Albany, New York
August, 1990
She knew it was a bad idea from the start- she and roller coasters had never gotten along. She looked into the camera mounted beside her.
"Garry, I can't do this."
"Cut!"
He stalked across the platform toward her.
"What the hell's the matter?"
She glared up at him, "This isn't working for me!"
"Cee Cee you damn well better make it work for you or we'll have wasted the whole fucking day. We're about to lose the sun as it is. So just do the damn scene and do it now- one take."
"One take, my ass," she mumbled just low enough that he couldn't hear her as he turned to leave.
Cee Cee looked at the track in front of her.
Shit!
A wave of nausea swept over her.
He turned back to her once more.
No doubt noting that you're looking a little more green around the gills than usual.
"Cee Cee, it took us all day to get this set up and you are not going to fuck it up, do you understand me?," he shouted at her.
Well, we'll just see about that, won't we?
"Yeah, yeah, Garry, I understand. But, you're making a big-assed mistake."
"Alright, let's start this damned thing. Move it people- and action!"
The ride lurched forward and Cee Cee froze. Then the blood drained from her face as the car started up to the top of the first climb.
Oh well, if asshole wants to have puke all over his new fangled camera, that's just fine by you.
She was getting lightheaded.
Why are you doing this? All you had to do was tell him earlier and we could've done it against a blue screen- sitting still and looking scared shitless. To hell with what people would've thought.
She'd always been afraid of heights and the last time she'd ridden a roller coaster was when she was eleven years old with Hillary in Atlantic City. That was all she needed to tell them, she could've just skipped the rest: that she'd made it over the first dip, then leaned out of the car and puked her guts out over the side. Hillary had put her arm around her and made her look away by pressing her face into the newly laundered dress Hill had been wearing. It was the only way to keep Cee Cee from tossing her cookies again. Hillary's dress had been ruined, but Cee Cee had been grateful.
Even now she remembered shivering with fear against the Downey smell of Hillary's sundress- and it brought on a fresh wave of nausea. Thirty years ago, she'd gotten off the ride with Hill's help- pale, trembling and crying. Hill had made it alright then, but Hill was gone now. What the hell could she do?
Her throat constricted.
Shit! Why do you have to be so damned childish?
She grabbed at the railing and held on until her knuckles turned white. She was shaking, little tremors going all through her body. Her lower lip was trembling too. And if that weren't enough, now her stomach had started to churn.
If asshole wants the shot of a lifetime, he's going to get it "Cee Cee Bloom puking her guts out all over God's creation".
Film at 11:00.
The car crested the first peak, then went down, straight down. Cee Cee's stomach stayed at the top. She meant to scream "Cut", but "Shit" came out instead- along with her lunch, all over Garry's new camera.
Then, she fell back against the seat and passed out cold.
"Ms. Bloom? Ms. Bloom?"
Cee Cee opened her swollen eyes and looked into the face of a young stagehand.
"Are you alright?", he said.
"You mean besides being covered from head to toe in one of my more disgusting bodily fluids? Yeah, I guess so."
"You still look great to me."
She rolled her eyes at him.
Oh please. Not another little boy who wants to get into Cee Cee Bloom's bloomers.
"You must be starved for live entertainment, kid."
"Here, let me help you out of that thing, Cee Cee." He smiled a doofey smile and held out his hand.
"Ms. Bloom.", she said, "And I don't need any of your frigging help, asshole!"
She climbed shakily out of the car and staggered toward Garry, who looked like smoke might come out of his ears any second.
"Sorry about your camera, I guess I should have told you I was afraid of heights. We'll do it against a blue screen tomorrow. Right now, I'm heading home."
She walked off the set, paying absolutely no attention to the epithets that he was hurling after her.
This time he'll have to do what you say. He has no choice.
She didn't need this job anyway. She had enough money saved up to live well for the rest of her life without ever working again. It was just that she'd get so bored sitting around the house all day waiting for Victoria to get home from school.
By the time she reached her car, she'd started to cry.
Shit. Good thing you're away from the set, honey-
Wouldn't want them to see such an asshole side of our personality, now would we?
When she started the car, she thought she was crying from simple embarrassment, but bythe time she got home, she realized it was just plain exhaustion. She hadn't stopped working since Hillary had died. And that had been nearly two years now. Cee Cee needed a rest in the worst way. If she didn't get one, she might just collapse one day on the set or something.
Who the hell wanted to see a movie about the wife of the man who designed the "Scream Machine", anyway? And why knock herself out like this for a flop?
But it was work and that was all that mattered. She was damned lucky to have it.
Still, she realized she had to slow down. Spend more time with Vicki, the little girl barely even knew her.
Why the hell not be bored for a change? If you don't deserve it, no one does.
Now all she had to do was work up the courage to call Garry and tell him that.
Yeah, sure. That should be easy enough, right?
Shit.
When Cee Cee got home, it was only 3 o'clock. So she decided to take a quick shower before Vicki got back from school. Besides, the warm water always calmed her nerves when she got like this.
At least it always had before.
That's what she was thinking when she turned on the shower head and stepped into the tub. But for some reason, not this time.
Usually the warm water beating against her skin relaxed her, took the edge off, but this time it wasn't working. This time her mind refused to drift off into that quiet, fuzzy, comforting place it had always found so soothing. This time all she could think about was Garry.
What the bloody hell could she tell him?
Even though she and Garry could get on each other's nerves to no end, he was a great director. He knew what worked and what didn't and always managed to get the best out of his actors. True, he could push Cee Cee's buttons.
Oh God, could he!
Sometimes he'd get her so mad she couldn't see straight and they'd blow up at each other, then stalk off to their respective trailers. But usually, when Cee Cee thought things through, she'd realize he was right. And she'd come out again and do the scene just as he'd said- and it would be kick ass perfect.
Garry was really a lot like her: stubborn and hot-tempered, but fair and caring at the same time. Not that she had the hots for him or anything- he was fifteen years older than Cee Cee was and married to a woman who was fifteen years younger than Cee Cee. But though everyone thought they hated each other, the fact was that Cee Cee respected Garry a helluva lot and really wanted him to respect her. She wanted him to let her use some of her ideas even though she knew his would probably work better. Not that she would ever let anyone know she thought his ideas were so wonderful- it would make her look uncreative. Besides, their arguments actually made the scenes better. Her adrenaline would start pumping and she'd go out and act her butt off. But, she couldn't help being jealous of his supreme good judgment.
By the time Vicki knocked on the bathroom door and said, "I'm home.", Cee Cee was knee deep in her self-perpetuating crisis as to what to tell him. Because she had now decided that she was completely sure that she did not want to finish making that schlocky film of his they'd been working on for so fucking long anyway.
She reached down and turned off the water, then stepped out to dry off.
It was going to be awfully damned hard to just call and quit. Especially when she and that son of a bitch had invested so much of themselves in the whole fucked up mess.
He's gonna be pissed, Bloom. He's gonna be major fucking pissed!
Damn it!She had to pull herself out of this funk she'd gotten herself into!
Chill out, honey. Just chill the hell out!
Cee Cee yanked her nightgown over her head and emerged from the bathroom wearing her white terrycloth bathrobe and a towel done up turban style on her head like everyone used to wear in all those old "Tits and Sand" movies from the '30's.
"Hiya Ceece, nice headgear.", Victoria said.
"Oh, hi honey. Thanks," she said, her brain lost in an absent haze.
"Cee Cee, what's the matter?"
She shook her head, trying to clear away the cobwebs and forced herself to concentrate and become alert again, "How did you know there was something wrong?"
"Your face looks funny..."
Cee Cee grinned a sideways grin, "And it doesn't usually?"
"...and you didn't have some kind of snappy comeback that I know I probably couldn't repeat."
Cee Cee smiled, "Sorry about that, honey, I didn't mean to check out on you there." She paused for a second. "You know what, Victoria, I just had a thought. You actually might be able to help this old broad out of a quandary."
"A 'Kwon' what?"
Cee Cee laughed, "That's just a fancy way of saying I'm in some deep shh... inola and I need some advice on how the get out of it, you dig?"
"Oh. Yeah, okay. Sure. What's wrong?"
"Come in here and I'll tell you all about it.", she said, putting her arm around Victoria's shoulders. They walked into the living room and sat down on Cee Cee's black and white leather upholstered couch, the one with the Andy Warhol of Cee Cee hanging on the wall behind it.
"Alright, this is the story, honey..." Cee Cee said, crossing her legs up Indian style beneath her robe. "I've decided to take a rest from showbiz for awhile so I can just be a full-time Mom to you instead. The problem is that I have to call my boss, the director, and quit, but I have no idea how to do it without hurting his feelings and making him mad. Any suggestions?"
"What's his name?"
"Garry."
"Just say, 'Garry, I quit.'"
"Honey, I wish it were that simple. But if I tell him that, he'll think it's his fault I'm quitting. But the truth is, it's not."
Vicki sighed, "Well... what do you think you should tell him?"
"Oh, that it isn't his fault. That I just need some time off to be with you and take a rest from things for awhile."
"Cee Cee, why do you need to give him an explanation at all? If you're worried about how to say it, it might come out wrong. Besides, doesn't he work for you?"
Cee Cee smiled. "No honey. It's the other way around."
"Then tell him what you just told me."
"Yeah, okay. That sounds easy enough. Thanks, honey."
She walked to the telephone, picked up the receiver and dialed Garry. The phone rang in her ear five times. Six. She was just about to hang up when a voice said, "Hello?"
"Garry?"
"Yeah."
"It's Cee Cee- I quit."
She hung up by pressing down the rest on the phone, when she was sure it had disconnected him, she lay the receiver down on the table beside the phone.
If he wanted to call back to rant and rave about how she was such an inconsiderate mega-bitch, let him talk to the damned voicemail. And, besides, Vicki was right anyway. That shithead didn't deserve an explanation.
Later that night, Cee Cee got the air popper out and popped some popcorn that tasted like Styrofoam.
It was Friday night, but Cee Cee didn't have a date.
That's the way it had been for some time now.
There hadn't really been anyone in her life since John. He had been the one and only man Cee Cee Bloom had ever truly loved. Even though he'd helped her resurrect her career, she could never get him to come back to her. Much to her disappointment.
John had always shunned a show business life and Cee Cee couldn't convince him that she wouldn't forever have to be the center of attention if they remarried.
Stubborn bastard.
They remained close friends, but Cee Cee wanted more. It had been so long since she'd had an intimate relationship with a man, yet she wouldn't trust any man except John with such a private part of herself. Even now that she knew it was impossible, she wanted him back. Bad. The urgency was made greater by the fact that she knew it would never happen. And she continued beat herself up over the divorce constantly.
Aside from all that, she was pretty fed up with the business and she was getting older. She even had a daughter to think about now. Victoria had calmed her down quite a bit. Cee Cee no longer felt the need to be the center of attention anymore. Vicki was taking over that niche of her life faster than she could've ever imagined.
Maybe John would be more receptive now than he ever was before.
Damn, thought about that possibility so fucking many times over the last two years... Shit, honey, all your eggs, among other things, probably dried up and turned to dust long before that nauseating little Macaulay Culkin kid was even an itch in his old man's BVD's. Ah, who gives a rat's ass anyway? Like you would actually have the balls to pick up the phone and even call the bastard.
Yeah, right.
And what would he say if you did? "I don't wanna go where you're going, Cecelia."
God, what a cop out! What the hell kind of break up line was that?
Guess it got the job done though, didn't it, Bloom, you schlep?
Well, so what, Cee Cee. So what! You don't need the son of a bitch anyway, do you?
Maybe it would be nice to get laid again, but...
Ah, fuck it... you're just horny, that's all it is.
Your love life is shit as per usual and of course you're gonna go and get all hot and bothered and wish you had the fucker back.
But, it wouldn't work out. No, not at all. Remember how much John hated kids?
Yeah, remember how much you claimed you hated kids... but that was all for John's benefit.
Well, if your body hadn't screwed you over, maybe you'd have one of your own now. Thank God Hillary knew you so well. Still can't believe she trusted you with the most precious, lovely gift anyone could ever give another. Shocking how much you love that little girl, isn't it, Bloom?
Well, not really. Remember how much you wanted kids? Remember how you ached for them and how John made you feel like shit about being so selfish as to want them with your career and all?
It was funny how she'd never told anyone just how much she really did want kids. Well, anyone except John and Hillary, of course. When she'd been married, she'd tried and tried to get pregnant, even though John told her that with her career, kids were a mistake. Eventually, she'd stopped telling him about it and just didn't take her pills. But she still couldn't conceive. After about six months of not taking any pills at all, she'd began to think that there might be something wrong with her. She had known that John was okay. He'd been married once before and had gotten his wife, Marsha, pregnant. But Marsha had gotten an abortion because she'd been a shitbrained idiot in Cee Cee's opinion. John had told her that Marsha had not wanted to have the child because she didn't think she could handle motherhood. Cee Cee, on the other hand, in contrast to everything everyone seemed to have ever thought about her, had possessed an extremely strong mothering instinct for as long as she could remember. She'd tried to tell John about it, but he just couldn't believe she was serious. Cee Cee Bloom could not possibly have one nurturing bone in her body. She was too obsessed with herself, at least according to him. That had been their first big argument and when it had blown over, Cee Cee had never mentioned it to him again. She'd tried to open up and she'd been hurt, so... she'd said to hell with it, she'd decided to just go ahead and get pregnant anyway. Just to spite John. But, it hadn't worked that way. She'd tried and tried. But nothing had happened. Finally, she had broken down and gone to the Gynecologist. And, after a rather lengthy and humiliating examination, he'd told Cee Cee that she had an 'inverted uterus' and was, therefore, sterile.
"A what?", Cee Cee had asked in disbelief.
"An inverted uterus, Ms. Bloom. Your womb is upside down, so, barring a miracle, it's pretty much impossible for you to conceive a child.", he'd told her matter-of-factly.
The look on Cee Cee's face must've betrayed her thoughts because the doctor had immediately changed to a sympathetic tone. "I'm really sorry, Ms. Bloom. There's nothing wrong with you, physically, to keep you from conceiving. The birth canal is large enough but it's just very difficult for an egg to receive fertilization when it is in the wrong place."
Cee Cee remembered feeling sick to her stomach. He had been talking about her insides like she had been some kind of lab animal.
"Your condition is a common one and is completely benign. No operations are required, but you are, for all intents and purposes, sterile. However, no other functions of your body are affected."
"Sterile?"
"Yes"
Barren, that's what he'd meant.
"So what you are telling me is that there's no way I can possibly have a child of my own, right?", she'd asked, trying to keep her voice from breaking with the huge sob she'd felt welling up inside her.
"It looks that way... yes. But, you could always adopt, Ms. Bloom. There are thousands of kids–"
"Yeah, right. I know.", she'd blurted, trying to hold herself together until she could leave his office. She remembered that she had started feeling a little light headed right about then. "Thank you, doctor."
She'd paid the bill mechanically and left the office, gotten into her car and burst into tears of complete and utter despair. She'd known that John would never adopt. He hadn't been the one who'd wanted the kids in the first place. Sometimes, to this day, Cee Cee still selfishly wished that Marsha had given birth to the baby, so she'd at least have had the opportunity to be the child's Godmother or something.
Who would ever have believed it, Cee Cee Bloom was barren. Oh sure, she could have probably had an operation to turn her womb right side up again, but to hell with that.
Cee Cee had always been utterly terrified of hospitals and operations and blood, especially her own. No operations for her, unless her life depended on it. And, no little baby to hold and play with and sing to and protect from the world, either. Just the rest of her life alone, without anyone to carry on her legacy, such as it was.
When Hillary had Victoria, Cee Cee had been ecstatic. She had been sure that she'd certainly get her chance at mothering. Especially at the beach house. But, as it turned out, Victoria had been a tough nut to crack. She'd resented Cee Cee from the word 'go' and Cee Cee had known it. She hadn't been used to the reaction she'd gotten from Victoria, who hadn't wanted anything to do with Cee Cee at all. At first, she'd just wanted her to pack up and leave. But, then things had gotten better and Victoria had seen that Cee Cee only had her mother's best interest at heart and she'd let up on her a bit.
Still, for several months after Hillary died, Cee Cee had been sure that Victoria hated her. Even though Victoria had agreed to live with her as Hillary's Will had said. It was only when Victoria admitted that she had cared about her pretty much from the beginning, once she'd gotten to really know who Cee Cee was as a person, that Cee Cee felt better about everything.
Since it was Friday night, Cee Cee said it would be okay if Victoria stayed up late with her. The two watched a video and when it was over Vicki got up to go to the bathroom. Cee Cee had just started flipping the channels on the TV when she heard Victoria yell for her.
"Cee Cee, c'mere. Hurry! Something's... wrong. I need you!"
There was an edge of fear in Victoria's voice that Cee Cee didn't ever remember hearing before. It reminded her of the time Hillary had been looking in crazed desperation for a picture of her mother's hands. The time she'd told Cee Cee she was afraid of dying. As long as she'd known Hillary, she'd never heard that tone of complete and utter terror in her voice. It sent a chill down her spine now to hear it coming from Hill's daughter.
Cee Cee leapt from the couch, sprinted down the hall to the bathroom and flung open the door.
"What is it, honey? What's wrong?"
Victoria looked up at her, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I'm bleeding, Cee Cee.", she said.
Cee Cee came in and shut the door.
"Oh shit. Shit!", she said and leaned back against it. She looked up at the ceiling, smiled and shook her head. "Oh my God.", she said, then put a hand to her forehead and snorted out a disdainful little chuckle. "Damn it. This is great. This is just friggin' great."
"What's the matter with you? Cee Cee, I'm bleeding internally or hemorrhaging or something. Why are you acting like this? Why are you laughing? I need to go to the hospital! Go call 911."
The older woman had to bite her tongue to keep from breaking out in a huge belly laugh right there in her face.
Yeah, Bloom, that'd really piss her off.
"Hurry! Cee Cee, I'm... bleeding!"
"Honey, there's no need for anything that drastic, believe me."
"But, Cee Cee... I'm... I mean, there's blood all over my...", her eyes filled up and the little girl looked away from her. Then in a strained little voice, she said, "Please, Cee Cee... What's wrong with me?"
Cee Cee went over and hugged her.
"Nothing, honey. You're in perfect health, I promise."
"I don't believe you!", she said, sobbing. Then turning wet, accusing eyes back to Cee Cee, "You laughed at me, Cee Cee!"
"I know. And I'm sorry, honey. But, I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at me."
Of course you handled this all wrong as usual. Damn. Garry's right. Garry's really right. Bloom, you can be such a mega-bitch shithead sometimes.
"How old are you, Victoria?"
"I'll be twelve in September. But what does that-"
"If you can bear with me, I'll try to explain it all to you. Trust me baby, there's nothing wrong with you. I promise you that. You're absolutely fine. Right on schedule."
"Oh.", Vicki said, eyebrows raised in sudden comprehension, then a look of utter revulsion traveled across the young girl's face, "Yuck. I get it now."
"You do?"
Vicki nodded, "Yeah, it's my period, isn't it, Cee Cee? I got my period."
Hot damn! She actually knows about it! Maybe this won't be as bad as you've always thought it was gonna be.
Cee Cee nodded. "Yep, that's what it is all right, honey."
"So I guess you think I should be excited or something, right?"
"Excited? I don't know about that, Victoria. I mean I wasn't very excited when I got mine, I'll tell you."
"Well, I hate it already."
"Welcome to the club, kiddo."
"It's disgusting."
"Uh-huh. But it happens. It does mean you're a woman now though, you know?"
"Yeah, but I wasn't done being a kid yet."
She looked down at the little girl.
"I know. I wasn't too overjoyed about my first one either, but you get used to it, honey. Believe me, you do. Eventually. See, I got mine when I was only 10 for God's Sake. But Leona had told me diddley squat about it and I thought I was bleeding to death or something. You know like what Sissy Spacek thought in "Carrie"? It was just awful."
"Some of the girls at school have already gotten theirs and everybody else is talking about how they can't wait to start and how wonderful it'll be and all that."
"Oh, so there are still those raving lunatics in the public schools, huh? Here I was thinking I'd cornered the market on weird by hating every minute of my monthly visits with Aunt Flow."
Vicki smiled. "Aunt Flow?"
"Sorry, bad joke."
Vicki shook her head. "No, I know just what you mean. But, I just don't get it. I mean I don't understand how anyone could look forward to... I mean, I think it's just...", she looked down at her soiled panties, "Ew... so disgusting, Cee Cee."
"Yeah, it sure is, honey. But, it's also a miracle in a way. You know to be able to have children and all. It's just not so wonderful to have to bleed buckets and cramp like you know what and stink to high heaven for 5 days out of every month. But we all have our crosses to bear, I suppose. We just have to accept it. Although, I do have to say that I totally agree with you. It is one of the more disgusting aspects of being born a woman. On the other hand, it could be worse. I mean, like I told you before, it's nothing you need to be hospitalized for or anything like that. It won't kill you, even though it might feel like it will sometimes."
Cee Cee smiled at her and wiped the tears from Vicki's cheeks with her index finger. "Now, the question is, do I have any pads left?", she said aloud to herself. "I usually wear tampons, but we wouldn't want to gross you out even further now would we?"
Vicki shook her head vehemently, "Definitely not."
"Thought so. Luckily, I just happen to have a few pads on hand for emergencies. And looks like its a good thing too, because we seem to have just such an emergency here, don't we? I'll try to round some up for you, kiddo. And after I get you fixed up, I'll try to explain what's going on with your bod. You just sit tight 'til I get back, okay?", she said, standing.
Victoria nodded. "We learned a bunch of stuff about ministration-"
"Menstruation, honey."
"Yeah, that. We learned about that at school, but I forgot most of it. I guess I thought if I didn't listen, maybe it wouldn't happen to me or something."
"Victoria," Cee Cee said, shaking her head and wagging a finger back and forth in the child's face. "you can't fool Mother Nature."
The little girl laughed out loud. "Yeah, I see that now. I guess you can tell me everything I forgot, right Ceece?"
"Well let me just put it this way, honey, you're gonna wish your mom were still around, cause she'd be a heckuva lot better at this than me.", she said and headed for the other bathroom.
In her bedroom, she made a quick stop at her night table to fish out a thin, pocket sized book on the subject she'd bought in one of her infrequent "bursts of conscientious awareness" as she called them. The book was all about puberty and it was called Almost Twelve. She'd found it on sale at, of all places, a Christian bookstore one day last year when she was shopping for a 50th Wedding Anniversary gift for one of Leona's few "Shiksa friends".
To Leona, any non-Jewish woman, no matter what her age, was a Shiksa. Even though Cee Cee'd always thought the word was derogatory, Leona used it as a term of endearment.
That's the way she introduced people: "Cee Cee honey, I'd like you to meet one of my Shiksa friends, Berneice" or "Cee Cee baby, this is one of my Shiksa friends, Louise." Sometimes, she even used combinations, "Cee Cee darling, let me introduce you to a Shiksa Gentile friend of mine..." Cee Cee shuddered to think how she would introduce someone like... Tina Turner. Probably something real catchy: "Oh, Cee Cee dearest, this is a wonderful Schvartze Shiksa Buddhist friend of mine. She's a singer, too. Did you know that?" Schvartze, in this case, being basically Yiddish for "nigger".
Yeah, real endearing, Ma. Real fucking endearing.
Cee Cee walked back into the bathroom carrying the book, some pads, some clean underwear for the little girl and a couple of Anaprox in case she was having any cramps. She showed her how to fasten the sanitary pad into her underwear then turned to leave.
"Cee Cee?"
"Hmm?", she said, turning.
Shit! Kid looks like she's gonna start up the waterworks again. What the hell have you done now?
"I um...", Vicki said, her bottom lip trembling, "I mean... um... thanks."
Cee Cee smiled, "Not a problem, kiddo. You okay?"
She nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, I guess so, Cee Cee. It's just all so... gross and disgusting and... scary."
"I know, honey. Tell you what, how would you like to sleep with me tonight? You know, just in case you have any kind of bad dreams or an... accident or something, I'd be right there to help you out so you wouldn't be scared or anything. That sound okay to you, honey?"
"You wouldn't mind?"
Cee Cee shook her head. "Of course not, kiddo."
"But I mean, I might get your bed all..."
"It's okay, honey. I don't mind. It'll give me a good reason to change the sheets."
Vicki's eyes flickered with... what... joy? "Oh Cee Cee, that'd be great.", she said and rushed over to hug her tight. "Thank you! That'd be just great!"
"Gee, honey. It's not like I just told you you just won the New York State lottery or anything."
"I know, but I'm just so... I don't know..."
"Scared? Relieved?"
"Both, I guess. Mostly scared though. But you made it alright, Ceece. Thanks."
"Anytime, sweetheart. Anytime at all."
"Cee Cee?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I mean... I was just thinking."
"Oh yeah?", Cee Cee said and raised her eyebrows. "Thinking about what?"
"I always call you 'Cee Cee'."
"Well, yeah... that is my name, you know."
"But, what if I don't want to call you 'Cee Cee' anymore."
Oh God, where is this going? What the hell is she gonna call you? Big Tits?
"What are you talking about, Victoria? I mean, what else could you call me?"
"Oh, I don't know. How about 'Mom'?"
God! Oh my God!
"Huh? Wh- What did you say?", Cee Cee asked, the color seeping from her face.
"Is it alright if I start calling you 'Mom', instead of Cee Cee? I mean, you are my mother now, right? You did adopt me when my first mother died and everything, didn't you, Ceece?"
Cee Cee nodded, but her whole body had gone numb. "Yeah... but I..."
"I mean you went to court and signed all the papers and stuff to make it legal, right?"
"Well, yeah but that's what Hillary said she wanted me to do... I mean I was just-"
"It's been nearly two years now, Cee Cee and I love you so much."
Cee Cee's eyes were now beginning to sting. "Oh honey, I love you, too.", she said, in a throaty voice. "But, I'm not sure if–"
"You don't want me to start calling you that?", Victoria said, now looking like she was going to burst into tears along with Cee Cee.
"Are you kidding? Of course I do, honey. I mean...", she took a deep breath. "Victoria, there's nothing in the world I want more than to be with you, than to be your mother. And I would absolutely love for you to start calling me 'mom'. But, are you really sure you want to? I mean... you know... we're not related by blood or anything. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that I'm not your biological mother, honey."
"I know, Ceece, but so what?"
"So, wouldn't you be a little uncomfortable calling me that? I mean, well... wouldn't it make you feel, oh I don't know... kinda weird to call me that?"
"No. Would it make you feel weird, Cee Cee?"
"Course not. I'd be in hog heaven."
"So what's the problem then? I mean, you are my mother now, right?"
"Well... yeah, I guess I am, sweetie, but..."
"And I love you just like I loved her... so why not call you 'Mom'?"
By now, tears had begun streaking their way down Cee Cee's cheeks, but somehow she still managed a huge grin. "Yeah," she said shaking her head and giving in to the little girl's line of questioning, "why not?"
Damn. What a case! Even that Judge Wapner guy from that cheesy show, "The People's Court" could take some advice from this kid. She certainly was a whiz. And she was only 11 years old. God, imagine what she'll be like at 16! Cee Cee, you won't even be able to carry on any kind of pseudo intelligent conversation with her, she'll be thinking so far over your head you'll probably just piss her off or something. Well, you can certainly say this: her mother was definitely a lawyer alright.
"Don't worry, though, I'll still call you Cee Cee some of the time, okay Mom?" "Okay, my angel.", Cee Cee said, pulling Victoria so tightly to her that girl's face was squashed against her bosom and stroking her hair lightly.
"Cee Cee! I can't breathe!", said a muffled voice from somewhere in the depths
of Cee Cee's cleavage.
Cee Cee laughed and released her so that she could hold her at arm's length and look into her face... she was nearly as tall as Cee Cee now and she was looking more and more like her Hillary every day. Cee Cee could already tell Hill's daughter was going to be just as beautiful as Hill had been, if not even more so. Cee Cee allowed her eyes travel over the young girl. She was growing up right before her eyes. Her body was filling out nicely, where once there had been only boyish shapelessness, she was now beginning to develop girlish curves and bulges in all the right places. Cee Cee could tell they would soon be shopping for a brassiere. She remembered when she was 12 and was thankful that Victoria's body hadn't gone completely out of control like hers had. Victoria's breasts were just tiny buds, but by the time Cee Cee had reached 12, she was already a D-cup. And, Leona wouldn't buy her a bra because she was afraid it would stunt her growth.
Smart, Ma. Real smart!
It had been a nightmare that she really still hadn't gotten over to this day. She smiled a bit wistfully at the memory and silently thanked God that Victoria's puberty seemed to be getting off to a better start than hers had. Cee Cee brushed the stray hair from Victoria's face and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on the young girl's forehead. "Victoria," she said, "I think I love you more than life itself. Did you know that, honey?"
"Of course I did, mom. And, I love you that much, too, you know. But just cause I wanna call you 'Mom' now, doesn't mean you can go and get all sappy on me here, Cee Cee."
Cee Cee grinned. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, honey. But, I'm just kinda new at all this mothering jazz. Am I forgiven?"
"You bet, but only if you'll take me to see "Ghost" again tomorrow."
"You got it. A horny old broad like me never misses a chance to see Patrick Swayze without his shirt, if you know what I mean."
"Sure do and neither does a horny young one."
"Watch it!", Cee Cee said but failed to suppress a burst of laughter. "Hey, what do you say, we hit the sack? This whole mother-daughter thing has really taken it out of me."
"Yeah, me too."
"C'mon, we might even dream of Patrick."
"That's what I'm counting on. Race you."