A/N: I finally got this out before the weekend! Now, before I move on I would just like to say thank you to all of you that has followed or favorite this story, it means the world me. A few months ago I was trying to figure out what I should do to make myself happy and make my life more exciting when the idea for this story popped into my head. I could have never imagined that something I would do would interest people so to all of you that reads this every time I post a new chapter, thank you so much! I already have ideas for another story but I will not start it until this one is finished and trust me, we have quite a long time until this story is finished because I love long stories. This past week my schedule has been so messed up and I got little to no sleep and by the time I get home from school, I'm absolutely exhausted and worn out. Usually I would try to write before or after I took my nap because I had to have one to catch up on my sleep and either time I wrote it, I was so out of it I couldn't think straight so this chapter seems a little off. ButteryHighlights, I'm sorry there was a lot more mistakes and I tried to catch them all I really wasn't paying attention and I was trying to get this done but I tried not to make it suck. I went back and rewrote most of it, it sucked that bad but it seems like it's missing something so you decide for yourself! By the way I know these are excuses but if you have school and a ton of homework, plus, you only got 4 hours of sleep the night before, yeah you don't feel like you're in paradise on cloud 9.

Clary POV:

"Raphael, get off me," I groaned as I woke up to excessive weight being pushed on me to only find out he decided to roll onto me in his sleep. "I let you sleep with me all the time and you never do this so why now? Get off me I can't breathe!" I smacked the side of his head with my palm but it did not make him budge."I know you're not asleep now! You gave it away! Just move please? I have to work in," I looked over at my clock, "three hours and I don't have time for this." He chuckled and looked at me with tired eyes.

"I'm admiring you from up here, what's wrong with that?" I shoved him, making him roll back to his side of the bed and scowled at him. "What did I do?" He asked me.

"You smothered me for your own enjoyment perfectly knowing I'm smaller than you and that would potentially suffocate me."

"No, I did it because I can and now I'm going to do this." He put his arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest, kissing me lightly on my lips. This didn't feel like enough to me so I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as I opened more to let his tongue attack my mouth. When we eventually pulled away, out of breath, I noticed he was halfway on top of me again but I couldn't remember when that happened.

"How did you get back on top of me?" I asked him, still trying to catch my breath.

"I'm not sure myself." He answered distractedly and stroked my cheek, choosing his next words. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" He kissed me lightly and pulled me to him again and I cuddled into him, my face levelled at his chest. I didn't need to answer since it was an open question but I answered anyway.

"You did nothing, I'm the one that doesn't deserve you." He squeezed me to him tighter to let me know that wasn't true. Actually we were both right in a way. To me, I didn't deserve Raphael because he's done so much for me over the past few years and I could only give him as much as my heart as I could. Jace had my heart now and that's something I'll never be able to get back. I couldn't help but compare his arms and his kisses to Jace. They were very similar, holding the same amount of love but something was missing and that was the electric spark I always felt when Jace touched me and that invisible pull I always felt around him. I didn't have that with Raphael but I didn't need to because I was content with my life and at this point I didn't need Jace to be happy. I had Izzy, Alec, Magnus, Kevin, and Raphael making me happy all the time as it is.

"I love you so much Clare-bear."

"I love you too Raphael," I said before falling asleep, once again, feeling more wanted than I have in a long time. I may not be able to love him like I love Jace but I can damn sure try.

*The Light of Destruction*

It was now six thirty in the morning and I was currently straightening my hair for work. Running behind has never happened to me before but when your boyfriend keeps distracting you, it is kind of hard to stay on track. As I finished straightening my hair, I couldn't help but thank the angel I didn't wear makeup or else I would never make it to work on time. When I walked back into the bedroom I looked over at Raphael watching TV with Kevin, making sure they were both ready to go. Luckily they were.

"Is Izzy ready?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Yeah," They both said together.

"Hey Clare-bear do you know where my phone is?" Raphael asked me.

"On the dresser." Raphael got up from the bed and treaded over the dresser, grabbed his phone, and kissed me wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me to him to comfort me. All morning I have been worried at how Jace will react to me and Raphael, his old best friend, dating his ex-girlfriend and son's mother.

Throughout their life, Jace and Raphael had been best friends. Jace had been closer to Raphael than Alec and they were pretty close. It was no secret that Raphael had a crush on me since we were in kindergarten but I didn't like him back. I never really liked anyone up until Isabelle's back to school party. Me and Jace never got along so it surprised everyone when we told them we hooked up at her party and from then on, got closer and closer. He was the perfect gentleman until he decided he didn't want to be just friends anymore and asked me out.

After all of this happened I never really looked on how this would affect Jace and Raphael but I knew I broke them apart and broke his heart. Raphael did soccer and tried his hardest not to get classes with Jace for a whole year until I finally told Raphael that his best friend needed him and this fight was stupid. Fortunately he opened his eyes and realized I was right but I knew he never completely forgave him and after he found out he broke my heart, I knew they would probably never be friends again. Sometimes I wish I never dated Jace in the first place but I knew it was hopeless to think so. We were drawn to each other like bees to honey and once you give in just the slightest bit, it's over.

"Ah, young love," I heard Kevin say as he hopped from the bed came up to us, hugging me from behind. He said something else but I couldn't hear him.

"Shouldn't we be the ones saying that to you?" I asked.

"Possibly," he answered.

"One minute he's fierce, the next minute he's silly, then he's cocky, then he's stubborn. He definitely takes after you on the personalty level."

"He takes after everyone, not just me. I see Magnus in him and I see Izzy in him and others, it's more of everyone." I answered.

"You're right. He does." They both let go of me and we all three walked out into the living room to collect Izzy and be on our way.

"Well if it isn't the love birds. Clary and Raphael sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g."

"Izzy, if you don't shut up I will punch that grin right off your face," I told her. She just smirked in response.

"Do you guys think Jace will be there? I sure hope so," Kevin said trying to change the subject. Izzy got up from her current seat on the couch and got on her knees in front of Kevin, looking at him dead in the eyes.

"If you've known Jace as long as I've known him, you would know he would definitely be there," Izzy told him. Kevin just grinned in response and walked down the hallway, everyone else behind him. On the subway, Izzy leaded over to me to whisper in my ear.

"What are you going to do?" She asked me. I just sighed in defeat and put my face in my hands.

"I really have no Idea, Izzy."

"Look Clary, we both know Jace so we know he doesn't ever give up. He may do some stupid things but he is absolutely not a traitor or the bad guy here. I can see where Raphael is coming from and that you're tired of having your heart broken and you are so scared it will happen again but do you really think he's trying to hurt you?" I let out a deep breath trying to processes what she just said.

"You're right in a lot of ways but I can never be too careful. Right now Raphael is the best for me and I think I'm just going to keep Jace on a tight leash until I get proof that he's still committed to me and that he loves me. I just need time." She just shook her head and walked off the subway after it came to a stop.

Raphael came up to me, "What was that about? You look stressed."

"It was nothing she just wanted to ask me how many days we were working this week since she forgot." I knew I was lying to him but I had to. I didn't feel like discussing the Jace subject for another hour. I need to just get ahold of myself and keep going. Just because he's here now, doesn't change the fact that he hasn't been here for the past five years.

"By the angel did she not get enough sleep last night? Who am I kidding this is Izzy." I laughed but it didn't sound like I gave it any effort. Earning a glance from Raphael, I just pretended like it never happened.

Jace POV:

"Oh, Jacey, sweetheart you know about the little young one. How does it feel? Fantastic? Fabulous? Formidable? I'm stressing over here not knowing what you're feeling. Stop talking and tell me already!" Magnus said while filing his nails. What guy files their nails? Who am I kidding this is Magnus for the angels sake.

"Magnus, sweetheart," I said trying to sound as gay as I could. "It was just so amazing I could almost cry. I was just wanting to cuddle with him so hard and I knew I hearts flying out of my eyes."

"God pansycake did you eat my glitter? Are you doing okay? I don't really care as long as you don't hurt Clary. Chairman Meow and I will hunt you down if you do."

"Your cat won't do anything to me."

"Really? Why don't we get him to cuddle with you again and add to that nice scar from last time?"

"Okay, you two shut up," Alec finally decided to speak up. "The important thing about all this is you, Jace, need to get your head on straight because if you walk away from either of them this time, I will personally kill you."

"Oh come on Alec, we all know you're too much of a sissy to even hurt a fly."

"Do I look like I'm fucking kidding to you?" He said with a tone and a look I've never seen before. His eyes said it all though, he's not kidding.

"Oh my God, Jace finally got his panties on straight by the gay boy himself. Never thought you'd be able to do it Allie."

"Listen Magnus, he may be able to hurt me but you never could. Look at you, you're knitting a pink scarf for the Angels sake!"

"Why don't you come a little closer, lover boy, and I'll show you what a needle feels like up your ass."

"I bet you get things like that up yours often, Maggie."

He narrowed his eyes at me, "What did I tell you about calling me that."

"ENOUGH!" Alec yelled. "Will you two ever stop?"

"No," We chorused.

"Well you better stop now because we need to leave. It's already eight so Clary should be there by now." With the way he got up and walked out of the room, it was enough for me and Magnus to know that we needed to follow him, silently. The whole trip there all I could think of was Clary and her beautiful red hair, gorgeous smile, and how perfect she was. No one would ever understand how much I love her and how much I look forward to calling her mine again. Just seeing Kevin yesterday and seeing a mini me on another person ignited a feeling deep inside me I've never felt before. I was insanely nervous about meeting him but as soon as I did, it felt normal to me, like I've been doing this all along. Spending time with my beautiful son.

Approaching Taki's, I could see the sea of people inside, waiting to be served their breakfast. I suddenly felt really bad for Clary and Izzy having to work breakfast and rush hour. Alec told me there was a room in the back that everyone hung out in so we started towards there. I didn't see Clary or Izzy when we were walking through so I just figured they were busy with other things. Kevin was sitting on the couch in a spacious room that had a few chairs and a huge tv with quite a few expensive gaming systems. Now I understood why Kevin didn't complain about coming here, it was boy heaven.

"Jace! You came!" Kevin exclaimed while coming over to me and giving me a hug, the best he could. I made it a little easier and lifted him up into my arms, not knowing why I did it in the first place but it made it easier for him to hug me better. After a moments decision, I decided to lift him up and throw him in the air, catching him before he hit the ground. He giggled in excitement, obviously enjoying that I was playing with him.

"That was fun!" He said after he was safely on the ground again.

"You think so squirt?"

"Yeah!" He went over to a pile of comics and brought one over to me.

"This is mine and Simon's collection. We love comics. Do you like comics Jace?" I shook me head in response.

"No, I never really liked them but I know your mommy did."

"Yeah, that's why she and Simon are best friends. He's mommy's age but he's like my big brother and always buys me cool things." Simon? I was going to have to meet him.

"Are we talking about the gamer freak with glasses and dull complexion? That boy could use some glitter," Magnus said.

"Hey! Don't make fun of him! He's not dull! If you think he is then you think I am and you wouldn't want to make fun of me now would ya?"

"Kevin, you're a boy. When the time is right, you will be humiliated. Trust me."

"Okay, well we better be on our way, bye Kevin, Jace," Alec said with a nod of his head and dragged Magnus out of the restaurant. Well that was odd.

"So who is Simon?" I decided to ask him.

"That's my big brother and he's Izzy's boyfriend." I raised one of my eye brows.

"Really?" I didn't want to offend him so I left the next part of my question to myself. Why would she date a nerd? They really weren't her type but I guess I didn't know anymore.

"So what are we going to do today, squirt?" I finally asked.

"I have the whole day planned out! We can play on the Xbox and then read some comics and then-" Clary and Raphael walked in the room, more like tripped, looking flushed and out of breath. They immediately pulled away from each other and stood there awkwardly, staring at the ground like they've been caught doing something bad. Kevin had a knowing look on his face and cockily walked up to Raphael.

"Let's go bad boy and leave these two alone for a moment." I almost laughed at Kevin dragging him out of the room but something held me back. After a few moments Clary finally looked up at me and stared into my eyes.

"You came," she said.

I smiled, "Of course I came, that's my son and I really wanted to see you." She looked down at the floor again and started playing with her hands.

"Please stop saying that." Confused, I walked up to her, lifting her chin with my hand.

"Stop saying what?" I asked her.

"You know what I'm talking about Jace! Stop saying things you don't mean. I know you're telling me you want to see me to be cruel so just stop. I know you know how much it breaks me that you say things like that."

"Clary how could you say that? After all these years of suffering and pain from losing you and you accuse me of not loving you anymore? I think my heart begs to differ." I looked in her eyes with as much truth as I could possibly conjure so she would possibly be able to believe me but as I was looking at her hair, I noticed something dark on her neck. "What is this?" I asked her. I pulled her hair back so I could look at it a little better. At first it just looked like a bruise but upon further inspection, I noticed it was much more.

"That's a hickey isn't it?" My blood starting boiling knowing someone had her in their arms and it wasn't me.

"What? Dammit," She said reaching for her neck and holding her breath. "This was what I needed to talk to you about."

"Oh really? So I tell you after all these years that I love you too. I try to make you see that I really do and then you go off to someone else? Who is it Clary? Who could possibly try to give you all that I gave you?"

"Raphael." She whispered almost too quiet that I almost couldn't hear her. That made my whole body go rigid. I knew it. How was I so stupid? The whole time Clary and I were dating in high school he was always jealous. I knew he was jealous. He has had a crush on her since elementary school but never did anything about it. I never liked her, at least I thought I didn't and when I found out I felt more than just friendly towards her, I knew it would cause problems and apparently it still is.

"How long?" I finally decided to ask.

"Since last night." I wanted to ask why but I just couldn't form another word, much less another sentence. My heart was slowing, crumbling at the realization that I probably won't be able to ever have her again. After I backed away from her and took a few breaths I could finally find my voice again, knowing what I needed to do.

"Good, I'm happy for you both." This seemed to surprise her and it surprised me too but it was the truth. I knew I could never be it for her anymore and that I broke our relationship beyond repair so why try to fight for something that's broken?

"I'll always still be here and you know that Clary. You've always known I never back down and this time I was being serious. Kevin will be in my life now and that's how it's always going to stay." She looked up at me with a look in her eyes that was regret? No that can't be it.

"Thank you," she said before retreating out the door. At the last moment though she turned around, "You will always have a piece of my heart Jace and I think we both know that. That's just something I can never have back." she waked out the door before I could shake my head or say anything else. She was right, I did have her heart and she just waked away with mine.

Kevin choose that moment to walk in and come up to me, looking up into my eyes. He looked at me not with pity, but with understanding which made me wonder how much of the conversation he heard.

"Si aveugle," he said. I knew it was French but I didn't know the language very well. It surprised me that he knew the language but I was too worn out to acknowledge it. He didn't say another word, just dragged me over to the TV, turned on the Xbox, and handed me a controller. It was almost as if he knew exactly what I needed and the gesture made me smile.

I knew I would heal from this because I had Kevin and right now, he was all I needed. Yes, now I would never be able to be the same. I was going to sleep with girls, get drunk, and be a bastard to everyone but not around my son. He needed a father to look up to and right now, I could save that part of me for later. I could slowly feel myself breaking into a million pieces and I prayed to the angel that I wouldn't break down for the rest of the day.

A/N: I want honest opinions on this, what was it missing? Please review or PM me to tell me because it's eating me like a bug. Since this chapter was horrible and short, I will take my time on the next one and make it long and much better because you guys deserve it. Tomorrow I will let this become all I think about and I will write until I pass out, which I'm about to do as I'm writing this author note.

Greygirl2358: Your reviews always make me laugh nonstop. Yes I made him creepy but in The Mortal Instruments he's really Johnathan and we don't really know how Sebastian is supposed to be so I tied in Johnathan's personality with Sebastian's face because in the books, Johnathan seems like a crack head and he scares the crap out of me. No joke. I know you're going to review so might as well at least thank me for not putting him in this chapter, I did it for you! I'm kidding you don't have to thank me because we get a long POV from him in the next chapter :D

I'm going to bed so I can be ready and try to make it up to you all with the next chapter! I love you guys and goodnight!

~DarkMeadows1026