I do not own kuroshitsuji.

Immature love says: I love you because I need you. Mature love says I need you because I love you.

-Erich Fromm

Ch.9

Elizabeth slowly came to. The first thing she realized was that she was not dead. Ha, what a surprise. She wasn't sure wether to be happy or sad. She couldn't even commit suicide right. The second thing she realized was that she was not in her own bed. She was in her bed at the Phantomhive manor. The last thing was that her engagement ring was once again situated snugly on her finger. She wanted to cry, wether tears of sadness or happiness she didn't know, but didn't have the strength. The gauzy curtains were drawn over the window. Beautiful rays of sunlight cut through the room and bounced off of the mirror. Dust particles hung in the air. It almost seemed magical. All of her things were back on the dresser and she imagined in the closet as well. A bouquet of flowers was on the nightstand. Her head ached and her chest burned. She could barely take a breath without coughing. She couldn't sit up because she was too weak so Mey-Rin would have to push on her back and lean her head forward. She had the urge to throw up but suppressed it. She would lay back down and fall asleep again. She was occasionally awakened to have broth spoonfed to her or to have Mey-Rin help her to the bathroom. She never saw her family, only Mey-Rin. Whenever she was awakened it was usually dark outside or sunny and she had no idea how long she had been asleep or what time it was.

It felt like days later, but she was finally strong enough to stand on her own. She could walk, but only a few steps without hanging onto someone. Elizabeth still felt weak.

"Meyrin, ever since I've been in here, I've only seen you. Where is everyone? Where's my family and the other servants." She didn't mention Ciel.

"Your family have been here, but you were sleep and they asked me not to wake you. Edward usually waited outside because he didn't want to see you in this state. The other servants were told not to help... Ciel only wanted a woman to take care of you."

That made sense. She was only partly dressed and it would have been awkward for her if she was awake. Elizabeth's hair hung freely around her even though it was greasy. The short nightdress she wore hung strangely off of her. In the mirror, she could tell that she had lost a considerable amount of weight. Her cheeks were slightly gaunt and her arms and legs were thinner. When she lifted the dress a bit she could sort of see her ribs.

"How long have I been out of it Mey-Rin?"

"Um, around a week and a half I would suppose."

Elizabeth didn't say anything.

"Lady, Elizabeth. Ciel told me that when you were ready. He wanted to talk to you."

"Did he?"

"Yes mam."

"Then I want to talk to him now. Could you help me get dressed?"

"Of course."

They spent the next hour getting Elizabeth sparkly clean, doing her hair and makeup and picking out an outfit. She decided on a pastel pink dress with a black velvet bow around the waist. It had to be pulled tighter because she was so thin now. Once dressed, she took Mey-Rin's arm and walked out of the room. The first thing that hit her was the cold. She was freezing. It couldn't have been that cold in the house?

"Mey-Rin, could you get my shawl? I'm freezing."

"Of course."

She returned with Elizabeth's matching shaw and draped it over her shoulders. They walked arm and arm to Ciel's office, pausing at the door. Elizabeth wasn't sure how she felt about this or what she would say when she saw him. She took a deep breath and walked into the room. Her family were all sitting in chairs and the couches talking amongst themselves. They got silent immediately and looked up at her. Ciel had his head down, writing something on the desk and Sebastian was leaning over his shoulder pointing at different parts of the paper. Mey-Rin cleared her throat and Ciel and Sebastian both looked up. What Elizabeth saw shocked her. Ciel's face wasn't his normal face. His lip was badly busted. His jaws and chin had several horrible bruises. He had a black eye under his usual eyepatch and the arm he wasn't writing with was in a sling. All anger in her evaporated. How could she be angry when he was so hurt?

Everyone started talking at once and rushing toward her. It made her head hurt. She held up her hand and everything halted.

" I would like everyone to leave please, except for Ciel and Sebastian please. I want to talk to him alone."

They hesitated but heeded her demands. Mey-Rin led her to a chair and once Elizabeth was situated she left. Ciel rose with difficulty and a bit of Sebastian's help, limped to the seat across from Lizzy and took a seat. Neither of them spoke.

"You're so thin Lizzy." Ciel whispered.

"And you look like you've been in a fight, Ciel."

She paused," Oh my god! Did Edward do that?"

Ciel nodded," It's the least that I deserve for... for what I did and for what followed."

"And Sebastian just let that happen?"

"I told him to."

She looked at Sebastian and he nodded. There was another long pause until Ciel spoke. His voice was choked as he held back a sob.

"I should never have hit you Lizzy. I should never have said all of those awful things to you. I shouldn't have let you leave. I was wrong, so wrong, and this is all my fault. You could have died. I drove you to that. I'm so sorry Lizzy."

Elizabeth sat staring at him. His eyes were huge, begging for forgiveness," Il forgive you Ciel, if you forgive me."

"For what. What did you do?"

"I ran away. Tried to drown myself. Caused you these injuries. It was all very irrational. Even Sebastian told me that." She stood and sort of paced around the room."

"I thought I could run away from my problems. Just throw everything away without thinking of the consequences. I even went to my favorite spot because that's where I wanted to end it all. I treated this like it was some kind of game. In life there are no game overs, no try agains. I was stupid Ciel and this was all my fault."

As if having an epiphany she turned to Ciel. She tripped over the carpet and almost fell. Ciel tried to get out of his seat to help but Sebastian caught her first and helped her back to her seat.

"How did you know where to find me?"

"You told me one day, when we went ice skating that it was your favorite place. I guess I never forgot, love."

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