Eustass "Captain" Kid had had many terrible hangovers during his time as a pirate and even way before he made this ultimately life-changing career choice. This one was, decidedly, one of the worst ones he had had in a while.
Kid felt vaguely disoriented, and the need to piss was what managed to get his ass up from his bed. Ugh. The waves of dizziness passed once he came back from the bathroom, but the taste of vomit in his mouth hadn't left despite Kid brushing his teeth — uncharacteristic as it was, but fuck if he felt like having the taste of barf linger in his mouth the whole day.
Besides, those annoying bastards Hawkins and Apoo were visiting.
Maybe he shouldn't have brushed his teeth. Let the morons suffer from Kid's bad morning breath.
Killer was already having breakfast by the time Kid sauntered to the kitchen. Hawkins and Apoo weren't there, probably either sleeping or reading cards (mostly Hawkins, that creep), nor were their crews.
Kid plopped down, nodding at Killer, and picked up the folded newspaper. The movement seemed to attract Killer's attention, and the currently unmasked man looked at Kid with something that seemed to be expectant curiosity.
Kid raised an eyebrow, not saying a word yet as he wasn't yet sure whether he would vomit or not, and lowered his head as he glanced through the headlines of the day.
The front page was usually the most revealing one — no shit — and this time, too, it managed to grab all of Kid's attention.
The silence surrounding Killer and Kid suddenly gained a lot more weight as Kid nearly ripped the paper apart as his reflex was to grip the damn thing harder while he tried to make out whether he was hallucinating or not.
"What the fuck is this insanity?" he asked out loud, his deep voice trembling with confusion and a tad bit of surprised laughter. What the fuck. It wasn't April 1st just yet, morons. Or was it? "What day is it now, Killer?"
"Not April, no," Killer replied quietly, nodding towards the paper. "From what I can tell, it seems to be the truth… as absurd as it seems at first."
"Absurd?" Kid repeated, the taste of something bitter returning to his lips. Good thing he hadn't tried to eat anything yet; he was sure he'd throw it all up now that he had seen the news. "More like fucking insane." Even that was putting it lightly, in Kid's opinion, but his head throbbed too hard for him to try a more eloquent way of expressing the weirdness of the headline his eyes were glued on.
SURGEON OF DEATH AND WHITE CHASER TO JOIN TOGETHER IN HOLY MATRIMONY, the newspaper headline screamed, and Kid reread it at least five times before he was sure he was indeed not seeing things.
"They call it it the Ultimate Marriage of Alliance," Killer added, and he seemed almost amused by the name. Kid wasn't sure if he shared his first mate's sentiments, though… though the name was fucking hilarious, just like the name Marines had graced Trafalgar with. Surgeon of Death, yeah right.
Then again, Kid had once been called the Walking Magnet, which was infinitely more stupid.
The paper presented the information clearly and concisely, and even the location of the wedding was printed there; how stupid, Kid thought irritably, but then again it wasn't any of his business if Trafalgar and others got themselves into trouble.
But what Kid wanted to do was to be there to laugh at Trafalgar's face — if this shit was true in the first place.
Kid hummed. There was a photo of Trafalgar underneath the headline — the former Warlord's expression made it seem like he had been through a hurricane. Well… there was that stupid saying… that love was a hurricane.
Kid would have snorted if the thought hadn't been so fucking weird. Trafalgar? Smoker? What the fuck was this, a well-orchestrated prank gone wrong?
marriage of alliance
chap. 5
ghosts&kids
"Killer," he started slowly, "we'll set off this afternoon." He paused, an evil grin spreading to his lips. "Let's drag Hawkins and Apoo with us."
Killer sighed, finishing up his meal and not particularly surprised by Kid's whim. "Don't do anything stupid. White Hunter is a Vice Admiral, after all."
"What, as if Trafalgar would let his hubby attack me out of the blue," Kid guffawed.
"I think he would be the one to set him free when he sees you, Kid."
"Who the fuck cares? I'm still going."
"Yeah, yeah, got it."
…
Law felt like he was slowly suffocating. The days had been hell since he had agreed to the wedding, and he wasn't entirely sure why he had been glad to change Doflamingo to this.
Watching Straw Hat bounce around in ecstacy had its benefits — most of them being that he wasn't bothering Law alone but also Smoker — but Law would much rather sail forward the New World with his own crew.
But mostly— mostly Law had been busy with planning and outlining and talking about his wedding dress. It was a wordless agreement between everyone that Law would be the bride, and Law wished… he wished for some sanity and maybe someone to realize that a dress wasn't necessary for a wedding between two more-or-less non-straight men.
Captain Tashigi, for all that was worth, had been supportive, if not very hungover most of the time, of the process, but Law could hear her distressed mumbles that consisted of 'eat shit, Smoker-san, this is not what I joined Marines for' and 'Trafalgar Law must be destroyed'.
Law wasn't particularly concerned by the last one, since he doubted he'd survive this ordeal as a sane man, anyway.
"So," Brook sat beside Law, "congratulations on your marriage, Trafalgar-san."
"I'm not married yet, Bone-ya," Law sighed out for the umpteenth time, leaning his cheek against the palm of his hand as he watched the hall slowly being turned into something fitting for the wedding. Franky, the cyborg and the carpenter, was in charge of the decorations with Nico Robin, and the result… well, Law wasn't sure how the hall would look after they were done.
This was going to be a disaster, his gut feeling said.
"Yohohoho!" Brook laughed, the bones quivering with his mirth, and while Law still wasn't used to walking skeletons, this feat could hardly deter him at this point. "But you will, and that is why we have all gathered here, no?" Law couldn't deny that statement, so he remained motionless on his eat.
"Supposedly ," Law replied at length, closing his eyes as someone dropped the stepdladder from their hands. "Aren't you supposed to compose the songs for the wedding party, Bone-ya?"
"Indeed, I am," Brook replied as he sipped at his tea that Law hadn't noticed before. (Where did it come from? Where did it go? Where did Cotton Eye Joe go to?) "But there is something I wished to discuss with you first."
"If it's about the music, I don't particularly care," Law murmured, "I doubt anything tecno would be allowed at a wedding, anyway."
"Oh, it's nothing of the sort," Brook waved his bony hand (literally) and set the cup down. "Trafalgar-san, you… ah, know about how my soul can leave this body of mine, right?"
"I belive someone mentioned it at Punk Hazard, yes," Law said, lifting an eyebrow as he wonded mutedly where this was going. Brook yohoho-hoed a soft laughter.
"Well, the thing is," Brook murmured, "I did it again, and I met… quite… intriguing people… or ghosts, I suppose! It was all rather terrifying for my wee heart! Oh, wait, I don't have any left…"
"The point, Bone-ya?" Law interjected, eyelids halfway down as he suppressed a yawn. It was still quite early, too early to be having casual chitchat.
"Well," Brook made a vague gesture with his hand to somewhere behind them, "the… spirits followed me, you see, when they found out I was going to attend to a wedding. They insisted to come and…"
Chills rose up Law's back, a premonition of sorts, as he turned his head slightly, now alarmed to the presences of people behind Brook and himself.
"Law," all too familiar but a little distorted voice began, and Law felt himself pale, "how dare you not invite me to your wedding, you brat."
Law struggled to find the words as he stared at the pale form of someone he still loved dearly and whose death had haunted him all this time. "…Cora-san?"
Corazon's disapproving face split into a wide grin, and Law swallowed thickly as he stared at the see-through ghost of his old caretaker. Holy shit. Holy shit, Law's mind didn't seem to be able to come up with anything else, and so he simply stared, wide-eyed, at the flickering ghost.
"I'm not— there's a mistake," Law somehow managed to grumble out, but Brook interjected with a cheerful laughter.
"But Trafalgar-san, you already agreed to it! Don't go breaking the Vice Admiral Smoker-san's heart now!"
The other ghost, a relatively tall young man with freckles scattered over his face, perked up at the mention of Smoker. "Seriously? It's true? Smoker's getting married?"
Ah, Law recognized the face… Fire Fist Ace, Straw Hat's elder brother, the son of Gold Roger, yadda yadda ya..
Law pursed his lips. "Yes. Apparently we are."
"Oh man," Ace's grin widened as he laughed obnoxiously loudly, turning gazes with the loud guffaw. "Oh man, I can't believe that guy is getting married. This was so worth trasncending all those dimensions for. Damn. I'm ghosting out over to Smoker now, 'kay? You have my blessings!"
Corazon, Law and Brook watched as the ghost of the freckled man floated over to where the sleep-deprived Smoker was possibly reconsidering his decisions regarding life or, well, perhaps considering who to sent invitations to.
Luffy's scream of "FRECKLED JESUS" didn't go unnoticed, and Law smiled mildly at the scene of Luffy trying to launch himself at Ace.
"SO," Brook declared after the scene had died, standing up, "it is time for me to practice the wedding march, yohohoho!"
Law was left alone with Corazon's ghost, who overed him like a judgmental parent. "I thought you hated Marines, Law," Corazon commented, and Law could hear the hurt. He pretty much felt it, too, and he gave Cora a pleading look.
"Look, I didn't mean for this to happen," he started, voice thick as he suppressed his emotions as well as he could, "this is just a huge mistake—"
"And to think you proclaimed you'd marry me one day!" Corazon's wail interrupted Law, whose mouth just fell open at the words that left Cora's ghostly lips.
"I never said that!" Law denied, heat gathering on his face. "Shut up!"
"No, no, I recall it as though it was yesterday— you were flushed, curled up in a blanket, and—"
"Yeah, I had a fever, Cora-san, and I was delirious!"
"Ha, you didn't deny it!" Cora-san laughed merrily, and for a moment, so did Law. This was fucking strange, but strange things happened in the New World and seas in general, and this was actually a good kind of strange, if not for the fact that—
"But, Law, seriously — this guy looks like a punk."
"Smoker-ya?" Law turned his gaze to the direction Corazon — Rocinante — was glaring at, and he saw Smoker's unimpressed face stare at Ace's ghost, who was very animatedly throwing some monologue at Smoker.
"What's up with that honorific, Law?" Corazon wondered, still evil-eyeing Smoker. "But anyway. Dude looks like a punk. Don't trust the guy. Don't marry someone you don't know, Law."
"Cora-san, this is my life."
"When did you become such a rebel?" Corazon sighed out as he theatrically tripped over his ghost-feet, and Law simply stared at the sight with blank eyes. Things really hadn't changed at all since the last time, had they?
…
Hawkins's impassive face was really starting to annoy the living hell out of Kid.
"This is quite the detour on our quest, Eustass Kid," Basil Hawkins murmured, the eyebrows twitching between a frown and a blank expression.
"Shut up. You're curious too, assface. Now let's get this show on the road, fucktards."
Killer sighed. Not for the first time during the time it took to reach the island the wedding would take place on. "Kid, just…" He wouldn't tell Kid to play nice, because that never fucking worked, but still. "Just don't destroy the goddamn island if you can help it."
"Is this jealousy in the air?" Apoo's ear-shattering voice rang out. (Ear-shattering for Kid, musical to others.)
"Fuck you, guys! I just want to find out what the fuck's going on, and you can't lie and say you're not interested in how in the lowest realm of hell this came to be—"
"Not in the least," Basil murmured in boredom.
"Not at all," Apoo agreed.
"Fuck off," Kid grunted.
"Let's just disembark for now, you big children," Killer grunted and turned on his heels to lower the anchor because these idiots couldn't do anything on their own.
…
Tashigi had gone off to take a walk and to remove herself from the madness that went on at the sole building Cyborg Franky had built for the sake of the wedding. God, she was exhausted, but mostly she was very, very hungover, and her head felt like a battle field.
It was just her luck to come across three captains of the Worst Generation — and one first mate that was a part of that same Generation — but at this point of time, she couldn't care if Blackbeard himself gave to ruin shit up.
"Eustass 'Captain' Kid," she murmured out of her memory of seeing his ugly face on the front page of the newspaper. "What a coincidence."
Kid tilted his head, clearly trying to remember if he had seen her before. Tashigi's frown deepened. They had, in fact, met in battle before, and the fact he couldn't remember made her headache grow stronger. Insulting.
"Yeah," Kid agreed eventually, "but then again, we're both here for the Ultimate Marriage of Alliance, huh?" The name came out mockingly from Kid's lips, and Tashigi sneered in response.
"I didn't think Trafalgar had invited you," she commented with some decency as she bit back the hangover-induced insults that lay in the back of her mouth, ready to be used. "I mean, the bridesmaid has already been chosen."
Kid's lips curled down into an ugly sneer as Apoo let out a loud guffaw. "Wow, this chick knows how to talk!"
Even Hawkins had to suppress his own smile as he hid his face behind his cards.
Chances of these two fighting… 69%… chances of copulating in a closet… 96%.
Hawkins smiled mildly as he placed his cards back into his pocket, eyes fleetingly gazing at Kid and Tashigi before he trudged forward. "If you have time to argue, then you might as well stay while I go to see how things are."
Kid gritted his teeth, eyes narrow as he waltzed past Tashigi, annoyance radiating off of him.
Killer whistled quietly. "That was a first."