Chapter 4

I won't bore you with the details of my birthday party; it isn't really what's important to this story anyways. I'll just say that I tried to enjoy myself, and that I smiled at all the right times, and that my Mom wasn't fooled by any of it. She asked me multiple times 'what was wrong' and I kept coming up with excuses. At least I was being quite honest when I told her that I didn't like being the center of attention, and that I was uncomfortable with all the fuss. The way she stared at Jace the whole night was unnerving; as if she suspected something else to happen now that I was eighteen. Of course she didn't know that it had happened over a year and a half earlier. For his part, Jace stayed polite, answering when he was asked questions, not asking any himself (except of me, if I needed a drink or a snack), no PDA's, which I'm certain kept my mother at bay. Only when the grownups (of which I suppose I was one now, but you know what I mean), were abandoned so that we could go out clubbing did I finally relax just a little. And only then, away from their eyes, did I take the Herondale ring off the concealed chain on my neck and finally slip it over the only finger it fit. Jace's smile was, as always, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen as he caught sight of it, coming over to take my hand finally and offer me a lengthy kiss. He was, it seemed, just as anxious as I about the following day, the way he seemed to cling to me, the way we clung together. There wasn't even the relief that we had passed the test of keeping our secret all these months, indeed, it felt just a little worse. Maryse, Robert, Luke and my mom knew that we planned on seeing them all again for brunch the following day; that idea had been Isabelle's. It gave her and Simon time to decorate the church; minimally decorate, first thing in the morning, and gave me time to get into my dress before anyone showed up to ruin the 'surprise'.

I spent the night alone with my anxieties, staring at the dress I had finally been able to uncover, hung over a dressing screen in my room at the Institute. My phone, laid on the bedside table rattled against the wood and I picked it up.

"I love you." The text message read.

"I love you too." I typed back.

"Still time to elope."

"Isabelle will kill us both."

"I think I can take her."

I laughed quietly to myself, envisioning the grin he must have had while writing that.

"I'll see you in the morning." I countered.

"At the altar?"

"Oh yes."

"Dream of me?"

"Always."

Somehow I actually managed to sleep a bit after that. Simon brought me a coffee and a roll in the morning, and as I hadn't had much alcohol the night before, I actually felt pretty decent, at least physically, my mind was turning over in circles and flips like a training routine in the rafters. I could tell he was still uneasy with the whole plan, and with me getting married. Not that he disliked Jace, not that he was in love with me any more, but just because breaking the rules still made him queasy, and this was breaking most every rule from the world we had grown up in.

"Have you thought about what you are going to tell your mother yet Clary?"

"Sort of."

"Which means?"

It meant that I'd played a dozen versions of a conversation over in my head for months, and that I knew that what would end up coming out of my mouth would still end up being gobble-dee-gook.

"I'll manage." I told him, not really believing it.

I was standing in front of the mirror watching Isabelle putting the final touches on my hair when there was a knock on the door. I took a deep breath and held it, knowing exactly whom it was. Izzy half-smiled at me knowing what I did about the visitor, and patted my shoulder before opening the door to my Mom and then slipping out past her. I caught a brief glimpse of confusion on my Mom's face, which quickly melted to shock as took in my dress and understood immediately what was going on.

"Clary? No." Her mouth dropped into a frown and her brows knit together.

I was not going to cry, I was not going to cry I repeated over in my head like a mantra.

"I love him Mom." I squeaked out, feeling every bit the naughty child and not the battle seasoned Shadowhunter adult that I was.

"So much so you would lie to me about something like this?"

"Because I knew how you'd react."

"How I'd react?"

"Yes, badly." I tried to keep my voice steady, even though my heart was pounding in my chest and my hands threatening to begin shaking.

"So my opinion means nothing?" The look in her eyes was just on the calm side of impending fury.

"Don't do this to me Mom." I had to turn away from her to calm myself, so I didn't say anything I was going to regret. "Why can't you just understand?" I asked the floor.

"Understand that you couldn't even tell me you were getting married?"

"Sort of like you not telling me who my real Dad was and that I was a Shadowhunter?" It slipped out.

"I did it to protect you."

"So did I."

She was silent.

"Mom, I love you, I don't want to disappoint you, but I want to be with him, forever. He loves me, I love him, we just want to start our lives together, put the ugliness that Valentine and Sebastian caused behind us finally. Can't you just tell me that I look beautiful, that you are happy for me that I've found someone honest and strong and devoted to me who would die for me?"

"You look beautiful Clary."

She couldn't say anything else, and we stared at each other, me holding back the sob that threatened my carefully applied mascara.

"Will you stay?" I whispered.

She nodded, dabbing at her own eyes. I guess it was the best I was going to get. I didn't see her leave, only Isabelle returning, mostly because she made no secret of it; hoping that I wouldn't be caught off guard if I needed to be alone.

"You okay Clary?" She asked.

"Yeah, that went about as well as I thought it was going to." I took a deep breath. "I suppose your parents know now as well?"

"Probably, but since no one else has stormed up here to stop us I'm going to guess that they are okay with it."

"Or they're just waiting in the church to forbid the whole thing."

"Then we'll just go to Alicante ourselves and do it there."

Practical Isabelle; just what I needed to hear then. I spun Jace's ring on my finger nervously.

"You aren't having second thoughts are you Clary?"

"Not a one." Of that I could assure her. I couldn't assure myself though that someone hadn't been sent to persuade Jace to walk away from this. The second soft knock on the door was quite ill timed to my liking. Once again, Isabelle went to answer it.

"Can I talk to Clary for a minute Isabelle?"

The voice was male, one I had known most all of my childhood, even if I hadn't truly known the nature of the man who possessed it. (Wow, I was not in a generous mood right then at all.)

"Come in Luke." I could see him reflected in the floor length mirror I stood in front of. His face didn't hold the same pursed shock as my Mom's had. In fact he wore a little smile on his.

"Oh Clary," He said, opening his arms to me. "You look so beautiful." I rushed into his embrace.

"Are you happy for me Luke?"

"Of course I am, and your Mom is too, she's just," he paused, "she really is happy, she's just hurt and maybe a little scared about losing you. You have to understand what she's been through."

"But Jace is a good man."

"I know he is Clary. But danger just seems to track him, or maybe the other way 'round." He laughed a little and I felt that strong chest hold me all the tighter. "She just wants to make sure you are safe, that's always been what she's wanted for you."

"I know she didn't want this life for me Luke, but I got pulled into it, and now I have a duty to it. And I really can't imagine doing anything else, with anyone else."

He just nodded. I'm sure he was thinking that I was just as stubborn as my Mom.

"You just about ready Clary?" Isabelle was peeking around the doorframe.

"Yeah, I am." I smiled.

"Mind if I walk you there?" Luke asked. I avoided gushing all over him and nodded with glistening eyes.

And so with the only dad I had ever known I descended in the elevator and walked over to where Jace was standing, waiting for me with Alex and Magnus at the altar. It wasn't a long processional or anything, in fact it was a semi circle, coming out from the elevator, which sat disguised behind the altar in the sacristy, across the west transept and to the sanctuary itself. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. Jace's golden eyes and bright smile were the only things that did. Luke leaned over to give me a gentle kiss on my cheek then he retreated to sit with my Mom.

"Please join hands." Magnus sounded so regal just then, not that he didn't always sound so proper when he spoke; it just seemed even better in the expanse of the church then. Jace grabbed up my hand and squeezed it tightly.

"As your hands are joined, so are your lives. Hands to hold each other, caress each other, support and love each other."

A terrible thud suddenly echoed through the church, originating from the large wooden doors at the very end of the Nave, interrupting Magnus and turning everyone's gaze to the street entrance. The doors swung open and a figure tumbled through to the marble floor, benediction of Raziel dying on his lips.

Oh Hell.