"Where were you going to take me?" Quinn asked once they were back out on the dancefloor.
"To our little spot on the battlements. So we could talk. So that I could maybe work up the courage to kiss you." Cullen said with his half smile.
"I was a little afraid," Quinn confessed.
"What could you possibly have to be afraid of?"
"I was afraid you...that we… I don't know. Nevermind, it's silly." she said, wishing she hadn't mentioned it.
"Tell me," he asked softly.
"I was afraid that, well, that we wouldn't be here right now. That maybe the last few days were all in my head."
"Am I really so hard to read? I thought if anything I was being overly forward." he said.
"No, I guess it's not really you. It must just be that my confidence has been shaken a bit more than I thought." she confessed.
"Oh my dear." he said pulling her extra close, "you are the last person whose confidence should be shaken. For any reason. You could have any man here."
Quinn looked down at the collar of his suit. "It's rarely that simple." she said.
"Yes, I suppose that's true." He said, and leaned forward to put his lips to her ear. "But something else is also true: Solas is a right fool," he whispered and nuzzled a little bit into her hair.
Quinn felt a warm blush begin to creep up her neck to her cheeks, and a smile spread across her face as she looked deeply into Cullen's glowing eyes, which now looked right into her openly and without hesitation. She felt that familiar sensation of the world falling away.
"I'm glad he left." she said. Cullen smiled.
But her bliss was dampened yet again when she remembered the tasks ahead of her for the following day. She hoped she and Cassandra could make quick work of the bandits, so Quinn could rush back. She didn't know what Cullen had planned the following day, or what was normal for him on any day really, but hoped that when things returned to normal at Skyhold, that he would be able to make time for her between all of his meetings and duties.
It was much dimmer in the hall now, and candles were being lit in every corner, but she still saw a faint blue glow to the sky behind the mottled glass windows.
"The sun is going down, and I have to be ready to depart by dawn." she said, sad at the prospect of having to end their night. "Would you still like to visit the battlements? Perhaps we can watch the rest of the sunset, before I have to begin preparations for tomorrow morning?"
"That sounds like a lovely idea." he agreed.
The Great Hall was now completely filled with dancers. As Cullen and Quinn made their way toward the door, she noticed that the few tables that had been set up were pushed back to the wall, to accommodate all the couples spinning and moving about on the floor. They passed a few couples in full amorous display, and could tell by the volume of the laughter that the wine had been having the same effect on everyone else as it had on her over the past few evenings. Not that she only had the wine to blame, or thank. Quinn happily noted the flaxen girl from breakfast flirting enthusiastically with a man in a shiny mask.
She and Cullen continued to smile shyly at each other as they made their way across the cool courtyard and up the battlement stairs.
The unused watchtower that they had to pass through was so dark she could barely see her hand in front of her face. She clutched tightly to Cullen and they crept cautiously through the dark until they reached the other door. It creaked open to a deep purple sky that was still being licked by orange and pink tendrils at the deepest parts of the horizon. Straight up above the stars gleamed and shimmered.
Quinn felt awe-struck at the spectacular display of heavens and sky before them.
Cullen turned to face her and she came in immediately for another kiss, not wanting to waste a moment now that they were alone again.
She hadn't kissed many men in her life. Only four of them total, including Solas. And while she had never thought that anything could top Solas's kisses, she found that those seconds under the stars wrapped in Cullen's arms, exploring the texture and sensation of his mouth, easily surpassed anything that she had ever experienced before. His kisses alternated between tender and soft, and quaking with restrained passion and intensity. His arms and hands kneaded at her flesh gently, but she could feel the unused strength in them. The way he enveloped her with his whole body made her feel small, precious and protected. But most of all, he was completely present. He wasn't pulling away, or frowning at the doubtful thoughts he was trying to put together to say to her. She felt that she had his complete focus. And it made her wonder how on earth she hadn't been madly in love with him since the day they met. Imagine the heartbreak she could have avoided if she had only paid attention to the man that was truly behind all those flirtatious stammerings, she thought, and not gotten distracted by that enigmatic and distant little elf. She remembered how flustered Cullen got the first time back in Haven that she said something complimentary to him, and it made her smile through his kiss.
She was happy to allow the kiss to continue for as long as they dared, though she felt her body begin to respond to him again in that familiar and thrilling way. The curves of his muscles were easily mapped out with the lightest touch, even under the sharp lined tailoring of his suit. And based on what her fingers saw, he had the chiseled body of a hardened warrior. But was still lithe and not overly encumbered. His almost sharp scent was absolutely intoxicating, and she felt it filling her up somewhere primal.
And the way Cullen touched her was something close to magic. His hand on her bare skin almost burned with the sweetest and most delicious intensity. She felt that she couldn't get close enough to him, that she needed to feel more of him, and she needed to feel it all over her.
"Maker's breath," he said into her ear.
"What?"
"Is it always like this between two people? Is it always so… intense?" he asked.
"You haven't been with many women Cullen? A handsome, powerful man such as yourself?" Quinn asked. She could tell by his nervousness around her that he hadn't been terribly experienced, but to imagine that he could have gone so far in his life without ever really loving anyone seemed so unlikely. Surely many women had loved him, even if he didn't know it.
"Many? Goodness, no." He said. "Don't get me wrong, there have been a few, and I have had my crushes here and there. But it was nothing like this.."
"That surprises me." Quinn said, amused.
"To think that things in life can change so quickly," he said. He rested his forehead against hers and inhaled deeply.
"Well, no. To answer your question. It is not always like this." she said.
"And the last couple nights… Maker's breath."
"You said that already." she said, unable to pull the smile off her face.
"Yes, well. I am beginning to see what all the fuss is about. All the books and poems and stories. I confess that for much of my life all that just went right over my head." he said. "But getting to hold onto you these past couple nights… I understand now. It's like you were made to fit right in my arms." he said and kissed her softly. "Like your lips were made to be kissed." he kissed her again. And then pulled away as his hands began running up and down the length of her bare back. "Like your body, our bodies, were made to fit perfectly into each other…" he said.
"I think they were." She answered, breathless, and he let out a low groan, almost a growl, as he pulled her in yet again with much more urgency. This kiss was much deeper, forceful even. His hands gripped around her waist and squeezed and pulled, with a new strength that seemed to be struggling right at the edge of restraint. Quinn relished the sheer power behind it, knowing that if he wanted to, he could completely break her apart with his hands. She almost wished he would, longing for him to just let go and ravage her. But the hard kiss ended abruptly, and once again he pulled back.
"I'm sorry for that, if it was too rough." he said.
She caught her breath, and then whispered, "I liked it." she breathed. "Don't worry, I won't break."
The full length of his body was up against her again, and she could feel the rhythmic pounding of his heart against her. Inside the sensation of throbbing and pulsing was her own heart, going a beat faster than his.
"I know it's soon, and that this is all still new. But this just feels so right." he said. She nodded in agreement as she nuzzled closer.
But still, underneath the roaring of sensations and desire, she felt nervous about the risk of her offering up too much of herself to him, too soon. Especially now that all pretense was gone. And it was a real risk. The shaky excitement that was coursing through her body still made her want to throw him down on the floor at their feet and give herself over to him completely, to claim him as hers once and for all. But a little voice in the back of her head was urging restraint. "I want to do this right." He had said to her, and she did too.
He must have heard that little voice as well, as he pulled his face away, though he kept his fingers threaded through her hair and the other arm wrapped securely around her waist.
"I hope I have put all your fears to rest." he said gently, referring to their earlier conversation.
She nodded, feeling sort of foolish. "Completely" she said, catching her breath and willing her body to be still. "I feel a little silly that I even mentioned it."
Cullen let out a light laugh and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "You don't ever have to feel silly my dear."
"Thank you Cullen." she said, caressing his cheek, and forcing a sense of calm into her highly stimulated muscles.
"So, what do you have planned for tomorrow?" she asked, eager to change the subject.
"Well, with so many of the caravans planning on departing it is going to be a long day full of tedious security checks and taking inventory and meetings and…," he sighed, "I have a headache just thinking about it. I will be wishing I was with you."
She took his hand and walked over to the edge of the battlements. The snowy mountains behind them reflected back the last hues of orange and pink from the sunset, but all the details of the vista before them were lost to the darkness. To the west, the sun was flaring its last bursts of light as it sank.
The breeze that came toward them from glacial mountaintops brought along an icy chill and she shivered. Cullen noticed and moved in behind her, warming her with his closeness, running his hands along her bare arms. His lips brushed against her neck, and she heard him inhaling at her hair as though trying to capture her scent. She closed her eyes and sank back into him.
The sky was the same color when Quinn greeted the morning stars on her walk out to the stables. Some of the carts and wagons were lit up with lantern light, their inhabitants preparing for the day's journey.
She looked deep into the sky and recalled her vision of Cullen in the garden, standing there in his sharp black suit. She sighed deeply. With any luck she would be back by this evening, so she could rush to him and feel him wrap his arms around her again. It had only been a night apart, as they had reluctantly parted for their own rooms after almost falling asleep on the battlements. But already she was aching for his touch again.
It didn't help that she got almost no sleep in the hours she spent in her own bed. She tossed and turned for what seemed like forever, tangling herself up in her sheets and feeling as restless as she had ever felt in her life. Despite the calm she felt under the sky with Cullen, when alone in her room she just couldn't seem to purge herself of the excitement of the evening, of the memory of Cullen's kisses. Of the knowledge that this man who had held her in complete thrall for several evenings returned the passion that had flared up so inexorably within the past few days.
She even said his name several times while alone in the dark, the sound tumbling off her lips almost outside of her control. Cullen. It wasn't just her voice calling for him, it was her whole body and soul. She would have given anything to have him there with her in the dark. Imagining them together, bare skin on skin was almost more than she could handle. Yes, she still wanted them to take their time and do things right, but she was only human. Her body longed for his touch, for his weight on her, for his sinewy muscles moving around her, pressing into her and taking her to the heights of pleasure. Her body burned with desire. It was a good thing he wasn't there with her in bed, as she would have happily cast aside all propriety and insisted that he take her.
It took great effort to quiet her mind and her body, to stop the moving pictures from invading her attempts at rest. And eventually she did fall asleep, but whether that was for a few hours or only a few minutes she could not say.
Walking through the crisp courtyard air in the dark, she felt like it must have been the latter.
Part of her wanted to creep up into his room and place a quiet kiss on his lips before she departed, but she knew it was not a wise idea to sneak up on a slumbering warrior, no matter how skilled she was in the arts of stealth.
She readied her horse while she waited for Cassandra, and when her friend finally made an appearance they wordlessly trotted through the front gate of Skyhold.
She always hated riding in the dark over the long bridge that led from the front gate to the mountain roads. The blocks that served as railings on the side of the bridge barely did anything to remove the impression of the edge dropping straight off into the giant canyon below them. She doubted they would prevent anything or anyone from going over, particularly when helped by a strong gust of wind.
The icy outcroppings hundreds of feet below caused that wind to whistle as it traveled under and around the bridge, surrounding them on all sides with an eerie howl. She always felt vulnerable out there. If something flighted such as a dragon chose to attack them during the ten minute journey across the bridge, they would be completely exposed.
During the day, the view was actually quite spectacular. But when the sun was down, the bridge was a different beast entirely.
"So, these bandits, do we have any idea of their numbers?" Quinn asked at last when they finally reached the other side. It was difficult to speak while on the bridge, as the howl often drowned out any sounds. The tall white frostbacks that rose around them began to become more visible as the sun prepared to rise above the horizon at their rear
"There is a band of five of them, which includes one mage. Two camps reported that they saw two first, pretending to be stranded travelers. When the wagon's stopped, then the other three made their appearance." said Cassandra.
"Typical," remarked Quinn.
"Yes, certainly lacking in originality, and our guests here apparently did not have the wits to see through it." continued Cassandra, "Anyway, they targeted the wagons that were alone. So the departing guests have been instructed to leave in groups for the return trip, not to leave anyone alone and stay in as big a caravan as they can manage. I have a map that has the locations of the encounters marked on it, and we should reach the first area in about three hours. We have no way to know where they really are now, but if they are planning further attacks then I imagine they will at least have a scout out close by to report on activity in the road." said Cassandra.
"We'll need to get off the roads once we reach a suitable point." observed Quinn. There was no point in doing it now, as the snowy bluffs on either side of the road seemed to be just as exposed at the road itself..
"Yes. Once we get below the tree line I will take one side of the road, you take the other. Of course it is possible that the bandits got everything they wanted and are long gone. But we might be able to find their campsites, and see where their tracks lead."
"Did they hurt anyone?" asked Quinn.
"No. But a noble family did lose a set of heirloom jewels which has caused considerable distress to the matriarch. We must try to retrieve them if we get the opportunity. Also Cullen is sending along some soldiers to assist, but they are giving us a wide head start so that we have time to scout things out for ourselves. Once the road is full of soldiers than we lose any element of surprise."
"Of course." Quinn nodded, and then paused."So I can't help but notice Marcus is not with us."
"No. Things with Marcus did not end on a good note."
"Oh, I am sorry to hear that."
"Yes, he failed to mention to me that he was engaged to be married."
"Oh!" exclaimed Quinn with genuine surprise.
"Yes, of course he claims he had no intention of getting involved with me during his visit to Skyhold, though that was not the impression I got from him when he wrote to me. But he states that he is not happy about his engagement. He was pressured into it by his family."
"He is a grown man, is he not?"
"That is what I said." stated Cassandra. "It is an upsetting turn of events. But I will survive. He would have been leaving either way."
"Of course."
"Your evening with Cullen seemed to go well."
At the mention of his name, Quinn felt herself swoon a little and she fought back a smile.
"It did, yes. About as well as I could have hoped."
"Well, I bet you are relieved. Cullen has endured much in his life and has come a very long way. He deserves happiness." Cassandra said in her clipped, no-nonsense manner. "As do you."
Quinn thought back on everything she knew about about Cullen's time with the Templars. He had been tortured after being imprisoned by the mage Uldred, during the fall of the Ferelden circle. And he opposed and fought back against his Knight-Commander, Meredith, who had gone mad with the effects of red lyrium. The events of Kirkwall were well known to all, and it shook her a little to try to reconcile the stories of what he had seen and experienced with the calm, sensible and strong man whose kisses had been branded into her memory. She wondered most about the torture. Back after the loss of Haven, when they discussed his decision to quit lyrium, Cullen had brought up the fact of his torture, and how it still haunted him. She knew these things about him, but so rarely really thought of it. He never gave any indication that he was struggling, mentally or otherwise. But then she supposed he would not be as effective a Commander as he was if he let those things affect his ability to lead. He had to maintain an in-control and respectable mask at all times for his soldiers. It was a requirement of his job.
"Yes, he had been through quite a bit hasn't he." Quinn said as the weight of the realization sunk in.
"And he still struggles with pain from the lyrium addiction, but at least he has not yet seen its worst effects." added Cassandra.
"He does." Quinn said.
"And it has been escalating in fact. Recently he has been getting more frequent headaches. You may have noticed several days in the last couple months when he was not around. That is because he was ill."
"Oh!" Quinn said, surprised. She recalled no such days, but she hadn't exactly been paying attention. It shocked her to consider a time in her life, and so recently, when she wouldn't have noticed Cullen's presence.
"Please don't make a big deal about it to him. He would not like that I have told you. But I have worried a little." Cassandra said.
"So has there never been anyone who has kicked the lyrium addiction with succumbing to madness or death?" Quinn asked.
"Not as far as I know. But just because we don't know about someone successfully quitting lyrium doesn't mean it hasn't happened." she paused, "It could be that that information has been hidden by those who don't want to encourage Templars to try it."
"But some have died. We do know that."
"Yes. It is a very real risk."
"Does he tell you much about what it's like?" Quinn asked.
"Not really, I think he only tells me what he has to." Cassandra answered, " The things that will cause people to ask questions and need to be explained anyway."
"Have you ever seen him on these days?"
"I did once. It looked… bad. He could barely speak." said Cassandra.
"Is there anything that can be done?" Quinn asked.
"He has tried every potion and healing poultice available as far as I know. But the effect of lyrium is much more than just physical, so healing the flesh alone doesn't take away the pain. Lyrium is distilled magic, after all, and magic takes many non-physical forms. I have spent many months researching and wracking my brain for a possibility of any other solution that has not been tried. And I have yet to find anything promising."
Quinn fell silent, lost deep in thought.
The land around them was slowly being unveiled by the rising sun, and after another hour of trotting along quietly, she could see the treeline approaching.
"We should consider getting a mabari or two," Quinn said eventually. "For situations such as this. We could greatly benefit from a creature that sniffs out hidden trails, or can sense something close by that we cannot."
"Yes. That does seem a bit overdue." Cassandra agreed.
Quinn wished they had some right then. This whole day could be over in a matter of hours if they could just send a hound out to find a trail.
She just wanted to be back with Cullen, especially now that she knew he had been silently struggling with so much pain. But would he appreciate her mentioning it, and fawning over him in an attempt to help? Was it even possible for her to help?
Once they reached first cluster of trees, Cassandra and Quinn tied up and fed their horses, and then set out separately on foot.
The alpine forest was quiet and peaceful. The wind that had howled at them as they crossed the bridge wasn't blowing here, only the occasional breeze that made the treetops around her whisper.
She walked on, trudging through the shin deep snow, her feet getting colder with every step. Between the tiredness and the scenes of the last two days invading her focus, she found that she was closing her eyes for long periods at the memory of Cullen's lips. She listened to the stillness around her as she allowed the recollections of how Cullen felt against her body warm her from the inside out.
She still had flashes of their drunken time in the bar, his hands around her waist, pulling on her. His lips so close, his head resting against her as she whispered in his ear.
She relived those moments, trying to recall the sounds, the smells. All the little sharp inhalations of breath that came from him whenever she allowed her hand to venture out.
But still, nothing compared to the kisses on the battlements. Both the soft, tender kisses where they just breathed each other in, and then the time he kissed her hard, promising a passion unlike anything she had known before, to be released at the moment they finally give themselves to each other completely. The thoughts that followed, the pictures she manifested of the things she wanted to do with him, were almost unbearable to endure. But it had certainly helped to warm her up.
She also thought of his struggles, wondering about his pain. Wondering if she might be able to get him to talk about it. Her desire for him reached an entirely new level now. Now she not only wanted to love him and satisfy his body, but she also wanted desperately to provide some comfort and peace to his troubled mind.
She opened her eyes again, trying not to walk into a tree, trying to remember that she was there for a reason. A good reason. The safety of the departing caravans depended on her and Cassandra.
Unless the bandits were long gone, she thought. It was the fourth day since most of the visitors arrived in Skyhold. The perpetrators could be miles away, and their trails completely cold.
But why wouldn't they come back to an almost sure repeat performance? Their haul had been good, but it could be better.
Because this time the mighty Inquisition had probably sent along a security detail.
She wondered if she could change Cassandra's mind about following the caravans to the mountain passes. That was a two day trip each way, guaranteeing a minimum of four days before returning to Skyhold. That sounded impossible. She didn't know that she would be able to make it that long, without breaking free and rushing back to Cullen's arms. But if the bandits were caught, that would be the end.
Quinn kept her eyes open and alert while the remainder of the morning dragged on. She saw and heard only the movement of the mountain creatures. There was a small herd of ram on a hillside, and birds flitting from tree to tree. It was peaceful and crisp and on any other day she would have been grateful for the serenity she gained from simply existing quietly within the natural world. On any other day but this day, where there was only one place in all of Thedas that she wanted to be.
The sun climbed steadily higher into the sky, and it had centered itself directly above her when she first heard the footfalls of galloping horses on the road. Turning toward it, she emerged from the trees in time to see ten Inquisition soldiers approaching, the sun glinting off their shiny metal armor.
Cassandra emerged several yards ahead of Quinn on the other side of the road. The soldiers slowed their horses once the two of them were sighted and came to a complete stop just steps away.
"Good afternoon Inquisitor. Cassandra." said a tall lanky elf who was riding in the front. He climbed down off his horse.
"I am Telath, first lieutenant. We are at your service."
"Yes, I remember you. Thank you for your assistance today. Unfortunately we have seen nothing so far." said Cassandra. Telath nodded in understanding. "Did you pass our horses?" she asked.
"We did, and they are well. We left them some water."
"And how far behind you are the wagons?"
"The first ones were preparing to leave just after us, but we kept a steady gallop and got a bit of distance between us. The wagons will be moving much more slowly. But I think we will probably begin to see them in the next couple hours. "
"Thank you. Now I am sure Cullen has informed you of our tasks. We would like a few of you to join us on foot to search for any signs of a trail or campsite. Two of you stay with the horses, including ours back at the edge of the treeline. The rest of you go back to the caravan and begin to patrol along the wagons, particularly the smaller groups. If we see nothing of the bandits, we will accompany the wagons to the last mountain pass and then return to Skyhold."
"Yes ser." The soldiers said, as they began conversing with each other to decide who was taking which detail.
Telath dismounted his horse and unhooked a basket from the rear of his saddle, which he walked quickly over to Quinn.
"Cullen sent this along, with his well wishes." he said handing it off to her.
"Oh! Thank you." Quinn responded.
The basket was small and woven together tight with thick strands of grassy rope. She felt giddy with it in her hands, knowing Cullen had prepared whatever the contents were for her.
Inside the basket was a thick wool blanket bunched up around two thick clay bowls with lids, separated by a half loaf of bread. On top of one of the bowls lay a bright red rose, with a small scroll curled around the stem.
Touching the lid of one of the bowls she was surprised to feel that it was warm. Steam and a mouthwatering scent rose from the contents, which smelled enticingly like Magda's stew.
She handed a bowl and a spoon to Cassandra, and then took a seat on a nearby boulder so she could set down the basket and unfurl the little strip of paper.
The note said simply,
"Fuel for your success, courtesy of Magda. Anxiously awaiting your return, C."
She put the rose to her nose and smiled openly, not caring who was observing her. And then she tucked it into her coat pocket and joined Cassandra in enjoying the rich, savory meal. Though no longer hot after traveling for three hours on a galloping horse, it still had enough lingering warmth to revitalize her cold limbs and drained energy stores.
The rest of the day passed with no sign of the bandits, and she eventually came to the realization that the gusty mountain winds must have completely covered any tracks that would have been left. As she heard the approaching rattle of the wagons, she let go of any hope that she might be returning to Skyhold that evening, and resigned herself to the probability of a four day trip. Maybe more. She fingered the silky rose petals that were secreted away in the pocket of her coat and wondered if Cullen was thinking about her with the same frequency as she was him.
Despite camping in every corner of Thedas for the past two years, Quinn found that the ground below her the first night was unbearably hard and cold, and that she seemed to have completely lost her taste for tent living. She wished she could leave the soldiers to escort the caravans by themselves, but didn't want to disappoint Cassandra.
The next morning she galloped dutifully alongside the caravans, squinting against the bright sunlight that reflected off the white mountain tops. The day was long, and now they were too far from Skyhold for Cullen to send along any such thing as a warm bowl of stew. She and Cassandra had packed only dry, cold provisions and though she had her longbow, the only game she spotted on a regular basis was the ram. She felt that it would a waste of the animal's life to strike it down just for a single meal's worth of steaks. They certainly didn't have room or materials to transport a supply of meat. So their meals were quiet and did nothing to warm them.
As the hours crawled by, with only the sounds of creaky wagon wheels as her companion, Quinn grew increasingly bored and introspective. All of the wagon's passengers were still securely sealed inside, protecting themselves from the icy mountain winds. Cassandra was far ahead of her and on the opposite side of the road and the soldiers were spread out too far for conversation. There was no one to talk to to help pass the time, now that any chance of remaining undetected was long gone. The day was completely empty and torturously long.
She knew that even if the bandits were still in the area, they would not be bothering to make an appearance now, especially once they caught a glimpse of the soldiers. So she let her mind wander, replaying those three tumultuous days over and over. She brought the rose out and held it up to her nose again and again. And she digged deep down in her memory for any details she might have been storing about the events at Denerim and Kirkwall.
Finally the sun set, and Cassandra and Quinn set up their second night's camp.
"We are only two hours from the mountain pass. I believe we should hold our position here through the day tomorrow, until the final carts come through. I hope they all make it before the end of the day, or that might add another night to our stay out here" Cassandra observed.
That was the last thing that Quinn wanted to hear, but she had already been considering the possibility herself.
"Hey do you see that, over there?" Quinn asked as a tiny flicker of light caught the corner of her eye. It was on the slope of a mountain that rose high above them, right at the base of what looked in the dim light to be an outcropping of rocks.
Cassandra ceased her attempts to start their own fire, and turned to her. "We don't know who that could be. Surely some bandits would not be dumb enough to light a fire that is visible from the road."
"Unless it's a trap." Said Quinn.
"That is a possibility," answered Cassandra.
"When the sunlight is gone I will go take a look." decided Quinn.
At full dark, she set out climbing through clumps of trees to the flickering fire, making sure she stayed completely silent and hidden. When she was halfway there, she saw two figures moving around the fire and something about their loose and easy demeanor put her at ease. Bandits camping so close would have been on alert for approaching soldiers, and these two clearly were not. At one point the silhouettes came together in an embrace, and stayed together long enough that it was clear that they were lovers.
She stayed in stealth mode until she was close enough to hear them speak. She crouched down into a shadow, and stayed completely silent, waiting for them to reveal something in conversation. But they were busy eating and not saying much. They sat right up against each other as they huddled close to the fire, and ate in a comfortable silence. The man paused in eating to smooth a strand of hair away from the woman's face.
They were young, maybe mid-twenties, their cheeks and nose pink with cold. They were dressed in thick leathers, and the woman also had a grey wool blanket draped around her shoulders.
All suspicion cast aside, Quinn stepped out of the shadow.
"Hello", she said simply.
At the sound of her voice the man stood and stepped in front of his lady, but she leaned and peered out at Quinn from behind his legs.
"I mean you no harm" Quinn said and walked slowly toward them, revealing herself in their fire's light.
"Maker's breath… you? Nah. It can't be." Said the man. It was a response Quinn had gotten several times before. Their camp was small, consisting of only a small tent, a couple bags and their fire. She saw no sign of the presence of horses anywhere. She wondered what it was that would cause them to traverse these mountains on foot.
"My name is Quinn. We are protecting a caravan travelling through these mountains and I saw your camp."
"It is you! The Inquisitor!" said the man, stepping aside to allow the lady to face her "This is Kella, and I am Bronn."
"Pleased to meet you." said Quinn, "I must say, this seems a strange place for a honeymoon."
The two looked at each other nervously.
"Uh, yeah, we uh…" Bronn began,
"We are traveling to see family on the other side of the Frostbacks," offered Kella.
"On foot?" asked Quinn.
They looked at each other again.
"You can tell me the truth. I am not here in any official capacity, and all I want is to get home, not complicate my trip further." She said sighing and sitting down by their fire.
"We have been out of work for a while, and didn't have the money for a horse or other transport." Said Bronn.
"Oh, well are you well provisioned?"
"Yes, we have what we need," said Kella. She was pretty, with long blonde hair and a small, upturned nose.
"Okay. Well you know Skyhold is only a few days journey to the east. If you happen to pass by, please feel free to come to the gates. Restock your provisions, have a hot meal, take a rest. It's a bit warmer inside the walls than it is out here among the ice." Quinn said.
"Oh, well, thank you." Said Bronn, surprised. The two visibly relaxed.
"Before I go, could you tell me if you have seen anyone else out here? Our caravans were apparently accosted by some bandits on their way in a few days ago. We've been searching for any sign of them, but their trails in the snow seem to have been wiped away by the wind." Said Quinn.
"Um, no. We haven't seen anyone else. But there are bandits you say?" asked Bronn, an expression of concern spreading across his face.
"Yes. They didn't hurt anyone, but did rob them. What about old campsites? Any signs of other people?"
They both shook their heads.
"Okay. Well, please be careful out here. Myself and some others will be on the roads close by throughout the day tomorrow, making sure no one comes after the caravans again. In case you need any assistance," Quinn said.
"Thank you Inquisitor." Kella said. "Might I ask you a question? Who is left at Skyhold? Since the breach has been closed for a while now, do you still have all the armies?"
"There is still a battalion of soldiers, yes. Not as many as when we were at war. Many of them chose to return to their families afterwards of course."
Kella nodded, "What about the mages you recruited?"
"A few have remained." Quinn replied. "Might I ask why you're inquiring?"
"Um, no reason. Just curious."
"Okay." Quinn knew there was more to it than that, but didn't feel the need to press them. She paused, giving them another moment to reconsider their answer. "Well then, good evening."
"Good evening Inquisitor."
Quinn walked back to Cassandra wondering what it was they were running from. But she had a feeling she would see them again soon, either before she and Cassandra started back to Skyhold, or at Skyhold itself in the coming days. These mountains were too harsh and stretched on for too long for anyone to willingly pass up the possibility of a warm bed and a hot meal.
As she and Cassandra feared, it took an extra day for the last caravan to finally make its way past them and to the mountain passes, just before sunset. The day was long and cold, and Quinn had struggled to stay awake as the rattling and bumping of the carts lulled her into a borderline stupor.
With still no sign of bandits anywhere, the soldiers and Cassandra turned back toward their home in the sky, stopping to camp for a night at the edge of a small frozen pool. Quinn had begun to feel like she would never be warm again, but she knew that waited for her at the end of the road would warm her in every possible way.
The more time she spent away from Cullen, the more nervous she got when she imagined her return. She couldn't wait to see him, to kiss his heavenly lips again, to feel his strong arms wrap themselves securely around her. And she thought of other things… the press of his body against hers, the almost unbearable yearning that was sparked in her at his touch.
But she wondered if his ardor might have cooled. Five days apart could have changed his mindset a little, got him back into the routine of duty, work, and out of the almost dreamlike escape of the Skyhold wedding. She felt her nerves firing up as they set out on their last day of travel, knowing that that night she would be going to bed under a familiar roof, and hopefully doing so freshly kissed.
The day seemed to have more hours in it than any of the previous four. The sun was in her eyes for most of it, and since she had to squint against its painful glare anyways, she just let them close and become a screen for so many of the same pictures and scenes she had already almost exhausted with constant replaying.
When they finally approached the ghostly bridge of Skyhold, she felt as though she had just completed a journey across all of Thedas. Her bones and muscles ached, her hands and feet were numb and the five nights of poor sleep threatened to end her travels at the door. Part of her wanted to throw herself down in the courtyard grass as soon as it was under her feet.
But she didn't. Instead she walked her horse calmly to the stables and left her in the good hands of Dennet. And then immediately began the climb up to Cullen's office, feeling a small burst of energy help her up the numerous steps.
She gave a small knock to the door, and then tried the latch. It clicked open, and she took a tentative step into the dim room.
"Cullen?" she asked. It was unusual for him to leave the office door open if he was not in.
Papers and a quill and ink were sitting on his desk as though they had just been left, along with a still burning lantern, so she knew he must be close.
"Hello?" she called, heart pounding as she walked the length of the room. She was both disappointed and a little relieved that he was not there. She felt like she was caked in grime from five days on the road. Still riding the little burst of energy, she decided to run to her room and clean up a bit before she saw him. The sun had been down for hours, so most of Skyhold's residents were already in bed and the fortress was almost completely silent during the sprint across the yard, and the walk through the Great Hall to her quarters.
Anxiously, she bathed herself and cleaned her teeth, popping a mint leaf into her mouth to freshen her breath. Then put on a pair of fresh clothes and shoes, and made her way back to Cullen's office.
The room was even dimmer when she reentered, indicating that the lantern was preparing to burn out.
"Hello?" she called again, a little louder this time. She thought she heard movement in the room, so she walked over to the lantern to pick it up.
But a dark mass on the floor caught her eye, which she came to realize was a human figure crumpled up behind the massive wooden desk.
"Cullen!" she called. She rushed around the desk to him, her heart suddenly up in her throat making her voice come out a croak.
This must be it, she thought, the withdrawal headaches that Cassandra was telling her about.
She knelt down to him, trying to get a handle on what he was doing down there.
He seemed to have collapsed, but remained partly upright, facing the wall. His eyes were squeezed shut as his forehead rested against the cold stone.
She touched his cheek with the back of her hand.
"Cullen" she said again as a surge of anguish rose in her at the sight of his obvious pain.
He only groaned in response, and his head lolled back and forth. She had to get him out of there, she thought. She had to help.
"Okay, let's get you up." Said Quinn, as she pulled his arm out and placed it around her neck. He didn't resist, but his limbs were completely stiff and difficult to position. She needed to find a place for him to lay down, a bed. His own room required the ascending of a ladder, which was out of the question. And her quarters were all the way across the length of Skyhold.
But their fortress had just been home to over a hundred visitors, and she knew many of the serviceable rooms had been set up with beds for some of their more demanding guests.
She lowered him down in his chair as well as she could manage, and looked him over. His hand went up to his eyes as soon as he was seated, fingers squeezing at his drawn eyebrows.
"I will be back" she said to him, and hurried out the door that she knew led to a nearby watchtower. She sprinted across the pathway and burst through into the watchtower. Sure enough, she could see the outline of a bed through the darkness of the room. She searched within the depths for a lantern, and found one in the corner directly across from the door. She lit it, but decided to leave it in the room so she didn't have to manage carrying it and Cullen at the same time.
Pulling the blankets down off the bed in preparation for receiving Cullen, she turned and raced out of the room again, leaving the door open behind her.
Cullen was heavy, and he barely responded to her instructions. He continued to groan, keeping his eyes squeezed tightly shut. She hoisted him up as much as she could, steadied herself, and slowly lumbered along the battlements to the room. By the time they reached it, her heart was pounding and she was sweating with the effort of carrying so much of his weight.
She helped him lay down on the bed and then stood there looking at him and catching her breath again, blood rushing in her ears. She hated seeing him look so pale and gaunt.
Not knowing what else to do, she began undoing the buckles of his boots. Luckily he wasn't in full armor, or she would have had to remove that as well. Once she finally hoisted the boot of his foot she stood there, with his bony ankle in her hand. Just above it was a shapely, solid calf. A warrior's leg. But his flesh was worryingly hot to her touch. He groaned again, and brought an arm up over his eyes, which shook her out of her reverie. She rushed to remove the other boot, and also pulled the belt out of his pants, but was too concerned for his state to be tempted to do anything else.
Putting her hand to her forehead, she confirmed that he was indeed burning up.
She rushed around the room, searching frantically for a cloth that she could dampen to try to cool him down.
A cask of water remained in the corner of room, and upon checking it she saw that was still a quarter full.
Quinn returned to his side, pulling up a small stool to sit upon with her bowl of water and cloth. She mopped at his temple with the cooled rag, and unfolded it to let lay it across his forehead. And gazed down at the face of her lover. She stomach was tied up in knots, and her mind was drawn back to all the tragic and brutal memories contained inside his beautiful head.
Seeing an opportunity to study him without recourse, she let her eyes draw over him, tracing the lines of his features. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, and she saw dark blonde hairs curling under the collar of his shirt.
She gently nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck, and smelled his sharp and pleasantly musky scent. She couldn't wait to rest in that nook, to put her lips and nose against that fragrant skin.
After countless minutes of rewetting the cloth, and setting it on various parts of his face, her body had calmed down completely and she started to feel the immense weight of her own eyelids.
She looked down into Cullen's face and stroked his now damp skin. His eyebrows were no longer knitted together in a grimace of pain and the groaning had ceased. He seemed to be sleeping.
She leaned in and kissed his lips gently, feeling no stirring from him at all. It was not the kiss she had been imagining during the trip, but at least she was now by his side.
As the minutes continued to pass, she felt her own weariness emerge more and more, and finally realized she would soon collapse herself if she didn't lie down.
So she pulled her own shoes off and splashed some water over her face. And then crawled into the bed beside Cullen, settling herself inside the covers. She slipped her hand into one of his, and within moments was deep into a fitful sleep.