Here's chapter 6, time to get things moving! I'm surprised at how quickly I managed to churn this chapter out but I'm not going to question it, I cannot describe how good it feels to finally have my motivation back :) Hope you enjoy.
Chapter 6: The Departure
Over the last few days I've spent a lot of time out of the house, mostly at the café or at Sarah's. It's Saturday evening and Cyrus is leaving tomorrow afternoon and once again I find myself on the porch swing at the back of Sarah's house. My house had been filled with mixed emotions and I didn't really want to get mixed up in it.
For one thing, both Cyrus and my parents were extremely proud of and excited about the internship, but Cyrus was trying his best not to show it for Delphine's sake. Everyone thought she was putting on a brave face and was forcing herself to be happy for Cyrus. But from where I was standing she seemed to be genuinely happy for him.
However, what had changed was their relationship. They were both trying to pretend that nothing had changed. They were trying to make the most of the rest of the week but since Cyrus had so much packing and organising to do it mostly consisted of Delphine helping where she could. Neither of them could convince themselves that they were still in a proper relationship but for the sake of keeping things easy, neither of them said anything. They had agreed that they would see the relationship through to the end but their hearts just didn't see the point. In my opinion they were only making things harder on themselves.
A couple of times I know that Delphine had been about to engage me in conversation about our plan for the road trip but she stopped herself each time. She clearly saw her excitement as a betrayal to Cyrus. So, to make things easier, I made myself scarce. If I wasn't around, she couldn't be tempted to speak to me.
I didn't exactly want to avoid her but I couldn't bear having her look at me with that pained expression. I knew it wouldn't hurt me too much to wait the extra few days for things to go back to normal between us, if we had something that you could even consider 'normal'.
The nights had been tough though. I kept coming home late and would just crawl into bed, pretending to be exhausted even when I wasn't. We shared brief, meaningless conversations that were bothering her on the surface because she was feeling like we had lost all the ground we had made on our friendship but deep down I think she was grateful. Even Cyrus didn't say anything to me about not being around which spoke volumes to me.
Sarah kicks me and jolts me out of my thoughts. I push her leg back onto her side of the swing and make a face at her.
"Would you stop daydreaming about her?" She begs. "You're going to be spending the rest of the summer with her. I, however, only get you for a couple more days so please be present."
"Is somebody jealous?" I tease.
"Ew, gross," she says in disgust. "Things really seem to have fallen into place for you, haven't they?"
"How do you figure that?" I gawk.
"Cyrus brings home a hot French girlfriend, effectively cancelling your plans with him but then can't spend any time with said hot girlfriend, leaving you to fill his place and getting your travel plans back," she explains.
"None of that is anything that I wanted to have happen though," I reason.
"Doesn't change the face that you managed to make it all work for you," Sarah says tauntingly.
"Yeah but nothing can happen between us which means this trip is going to be torturous," I say dramatically.
"But you said that they're basically broken up," Sarah points out as she drops her foot to the ground to begin rocking us gently.
"Basically," I agree, "but not quite. They're trying to make it last until the end of the summer," I reveal sadly.
"That's just stupid," Sarah grumbles. "And it's only going to make things super awkward if something does happen with the two of you while they still consider themselves an item."
"That's exactly why I'm not letting anything happen," I promise more to myself than to Sarah. "I'm only telling her how I feel if or when she breaks up with Cyrus."
"But that is probably going to be the end of the summer when she is leaving," Sarah splutters in disbelief.
"Look, if that's how it plays out, so be it but I will not betray Cyrus like that or put Delphine in an awkward position," I say honourably.
"That's all well and good but what it she puts you in an awkward position?" Sarah asks, quirking a brow at me.
"What do you mean?"
"It could totally happen that she reveals feelings for you or even comes onto you before she breaks up with Cyrus," Sarah says, seemingly highlighting what she sees to be obvious.
"She wouldn't do that," I say confidently. "Besides, this is all just speculation. I don't even know that she likes me."
"Well, you'll soon find out I guess."
I shrug my shoulders in discomfort, getting my hopes up is a really bad idea. I drop my head against the back of the seat and close my eyes as I sigh. Sarah pats my knee gently, sensing my mood. It's not like me to get invested in a girl so quickly, especially one so unavailable. I did the whole 'falling for straight girls' thing when I first came out. It didn't take me long to swear off girls that would inevitably cause me pain.
But Delphine didn't compare to any of those other girls. She stepped right into my life and nestled herself firmly in my chest and I was completely helpless to it all. And it's not even like she knows what she's done to me.
I hear Sarah flicking on a lighter and see her light up a blunt. She holds it out to me as she exhales and the smoke blows out over the grass. I look at it burning between her finders, her eyes narrowing at my hesitation.
"Don't tempt me," I object.
She immediately brings it back to her side.
"That's a first," she says, referring to my rejection.
"It's getting late, I'll have to go home soon and I want to keep a clear head around Delphine."
She nods her head in understanding and takes another drag, exhaling slowly.
"Hey, I wanted to ask you a favour," I say poking her leg to get her attention. She rolls her head over to look at me and I take that as my cue to speak. "Would you mind lending me your car for the trip?"
"Did you wait until I was stoned before you asked me that?" She asks with a laugh.
"No, but I guess it doesn't hurt," I joke. "It's just that Cyrus is taking his car to L.A and that was going to be our means of transport."
"When would you need it?" She asks blankly.
"Not for another week or so. I was going to spend a week showing Delphine the city and we can use the bus or whatever to get to most things," I explain.
"Nah, you can have it in three days," she says, holding up three fingers as if to back up her response. "I know some of those tourist-y things are a bitch to get to unless you're driving."
"Aw, thanks man, that makes things a hell of a lot easier," I say appreciatively. "I promise to take good care of it."
"I know you will," she says calmly.
"I better get going," I mutter, getting up from the swing carefully. "Talk soon, ok?"
"Yup," she drawls, opening her arms for me to lean down and hug her. Sarah acts all tough but as soon as she's even the slightest bit high she becomes a complete snuggle monster. It's completely hilarious and adorable because she flat out denies it when she comes back down.
I wave back at her one last time before I walk around the side of her house and leave.
….
It's pretty quiet in the house when I walk in. I wander into the kitchen and check the microwave to see if dinner was left for me. Thankfully I find a plate of stir-fry left for me in the microwave. I set the timer for two minutes and set about pouring myself a glass of water. Once I have a knife and fork retrieved I lean against the counter as the timer ticks down. The smell of the stir-fry wafts over to me and my stomach grumbles. When the timer dings I throw a tea towel over my hand.
I balance the hot plate on my hand, grab my water and exit the room. I carefully carry my food upstairs. I turn in the opposite direction to my room at the top of the stairs. I stop at the open doorway of my parents' room and see them sitting up in bed. Mom is looking over some files from work and Dad is reading a book.
They don't notice me until I jab the door frame with toe of my shoe.
"Oh hey, Cosima, didn't see you there," Dad says, taking off his reading glasses.
"How was your day, honey?" Mom asks.
"Good, just hung out with Sarah, nothing exciting," I inform them. "Dinner smells good."
"Let me know what you think of it, I tried a new recipe," Dad says eagerly.
"He means he looked up a new recipe then didn't follow it," Mom teases him.
"I'm telling you, it needed the saffron," he says with a pout.
"Don't worry, Dad, I trust your judgement and I'll let you know what I think," I assure him. "Anyway, I was just popping my head in to let you know I'm home."
"Thanks, love," Mom says, turning her eyes back to her documents.
"Night," I say before heading back to my room.
Delphine isn't there and I didn't really think she would be. She's probably in Cyrus' room or maybe they're out. Cyrus may have wanted to go out to say goodbye to other friends.
I put my plate and glass down on the bed-side table. I grab my laptop and start it up. I open netflix and pick a random episode of Modern Family to start playing.
I munch away on my dinner peacefully noticing that Dad was right, it did need the saffron. I send him a quick text telling him as such. Moments later I hear my Dad yell "I told you so!"
I shake my head and laugh around the food in my mouth. I press the back of my hand to my mouth not wanting to spit my food all over the place. I've always loved how competitive Dad gets with Mom even when it isn't a competition. He acts like a big child and it always brings out Mom's lighter side.
"What's so funny?" Delphine asks as she enters the room, looking around to see what could be the cause of my laughter.
I shake my head and swallow my food before saying, "Nothing, just something my Dad did."
She smiles and me softly and accepts my answer before crossing the room to sit on her makeshift bed.
I pause Modern Family and look around the room, trying to think of a safe topic we could talk about.
"Can we not go back to this?" Delphine asks pleadingly. My eyes snap to hers and I look at her in confusion. She gets up, coming over to sit on the end of my bed. "We were in such a good place. I thought we had finally gotten close but you've hardly spoken to me all week."
I sigh heavily and toy with the threads of the blanket on the bed.
"We were, we are in a good place," I correct myself. "I just wanted to give you and Cyrus your space. I know that these few days must have been tense and I didn't want to make it worse."
"Worse?" She asks incredulously. "It would have been a welcome relief to have had you around, Cosima." She pushes her hair back in frustration and sits up on the bed cross legged. "Cyrus and I have no idea what to say to each other anymore. I know he's excited about the internship but he won't talk about it and I know he thinks he's doing me a favour but seriously, talking about the internship would be better than the silence."
"Well, surely you had things that you spoke about together before?"
"In Paris we had classes together and I showed him around the city and he told me all about San Francisco. We've had less and less to talk about since I got here and now there is virtually nothing," she says aggravated.
"He'll be gone tomorrow and then you won't have to worry about it so it's ok, just calm down," I say gently.
"I know, thank god," she says with a sigh, dropping her head into her hands. I pause and look at her stunned. Her head snaps up and she realises what she just said. "That was a terrible thing to say. I just mean it's not easy being in a relationship with someone you can't talk to. I'm so sorry, Cosima."
"No, hey," I stop her, putting my now empty plate to the side. "There's no need to apologise to me, ok? Neither of you could have predicted that this would happen, you both had the best of intentions when you were coming out here. Don't beat yourself up, relationships fizzle out all the time."
She rests her elbows on her knees heavily, dropping her head down again. I shuffle over to her and sit with one leg behind her back and the other tucked up to my chin. I put my arm around her shoulders and rub her arm. She doesn't respond at all, if anything I feel her slump over a little more.
"I didn't want to have to do this," I inform her.
I throw the leg I had tucked against my chest over her cross legs and bum shuffle closer to her until I can hook my heels together on her other side. I then wrap both arms around her clasping them together under her arm, then finally rest my chin on her shoulder.
"Cosima, what are you doing?" Delphine asks in a faint voice as she shuffles slightly to see if she can move.
"I'm being a comforting octopus," I explain as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. She turns her head to look at me, our faces mere centimetres apart. I don't think she was expecting me to be so close because whatever words she was about to say die in her mouth as she exhales lightly and I feel the hot air on my face. I ignore it and look up at her warmly with a grin. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to stay like this until you feel better. The comforting octopus clings on until it feels all the sad feelings go away."
I watch as her eyes light up and she bites her lip trying not to smile. Her eyes look all over my face before settling on my eyes and a smile tugs at the corner of her lips again.
"You are so cheeky," she tells me.
I can't help but laugh which shakes both of our bodies. It's contagious and eventually she too is laughing and throws back her head at how ridiculous I'm being. Once we both manage to stop I look at her softly, examining her face for any trace of sadness.
"See? Works every time," I say smugly. "I think the comforting octopus can let go now."
Delphine grabs my thigh and glances at me before looking away quickly.
"Not yet," she whispers. "I think there's still some sadness left."
My heart trembles slightly at her request and I keep my limbs where they are. Not that I had a choice, Delphine had one hand tracing circles on my thigh and the other was clutching my arm making sure I wouldn't take it away.
I turn my head and rest my temple on her shoulder instead, I don't think I can take much more eye contact when I'm this close to her. I inhale deeply and everything is Delphine. Never having had the opportunity to be this close to her before, it was all a bit overwhelming. I desperately hope she can't feel my heart pounding against my chest.
Delphine slowly rests her head against mine. I smirk to myself, I can hardly feel her head through all her thick curls.
"Thank you, Cosima," she murmurs. I squeeze her tightly to let her know I heard her.
The circles she was tracing on my thigh change to what seems to be writing. I tilt my head down a little to try and see while not disturbing her. I think she is writing my name but I can't be sure. I move my head a little more to get a better look when one of her curls falls across my face and tickles my nose.
I automatically go to pull my hand back from around her front to rub at my nose but it catches her hand that is drawing on my thigh and I don't know what she thought my intention was but she easily threads her fingers through mine. My breath catches in my throat and I lift my head to look at her. She's staring down at searchingly and I want to say something but it's like she's erased every thought in my mind.
I'm saved when the tickle in my nose becomes too much and I tuck my face into my shoulder to sneeze.
"I'm so sorry," I say apologetically, unlatching myself from her. "That was so gross. I practically sneezed on top of you."
I hop off the bed to grab a tissue from the box on my dresser. I turn back to look at her, wiping my sleeves as I do so and see that she has a deep red blush on her face. She seems dazed as if she doesn't know what just happened.
"No, no you didn't, it's ok," she assures me but her eyes refuse to meet mine. She tucks her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around her legs before resting her chin on her knees.
"Did comforting octopus not work?" I tease, trying to lighten the mood. "I don't want to have to fire him but if he can't get the job done he'll have to go."
Delphine rolls her eyes and smiles, finally looking at me.
"Don't worry, he did the trick," Delphine replies and I sigh in relief that the awkward moment has passed.
"So, what time does Cyrus leave tomorrow?" I ask as I sit back down on my original position on the bed, putting some space between us.
"He said he wants to be on the road by twelve," she informs me and I nod my understanding.
"Are you ready to say goodbye?" I ask hesitantly.
"Yes, it may be a little awkward considering how we're leaving things but I'll see him again in a couple weeks and hopefully the time apart will do us some good."
"Delphine, I hope you don't mind me asking but why not just call it off now? You're only going to get to see him a few more times before you leave, wouldn't it be easier to end it now rather than drawing it out?" I ask, trying not to sound hopeful.
"Honestly, I considered it," she says surprising me. "But I thought I would seem ungrateful if the idea came from me. Had he suggested it I would have happily gone along but since he didn't I kind of feel obligated to stay with him."
"Is that any reason to stay with somebody? Out of obligation?" I ask a little bitterly.
"It just doesn't seem right to end things with him when I'm still going to be staying in his house and living with his family, even if he isn't going to be here," she says defensively.
"I understand your reasoning," I admit. "But that doesn't mean I agree with it."
"Why do you care so much?" She asks in confusion. I gape wordlessly for a moment, realising that my opinion on how they want to end their relationship should be completely irrelevant.
"I'm just looking out for Cyrus," I lie. "But like you said, if he didn't suggest it then this must be what he wants."
"Right," Delphine says slowly, side-eyeing me suspiciously.
"Well, I think it's time for sleep," I say quickly before she can pick up on anything else.
She moves off my bed to her own. I grab my wash bag off the dresser and head for the bathroom. I take my time washing my face and brushing my teeth.
When I get back to the room she appears to be asleep and I am more than relieved.
….
I wake the next morning to the smell of bacon and the noise of my Mom calling me to come downstairs. I look around the room and see that Delphine's bed is empty. I look at the time on my phone and see that it's 10:30. It's later than I expected.
I groan my way out of bed and tiredly put on leggings and a tank top. I put my glasses on and check myself in the mirror, rubbing at the lines still on my face from the pillow. I can't resist the smell of bacon any longer and make my way downstairs.
In the kitchen I find Cyrus dressed smartly in a shirt and beige pants. He's standing behind the chair that Delphine is currently sitting in, his hand on her shoulder. They seem more comfortable around each other this morning. I wonder if their bittersweet departure has softened them towards each other once again.
Delphine is dressed simply in a blouse and jeans but it's still more effort than I put in for his farewell breakfast. Cyrus is exuding excited nerves as her keeps bouncing on the balls of his feet, too jittery to sit down just yet. He walks over to the counter and pours himself a coffee. I roll my eyes because that really isn't going to help.
I smile at Delphine as I walk past the table over to my Mom at the hob.
"Do you need a hand with anything?" I offer.
She looks at me and shakes her head then looks down at my bare feet.
"Cosima," she says annoyed. "I wish you would put some socks on in the morning, the floor is cold and you'll catch a chill."
I roll my eyes and go to sit down at the table since she turned down my help.
"Mom, you've been trying to get me to wear socks in the house for seventeen years and it hasn't worked yet, what makes you think it's going to start working now?" I complain.
"If not to keep you well, you could have a least gotten dressed properly to say goodbye to your brother," she reprimands me.
"I would if we were going out for breakfast but we are literally just having a normal Sunday breakfast in the kitchen," I point out.
"Please don't argue with me, Cosima," she says flatly.
I'm about to say something back but think better of it and just shut my mouth. Delphine sees me make the mental decision and laughs quietly, trying not to alert my mother.
What is up her butt? I mouth across the table to her.
What? She mimes back to me.
WHAT. IS. UP. HER. BUTT? I punctuate slowly and she laughs out loud when she realises the message I was trying to get across.
Mom turns abruptly to look at us and we both set serious looks on our faces. Cyrus smirks behind his coffee having seen the whole exchange from over by the coffee machine.
Just then Dad walks in making Mom forget about the three of us. He too has a shirt on with nice pants.
"I didn't realise this was a black tie event," I joke.
"Enough with the attitude, Cosima," Mom warns, pointing the spatula at me menacingly.
"I just wanted to dress nicely to see my son off," Dad explains proudly.
"I'm so sorry, Cyrus," I say in faux seriousness, getting up from the table. "Please, let me just go change into my tux."
"Just sit down, Cosima," Mom orders.
I sit back down and Cyrus grins at me as he sits down too. He hates when all the attention is on him and I have no doubt that he is feeling the pressure to excel in his internship so if I can diffuse any of that, I will and he knows it.
Mom sets all the food down on the table. "Dig in," she announces and everyone eagerly starts putting food on their plates.
Everyone is tucking in when Dad raises his glass of orange juice. "A toast," he declares. "To Cyrus, I've no doubt that you will work hard and make a lasting impression."
Cyrus looks at me and rolls his eyes but we both lift our glasses along with Mom and Delphine just the same.
"To Cyrus," we all cheer as Cyrus bows his head humbly.
"You'll do great," Delphine says to him quietly as she puts her hand on his and gives it a squeeze. Cyrus seems to appreciate her comment most of all, probably because it's like a blessing of some sort. It's her way of letting him no that she truly isn't annoyed at him anymore. He leans over and pecks her on the lips.
I quickly look down at the food on my plate and proceed to cut my sausage into pieces. I glance up for a second and see Delphine's eyes flit away from mine.
The rest of breakfast goes smoothly, Cyrus is glad that attention has shifted to general conversation and Mom is probably relieved that I stopped pushing her buttons. I berate myself mentally for not putting more thought into where I sat down. Sitting across from Delphine means that I catch her eye every time I look up and avoiding her gaze feels obvious when I have to turn my head pointedly in either direction.
After we finished the main breakfast of bacon, eggs, sausages, pudding and toast, we moved onto tea and a selection of pastries that Mom must have picked up at the bakery this morning.
I put two on my plate, not even sure I'll be able to eat them because I'm so full but it's better to be safe. I don't want to pass up on them now to see that they're all gone later, which they definitely will be if Dad has anything to do with it.
Cyrus rubs his tummy and looks at the pastries, tempted.
"Mom, are you trying to fill me up so much that I won't be able to drive?" Cyrus jokes.
"It's a long drive, I just want to make sure you won't go hungry," she says lovingly.
"Don't worry, I'm planning on taking a break when I'm half way," he assures her. "But I don't know if I'll need to now after that feast of a breakfast."
He looks down at his watch and sits back, declining the pastry Mom is trying to put on his plate.
"It's nearly 11:30," he informs us.
"I thought you said you didn't have to be on the road until 12?" Mom says, worried that he is about to vanish before her eyes.
"The sooner I get going the better, I have a room to organise and unpacking to do once I get there and I want to get it all done tonight since I start tomorrow," he explains.
Dad seems to approve of his attitude and gets up from the table.
"Let me go get your bags, son. Are they in your room?" He asks and Cyrus nods. "Then I'll meet you out by the car."
He strides off and everyone gets up from the table. Mom quickly goes to Cyrus' side and leads him outside, Delphine following closely behind.
I wander out slowly. I stand on the front step and see that Mom already has Cyrus pulled into her arms for what I expect to be a very long hug. I'm surprised at how clingy she's being, he just came back from being half way around the world. He's only going to be six hours away by car, I figured this would be much easier. But I suppose she only did just get him back and he's gonna be gone again.
"Mind your back, Cosima," Dad says as he comes up behind me with two massive cases. I step down the couple front steps to let him go by. I sidle over to Delphine who has stepped back to let my parents have their goodbye.
I don't ask her how she's feeling, we spoke about it enough last night and I don't want to make her feel like she has to lie in case my parents hear her. I know she's relieved but when I look at her now there is more emotion than I would have expected based on what she said to me last night. But that was all talk I suppose, now that it has really come down to it maybe she's realised that she is going to really miss him.
When my parents finally release Cyrus, Delphine goes over to him and my parents join me. Dad stands with his back to them, perhaps trying to give them a bit of privacy. Mom mumbles away about how much she is going to miss him and about how grown up he's become but I'm not really listening. I'm subtly trying to lean back to see past Dad. I don't know why I'm trying to see, I'll just be torturing myself. However, they only embrace briefly and kiss each other innocently. It was not what I was expecting at all.
Delphine walks back over to us and Cyrus opens the door to the car. He looks at me and smiles. He sends me a salute which became our traditional form of saying goodbye when we weren't going to see each other for a while when I was a child and didn't like to give him hugs. But whenever he or I returned I used to never be able to resist giving him a hug and it seems to have stuck. I salute him back and smile widely.
He gets in and starts the car. We all watch him as he backs out of the driveway and slowly drives away. Dad is the first to turn away, encouraging Mom to do so to or he knows she'll stand outside for ages just watching the road in the distance.
They leave me and Delphine standing next to each other in silence. Part of me thought that we would never get to this moment, where it was just me and her and Cyrus wasn't two doors away. The silence between us isn't uncomfortable but it is definitely charged with a certain excited energy that I know neither of us will address just yet.
"Do you know what's weird?" Delphine asks, eyes still following Cyrus' car that can no longer be seen. "This doesn't feel weird," she states, answering herself.
"What do you mean?" I ask, not sure if I should look at her or keep my eyes trained on the distance like she does.
"Your brother, my boyfriend just left," she says, finally facing me. "And I'm standing here with you, someone I hardly know and I thought it would feel weird but it doesn't. I feel like I should feel more about him leaving but instead I'm excited about what you and I will do."
She looks at me with all this emotion, mostly excitement that looks like it's trying to burst from her. Her eyes flicker between mine, looking to see if I feel the same way and I know that on the surface she means the road trip but that feeling of potential that is almost tangible between us has to mean more. So I nod in understanding, letting her know that I get it, I'm feeling it too.
But a part of me can't help but feel a little concerned and she spots it passing over my excitement like a veil.
"Wait, does it feel weird for you?" She asks worriedly.
"No," I state, voice trembling. "Not at all."
…
And that, my friends, gets Cyrus out of the way. To many people's relief I'm sure. (And my own if I'm honest, I couldn't wait to get started on the Cyrus-less chapters.) It isn't the end of him though, he will feature again in the future but for now we're in the clear and the girls can start having some fun ;) Now, where will I send them first...? Thanks for reading,
Aisling xx freakingcharming-limaheights