronger than this, that she needed no one, that she was perfectly capable of doing this on her own.
Instead of pushing him away she leaned into his embrace.
Instead of running she let herself be held, comforted, and taken care of.
Her fear subsiding slightly, she listened to him as he assured her that he'd be there, that he wasn't going anywhere, that she wasn't going to have to do this alone.
She was having a baby.
They were having a baby…
Together.
End.
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