Chapter 2. Hello Mother, Hello Father.

"Ami? You're awake?" The blue haired girl didn't look away from the screen of the Mercury Computer as she heard her mother's surprised voice.

"Couldn't sleep," she muttered, cycling through several pages of readouts.

"What exactly are you doing?" Now Mrs. Mizuno's voice sounded somewhat worried, as her shadow fell across the kitchen table.

"Trying to match the energy signatures my computer recorded last night against any previously recorded phenomena," the senshi rattled off the answer without really thinking about it, before her rather sleep deprived and surprise addled brain caught up to the situation. Immediately, she slammed a finger down on the power button so hard she felt something twinge, and closed the Mercury Computer's top with a snap.

"I don't recall ever giving you enough money to purchase a palmtop," Mrs. Mizuno now had her arms crossed, looking quizzically down at her daughter. "And I've never seen one capable of that sort of graphical interface, either."

"Ahehehe…" Ami laughed, nervously. Her mother had been the second person in the past day to get a good look at the tiny piece of Silver Millennium technology, and unfortunately, unlike Ranma she knew what she was looking at. "Um, it's experimental, I got it from school for testing…"

Her mother sighed, "Ami, you really aren't a very good liar." Ami winced. "But we're going to have to talk about… this," she gestured at the blue case still held in her daughter's hand, "some other time."

Ami sighed in relief, before following her mother's gaze to the two people who were sleeping in the living room. For a moment she wondered if revealing everything about the Senshi would be easier to deal with, as Ranma rolled over, muttering something about a stupid panda. When he rolled off of the blanket he'd been sleeping on, bumping against the leg of the coffee table, his eyes shot open and he looked around in confusion.

Catching sight of the two Mizunos, he let his head fall back with a thud, missing the pillow and bouncing off of the floor. "Oh, right, that." Realizing what he'd sounded like after a few seconds, he muttered "G'mornin," and started getting up, packing away his blanket. "So, Mom's not awake yet?" he asked, taking note of the sun's position out the window.

"Well, she had a… stressful… day yesterday," Mrs. Mizuno responded, obviously trying to be diplomatic.

"Why, what time is it?" Ami asked, before taking a quick look at the microwave and yelping as if she'd just put her hand on the stove. "It's eight twenty!" she yelled, surprised, before charging out of the living room and into her bedroom. Unknowingly emulating Usagi, she began muttering "I'm going to be late" as she grabbed a clean set of school clothes from her dresser, only stopped by her mother clearing her throat.

"Ami, I'm going to call you in sick this morning," the older woman explained, stopping her daughter in her tracks.

"What?" Ami asked, confused, her sailor top half unfolded in her hands, "But I'm feeling fine."

Mrs. Mizuno sighed. "Nodoka and I were talking yesterday," she explained. "We decided that it would be best to take care of all of the shocks at once, and make sure there won't be any… misunderstandings. If what Nodoka says about some of her son's friends is true, misunderstandings would be bad."

From the other room, Ranma could be heard. "Damn, never thought of that. Ami's pretty young, but…"

"Pretty young for what?" Ami asked, replacing her uniform in the dresser and poking her head out of the door.

Ranma winced. "It's a long story, but let's just say havin' stuff explained quick is probably the best way." Both Mizunos nodded cautiously. "Can I use the phone?"

HR.

Kasumi Tendo turned back from the door, lowering her arm from the wave that had sent her younger sisters off to school. Akane, as usual, had been talking about Ranma, though it was rather unusual for Nabiki to be home so late. Heading towards the kitchen, the eldest Tendo daughter wondered if that had anything to do with Auntie Nodoka's disappearance, and her son and husband's attempts to find her.

She was jolted out of her musings as the phone in the front hall let out a loud ring. She turned back, passing her father who was sitting and gazing out at the Koi pond, to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kasumi." It was Ranma's voice, and she couldn't hear the sound of traffic and wind around him that indicated a pay phone.

"Oh, Ranma-kun," She responded, noting a blur of motion from the corner of her eye as her father shot up and moved closer to her.

"Are Akane and Nabiki still there?" Ranma asked, sounding worried.

She blinked. "No, they just left for school a few minutes ago."

She became even more confused at his next words. "That's good. Could ya do me a favor? I need ya to get in touch with the ol' ghoul, and tell Pop to come home when he phones in. I found Mom, but things got kinda weird."

"I… can do that," Kasumi said, slowly. "Is she all right?"

"Uh… depends on what ya mean by that," Ranma replied, and then continued hurriedly, "She's healthy, but stuff happened, and… it's hard to explain."

"I see," the brown haired girl suppressed several questions that wanted to burst out, focussing on what was important. "Will you be home for lunch?"

"Yeah, I think so, just get Cologne and our Dads there, all right? Don't tell anyone else," Ranma was being quite emphatic.

"I understand," Kasumi said, starting to get a little worried.

Ranma sighed in relief. "Thanks Kasumi," he said, before hanging up. She did likewise, and had to suppress a slight jump as she remembered that her father was standing next to her.

"Did he find anything, Kasumi-chan?"

"Ranma found Auntie," she replied. "She's well, but he seemed to think there was something else wrong."

The tall man pondered that for a moment. "Well, as long as she's safe, I'm sure the boy can handle whatever else is happening."

"I'm sure he can, Father," Kasumi replied while typing in the Neko-Hanten's phone number.

HR.

"How many patches can a single wall have?" Ami heard her mother mutter quietly, as their small car carefully turned down one of the Nerima district's narrow streets. Privately, she agreed. The district's architecture bore many visible scars of slightly off-color stone or wood. Next to her, she heard Ranma shifting uncomfortably. He'd been doing that a lot, as it seemed he wasn't used to cars, but this time when she turned to look at him he was looking slightly embarrassed.

"Go left here and follow the road next to the canal," he said, trying to change the subject for some reason. Ami's mother nodded, and the car turned to go down the new path, where the blue haired girl noticed the top of the fence looked more patched together than all of the other walls put together, and there was a large, orange and black sign that proclaimed "Do not walk on this fence!" with a little doodle of a head with a pigtail below it.

Ami shrugged, trying to dismiss the doodle's strange resemblance to Ranma, when her mother yelped in surprise and hit the breaks. She jerked forward in her seat, her head whipping around to look out the front window, just in time to see an ancient gnome bound off of the hood of the car, a large bag of… something… over his shoulder.

"Goddamned ol' pervert…" Ranma growled, reaching for the handle to open his door.

"Ranma!" Nodoka snapped. The pigtailed boy froze, seemingly thinking for a moment, before slumping down in his seat.

"What… what was that?" Ami's mother asked.

"Trust me, ya don't wanna know," Ranma replied. "Let's just go."" Ami leaned sideways to hear as he muttered something else that sounded like 'At least he won't be there.'

The older woman nodded and the car started forward again, making it another block and a half before stopping in front of a large wooden gate in a stone wall. "To challenge the owner in savage combat?" Ami asked, reading the wooden sign that hung next to the gate.

Ranma shrugged, releasing his seatbelt and pulling open his door. "Nobody ever pays attention to that sign."

Nodoka and Ami's mother were already out of the car, approaching the gate. "Um, I think maybe I should go in first," Ranma offered. "In case some unexpected people showed up, or the ol' man goes nuts, or somethin'."

Nodoka frowned, crossing her arms, and for just a second Ami could see that inexplicable quality of motherliness in her, despite her physical age. "You really shouldn't talk like that about your father," she rebuked.

"Maybe," Ranma replied, "but I'm not sure if he'll recognize you, and if he doesn't, he might do somethin' stupid." Ami thought Nodoka was going to object again, but she didn't, simply nodding and stepping back.

Ranma walked forward, pulling open one of the large doors and stepping into a well kept front yard, a surprisingly large traditionally built house in the center of it with a smaller, blocky outbuilding off to one side. "We're back!" Ranma called, and braced for something.

What he was bracing for was made rather evident a moment later as the front door to the house was flung open by a giant… panda? The black and white bear barreled towards the pigtailed martial artist, stopping only a few feet away from him and looking around. Apparently not finding what it was looking for, it growled menacingly at him.

"Jeez, ol' man, you couldn't even stay human?" Ranma asked irritably as an older, dark haired man came out the door the Panda had just used, followed by a pretty brown haired girl who was only a bit older than Ranma, and…

"Youma!" Ami yelped, jumping backwards as the shriveled… thing… came out of the house, hopping along on a gnarled old walking stick, white hair cascading down its back.

Ranma immediately jumped back and into a defensive stance as well, strangely followed by the dark haired older man, the panda and Nodoka. "Where?" he asked, after looking around.

Ami's skin prickled in a fashion she had never really felt before, but she shrugged that off as best she could, and pointed shakily at the thing on the stick.

"Oh," Ranma noticeably relaxed and laughed. "Gotta say, that's a new one for the ol' ghoul. Mind if I use it?"

"That is not funny, sonny boy, fallen kami are dangerous," the creature growled.

"Actually, elder, there have been some monsters attacking the Minato ward that the news has been calling youma," the kind seeming brown haired girl cut in. "I think she thought you were one of them."

"Oh," the creature responded, irritably. "You are lucky that you aren't a martial artist, young lady."

Ami nodded, confused, but willing for the moment to rely on the fact that both Ranma and Nodoka seemed comfortable around both the stick-bound figure and the giant panda, who ignored by everyone else had been getting more and more agitated.

"Where is she, boy?!" read a sign that the animal seemed to pull out of nowhere.

"Damnit, Pops, you really shoulda changed back first." He sighed and stepped back next to Nodoka. "Recognize her?"

The panda studied the girl for several seconds, then its eyes bulged. "Nodoka?" Its next sign asked, in a shaky scrawl.

"Yes, husband," the auburn haired girl confirmed, looking nervous.

"That is your husband?" Ami blurted, noting that events had been getting to her far too much lately.

The panda was trying to decide what to do, what questions to ask, but was clearly having a hard time as there was a steadily growing pile of signs behind him, all with partial sentences. Abruptly, he made a gesture as though to pull out another sign board, frowned at his empty paw, and growffed at the long haired girl.

"I'll go get you some hot water Uncle Genma," the girl said, smiling gently and turning to enter the house. Suddenly, things started to make a twisted sort of sense. Hot water was the method Ranma used to reverse his transformation into a girl, which meant that his father turned into a panda… at least she was relatively sure that was how it worked.

"You look rather lost, child," it was the voice of the 'ol ghoul,' who had apparently moved around to balance on her stick next to Ami. The girl resisted the urge to jump, or to pull her transformation pen.

"Nodoka thought that we should try to prepare her," her mother explained, "but I wasn't sure how to do so, honored Elder."

"Ah, Saeko-chan, it's good to see you again," the elder responded. "And your daughter, she's looking quite strong and healthy." She looked wistful. "You would have made fine Amazons, you know."

"Mom, you know this You.. person?" Ami quickly corrected, blushing.

The elder sighed. "Almost as disrespectful as your brother, but at least you're making an effort. Yes, I have known your mother since before you were born, though we don't speak often."

"When Nodoka managed to go back home, we were deep in the Chinese wilderness," Ami's mother explained. "The artifact that had sent her back in time was an Amazon treasure, so we had to ask them how to use it."

Ami nodded, though she didn't really understand it. Before this, the only weirdness in her life had been her career as a magical girl which, she had to admit, was pretty weird. Her mother had seemed like a normal, if workaholic, pediatrician. Now, she found out that the woman had adventured deep in the Chinese jungle and to a village of warrior women.

"Ah, thank you for reminding me of that artifact," the elder said, and hopped over to where Nodoka was standing, apparently still staring at the Panda, who was staring back. The auburn haired girl was obviously agitated, while the animal was deep in thought. pretty much everyone jumped when the old woman somehow lashed out with her staff, smacking Nodoka over the head with it and got it back under herself before she could fall.

"Ol' ghoul…" Ranma growled, followed by an angry growf from the panda.

"That was for reciting the invocation verse for that amulet of yours like a damned fool and leaving your pregnant companion alone in the village," Cologne said, seriously. "Now, fulfill your word."

Nodoka winced, rubbing the side of her head with one hand, but fished around in the purse she had slung over one shoulder with the other, producing a small round metallic object. "I didn't know about Ami-chan when I left, Elder."

"That does not matter," the elder responded, plucking the item up and tucking it into her robes. "Amazon law is clear on this point. a male who impregnates a woman in Amazon lands and leaves her is considered to have committed a terrible crime. He is to return and be with the woman, if she wishes it, within the time allotted or be killed."

"...wha…" Nodoka's mouth was open in shock as the elder dropped to the ground, her staff pointed at the younger woman's chest.

"The time is long since elapsed."

HR.

An ear-splitting roar shattered the silence that the Tendo yard had fallen into, before a barrelling mass of fur, teeth and claws flew towards Cologne. Her surprise lasted for only a fraction of a second, before she leapt out of the path of the charging panda. She was turning to track its path when something impacted against her back hard, sending her flying into, and then through, the yard's outer wall. She'd curled up to absorb the impact, but her head was reeling with confusion until she managed to skid to a halt on the street outside of the Tendo compound.

She looked around rapidly, only to see Genma's panda form vaulting over the wall, his claws suddenly spreading out wide to either side of his body. She only just barely got out of the way of the vacuum blade which sliced a fair sized chunk out of the street and a compact car that was parked nearby.

The Amazonian matriarch cursed under her breath. She hadn't expected the panda to attack at all, but unsealing the Yama-senken was… She shook her head. Perhaps she should have thought through her little joke a bit more, but she'd been preparing it ever since the disrespectful little cursed brat with the mangled memories had spontaneously left the village more than fourteen years ago. "Genma Saotome, I…" she started, when her danger sense screamed at her and she turned, Ranma seeming to materialize out of nothingness, the Amaguriken running at full power. Of course, where there was the Yama, there was the Umi.

She could counter the Amaguriken, one of her tribe's own techniques, even from someone as good as Ranma. In order to move that fast one had to fall into at least somewhat predictable patterns, and having trained him, she knew all of his. The problem was that stopping him would keep her immobile, and she was fighting two opponents here, not one. She winced as what she was expecting occurred, a panda roar that desperately wanted to be an attack call, and she felt several piercing pains in her back. Abruptly, her Amaguriken failed as the chi flows to her arms seemed to fade away. Several powerful blows crashed into her chest, and she flew backwards, scraping across the pavement for about four meters.

She surveyed her condition. A great deal of her concentration was being devoted to keeping her chi moving through her body despite the near-debilitating strike she'd just been hit with, as at her advanced age she would likely die if it stopped, but she was confident that she could get back up and continue fighting. Winning, on the other hand, was probably not going to happen. Sighing, she let her head fall to the street and waited until Ranma's face appeared in her field of vision, glaring down at her.

"Believe it or not, sonny boy, I was only kidding." He crossed his arms, his glare not diminishing in the least. There was an equally annoyed panda growl behind him. "I was only planning to scare the girl," she continued. "I wasn't really thinking about how you and your father reacted when she went missing… the problem with planning something like this for more than a decade, I suppose."

"The scary thing is I can believe you'd do somethin' like that," Ranma grumbled.

Cologne nodded, hauling herself to her feet. Her pride as an Amazon burned in the back of her mind, desperately wishing to put the outsiders in their places. Of course, she'd managed to live for nearly three hundred years by knowing when to ignore that little voice, and given she had to admit that this time, she'd been the one to screw up in a slightly delicate situation, doing so was quite easy.

"Um, Elder?" She looked up to see Kasumi Tendo standing in front of her, a kettle in one hand, and her staff in the other. "Thank you, Kasumi." She took the staff as the panda took the water, and decided that for the moment she would much rather use it as support than jump around on it.

HR.

Luna lay on a tree branch, basking in the sun, her tail swishing gently below her as she relaxed, erm, carefully watched Usagi's school for dark kingdom activity. She was jolted out of her reverie when a voice called up to her. "Luna, stop catnapping and get down here!"

The black furred mooncat gave an irritable, disdainful look that only cats could pull off down at the blonde haired girl who was standing on the grass below her, but upon seeing the worried look on Usagi's face, she clambered out of the tree. "What is it Usagi, trouble?"

"I'm not sure," the blonde replied, worriedly. "Ami didn't show up for classes this morning."

"Well, perhaps she's sick," Luna offered.

"Ami? She'd probably come in even if she was dying. The girl doesn't know the benefits of a good sick day."

Luna sniffed. "Some people have an actual work ethic… but you do have a point. Have you tried her communicator?"

Usagi nodded. "Yeah, and she isn't answering."

"Hmm…" Luna put a paw up to her chin. "I don't think you have enough time before lunch ends, and you are not skipping school. I will check Ami's apartment and make sure she's all right."

"Thanks Luna," the blonde said, trying to conceal her disappointment that she'd lost an excuse to skip school.

HR.

"My car…" Ami's mother grumbled into her cup of tea, as she sat at the Tendo family's dining table. Ami herself wasn't really sure what to say. True, Ranma had seemed rather graceful and a little strange, but she hadn't expected him to start pulling moves straight out of some of the Shonen manga Rei hid under her bed. The panda doing the same thing was just the icing on the cake, though afterward, she hadn't been terribly surprised when he'd turned himself into a man with a kettle of hot water.

"So," the elder who called herself Cologne spoke up, from where she was resting against several piled up cushions. "Now that the inevitable pointless misunderstanding fight is out of the way, perhaps we should offer some explanations."

"That would be appreciated, Elder," the dark haired man who had introduced himself as Soun Tendo, after grabbing Ami and her mother in order to drag them into the house when the previous fight had started, replied. "While I've gathered that one of these young ladies is apparently Nodoka, suffering from some form of magic, I hope that the other isn't yet another of Ranma's fiancees."

"Fiancees, plural?" Ami's mother asked, taking her eyes off of the hole in the yard wall, and the wrecked vehicle that was currently being moved by road safety workers.

"She ain't a fiancee," Ranma growled. "She's my sister."

Genma's face immediately went white. "No, I didn't do that! I would've remembered! ...probably."

From where she was sitting, Nodoka groaned and rubbed her forehead. "She isn't yours, husband," she said, reluctantly.

Genma blinked and then shot to his feet, the table saved from toppling only due to a quick movement by Kasumi. "What?" he demanded. "Nodoka! How could…" He stopped halfway through his rant, his mouth open. "Wait, how could you? She's fourteen, and… I definitely would have known if you were pregnant, we saw each other every day before I left on the training trip."

"I'm… actually kinda surprised you figured that out," Ranma remarked, receiving a glare from his father that slid off of him like water off a duck's back. "Um, ol' man, maybe I should talk ta you about this in private."

Genma crossed his arms and hmphed. "Would you stop pussyfooting your way around this and tell me what's going on?" He growled, glaring at Ranma, and then turning the look to his rejuvenated wife.

"One of Ranma's friends ambushed me instead of him by accident and drugged me in such a way that I thought I was Ranma and reduced to around his age. He then banished me using an ancient Amazon artifact that actually threw me many years back in time where, still thinking I was Ranma, I met up with Saeko-chan. I thought I was locked in my cursed form and lost, so after some convincing, she helped me go to China and… unlock myself." At this point, Genma's face was getting paler and paler, but Nodoka kept going. "My memory started returning when I gained the curse, but it was slow, and only really fixed when I visited the Amazon tribe. Before that, I…" She blushed, and turned away, embarrassed.

"I…" Genma gulped. Hard.

"And that's why I wanted ta tell you in private," Ranma chipped in.

"Oh my," Kasumi whispered, though the room had become so silent that it seemed loud.

"I… see," Genma continued. "Boy?"

"Pop?" Ranma asked.

"Come with me. Dojo. Now."

"Right, pop," Ranma replied.

Genma stomped out of the room, not looking at anyone, as Nodoka began to sob. "It's gunna be all right, mom," Ranma said, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"BOY! DOJO!"

Ranma shrugged. "Think he's just gotta hit somethin'."

HR.

"Grah! Stand still and let me hit you!" Akane Tendo felt a strange sense of deja vu. The words were familiar, but the voice that was bellowing them was not. She looked at her older sister, but Nabiki just raised one shoulder in a half shrug as she pushed open the door to the Tendo compound.

"It came from the dojo," the brown haired girl said, tilting her head towards the structure in question. "Probably just another fight, and I'm too tired to care right now." Waving to Akane as she inevitably went to investigate, the older sister headed for the house.

Akane shook her head, knowing that Nabiki was probably right, but curious regardless. As she got closer to the dojo, she heard the sound of scuffling feet along with loud bangs. "Jeez, you're sloppier than the tomboy," Ranma's teasing voice came to her, and her left fist clenched spasmodically.

"Get back here, you little…" Now that the volume was a little lower, Akane could recognize the second voice as Genma. Just as she pulled the door open, there was a loud crash, and she saw the tail end of a pin, Ranma holding his father down.

"So, you calm yet?" the young martial artist asked, casually, though his red shirt was badly torn in several places and she could see bruises and scrapes running up both arms, a small stream of blood coming from his nose.

"How can I be calm about something like this?" Genma growled.

"Look, there's gotta be a reason you came out here ta punch things rather than yelling about it," Ranma replied.

"Oh, I don't know," Genma snapped angrily. "My wife cheated on me, and oh, by the way, her illegitimate child is sitting in the living room, by another woman, because now along with being the same age as my son she has the same damned curse!"

"Are you done?" Ranma asked.

Genma sighed. "For now." He stood up, dusting himself off. "Boy, could you do something for me?"

"Depends," Ranma replied. "I ain't marryin' Kuno."

"Not funny," Genma growled. "I need you to go get my pack. I need… to think."

"Ol' man, you're not…" Ranma started.

"If I don't, I'm going to do something I'll regret," Genma replied. "I know I'm not the greatest at thinking things through. God knows for the last few years you've been happy to let me know when I've done something stupid, and I know… this isn't really Nodoka's fault, but… I'm not asking you to go with me, boy. In fact, stay here, make sure your mother's all right, but I need to go."

"Damn it, old man…" Ranma muttered, before turning. He stopped dead as he saw Akane standing in the doorway, her eyes as big as saucers. "Akane…"

"I'm… just going to go in now," Akane decided, turning and slowly making her way towards the house. Her brain was trying to make sense of what she'd just heard. Of course, one good thing that she immediately latched onto was that Auntie Nodoka was back, at least she thought so, with the rest of what she'd heard, that might not be a terribly good thing.

HR.

"All right, so why are we here?" Rei Hino asked, taking in the apartment complex that she, Usagi and Luna stood in front of.

"I told you, Ami is missing," Luna replied. "We need to find her, and the only clues I could find were that her apartment was in some disarray and there was a large traveling pack in one corner."

"How did you get into her apartment?" the black haired priestess asked, curiously.

The moon cat gave a full body shudder. "Never mind that."

"We called you because your shrine maiden… thing might pick up some information," Usagi explained.

Rei's eyebrow twitched. "Shrine maiden thing?" She sighed. "Of course, without Ami around she thinks I'm a dowsing rod."

"So, can you pick anything up?" Rei glared into the blonde's expectant expression for a moment, before closing her eyes and beginning to concentrate. She highly doubted that she would find anything. Her extra senses were rather weak, and… She stopped dead, as something did impinge on her awareness.

"A lot of power passed by here…" she muttered. "Mostly human, but there's… something dark, but… I don't know what."

"See, I knew you could do it!" Usagi cheered, before her expression turned downcast. "But… that's really not good, is it?"

"Yeah," Rei nodded, deciding not to explain that what she'd just done was ridiculously unlikely. Usagi probably wouldn't get it anyways. "Something definitely went bad here."

"Can we track it?" Luna asked.

Rei closed her eyes again. "I think so, but I'm not sure how far I'll get."

"Right," Usagi nodded. "Let's go!"

END.

While trying to get into character as Luna, and using the DIC variant of her mental voice, Weebee also had her refer to the enemies as the "Dark Kingdom." He's now pretty sure he pulled something in his mind.