The men in the blue jackets hurried along sweeping up saw dust, and polishing porcelain. Between the six laborers, the cast iron bath tub had been carried in, installed, and had closet built around it with a pocket door camouflaged to look like the rest of the wall. Anna congratulated herself tricking Elsa "she'll never know" the princess thought remembering there conversation at breakfast.
"Come on Elsa, pretty please with sugar on top."
"No Anna, the floor in your room is not strong enough to hold a bath tub."
"Oh you're just being paranoid, it'll be fine"
"The answer is no my little princess… and I mean it" Elsa added a bit of emphasis to the 'I mean it' part
The worker's foreman approached Anna with his hat in his hand and head bowed he spoke with a small amount of nervous apprehension. "All finished your Highness".
"Perfect, you all have the thanks and appreciation of a satisfied customer." The workers beamed in pride at the copper haired royal's praise.
"And now you all have the orders of your Princess to consider." The six men stood silently at attention.
"The work you have done here today is a state secret, you will not discuss it with you wives at home, your friends at the tavern, or anyone else, am I understood."
A six man chorus of "yes your highness" filled the room.
The foreman spoke up again "Our lips are sealed your highness, no one, not even the Queen will know"
"Damn sure not her! ... Uh I mean yes, I know I can count on your discretion. "Anna stammered while the workmen gathered there tools and scraps of left over wood. As they walked out the door the Princess handed each one a 100 Speciedaler note for a tip, and just a tip not a bribe. Being the second most powerful person in the kingdom meant that her word was law and a trip to the axe man's chopping block could be arranged with a snap of fingers.
After the workers left Anna pulled a silk cord along the wall which rang a bell in the servant wing, alerting them to attend to the Princess's room.
"Enter" Anna replied to the knock at her door.
The ornate door with pink trim opened partially to allow a small slip of a girl barely more than twelve to walk in and curtsy.
"How may serve you, your highness?" the girl asked.
"Tell me child, can you keep a secret?" Anna asked with a grin.
"Yes ma'am "the girl curtsied again,
….
Elsa sat upon her throne wearing an extremely regale looking ice gown holding her scepter and her crown nested in her hair. The Queen's countenance was one of solemn grace and poise (she was all business today). Kai took to the center of the room in front of the queen's dais and cleared his throat.
"All those who have business with the court of 'Her Royal Majesty Queen Elsa' step forward"
An old woman of about seventy walked forward assisted with a cane. Kai fought the urge to walk over and help
"Please state your business." Kai said
The old woman kneeled down and pulled an odd black sphere from her dress. No one knew what it was until they saw a lit fuse.
"Death to the sorceress "the old woman screamed as she hurled the bomb at Elsa.
As crossbow bolts and musket balls entered the old woman at all angles Elsa immediately jumped from her throne creating a dome of ice around the bomb just before it exploded. The detonation only made slight cracks in the magic ice dome yet devastating the dais floor beneath it sending shock waves thru the castle walls.
"So it's going to be one of those days" Elsa thought to herself.
A cacophony of panic and confusion assaulted Elsa's ears. Palace guards surrounded the Queen in a tight circle with their swords pointing outward in all directions.
"Stand down and disperse." Elsa raised her voice a little as she gave the order. Composing herself Elsa addressed the still very alarmed crowd. "Remain calm and do not leave, court will continue" "come hell or high water" the queen added as an afterthought.
….
"What was that?" Anna asked the young servant girl who was adding the last bucket of water to the new tub, after hearing the muffled explosion.
"Would you like for me to check your highness." The girl asked
"No I'm sure it was just the queen demonstrating her powers" Anna replied
"The bath is ready ma'am, can I be of any other assistance."
"No, I think that will be all for now, you're dismissed, but remember if any one finds out about this I'll personally take a switch to your back side, got it". Anna spoke to the girl with the most serious face she could make.
"Yes your highness" The girl curtsied and then quickly and quietly left.
….
Elsa took over for Kai who had passed out and spoke" alright who is next?"
"I am your majesty" a teenage boy stepped forward and knelt down.
"You do not have any bombs on you I hope" Elsa said with a smirk.
"A thousand times no your majesty, my fealty and life is dedicated to the crown of Arendelle."
"And what may that crown do for you today young man" Elsa asked with a kinder smile this time.
….
Anna eased herself into the tub, the water a little warmer than she would have liked but still comfortable. The princess's thoughts drifted back to the conversation she would like to have with her sister, but had better since to.
"Ha, the tub is just fine. Floor hasn't caved in yet Queen smarty pants. After all Elsa the carpenters didn't say anything about the floor, and isn't it there job to know such things. Damn crown has gone to your head."
….
"I wish to enlist in the Arendelle army, your majesty." The boy responded with pride.
"A noble venture, but you do not require royal dispensation for this. Why have you come to me instead of the army headquarters?" Elsa asked with some confusion.
"Your majesty, the minimum age for enlistment is sixteen, I am only fourteen"
….
"Looks like I'm the smart one this time sis. This thing is as solid as a rock."
Anna stood up in the tub and started jumping up and down to further prove her point to the hypothetical Elsa that Anna actually would be brave enough to say all this to.
"Smart smart smart" The princess chanted to herself as she jumped up and down in the tub, water sloshing around as she hopped.
….
"You are so young, why are you so determined to join the army"
"A stepping stone your majesty"
"Stepping stone to what young man" the queen asked her curiosity kicking in
"Military service is a good path to becoming a palace guard"
….
"Smart smart smart" Anna still chanting while still jumping up and down
….
"And why would you want to become a palace guard, is there not a place in your father's trade for you"
"My parents are gone; your majesty, and being a guard is my dream"
"Dream, why would that be your dream"
"So I may protect you and her royal highness the gracious princess Anna. I feel it is the best way to serve my country"
….
"smart smart smart"
….
"Well gracious is a way to describe the princess"
"A completely wrong way" Elsa thought
….
"Smart smart smart" Anna shouted with such loud exuberance that she didn't hear the floor joist that was never intended to hold that much weight to begin with (and weakened by the explosion) start to crack.
….
"Why is protecting the royal family the best way to serve" Elsa asked, now genuinely curious.
"May I speak freely your majesty" the boy asked with a nervous look.
"Please do young man".
"Arendelle is lucky to have such decent and kind monarchs like you and her highness. The two of you are a rarity amongst royals, most nobles see there station as a platform for opportunity to gain more power and commoners as pawns on a chess board. However you and the great princess are different, you actually care about us your majesty" the boy timidly looked at the floor after saying this.
Elsa's cheeks started to turn pink at being praised this way.
"Thank you; I am deeply touched by your words and sense of duty and the princess would feel the same if she were here.
….
"Smart smart smart" the floor joist was now bowing with many more cracks. The nude red head with her hair in a bun was still oblivious to all this as she splashed water about jumping up and down to celebrate her brilliance.
….
"I will speak with the Marshal of the Army about this matter. Perhaps after a year of service in the infantry a guard position may be in your future."
Before the boy could speak an explosion of stone and wood burst from the celling along with Anna, a bath tub and Sixty gallons of water. The crowd gasped in shock at the sight of a cast iron tub smashing the throne less than ten feet behind the queen in to splinters and the princess landing feet first next to her. Elsa didn't immediately notice Anna and the throne because the hot water came down on her head completely melting her ice gown.
The two royal sisters stood still and silent on what was left of the throne dais. The crowd of at least one hundred subjects also stood still and silent staring at the women who were both completely nude. It was Anna who broke the silence first by covering her breast with her arms and screaming as she ran out of a side door. Elsa was almost catatonic.
Anna ran down the hallway until she saw a guard standing at attention. Far too embarrassed to actually speak to the guard who would have gladly given her his jacket and any other assistance she needed; Anna jumped on top of the poor bastard and beat him senseless and then stole his uniform and boots. After this most non-princess like deed was finished she ran towards the stables with fearful visions of Elsa executing her in various painful ways running through her mind.
….
"Yeah it's defiantly going to be one of those days" The Queen thought.
Looking out at the crowd and the young man kneeling in front of her, Elsa cleared her throat.
"Turns out Your Queen is a woman" "who would have guessed" she added sarcastically. With a wave of her hand a new ice dress appeared over her slender frame and all of the water froze and then evaporated
"I said it before and I will say it again court will continue" Elsa announced while thinking of twenty different possible punishments for her sister.
"So yes your petition to join the army is granted, give your information to the attendant before you leave" Elsa said, trying to return a semblance of normalcy to the proceedings.
"Thank you your majesty, thank you so much" the young man spoke as he started to rise.
Before he completely stood up Elsa leaned in and whispered in to his ear while wearing a puckish grin.
"Don't pull it to hard boy."
….
The queen exited her throne room the same side door Anna had four hours earlier; glad that this extra tiring session of court was over.
"Now to find out where Anna is" Elsa thought.
Then Queen searched the castle high and low, checking behind drapes and under table cloths. Announcing in a loud voice "Anna come out and get you medicine, you can't hide forever my little princess".
Elsa was starting to get worried when she noticed the stable master walking thru the servant wing. Elsa did not really want to involve the staff in what she considered a family matter, but she had been searching for over an hour.
"Excuse me."
"Upon see his Queen the old man immediately knelled before speaking"
"Your Majesty, how may this humble servant be of use?"
"Please rise good sir." Elsa felt a twang of guilt at seeing an arthritic man with sixty five year old knees causing himself pain for the sake of propriety.
"Tell me, have you seen the Princess recently"
"Why yes your Majesty, earlier this afternoon I saw her highness saddling her horse and on top of that she was wearing a waist coat and pants" the old man replied.
Elsa's brow knitted at this new information
"I wonder where she was in such a hurry too" the stable master asked.
"Oh I have an idea" the queen voiced while crossing her arms, the anger.
….
Anna's horse came to a stop as she pulled back on the reins. She jumped off and almost fell over from exhaustion, having rode none stop the whole way to the troll's village in the Valley of the living rock. The trolls started to roll around her in excitement while an amused Kristof stood by. Grande Pabbie approached Anna.
"Princess, you seem troubled is something wrong."
"Yes Pabbie, I am in grave danger." She adjusted her posture and cleared her throat to speak with a bit more poise "Grande Pabbie, as per the Valley treaty of 1769. I Crown Princess Anna of Arendelle do formally request 'right of asylum' in troll lands and holdings."
"Of course my dear it is so granted, but what is wrong, what creature seeks to do you harm?"
Before Anna could answer Kristof took a bite of his carrot and spoke with a huge grin
"The queen's probably gonna bust her ass again"
"SHUT UP REINDEER BOY!" Anna screamed at Kristof her face turning red from anger and embarrassment.
Pabbie shook his head and chuckled "did you set another carriage on fire"
"No, why does everyone keep bringing that up" Anna exclaimed with a pout.
Anna turned her head slightly to see three small 'stones' roll to her feet. The three orbs came to a stop in front of the princesses shoes and jumped into the air to reveal three adolescent trolls.
"Don't worry your highness we'll protect you." The one on the left offered up
"Yea, say princess can you tell us with the beast looks like "the one in the middle added
"Yea go ahead feisty pants tell them what the beast looks like" Kristoff called out barley able to contain his laughter
"Kristoff I swear by everything that is holy, if you don't shut up, you're going to be living the life of a monk to Christmas "The red head spat thru her teeth.
Anna then turned back to the three troll youths. "Imagine an angry Valkyrie all blue and white and full of rage"
"You mean like that" the young troll said while pointing to the sky
Anna turned her head to see her sister atop of a giant Pegasus composed of shimmering ice coming in for a landing.
"Um yea, something like that."
Elsa sat atop of the mighty ice stallion with her arms crossed (she controlled the impossible creature with her mind, not reins) making direct eye contact with Anna as she brought the Pegasus in for a landing. The second it hoof touched the ground the horse's whole body exploded in to a cyclone of thousands of snow flakes, dissipating to reveal Elsa now standing though still with her arms crossed.
Immediately the three trolls who swore to defend Anna rolled forward and stopped in front of the Queen.
"You won't harm the princess Valkyrie" the first little one foot tall would be champion shouted with all the bravery he could muster.
Elsa raised an eyebrow to this and then gave a coy smile. "My, my; what brave warriors you three are to defend the princess. Tell me, why does she merit such valor?"
"Because she's wise and kind and pretty" the troll answered.
"Well I would agree with two of those" the queen commented as she looked at her little sister who was attempting to cower behind Grande Pabbie (no easy task seeing that Troll elder stood only sixteen inches high).
Anna stood her ground and squared her shoulders. "Elsa you can't do anything to me here, Grande pabbie has granted me political asylum".
The platinum haired monarch glanced to Pabbie who nodded his head and spoke
"Yes your majesty Anna has invoked a clause in the treaty I signed with your great-grandfather.
Elsa pondered this for a moment, though she could not show it, she was proud of her sister for using her head at least in this regard. A smile crept on to the Queen's face as a plan came to the forefront of her thoughts. "Well I guess that's that then, guess you're off the hook my little princess… as long as you remain within the confines of the Valley of the living rock."
Anna breathed a sigh of relief and thought "I'll stay here for a week or so, by that point Elsa will miss me so much that she'll pardon the whole incident just to get me home. Yes perfect plan".
Elsa then spoke again putting her plan into action "Anna have you had dinner yet"
The red head pondered this and as she said no her stomach started to growl. Anna looked over to one of the juvenile trolls and asked "so what's for dinner tonight"
"Moss" the first troll replied while holding up a rough wooden plate covered in just that, green moss.
"With slugs" the second troll added while sprinkling the insects on to the plate of moss like croutons on a salad.
Anna covered her mouth to hide the gag reflex she just had.
"Wow slugs, you lucky girl" Elsa quipped to her sister. "I'm a bit jealous Anna; all were having at the castle tonight is roast duck with glazed carrots and fudge brownies for dessert".
Anna's mouth watered at the mentioning of roast duck her favorite, not to mention the brownies.
"Well I guess I will leave you to it, enjoy your slugs dear sister" Elsa said as she made the motions of preparing to leave
"Elsa wait" Anna almost shouted while catching Elsa's right arm and then wrapping both of her arms around it.
"Maybe after dinner we could go back to your room for a few… love taps" the slender princess suggested very sheepishly.
Elsa turned her body so that she was facing Anna and then put her hands on to younger woman's shoulders "Oh Anna, that is all it would have been, but unfortunately you made me chase you all the way to Valley of the living rock. So I am afraid things have escalated a bit"
Anna swallowed hard and then asked "escalated how"?
Elsa lifted her hand from her little sisters shoulder and held in midair so Anna could see the swirling cloud of magic ice glowing blue and finally taking shape as a long paddle
Anna jumped back, both hands instinctively covering her bottom.
"Eeeeeeek"
….
"Umm uh, what are you going to with that" the petite girl asked.
"I think you know what my little princess".
"You… you're going to use that on me when we get home".
"No, I am going to use this on you right now"
"What… here… in front of the trolls"!? Anna lamented almost in tears
"You involved them in this, not I".
Anna's lip started to quiver "but I'm scared"
"I know you are" Elsa spoke while running her fingers thru Anna's hair; she then leaned in and kissed the younger girls forehead. "But I also know this has to be done; I think you know that too". Anna silently nodded her head. The Queen squared her shoulders and put on a most regal face (she couldn't let Anna know how uncomfortable the situation made her) and spoke again.
"Ok my little princess are you ready to take it like a big girl".
Anna gave another silent nod
"Alright, pull down your pants and grab your ankles"
"But Kristoff will see my butt" Anna protested, thinking that might be a good excuse to keep them up for a little protection.
The Queen would have none of that "like he has never seen your butt before".
"I… uh… your majesty…" Kristoff stammered out, genuinely concerned about Elsa's knowledge of how exactly intimate he had gotten with her sister.
"Save it reindeer boy, I was born in the dark but it was not last night" she curtly replied before turning back to Anna "shall we continue".
With her hands shaking Anna slowly lowered her stolen pants to her knees and then grabbed her ankles with tears leaking from both eyes.
Elsa raised her ice paddle back and brought it down on Anna's butt with a resounding crack.
Whack
"Ahhh." Anna yelped
"That is for disobeying me. I told you no this morning and that should have been the end of it."
Whack
"That is for thinking you could hide a five hundred pound cast iron tub from me with a pocket door. Really Anna I have been in your room dozens of times I would have noticed."
Whack
"And this is for abusing your authority as crown princess. How dare you intimidate that little serving girl".
"I wouldn't have really done it, you're the one who likes to beat peoples butts Anna chocked out between sobs.
"Only the butts of bad little princess"
Whack
"That is for not believing me when I said your floor couldn't handle the weight"
"None of the workman mentioned any of that". Anna meekly countered
"Anna, you're the second most powerful person in the kingdom of course those men weren't going to argue with you."
Whack
"That is for destroying the throne room"
Whack
"That is for destroying the six hundred year old throne itself"
Whack
"That is for letting everyone at court see you naked"
Whack, Whack
"That is for letting everyone at court see ME naked"
Anna was sobbing very loudly at this point.
Whack
"That is for almost killing me with a bath tub"
"And this is for almost killing yourself" Elsa circled her left arm around Anna's waist while bringing down a torrent of painful paddle strikes.
Whack, Whack, Whack,
Whack, Whack, Whack,
Whack, Whack, Whack,
Anna let out a blood curdling scream at this final barrage of swats.
Elsa released Anna's waist and brought he up in to a hug and started to kiss the top of her head
"It's over my little princess, we can go home now"
Anna held onto Elsa very tightly and sobbed for a little bit while Elsa played with the princess's hair and kissed her gently on the check while whispering soothing assurances into her ear.
….
The crystalline Pegasus glided thru the air as Elsa sat with her arms crossed while Anna's were wrapped around the blonde's waist from behind and her head pressed into her back.
"I hear you pouting back there" Elsa called back to her little sister
"You can be really mean sometimes" Anna called back
"Anna if I were mean this horse would be galloping"
Anna thought about the effect of the house bouncing up and down would have on her very sore bottom and sulked some more.