Thursday!

Chapter pre-read by Lou and betaed by Nancy - these ladies are a blessing; characters owned by SM.

Chapter 15

"Edward, I've gotta ask two favors first."

My head snaps - he has the audacity to have requests? While I dwell on the option to yell at him or rather hit again, he quickly continues. "Please. I don't think I can get out of bed right now. My chest hurts like hell, and I seemingly have bitten the inside of my cheek; I have to swallow my own blood. I'm only asking you to cover me with a blanket, and also bring me a glass of water."

I silently rise up and drag my feet to the adjacent bathroom, absentmindedly recollecting what my textbooks said. Although the mouth is the most contaminated part of the human body, blood cells kill the bacteria and help tissue regenerate; saliva speeds wound healing; oral mucosa heals faster than skin; he'll recuperate in just about a week. I move like a robot, dragging my feet back until I stand by his bed again, a glassful of water in my hand.

This whole thing, it's surreal. If someone were to draw a painting of us, it'd probably resemble a modernistic canvas of black and white patches crossed with a sharp red streak – the white and black being him and I, as distant and opposite as can be, and the red depicting the blood still resident on the tip of his tongue while he licks his dry lips. I bend to place the glass over the nightstand, mentally preparing myself to hold him once again, and help him drink.

But… shit…the room blurs. Oh, shit… I can't feel my fingers…

A wave of dizziness wipes away the image of my still naked and uncovered Jasper, replacing it with white sparkling snowflakes over cool gray solid background. Together with the electrical buzz in my ears, I hear a heavy thud, registering in the back of my mind that the ground has slipped from under my feet and I've fallen. I've heard my own body hit the ground, I realize - or was it my head smashed against the floor? The dizziness won't go away. I hear the tribal dance rhythm hitting my temples, and then I let go. A dense black curtain falls and separates me from the rest of the world.

Next, strong hands are shaking me. "Fuck's sake, dude, tell me you're with me," a voice booms, then a tiny slap on my cheek produces the final effect of waking me up. "Look, Rose, he's trying to open his eyes." They're shaking me again. "C'mon, Edward, what's wrong?"

I manage a grunt. "Let go, Emmett," 'cause right now, I'm sure I don't need to wake up. I need to be left alone, curled up on the floor in a fetal position, pure and innocent as an infant, reborn.

But it strikes me; re-birth is not happening. There lies Jasper, his ribs injured again, his story untold and truth unspoken. Emmett finds Jasper's towel and tucks it under my head. It's soft and wet, and smells of my cum. I come back to the world with a deep sigh, and with a realization.

I've been out of my mind; kicking him, injuring him again, hurting him even more by fucking his mouth, while he lay helpless and bleeding.

I'm a bad person. No, I'm a monster.

"Edward."

Oh my god, is he really addressing me?

"Are you alright, my love? Edward? Talk to me, please."

What? I'm dumbfounded, rendered speechless.

"He's gonna be alright," Emmett answers instead. "Obviously, he fainted."

Someone is pressing a cold, wet cloth against my forehead. I manage to keep my eyes open for a bit longer, and even lift my head a little so I can have a good look at my surroundings.

They have covered him with a blanket. It was probably Alice, who stands beside the bed, arms crossed in front of her chest. Emmett is kneeling next to me, half hiding a wide-eyed and visibly shaking Rosalie. Jasper has turned his head my way and fixates me with his blue eyes.

"Jasper, can you move a little to the right?" Emmett asks, causing us to break eye-contact.

"Sure," Jasper says and makes an effort. He hisses, and I know he's in pain, but they surely don't know it. Maybe they wonder why he won't get up.

Or maybe they don't? Did he tell them how I treated him?

He manages a few inches, turning on his side, and then Emmett lifts me and places me in bed, next to Jasper, tucking us both under the same blanket.

…Holy mother of all heavenly things on earth, I'm snuggled against his chest. Why isn't he kicking me out?

"You two, will you kiss and make up now?" Emmett says.

Ah, dude, you think life is that simple?

Oh wait, for him, maybe it is. For Jasper and I, not so much, unfortunately.

"No more fighting, hear me?" Emmett goes on, not waiting for confirmation. "Us three are going to grab some food and will be back with you in an hour or two. C'mon, Alice, let's move."

He urges the ladies toward the exit. "Jasper, no one will hear you yelling for help this time," he says, and closes the door from the outside.

"You called them?" I can't believe I didn't hear his voice – I must have really blacked out.

"Yeah, I did. I couldn't move, I'm useless. Hurts like a bitch, by the way."

"I need to examine you. A tad later, though, I'm still dizzy." It also feels so good to have my forehead pressed to his warm body.

"Edward, when did you last eat?" His finger touches my cheek, and it feels startling and nice. It takes me a while to form an answer.

"Yesterday," I say, not sure about the exact hour.

"You shouldn't forget to feed, my love. I saw the black circles under your eyes." The finger draws a line to my temple and stops, gently rubbing a spot behind my ear.

"Wait a minute, Jasper." I hate to interrupt his ministrations, but I have to shift my head and look him in the eye. "Aren't you mad at me?"

"No. I'm not. And I want you, badly."

"So you really aren't into women, uh?"

"Not at all."

Right. I knew it, anyway.

"Okay. Speak. Why did you let me believe I was the first man to awake your feelings?"

"In a way, you are a first. I've never really loved anyone before I met you."

Apparently self-conscious, Jasper averts his gaze, allowing me a moment to comprehend.

"But you've had many, um –"

"Let's say, plenty." He's speaking to the wall, and quietly. I understand why he doesn't want to meet my gaze at this moment. "Plenty of men, plenty of places."

"Okay, I see." It's not easy to swallow the truth, though. "Back to question one. Why did you mislead me?"

"I was afraid of you at first, Edward."

He turns his face back to me, gauging my expression.

"You… what?"

"You said you'd fallen in love with me while I was unconscious, and it freaked me out. I didn't know how to react. I thought you were a psycho, actually. At first, I wanted to keep you away."

"Fair enough. Your body gave up on you, though. You got aroused under my touch." I snigger, bringing up the happy memories.

"True fact. I've been affected by you, one way or another."

"Now, why did you let me plot your escape?"

"I couldn't walk out of the hospital just like that, could I? Not without raising suspicion. My situation was… well, delicate, so to say."

"No, I mean, why did you need me when Rosalie had that other plan?"

"Ha! But I didn't know about Rosalie's plan."

My chin drops.

All the time since his disappearance I thought he had played with me.

"Yes, Edward, I intended to escape with you, I was so happy with your plan. Remember how good it worked, until we got to the ICU?"

"It did! But then I had to go grab that monitor, and when I came back, you were gone! Puff! Disappeared!"

Without realizing it, I'm yelling at him, rage building inside me once again.

"That's when Rosalie opened my eyes about a fact I hadn't taken into consideration…" He keeps quiet for a while, a sigh coming almost inaudibly from his lips. "We didn't earn a dime in Forks. I couldn't pay for my treatment. And those were quite a few days of hospital stay."

"But how did disappearing help? I guess you still owe that money?"

"Nah… Emmett paid. For that to happen, he had to be allowed to believe he was helping Rosalie's brother who was in an unstable mental condition. Also, he was told he was saving me from you, an obsessed doctor."

Holy shit.

"I could have paid, you know." I prefer not to focus on what he just said. I'll think it over later.

"I wouldn't have let you. That's why I chose to finally stick with Rose's plan."

"Why wouldn't you let me? You used me unscrupulously, anyway." My words add a bitter taste in my mouth. But I know I'm speaking the truth.

"Because in that last day, I admitted to myself I loved you. And I couldn't use you any more - I didn't want to give you the chance to even suggest any more help. That's why it was only fair to disappear."

I see his Adam's apple move under his skin when he gulps several times.

"You're an idiot," I say, and snuggle closer to his chest. "My family has tons of money."

"Excuse me, Edward, but it's you being the idiot here. That's not how it works. We can't be together when I can't make a living. Don't you get it? I won't be your gigolo."

"But you say you love me, Jasper?"

"Yes, Edward, I love you, but a relationship between us stands no chance."

A/N: Urgh. Will these two have their HEA, what do you think?