Moshi-chan: Oh dear, I can't think of which story to write for next... but I felt this one was slightly neglected so I'd do a sort of promotion chappie for Christmas.

Urahara: She doesn't own us~

Moshi-chan: Hence FANfiction.

"We're gonna take a little break for you reviewers. But between you and me, we might get him to do all three things~" Urahara told the audience.

"HEY! I heard that!" Gin may have sounded pissed off but you could tell he was shaking.

"So as a promotion chapter, we're going to watch some videos." Yoruichi revealed a small remote in her hand.

Number 1: Phone Call from the Dead

Ring ring, ring ring. Byakuya Kuchiki picked up the ringing phone. "Hello?" "I-it's me, Byakuya-sama." "Hisana!? But how?" "I can because dead people can do things, darling. Um, I sent a parcel to you a few days ago... It should be here by now." "Wait a second, my dear. I'll go check." At that moment, Renji walked in with a small parcel in hand. "Hey taichou, got this parcel in the mail today. It's from your wife." Byakuya signalled for him to be quiet and resumed the conversation with Hisana. "Yes dear? Y-you want me to open it now? O-ok..." Byakuya opened the parcel to find

…

…

…

…

… a pair of duckie boxers.

"W-w-w-w-what do you want me to do with these!?" Byakuya was uncharacteristically flustered while Renji was snorting milk.

…

…

…

…

"I want you to wear them outside your shikahushō for a week. Toodles~" The phone hung up.

"This is going to be a loooooooooong week." Renji was still snorting milk.

"SHUT UP!"

Number 2: Court Trial in Las Noches

"Court is now in session. All rise." Aizen acted the part of judge in the newly finished courtroom. Gin was next to him, as court recorder and Tōsen as the bailiff. "Today is the trial of Ulquiorra Cifer for the theft and murder of Grimmjow Jaegerjacques' catnip supply. Are the prosecution and defence ready?" "The defence is ready, Your Honour." Tesra Lindrocruz had taken the defence's bench, with Tia Harribel as co-counsel. "The prosecution has been ready for a while, Your Honour. Wake UP, Starrk!" Aaroniero Arruruerie and Coyote Starrk were in the prosecution. "Now, may the prosecution give us its opening statement?" Aizen once again suppressed his spiritual pressure to shut up Nnoitra in the gallery. "The prosecution has decisive evidence the defendant is guilty." Starrk had woken up and wanted to get this trial over and done with. "Oh? What would that be?" Aizen was intrigued. "This videotape." Starrk held up an obviously forged videotape. "Oh? Then I'm ready to give my verdict."

"OBJECTION! The def-" Tesra did not like this.

"Overruled. Ulquiorra, you are hereby declared..."

GUILTY.

"I hate my job."

"Be happy it isn't full-time."

Number 3: Gucci Whistles

"Taicho – u~ Can I pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease have this?" Rangiku had (once again) dragged her captain on one of her lengthy shopping trips. "What is it?" "It's a Gucci whistle!" Tōshiro's brain exploded from the impossibility.

"Taichou?"

(This bloodsplatter reminds me of a puzzle...)

Number 4: Shopping

"Sasakibe-san. Here's my shopping list for this week." Captain General Yamamoto gave Sasakibe a crumpled piece of paper. There was one thing differing from the usual: a Big Soul from McSouls. The usual things would not register well with most people (Hint: what Lisa Yadomaru reads).

(at McSouls)

"Could I please order a Big Soul?"

"Sasakibe! I thought I told you no fast food!" A dietitian walked up to the Vice Captain General.

"It's not fo-"

"I don't care!"

"Sasakibe! You're supposed to be part of the Vegetarian club!" A bunch of vegetarians stormed towards the now flustered Sasakibe.

"I told you, it's not fo-"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! OMG IS THAT SASAKIBE-SAMA? LET'S GO, GIRLS!" Fangirls had found their target and were now closing in on him. Luckily, Sasakibe got his Big Soul and now could make a run for it. Unfortunately, the now slightly large mob had caught up to him.

Captain General Yamamoto got his slightly blood-splattered McSoul and Sasakibe got a one-way ticket into intensive care.

"Let me do a bet with you, wonderful viewers!" Urahara adressed the now screaming fangirls. "I bet my hat this wonderful author will make Gin do absolutely EVERYTHING Lau-chan has to offer."

"Ehehehe..." Yoruichi looked demonic, "The three fangirls/boys who give us the next truth, dare or torture will win a choice of one of these elusive items: Urahara's hat, a Gin plushie and Kon!"

(backstage)

"I AM NOT AN ITEM!" Kon was trying to break free of his restraints that were Ichigo and Ishida.

(back onstage)

"Judgement will be conducted by the wonderful author. Comments, anyone?" Yoruichi looked at a now steaming Urahara.

"DAMN MANAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

And there you have it. Shout out if you get the the bloodsplatter line in brackets, Yamamoto-taichou's usual weekly shopping and the "I'm not an item" line.

Number 1: I've had this idea for aaaaaaaaaaaaaages, it's that I just thought of targeting Byaku-chan. And Renji snorting milk.

Number 2: A really bad parody of Ace Attorney, and Tesra is Phoenix, by the way. Points for guessing who Tia is supposed to be...

Number 3: I'm overseas right now, and apparently whistles are so popular, even Gucci makes them (true story).

Number 4: McSouls should be an obvious parody. And so should the Big Soul. Captain General Yamamoto's interests are merely pure speculation, and so is Sasakibe's private business!

You heard them, it's Urahara's hat, a Gin plushie or Kon! The next truth, dare or torture wins one of the three! (He's doing all of them, by the way. I've decided.) One entry ONLY! EDIT: Next guests shall be Shinji and France from Hetalia!

Ciao~