Me: Alright! Glad you like the story ^^
China: You do not have any idea of where you're going with this, right, aru?
Me: Eheheheh yup. But I know it'll be about Korea! And his tiger-ness. And I know the name. EYE OF THE KOREAN.
Hong Kong: I am going to AVENGE my phone's death. How could you? ;;
Me: It still works, it just has scratches!
Spain: MOOO!
Romano: HEY! Tomato-bastard, you're not a bull in the intro. Why the f*ck are you mooing?
Spain: I'm staying in character, cutie!
America: Great idea! SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
South Korea: ROOOOOOOOOOAR!
China: Quiet, aru! You haven't even been introduced yet.
South Korea: I dunno, but the authoress is lazy, so I'll probably just be called Korea for now ^^'
Me: Yup!
China: I didn't even ask if... well, this intro is too long now, aru.
Me: You're right! I don't own hetalia!
Korea screamed.
Loudly.
"RAAAAAAAAWWWCK!
What the hell? Why did I... how... a... a-a-a A TIGER!
He recoiled in fear, falling backwards and flailing his legs wildly. Th-there's a tiger in here! WHAT DO I DO!? HEEELP! He-hello? B-b-boss? ARE YOU THERE? HEEEEELP!
He went on like that for a while, until, he finally gave the supposed 'tiger' (his reflection in the full-length mirror) one last scathing glance, and hopped onto his feet, bounding away. He staggered, and fell, for some reason unable to walk on his hind legs. Clumsily crawling to his feet, he crawled desperately away from the big beast.
It took him an hour to realize that there was no tiger chasing him.
He continuously dashed around the house, ruining everything in his path and being warned off by the various decorative mirrors he'd placed everywhere.
There he is! Oh, no, I don't think I'm going to-
His thoughts were interrupted as he let loose a loud sneeze.
He sneezed.
The tiger sneezed.
Korea stood there in amazement, shaking his head in confusion. The tiger shook his head.
He raised one hand. Or, paw, as it was.
The tiger raised his paw.
Realization dawned in his mind.
I-I'm a... a... tiger? What? But, how does... I... that... wh-what? WHAT? Did someone slip me some LSD when I wasn't looking? What's going on? I just... I can't... WHAT? I don't know...
And so, Korea sat there, staring in disbelief at the tiger's... his... reflection. Then, he pulled his lips back, showing all of his gleaming teeth, in an attempt to smile.
Oh, so it's just a dream. Great! Hehe, this is gonna be awesome! I'm totally gonna scare boss. Where is he, anyway?
Korea looked around, then stood up in search of his boss. Aimlessly, he wandered into his kitchen. Taped onto a note, his boss had scribbled out, in Korean, the words, "I went out to the market. Don't break anything."
Whoops. Too late.
Korea shrugged off his boss's warning, and approached the door.
I've never had dream where I was in such... control. This is sweet! I am SO gonna scare the crap out of him, then tell him about it later, when I wake up!
Snickering in anticipation at the fun he was about to have, Korea pawed at his door nob, twisting it around and then leaping outside with quite some difficulty.
He spotted a young man, about 20 or so, and snaked his way over.
The man screamed.
Then ran away.
Korea chased him.
Meanwhile, back in the conference room.
Romano's eye twitched in pure rage, "You mean to tell me... that... you turned the tomato-bastard into a... bull? And the pervert into a rooster?"
England nodded. Romano was not one to be messed with; even though he was cowardly, he could suddenly go all mafia-on your *ss. "I hadn't meant for this to happen... it was a complete accident! I did it to America, too... a-and probably South Korea. A-a-and... um... also..." he looked to Germany for support, but he was glowering at him with distaste. "A-also France, as you know... um... and... a-and... I also... um... a-and-"
"SPIT IT OUT, YOU ASS!"
"ITALY!" England blurted, "I turned Italy into a wolf!"
Romano tackled him.
"My brother!?" he screamed, "I don't care about Spain, but my brother! You're DEAD!"
The bull...Spain... okay, let's go with Spain.
Spain looked wounded, but Romano didn't seem to notice. After all, bulls can't really make facial expressions.
America was fondly watching from his perch on the white shelf, which he decided to name "Shelfy". After all, Shelfy had saved his ass from an angry Hong Kong on multiple occasions that day, so he figured he deserved some recognition. I also think his eagle mind was causing his human brain to slowly deteriorate into a wad of stupid, but it was kinda already like that, so I'm not sure. Just a theory.
Serves him right, America thought savagely, What's Obama gonna say when I tell him I became an eagle? This sucks. Wait... what's that?
Alfred suddenly trained his razor-sharp, intense gaze down onto that one rooster which was chilling on a really sad bull. Spain, America realized. The bull, I mean. America has no idea what the hell France was turned into. He was only listening to the conversation halfway. MMMmmmm... America thought about how hungry he was. He hadn't even stopped for McDonalds on the way here! He'd tried, but oh, no, apparently that stupid blond chick at the register didn't understand eagle. Stupid blond chick. All he'd eaten was, like, 25 servings of pancakes at Denny's! (Does Denny's serve pancakes? Lol idfk xD I know. It's a disgrace, I can't even remember the menu for Denny's. I SHOULD BE EMBRACING MY AMERICAN-NESS. Shame on me, shame on me.)
And he could really, really go for some rooster-burger right now.
Alright, just don't move, rooster-thingy. I'm not gonna hurt you, just, ya know, eat you. Not so bad, right?
America launched himself into the air, going straight at France, hoping for a kill. He flapped his wings in a flurry of feathers as he approached the rooster, and swiped his talon just above his head. Luckily for France, he overpowered his dive and whizzed right past 'em, crashing into the tile floor.
Alright, guys, I'm making up the fanfiction as I go along. So I must warn you.
We are about to enter France's perverted mind.
You may not make it out of this place, but, hell, I'm going for the gold. I understand if you leave now.
*Everyone ditches me.*
I feel so loved.
Anyway, GO FORTH, TO FRANCE'S MIND! *charges forward* YAAAAAH! OH GOD, THE IMAGES! THEY'RE TERRIBLE!
What in the... is that... America...? Why is he flying at me? This is serious, it is not so funny; no stupid jokes. Wait, is-AAAH!
He clucked in fear, and raced away, looking for sanctuary. Which he found, apparently, in Ukraine's lap.
Russia stalked over to him, and towered over the poor little rooster with an intimidating, "KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL!"
France ran away.
America shot upwards, chasing after France once more, who was now racing away from him, dodging around the wooden legs of the table and the legs of the nations. Alfred attempted to follow him, but inevitably, failed. Bald eagles aren't really built for running, after all. He flapped his way into nations, ripping into their soft flesh, and crashing into the table's legs. "AMERICA" Germany screamed as a gash opened on his leg, "STOP CHASING FRANCE! NOW!"
But America was in full eagle-mode now, and only cared about eating France. JUST LET ME EAT YOU! I mean, LOVE YOU!
France, too, was engulfed in his rooster's crazy mind. He had but two thoughts: AAH! I need to get away from this eagle, and find a hen to mate with!
You see, roosters do about three things in their spare time: Have sex, pursue sex, or crow about the sex they just had (Anyone get that reference? No? Okay...). So, really, it's no surprise that France picked that as his national animal.
Currently, in the room, there was a very amusing scene taking place.
France, in rooster form, of course, was dashing around the room to evade the evil America, in eagle form, attempting to eat him. Hong Kong was screaming something in Cantonese, along the lines of, "How dare you hurt my phone? I will avenge him!" all while the nations who America scratched nursed their legs or feet, and Romano wrestled with Britain.
That's when some poor, unsuspecting British lady walked in (AHAHAHAH inside jokes*). "I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's a call for-" she stared blankly at the strangeness going on before her. Then, she brought the phone back to her ear, and mumbled, "Sorry, it's not a good time... No, Mr. Egypt just appears to be a bit... busy, right now." then, she stepped back into the hall, closed the door, and went on her way.
Finally, Britain managed to throw Romano off him, and shouted (whew, moving the plot along), "AMERICA. STOP."
Alfred halted for a moment, allowing France to get away, and, unfortunately, Hong Kong to reach him. "You killed my phone. Prepare to die."
Luckily, America regained his composure, and just managed to spaz his way up to Shelfy before Hong Kong could kill him.
Britain sighed. He really didn't want to say what he was about to say. But he had to say it. "This is just my punishment for doing this to them..." he mumbled to himself, "Everyone! Listen... black magic can have side effects, too... some that won't activate for a while. Which is why," he was almost crying at this point, "You're going to stay... at my house..."
France clucked wildly at that.
"Shut up, frog!" exclaimed Britain.
Whoa. Dude, the chicken's France? Whoops. America screeched in distaste. Am I gonna have to eat your crappy food, too?
"But in the meantime, we have to look for South Korea!"
Suddenly, everyone realized that he wasn't there.
Mexico sniffed, and stared up at Britain, "What is his national animal?"
Everyone looked at each other, shrugging.
America screeched, Dude, I'll totally be able to see him! He flapped down to England, screaming and cawing, wanting to gloat about his superior eyesight. England sighed, then pulled out his Iphone. "I have a translator app, you know."
You could have told me that earlier... he thought in anger, looking back at Hong Kong, who was currently being held back by Moldova.
He screeched some incomprehensible nonsense at England, and waited for the Iphone to translate it. It came out as: "Your eyesight is unpleasant. Mine better. I see Korea sleep."
Britain gave him a look.
America cawed in protest. That app sucks! I SAID that my eyesight is better than yours, and that I could see Korea! Stupid thing.
"Let's just go... Germany, can you get Italy?" Britain muttered. Germany nodded.
And so, our heroes set off to look for South Korea as he roamed the streets of London, while the authoress typed two words per second, constantly clicked around from MCR to Green Day to Billy Joel, and focused on her former success.
England sighed, staring hopelessly around at the thousands of people crowding the streets of London. "How the bloody hell are we going to find him here?" he grumbled, looking up at Alfred, who was flapping above him.
Alfred, of course, had totally forgotten that his objective was to find South Korea, and not to just waste time flying around London. Oh, sweet! Flying seems way cooler here...
He opened his broad wings, and was surprised to feel warm air billow up beneath them. It lifted him up and up until, finally, he was soaring like a real eagle. crap, dude, this rules!
"America!" Britain yelled to him, "Look for Korea while you're up there!"
Alfred smirked. He could see everything. He could see the fleas crawling along a stray dog which roamed the streets, and he must have been a thousand feet up. He spotted the way Spain flicked his tail for a moment, and the eyes of passerby's gasping as the sight of a fighting bull. He could still see England's pores. Which, believe me, he did not find attractive. If Korea were out there, he'd be able to spot him. Unless his national animal was like... an amoeba... or something. But most of all, he saw prey. He saw a mouse as it scurried along near the sewers. He saw a robin fluttering into a tree. Mmm...now that I think about it, I could go for some rat burger... okay, gross. Focus, dude, focus!
He couldn't help but smirk (Well, in his mind) at his superior vision. Look at them, searching that one street. I can see, like, fifty of them at once! Okay... so... Korea... look for an animal... maybe that robin was Korea! Or that rat, or-
Bam.
There it was.
Korea.
He stood out a lot. His fur was bright orange, and flecked with black stripes. The fact that he got to be a tiger almost made America jealous.
Almost.
He gave one loud screech, arched his body into a dive, and rocketed down to the earth.
As he rushed towards Korea, he realized that he didn't really know how to stop. He thought for a moment about the videos he'd seen of eagles; none really consisted of them diving. Damn it.
So, he just did what he figured he should.
He flapped his wings.
Alfred flipped, heard-over-talons, and spiraled down to a patch of very, very hard pavement.
Hey, at least he landed near Korea.
"AAH! All the animals have gone mad!" a fat old man with a scraggly beard yelled, "RUN!"
In what seemed like a millisecond, America just managed to right himself, flap his wings, slow down, and merely float down to the ground. Korea glared at him.
Sup, eagle? he thought, Wanna go around scaring the sh*t outta some more people?
The eagle focused it's glare at him. Then, it let out a deafening scream. In response, Korea bared his teeth at him.
Ow, shut up!
He swatted at the stupid bird with one huge paw. In his annoyance, he let out an equally loud roar. Then, he showed his teeth in that same kind of, "Tiger grin."
Two can play at that game.
Korea swore that the eagle was trying to egg him on. It focused it's emotionless gaze on him once more, and screamed.
Loudly.
Ow! Not cool!
So, they had an entire game of 'Who can scream the loudest'. All the while, America was hoping that Britain's useless human ears would manage to pick up the noise.
Korea was a tough challenger; just as his roars were starting to catch up with Alfred's screeches, England, Romano, Spain, and France-who was still riding Spain- appeared around the corner.
He started yelling something but Korea's roars drowned him out.
Finally, he got fed up and screamed at the top of his lungs, "SHUT UP!"
In between the constant animal noises that were being made.
Korea whirled around, fixing his deadly gaze right onto England's equally deadly one.
Tu-shay.
"Now then," England said, "Korea. I turned you into a tiger using black magic."
Korea glared at him.
America would have snickered, That doesn't sound too weird.
"It was an accident. I was trying to get rid of my cold. Anyway, you... stop looking at me like that! You'll have to stay at my house until I can fix this. There might be some delayed... side effects."
Korea took a moment to process this. Is this just some messed up dream? He looked over at Alfred.
England sighed, "The eagle is America. The bull's Spain. The rooster is France. Italy was also turned into a wolf." mentioning the cowardly nation earned him a slap from Romano.
Korea couldn't believe this. He shook his head. I must be dreaming... this is ridiculous!
England could tell the poor guy was confused, so he just said, "Unless I'm the one dreaming, this is real."
Korea was about to object with a growl, but feathers flapping in his face interrupted him.
He looked back to see a pissed-off Macaw and some other, smaller bird (a Tero, but hey, Britain had no idea what the hell that was).
The Macaw suddenly screamed in it's craggy voice, "The first side effect, you *****."
Me: Done! Well, that took a while ^^' Let's see if anyone can guess who the Tero is! NO GOOGLING. xD
Britain: I'm so glad Romano didn't turn into a wolf. He would've eaten my ass.
Me: Sooo I've made it my rule to have every chapter over 3,000 words :D
America: Scccreeeee. *Ahem* Flying is epic :D
Korea: Not as good as being a tiger.
Brazil: Nuh-uh! Flying is cooler. Besides, being a macaw and all, you can still talk to people :3
America: BIRDS FOR LIFE.
Brazil: F*** YEAH! *wing five*
Me: Pleaaasse review! It makes me feel better about myself! And please, feel free to request some countries! :D And for nations that don't have official animals, I'll just go with their unofficial animal. Like the Tero! Hmm... if I turn Switzerland into his unofficial-cow-ness, he'll be a chick... *evil grin.*
Switzerland: F*** no. I'll grab my gun.
Brazil: For now, I won't have any personality. Julia needs to come up with one! Suggestions...? XD
Me: Crap, now my J button sucks.
*So, I was just chillaxin'(totally a word) in science class, and we had to do this stupid play. I was with some people who's names I can't say, so I'll just call them Anne, Dan, and Todd. So we were doing this play where we had to bumble around like drugged up-idiots to show side effects of inhalants/meth/cocaine/heroine (totally worth it though, because it made my science teacher say skag.). Anyway, it totally sucked. No one knew what we had (it was cocaine), and it went something like this:
Todd breaks Anne's pencil, who's character is names Mrs. Robinson.*
Dan pretends to vomit but it just looks like he's doing some weird kind of mating ritual.
I bumble around like an idiot.
Anne gasps and says in a British accent, "Oh dear, I'm calling nine-one-one. How awful!"
So my weird, homophobic (that's a story for a later date) science teacher blatantly says, "That sucked."
So Anne, in response, says, "I was a just a British lady.."