Hello, I'm back! I just finished summer classes, so I have a short break. Anyway, this chapter is a little bit different. It's Yukine's POV and his ideas about the "Yatori" ship, so if you guys feel that this doesn't fit with the other entries, I can make this a one shot on it's own. Please let me know.
Anyway, reviews are always appreciated and thanks for your time!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Noragami, otherwise I'd have more Kazuma and Veena (He is such a cutie!)
DEMONS
It's a process for Yukine. There are days where dark towers arise and cage him in and force him to live in a world of only his most terrifying fears. That stray has done nothing but fuel those thoughts. His outer appearance remains strong and he talks back, but he can't lie to himself. She shakes him. He needs to become stronger. He has. He's a blessed regalia and he's also Yato's guide post, but he's still shaken.
With the secrets revealed from Yato's past and the demons that haunt his past and present- his father and Nora- Yukine has decided to bear that burden as well. They have become his obstacle and it is a process to bear the strength to look them square in the eye and not be shaken. He'll defeat them. He'll be better than that stray.
There are moments where his resolve is shaken. Just about a week ago, a surprising circumstance caused new doubt to surface in his mind and spread like a weed only growing and caging him in more.
He had noticed that Yato would sometimes disappear for long periods of time during the day. He felt frustrated because he believed Yato was shirking from his duties as a god and- a part of him that he wanted to crush- also felt terror that Yato was still seeing that stray. And so he decided to go and follow. Both of his hypotheses for the outings had been wrong and what he found truly puzzled him.
Yato sat on a tree overlooking a window at Hiyori's school. His back rested against the trunk of the tree. His body seemed stiff and alert and his gaze was strong and determined. Yukine felt his skin crawl. He suddenly felt like he had seen something he shouldn't have and he wanted to turn and leave. His skin prickled with discomfort, and he wanted to leave, he really did, but that curiosity bubbling within him had turned his legs to lead and he could not will himself to move. He couldn't understand why Yato was here or rather… he knew Yato was here for Hiyori, but why?
He also briefly wondered if Yato did this on many occasions. If all those times that Yato went missing during the day he was here, then he had done this almost a dozen times. As he looked up at the god in the tree, he saw an expression on his face that made him still. Yato's body had seemed to relax instantly and a small smile- one foreign to Yukine- reached his face. Yukine stilled and tried to processes this. He looked relieved to see her. Why? He just couldn't understand; he chose to go back.
From there on, Yukine could not ignore all the subtleties of the god towards Hiyori. He didn't seem to care for her personal space and worst of all was the realization that besides a significant amount of sake, the only other thing to cause the god's cheeks to flush was her.
Did Yato realize all of this? Just how deep did the feelings run, or was Yukine seeing too much in nothing?
Could he go back to when he saw nothing? No… he couldn't. It started to feel awkward for him and he started to notice how at the end of the day, they remained side by side. Like gravity pulling them towards one another and keeping them there. It felt suffocating. Why couldn't he go back to when he didn't see?
Yato said her name often. It seemed to be a major part of his vocabulary. The young shinki also thought Yato dreamt of her. He vaguely remembers waking up once because Yato was dreaming out loud saying something about, "His goddess."
He wasn't sure how he felt about all of this. For Yato to... for him to like someone seemed odd since he was a silly guy, but what if he did? What if he really liked Hiyori?
At times when Yukine would approach the two of them and he'd just see them together, he found himself alarmed by the thought that the sight of them together looked right. And there it was again, the most truest smile on Yato's face.
It looked right, they made sense. Yato became more bearable because of her, but if they got together, what would happen to him?
It was thoughts like these that caused him to pull away. He felt awkward being around them. He felt like he was intruding on a private scene always. He couldn't bear it. He couldn't be around them. When had these thoughts made it so that he didn't know how to be around them anymore?
He cursed himself for being so weak. If this continued, would they fall apart?
To pull away, he begins training intensively with Kazuma. His worries are apart though. His boundary is weaker and Kazuma has used "bind" on him often. Kazuma is tentative and tells him this, but he does not ask if something is wrong. Yukine thanks him for that.
He clenches his fists because running away just doesn't feel right. It's too quiet here. He needs loud, he needs ridiculous adventures. He wants to be where he always has been, but can he?
"Is there something bothering you Yukine," Hiyori asks one day while they do some homework problems.
Despite the fact that he's created distance, she doesn't let him shirk his duties to do homework. He feels so frustrated because Kazuma could tell something was wrong- he didn't pry- and so could she. He thought he had been hiding it well. He's been taken by surprise so he can't come up with a quick enough response and instead she continues.
Her gaze is soft and her hand lingers a bit away from his own. She wants to reach out to him and yet, she doesn't. He doesn't understand why.
"Is- is there something I did to upset you?"
His eyes widened and he quickly says, "No!"
"I just... I feel like you've been avoiding me." She's right. He has, but there's a part of him that doesn't seem to know how to deal with her anymore. He can see it now, how Yato and her become even more entwined and connected and he doesn't know where he fits. The feelings that she portrays may seem innocent to her, but they spell out devotion to the former god of calamity. They send the message of complete trust. She is so tightly bound to him and Yukine can't take it. Where does he fit?
"Whatever it is, please tell me. If I did do something wrong, I'm sorry. Whatever it is don't deal with it on your own. We're friends, we help each other. I can't be happy if you're not."
He looks at her shocked by her words and he feels regretful. He had retreated to his previous form of a brat. He let his fears and insecurities win.
He feels bashful and doesn't want to utter the words, but he does anyway because should they break apart from one another he wants to make sure it's not by his hands.
"Will we always be like this?"
She cocks her head and a small smile spreads across her lips. "I won't forget. I won't ever forget you. We'll go on adventures together. I'll always come by and we'll work on problems together. You're my friend. You matter."
She's misunderstood, or rather, she doesn't know the real reason for his vulnerable state, he's not worried she'll forget. He's sure she won't.
"No matter what happens, the three of us will be together, I promise. Kofuku and Daikoku too!"
He feels his eyes sting because how did she know? How did she know to say that? She took away his worries just like that. His bodies quakes trying to fight tears of relief and she finally grabs his hand.
With his other hand, he dabs under his eyes quickly and she looks away in order to not embarrass him. He stands up and a smile reaches his face that soon turns into a smirk.
"Of course, you've got to see what I make of that stupid god after all!"
Nodding and let a small chuckle escape her lips, she responds, "I'm sure he'll be great."
He's important to her and she does not want to lose him. She cares. Something feels so foreign about having someone care for him. He doesn't know if he's ever been cared for. He was so scared. He had been scared that if he let things change, if he let the two of them be drawn closer to one another that he would be alone.
The thought of being alone and neglected had made him feel cold and almost as though he couldn't breathe. He was so foolish. He knows her, he knows Yato as well, so how could he let his thoughts trap and fool him?
That ridiculous god that he serves almost died because he did not want to release him and he almost died from blight, so how could he ever think that he would be forgotten if the god grew so attached to Hiyori that he could never part from her? Foolish. A chuckle escapes his lips.
"Y-Yukine?"
This girl too, even when he was a terror, she lied for him in order to protect him. She always cares for him and his heart clenches because he has hurt her without her knowing. He doubted her, but he won't anymore. She has never let him down. She would never hurt him.
It was due to her foolishness that he got here. He wonders what would have become of him had she never crossed paths with Yato. He would probably still have been that glowing speck of dust and upon deeper reflection, he realizes that Yato would have still remained enshrouded in darkness.
He thinks it's amazing the more he thinks of it: their meeting. The meeting between the god and the girl took the god from the darkness and showed him light. She gave him life.
Yukine thinks he's getting too sappy when he starts to think that there really is such a thing as fate. He rustles his hair and recalls what Yato had said not long ago, "May our fates intertwine."
Yato and Hiyori were bound to one another by what seemed to be a string of infinite knots. A tie so strong it could not be severed.
The changes have made Yukine worry, but he shouldn't. He's bound to them as well. The meeting of them three, it was only the start.
He laughs a hearty laugh and he finally feels light. He laughs so hard tears prickle in the corner of his eyes and he decides that he'll be glad to see what is in store for the future. Hiyori and Yato are family, as are Kofuku and Daikoku. Kofuku's house is his home. He laughs even harder when he thinks of all the trouble Yato is likely to drag them into.
Poor Hiyori will have to deal with Yato for the years to come.
Wiping the tears in his eyes he looks up at Hiyori and notices that she's flushed.
"W-well, what's so funny?"
In that moment Yato walks into the room and slings an arm around his shoulder and says, "We've got a job given to us by Tenjin, let's get going."
Yato looks at Hiyori with a quirked brow and asks, "What's the matter? You're all..." with his pointer finger he encircles her face, "...pink." She flushes red at this and Yukine tries to surpress his laughter when he thinks of all the things he will be able to harass Yato with. He looks up at the two of them and a small smile reaches his lips. Things would change, it was inevitable, but the most important wouldn't and that's what mattered.
"Come on you guys, this is such a cool job! I'll tell you about it on the way there," said Yato as he pushed Yukine out the door and grabbed on to Hiyori. Yukine noticed how the god's fingers glided over the girl's before latching onto her wrist to pull her excitedly.
He sighed. It was only a matter of time. Fate was set in motion long ago. There are still many things he has to do and demons he needs to face. He joins his friends in laughter and joy and he takes a step forward.
Thanks for reading! Review? ;)
